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2003-09-21 - 11.45pm��previous entry��next entry
Cycle Day 9 of Cycle 4 - grapefruit juice and other stuff
Another new baby, another new baby, woohoo!! Congratulations to Sam on the safe arrival of Marlee Nicole, born at 4.56pm on September 18th, and she weighed 8lbs 2oz! :) Oooh I love a baby story! :) And thanks Sam for your guestbook entry from when you were still pregnant (!!) - not that you'll have the time or energy to read this now, but oh well! :) Yay, a new baby!! And thanks also to April and Louise for your lovely guestbook messages. Louise your advice didn't offend me at all, I really appreciate what you said :)
I can't believe it's Cycle Day 9 ALREADY!!!! I haven't got tons to report, but I thought I'd update you guys on a few little things.
Firstly, I have been drinking grapefruit juice since CD3 or 4, which is rumoured to help you produce an increase in quality and quantity of fertile cervical mucus. Hmmm. Well I have been wondering about it as I've been hearing of it here and there, and then Sam mentioned it as something that worked for her. And then I had a huge freak-out moment when I checked all my charts for the whole year and realised that I never ever have any EWCM (Egg White Cervical Mucus). Ever. Only watery. Isn't this nice? Aren't you glad you read my diary?!! ;) Anyway, Fertility Friend say that watery is also fertile, but obviously it's EWCM that's the ideal stuff. And I started to get all paranoid that maybe that was why I am not conceiving yet. Ahhh I really need to chiiiiilllll. I posted a freaking-out message on one of my TTC boards and got a reply saying, "CALM DOWN WOMAN!!!!!!!" with a ton of winking faces next to it! That made me laugh so much that I seemed to stop and see the fuss I'm making, and since then I have been a lot calmer about it all again.
Soooo I have decided to try the ole grapefruit juice. I will be able to tell if it works for me pretty soon, but actually I have to say, I have had much more CM than normal since my period finished, loads more. So that's pretty good for a start! We'll see if I ever get any EWCM. One of the ladies at the TTC boards says you don't need EWCM to get pregnant. So she's probably right and I shouldn't worry. I just want everything to be "optimal" or perfect, that's all.
I have made more nappies, but in the last few days I haven't been doing that. I think it was a burst of nappy-making, and now I am having a lull. There will be another burst though, I have too many cute fabrics not to! I ordered some more cute flannels from America - just a few half-yard cuts so that I could get the cheapest shipping and not break the bank on fabric (which would seem very bad since I have soooo much fabric for making nappies already!). So those should be winging their way to me as we speak. And I also won a maternity bra at eBay. I have bids on two more, of a more realistic size this time!
And umm.... I can't think of anything else. I guess I am coming into my fertile phase now. I am charting temps and CM and cervix position as of a couple of days ago (over there in my Fertility Friend link if you want to see), and today I have watery CM so I am wondering if I am going to ovulate fairly early this cycle. Otherwise it's early for fertile CM, so hmmm. A short cycle would be fine by me. Morning BD'ing isn't quite going to plan yet, but I should be ovulating by the end of the week so the plan will be in action during the week. Aaaargh I sometimes hate writing stuff this personal, but hey ho, I'll just be all matter-of-fact about it like everyone else is who are trying to conceive, and it'll be okay! It's only because I know people read my diary who aren't constantly writing about their CM and timing sex, etc - I find it fine to write this stuff on TTC boards or places where only women who are in the same boat will read it!! But oh well. You guys don't mind, do you? Good! So I don't mind either.
I really can't believe I'll be back in the two week wait again by the weekend. So weird how the time goes. But I feel a LOT more relaxed about it this cycle, better than the last one even. So far. I think the last week is gonna be difficult no matter what, so I'm not going to fight against it this time. I have a more healthy mindset somehow, like I am more interested in just having sex (aaahh the personal stuff again) than making a baby, and I am keen to get on with my life and hope a baby is made in the process of living, if you know what I mean. I couldn't detach myself enough from the baby-focus to feel that way before this cycle, so I am delighted to have made a bit of progress in that area.
Anyway I will update again soon I think. There's less to say when I am not obsessing too much about it! Which is a good thing I suppose. Guess what? I contacted my pregnant friend. She sent me ultrasound pictures, and first I had a whole "moment" about that, but then I felt so fed up with all this bitterness that I prayed and asked God to supply the feelings if I made the first move out of this whole rutt I've been in, and I sent a reply, and you know what? I noticed a huuuge change in how I feel about my friend. Not all peachy, but there's no sting anymore. God is so good. And faithful. And I am so pleased to be less horrid than I was.
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