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2007-05-26 - 12.33am��previous entry��next entry
Crazy obsessed woman at 5DPO
Oh my gosh, I am going somewhat nuts here and I'm only 5DPO with like pfthth chance of actually being pregnant! *sigh* Is anyone actually surprised?! ;)
I am having a weirdly crampy day today. I have been having some painful (crampy?) twinges just above my pubic bone on my right hand side since 3DPO, which I think I mentioned in my last entry. I am thinking 3DPO is waaay early for implantation, but there we go. I had the same twinges yesterday in the same place, but just a bit in the evening. I am trying to think what can cause twinges in that location! If it was my LEFT side, that would be different. I have constantly bothersome IBS and have all manner of twinges, aches and pains low down on my left lower abdomen! But NEVER on my right, even when the IBS is really bad (which it isn't right now).
Today I went to the supermarket to do the food shopping and was actually BOTHERED and distracted by it on and off, all the time I was shopping. More and more as time went by, so that by the time I was nearly finished, I was trying to think of a way to describe the sensation as I felt it happen, so that I could write it here later and ask Neil what he thought, etc. The word "flashes" describes the sensation best. Sharp flashes of pain, but not stabby pain. Just twinges, more like a "flash" of painful crampiness or something. I don't know.
After I got home (having noticed it driving home too), it got worse and I even asked Neil at one point what it felt like to have an annoyed appendix (he had his removed in his teens after appendicitis). Well, D'UH, it obviously hurts like diddly in comparison with this, so that was a silly question! But it's starting to confuse me somewhat. I started to get the same kind of twinges on the left side as well, and generalised achy crampiness across the whole area between my hips (but not quite as high up). THEN for a few minutes I could even feel the same twingey pains underneath. Now, what is that about?!
I wonder if mayyybe I've pulled something? I can't think what, or how, but maybe that's it? If I make a sudden move, sometimes I instantly get one of the twingey flashes over the right side of my pubic bone, well, just above in my low abdomen. It aches right out into my hip sometimes. This evening I have felt achy/crampy radiating down my thigh a bit on that side, but still the whole of my lower abdomen is achy/crampy, not dissimilar to period cramps, but not the same either.
I am actually going to chart "bad cramps" this evening, because it's sooooo different to the mild cramps I've been charting here and there this cycle. It hurts this evening. Sometimes the twingey crampy things are through my back too, but it's so generalised that I am wondering whether that rules out muscle strain? And it's fine if I am moving about, it's not like a muscle that hurts to be moved. Hmmm. I can't think if this is familiar from previous implantation times. I'm 5DPO today so today IS a typical time for me to implant, if there's even a bean there to implant, that is.
See now - right at this moment, typing this, I feel the pokey stabby twingey thing on my LEFT side about 2 inches in from my hip and 2-3 inches above my pubic bone. At the same time, I am achy like right through from front to back on my RIGHT side, and burny across my lower back and general lower abdomen. My thighs both ache on the front, near the hip joint, but like it's a continuation of the radiating crampiness, not a muscle cramp in my actual thigh.
So, what is all that about? It's unfamiliar to me, so I am all confused! I DO get radiating cramps to my back and legs when I have my period, so I reeeally hope this is not just going to turn out to be a cycle with a really short luteal phase again! I had 9 days last time, so 5 days this time would be MOST bothersome!
Okay, what more can I write obsessively about? ;)
My temps are pretty flat at 36.7, except for a sizeable dip at 3DPO. My temps this whole cycle have been soooo crazy that I honestly don't know what to expect from my temperatures while I wait for my period! I will just have to see from day to day and not read too much into anything.
I don't know that I'm feeling like I might be pregnant or anything though. My CM and cervix are a bit neutral - they aren't "telling" me anything obvious.
I AM bloated and gassy, but I am so accustomed to being that way (blush!) that I know which twinges are which when it comes to being all full of wind! Oh but I am kind of discounting any twingeyness yesterday as I ate a WHOLE tin of baked beans for lunch (!!!) so yeah, there was an unusual level of turbulance yesterday ;) I'm so honest here, aren't I?! Haha!
Neil came out with something weird and random today - he said, "I think you're pregnant." I told him it was too early for me to be pregnant, but he said, "Then I think you're getting pregnant!" He stroked my cheeks to see if they were any softer than usual (he is good at discerning that!) and didn't comment so I guess I am not soft enough yet! ;) But he has been right about it before. And wrong, mind you. But right more times than not.
I charted increased appetite today and yesterday, because I was really hungry for lunch while it was still morning, etc. Today I really am extra hungry. I've been eating big meals and snacking a lot in between. We had roast dinner this evening and then banana and sultana sponge pudding with custard afterwards, and I was so sad when mine was all gone! I am normally GROANING after a meal like that, but I really wished I had the same sized portion of dessert all over again to eat! I've snacked all evening since the boys were in bed too. Hungry. BUT, Neil wonders if the boys have both been on a growth spurt lately, and since they are both breastfeeding aplenty, that could be it. They aren't nursing any more frequently as such, but maybe they're just taking more from me or something, if they're having growth spurts.
I have been SUPER irritable lately, like PMS almost. Ugh, I really DO hope it's not my period coming ever so early. I've also been kind of prone to getting overwhelmed by nothing at all and feeling weepy about the overwhelmed feeling. Today at the supermarket, there were a lot of families with their kids doing the shopping. I was appauled by how many of the parents there were using awful language in front of (and to) their kids. Most of the kids there seemed to be between 5 and 12 years old, and oh my gosh the things I heard their parents say as I tried to do my shopping! Effing this and effing that, both at the kids and in normal conversation. There were other awful words too. I just couldn't believe my ears. The kids obviously heard it all the time because that's how they were acting. Anyway, after a while, pushing my trolley up and and down several aisles full of families, I suddenly felt that overwhelmed feeling again and felt quite tearful and upset about it. Weird.
I can't think what else. I must be OUT. OF. MY. MIND. to be even contemplating the existance of the possibility of pregnancy this cycle! *sigh* I really do think it's sooooo unlikely. I can't rule out the chance, because it IS there, but sooooo unlikely. And especially since it's the same kind of likelihood (bit less, even) as when Matthew was conceived, I kind of have this feeling that I can't possibly get that lucky TWICE. I mean, it's too unlikely. But I seem to be one of those crazy people who is only happy when they're obsessing about something daft, hehe! ;) Well, that's not true, I AM happy the rest of the time, but yeah. I'm just the type to obsess :)
Okay, it's so late but I NEED to post photos at my other diary, so I will finish this now. I'll update again soon, no doubt! Thanks for putting up with my craziness, hehe! ;)
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