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2003-06-10 - 12.02pm��previous entry��next entry
The countdown continues....
One day till the therapy appointment, two days till the hospital appointment, three days (if all goes well) till I can buy my pregnancy tests, 7 days till my period is due, and 17 days till I'm fertile!!! Yes, you are going to see this annoying list until 27th June because I am too excited not to keep on counting! I am getting nervous about the appointments over the next two days, just incase someone could say it's not a good idea to TTC right now. Urgh. It's just a case of getting them over with, because I'm sure everything will be fine, but still.
Thank you Robbi for your guestbook entry :) I knew you'd love the froggy wrap!
Guess what I found when I was doing some serious clearing out in the lounge the other day? Birthday money!!!! My birthday was in February. That gives you some idea of how much the place needs clearing up! Hmmm. Anyway, I found my birthday money from my parents and grandparents, and I get to spend it on anything I want, and what I really want right now is two small froggy diaper wraps (see last entry for photo) and two medium froggy wraps! I went to Natural Babies and asked about international orders, and Colleen (who runs it) is absolutely lovely and YAY, I can get froggy wraps for a really good price (compared with the same kind of wrap in the UK when it's been imported from the US), and the shipping is not expensive :) Plus I am ordering some flannels from One Stop Diaper Shop because they have the cutest flannels EVER right now, and I need soft flannels to make my newborn nappy pads. I am making 20, but I've only made six so far, and I want some good varieties of cute flannels. So yay, happy birthday again to me (!!) and I'm really happy with my presents! Hehe! And if I have any money left over (which I'm not sure about) I'll buy the Tots Bots pack that I mentioned last entry too. Nappy nappy, happy happy.
I had another night of bad dreams last night, but this time it was all vaguely baby related I think. In one dream I had this tiny newborn baby to care for and I had to go somewhere on the train, and I didn't have a clue where I was or where I was going. Pushchairs weren't allowed on the train so I had to padlock the pushchair that the baby was in, to a designated area (!!), and then I didn't know how to carry the baby. People always seem to be staring at me like they are concerned for the baby's welfare in my dreams. I try to look competent and stuff, but my arms are always too weak to pick it up properly without dropping it. I don't know why that always happens. Anyway, I started worrying because I didn't have a sling. I had a rucksack so I put it on my front and put the baby in the bag, with it's head out the top!!! I know, I know, but it's a dream, okay?! So anyway off we went to the station, and I was so tense and anxious about the baby being in the bag. Then I came to a little rise in the ground that I had walked over on the way to the pushchair padlocky place, and I knew it was a little hump in the ground so I did a little hop over it, but on the other side was this enormous hole, like the size and height of a house, and I was just falling down it. I knew I couldn't survive a fall like that, and I prayed to God that he'd save me somehow. Just as I was about to hit the bottom this huge gust of wind blew me so I landed gently :) Anyway, the baby kept slipping down in the rucksack and people were looking at me funny. It was an anxious dream. THEN I had this other really long weird dream, but at the end I was walking in the countryside looking for some help (can't remember why) and suddenly I saw this little boy swimming in a water hole, and he was having fun. Then I saw a massive snake in there with him and he started screaming for help. He turned into a baby snake (?!!) and I was trying to pull him out of the water before the huge snake got near him. I would grab him and pull but he was too slippery and kept slipping back in. It was so awful, I just couldn't get him. I had him so many times but he just kept slipping out of my grasp. And the big snake ate him and only his little backbone was left floating in the water, it was horrible. And then I woke up. Yuck. My dreams are often about not being able to care for a baby, or else really seriously messing things up in that area!! Don't like it.
But other than that, things are going well still!
D'you know what I like? When my husband emails me from work in the middle of busy projects to suggest a baby name. I like how he is getting more excited about having a baby, for some reason it really thrills me. I figured he wouldn't really get excited till maybe we had a positive pregnancy test, or even till the first ultrasound or something, because I've heard that sometimes men take a while to come round to the thrill of it, to feel connected. But the other morning he said he was lying awake in bed and I was still asleep, and he was looking at me and imagining if I was really pregnant, and he just got so excited! So that makes me happy. Also he has started getting kind of nervous and pestery (if that's the right word?!) about some health and safety things about pregnancy. Like cats. Both our parents have cats. Last night, he suddenly got stressy about the safety of visiting them while I'm pregnant. I tried to explain about toxoplasmosis (which is what he was worried about) and how it's safe if you take precautions around cats, but he was kind of annoying about it - he wouldn't really listen to me and it's like he didn't trust that I'd read up so carefully (which I have!). He was saying it wasn't worth the risk, even though I was saying there IS no risk!! I mean, I have changed a cat litter used by two cats for the past 10 years - well, not so much in the last 2 years, but plenty before then. There is almost a complete impossibility that I haven't already had toxoplasmosis and am therefore immune. Really. Almost completely impossible. But even so, if I stay away from cat litters and always wash my hands after handling cats and doing gardening when I'm pregnant, I will be fine anyway - which I totally plan to do. I KNOW this!! Grrr! We already wash our vegetables and fruit well, and I don't like my meat rare anyway. So in the end I had to read to him from 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' before he would accept what I was saying. And tell him that the doctor said the exact same thing to me when I had my pre-conception appointment. Now he's okay with it. But phew, maybe he's gonna be kind of a nervy father-to-be? I guess that's good in that he is really putting the baby's safety first (even now!), but I hope he won't be too stressy with me when I'm pregnant about every little thing, and not take my word for things. Hmmm. But I'm delighted that he's getting so into the whole thing! :)
I think that's it for now, but I'll write again when I have more to say :)
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