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2003-07-07 - 2.44pm��previous entry��next entry
Day 16 of the TTC cycle....
Thanks you April, Shelley and Mey for your guestbook entries!! :) I appreciate them so much!
Well I am now on Day 16 of my very first TTC cycle, and my body isn't being very "clockwork" like it usually is, so I can't tell what's going on with ovulation this cycle. Which is annoying! But never mind. I should have had my fertile window up until Saturday, when I should have ovulated. But now it's Monday and I still haven't had a rise in temperature so I guess I haven't ovulated yet. Last cycle was the same, because it was a longer cycle than usual, so maybe the same thing is happening. Oh well, we are still trying to conceive, until after my temperature rises. So it's been a busy week!! :) It has been going well, and we are both getting so excited that we could really be making a baby. A real baby. We look at the pictures in my new book, "A Child is Born" and just marvel at what might be going on inside my body. Babycentre now puts me in week 3 of pregnancy, if we do conceive this cycle. It feels pretty cool to have all those weeks out of the way already! But then I have them all to do again if we haven't conceived. But never mind!! I am enjoying it all far far more than I expected, and I feel fine with the idea of trying for another cycle if we haven't conceived this time around. I think I would still be disappointed if I get my period, but making a baby is just so much fun! ;) So I don't mind doing it all over again next cycle. I mean, until now we've just been planning a baby, not trying to make one. Actually being at the TTC part feels so amazing and different. I feel like there is a whole different perspective on the whoooole process of planning and having a baby now that we are actually trying to conceive. It's wonderful.
My eating could be better though. Just these last few days my IBS has become awful again - it seemed to improve a bit a couple of weeks ago - and I have next to no appetite and feel queasy a lot. That's really normal for me though so I know it has nothing to do with TTC or anything. But it means I am kind of being slack with breakfast - either missing it altogether or just having juice - and generally eating more junk because that's often all I feel like. Yuck. That's not good for my body, or my baby if I am getting pregnant soon, so I should try a bit harder. I feel absolutely repelled by dairy products right now, which is a sure sign to stay away from them, I've found. I think I have an intolerance there, but if I avoid them for a few weeks I seem to feel like having them again, and I feel okay eating them for a few weeks until it all gets worse again. So hmmm. But I'm off the dairy for now. Boy do I hope pregnancy DOES rebalance my system! We'll see.
Anyway, so I would say my period is due in 13-16 days. It would normally be due on the 20th, but because I haven't ovulated yet it might not be due till the 22nd or 23rd, I don't know. So I have to wait till then before I can take a pregnancy test, or until I get my period and know it didn't happen this cycle.
When we first started TTC after my dad went back to France, it felt weird, and I just had such a negative vibe about it all. I just felt like I wasn't fertile at ALL, I can't explain it, I just felt totally non-fertile, like there was no point to trying even, because nothing was going to happen. It was really weird, and after a couple of days I told Neil about it and said maybe we shouldn't get our hopes up for this cycle, and focus on the next one instead. I even thought maybe we should stop trying this cycle. But we carried on anyway, and then on Saturday, which should have been the LAST day of my fertile window, everything changed. I felt just..... excited and optimistic, from nowhere at all, and there was just such a feeling of..... ohhhh why aren't there words?!!..... "availability" perhaps? Like I felt physically able to conceive, whereas I didn't before. Weird. Except not so weird a couple of days later now that I'm realising I didn't ovulate when I expected. How amazing that somehow I could sense that I wasn't fertile when I thought I should be - I just felt it, like I knew but I couldn't explain why or how. And then of COURSE I felt differently on Saturday, because that might have been my FIRST fertile day instead of the last - I don't know really, I'm just wondering. It certainly feels different now, and my temp is still low and I still have fertile cervical mucus (which I didn't have at all in my so-called fertile window!). So yeah, I therefore have absolutely no idea when to expect my period really! But oh well. Hopefully it won't turn up in any case.
Well I have nothing else to say for now. I haven't made any nappies or bought anything else. I haven't had much online time or done anything special to do with baby things. Infact making a baby seems to make a person rather busy!! ;) And tired. But it's all good! I can't wait for the next two weeks to go. I'm so excited!
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