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2008-10-25 - 11.40am��previous entry��next entry
Well I'll be jiggered....
Okay folks!
Last night before I went to bed after I wrote this entry, I checked my underwear because I felt crampy and SURE that I felt my period starting. At first glance, there was nothing, BUT being the obsesso-woman that I am, I squinted more closely, haha! I noticed that I had a little light coloured staining from earlier. I saw that late afternoon and it was so faint that I thought nothing of it. Mainly because it wasn't even red/pink/brown, it was just a faded orangey colour. And just a few spots. But by the evening it was obviously a stain of sorts, and so I went to the toilet and wiped, and found evvvver-so-slight spotting streaked through my (sparse) CM, mostly just a tiny bit of tan with a pinprick size PINK bit.
I straight away thought that I might be pregnant because I NEVER spot during my luteal phase unless pregnant. BUT, it could be my period right about to start? Although then that didn't explain the fact that I had some very light spotting earlier in the day with nothing in the hours that followed...
So anyway, I went to bed. Nathan woke hourly yesterday evening (HOURLY, people) and somehow kept that up all night long (thank goodness it's Saturday and I can rest up more than usual!). So I didn't get to sleep till about an hour after I went to bed, with his stirrings.
While I was lying there, I felt crampy. And then crampier. And then crampier still. Until I was dang sure that my period was there. I checked but there was nothing, so I put on a pantliner because I was sure I'd wake up in a mess otherwise! ;) I lay awake feeling soooo crampy that I wanted to get up and take painkillers. Some of the crampiness was queasy-making, like on the first day of my period when it has really kicked in. I had not a single doubt in my mind that I was getting my period at that very moment.
In the night I was aware when settling Nathan that I wasn't feeling "leaky" and so my period must not have started yet, which seemed exciting somehow! I also noticed that I had NO cramps. So, where had those really bad ones gone?!?! I remembered that I never have bad cramps during my LP without my period starting that same day, unless I'm pregnant, and I started to wonder!
In the morning (this morning), I woke up and temped, and got 36.9! Up again from yesterday, and in keeping with the level temps I've been having. I also felt crampy, but no period. Neil came upstairs to put Nathan down for a nap (I'd slept in because I was up so much in the night with Nathan), and I snuck off to the bathroom to pee on a stick. I was just suddenly sure that I HAD to pee on a stick and see. At 11DPO with a high temp and light spotting and on-and-off BAD cramps, I HAD to test, even though I'd only said last night that I felt like I wasn't pregnant and that I was sure my period was coming! ;)
I have weirdly soft skin today, by the way! :)
So, I didn't tell Neil that I was going to test. I peed in a cup, dunked the stick and watched it cook from just inches away. I wanted to see it, I didn't want to look away for a moment. I saw a second line right away but made myself stay composed till the window cleared and then I could be sure. It's super faint, but clear as day. It came out fainter in the photo I took, but LOOKIE....
I'm pregnant! AGAIN! I can't believe it! I feel so.... it just feels so surreal, but sooooo incredibly exciting! Here, I fiddled with my photos to make the second line clearer, and did an "inverted" one, like they do at Fertility Friend, haha! It shows up the fact that there's definitely a second line there:
I keep looking at the test in joyous disbelief! Nathan was crying and not settling, and so I went to the bedroom door, and Neil came over to say that he wasn't settling, and I held out the test stick. He leaned right in, holding Nathan, and his eyes got wide, and he said, "Oh, you're pregnant!!" I said yes! And he looked a little bit anxious all of a sudden! He was tired and Nathan was crying and the boys weren't being brilliantly behaved downstairs, and all in all it was not the best moment to contemplate another baby on the way, haha!
I showed Arthur the test stick and he saw the second line right away. I didn't tell him what the stick was about though, not yet.
I feel slightly cautious because I'm anxious about miscarriage. I have had 3 healthy pregnancies, and you know, the stats are that 1 in 4 ends in miscarriage, etc, etc. I know it's silly of me, but I'm just nervous. A bit.
I phoned my parents an hour or so later, and when my mum answered the phone, she asked why I was calling so early in the morning, because I never do (except to tell her I'm pregnant, haha! She sounded kind of leary!). I said, "What reason do I usually have for calling you early in the morning?!" and she said, "You're pregnant." She did her usual somewhat-sarcastic "Oh, that's marvellous!... No, really, congratulations." *sigh* The very next thing she said was, "Your NEXT task, is to make it through the first trimester without neglecting your little boys..." which was obviously just such a GREAT thing to hear. *sigh* Now I feel like I won't be able to turn to her just for a shoulder or for some reassurance or encouragement, a few weeks down the line when I am OBVIOUSLY going to feel like rhubarb and, let's face it, likely to be fairly rubbish as a mummy to the boys. Since I know I will not be likely to make it through the morning sickness without "neglecting" the boys, I feel doomed to failure in her sight. Ugh. I am not sure what to do about that, because we are normally ever so close - Mummy is my best friend. So it makes me feel sad and tense.
Anyway. She then took the phone upstairs to my daddy who was getting dressed. He took the phone and said, "Go on, tell me then!" :) So I said, "I'm pregnant!" and he said that he had woken up that morning and lay in bed, and randomly thought, "When Alice next tells me she's pregnant, what shall I say?" Then he thought, "I'll say, "Congratulations!"" Hehe, funny Daddy! He asked me how long I'd known, and I said I just took a test that morning. He asked when, and I said about an hour ago. He said that's pretty much when he woke up and thought about me telling him I'm pregnant, and he had no idea that I might be! Weeeeiiird!
Well, I'm so happy and excited, and in AWE that God has been pleased to bless us with another baby! This little precious is due July 7th. Again with the "due between the 5th and 10th of the month" thing! All my babies have been due in that window, whatever month they're due in. The age gap is just under 18 months, if I go by my due date, but I usually go past my due date, unless you know, I go ahead and pop my waters 5 weeks early! ;) So the gap is a tad smaller than the ones we're used to (19 months) but yay! I'm so happy!
We are already convinced the baby is a boy, because that's what we felt God was saying when I prayed that time when Nathan was 3 weeks old. That the next baby would be "Benjamin". That will be his name. It's so cool that we are just waiting for Benjamin this time! I will not be calling him Benjamin, or necessarily "him" either, till later on, just in case I am barking waaay up the wrong tree and the baby turns out to be a girl, lol! I am not sure yet if we'll find out the gender - wouldn't that be different for us?!
Just sooo very happy! And praying this little one will stick. And ever so crampy right now.... And understanding more why Nathan has been so very clingy and unsettled for 3 days straight now, seemingly without a reason. Poor baby lamb. He's still my baby! I just have to convince him of that, and boost his confidence with lots of snuggles - all of the boys really.
Now I have to go and update my chart, put a quick message on my FF buddy groups maybe, and then I'm meal-planning and writing a shopping list STRAIGHT AWAY to start the bulk cooking this weekend for the freezer, to help me while I'm morning sick (going by my other pregnancies, that's T minus 16 days and counting!). I'm 3 weeks and 4 days pregnant today! Wheeee! I'll get a new ticker later! I'm so excited! Yayness!
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