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2008-01-13 - 9:28 p.m.��previous entry��next entry
One day old!
Thank you for all the lovely messages and congrats! I am still in hospital with Nathan so it's a lovely bright patch in my day to come and read your messages! Jemma, thanks SO much for the package you've sent! It's so lovely of you and will make all the difference - can't wait for it to arrive. Neil looked and looked but somehow can't find the box of tiny baby and newborn sized clothes in the loft, which is a bit of a concern! He had to go to Tesco in the end and buy some short-sleeved vests and sleepsuits in size "early baby" (5lbs - 7.5lbs) because Nathan was temporarily wearing a premature (up to 5lbs!) sleepsuit from the neonatal unit as we had only 1 sleepsuit for him. Now he has 6 cute little sleepsuits and 6 tiny white vests, which Neil stayed up late for last night, to get them all pre-washed and tumble-dried for this morning - what a sweet love he is! Neil also couldn't resist a lovely fleece dungarees outfit which will be ideal for Nathan to wear home when we go as I hear the weather is horrible and reeeally cold - I have no idea about these things because I left planet earth on Friday (!) and my little 3-bed ward has NO windows! It's an internal room (not nice!) and anyway the beds are screened off from each other by curtains, which have always been drawn closed since I arrived. I kind of miss the outside world but I'm busy enough not to mind about it too much at the moment!! Windows would have been nice though.
Neil also bought a little padded snowsuit type thing with a hood in size "early baby" for the journey home. It's still just tooooo surreal - I can't believe I have an early baby! I can't believe he's here sometimes (it just hits me, esp when reading back my last couple of diary entries before Jan 11th, casually chatting about how I'll be 36 weeks on Sunday (the day after he was born!) and I'll post another belly pic, and I can't believe I'll be 36 weeks pregnant, etc, etc! But most of the time, being isolated in this little hospital world with no windows, it just seems matter-of-fact - he's here, of course he's here, was there really ever a time when he wasn't?
I have felt really fine since the middle of last night, about staying in till Monday (tomorrow, the day they had said would be the earliest we might go home). I don't know why. Jeannie's message helped. I also got to feeling like, well, its been a couple of days already, what's one more now? The boys are doing well at home, and I'm actually really beginning to enjoy the extended one-on-one bonding time with Nathan. I am entering that babymoon zone and just feel completely besotted with him at all times.
He's just so GORGEOUS!! When he popped out of me onto the bed , I had my back to him as I'd given birth on my knees leaning against the raised top end of the bed. I instantly tried to twist/crane round to see him, but couldn't see him properly. I was saying, "I can't see him, I can't see him!" and then when I could - "Ohhh, he's so beautiful! He's so gorgeous!!" I have never gushed like that the instant I saw my own newborn before, but I was just completely BOWLED OVER by Nathan from the moment I saw him - not that I didnt love my other children from before they were even born, but it has just seemed so strong this time around.
I am getting nervous that the system will time out and I'll lose this entry so I'm going to post it now. I'm GAGGING to post photos, and I amtaking them, but will need to wait till I can upload them onto the computer when I get home. Will update again when I can.
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