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2003-12-30 - 1.34pm��previous entry��next entry
Update from France - Cycle Day 26...
Hello, here I am in France! :) It's so nice to be with my parents again at last! We arrived last night. I was getting all ready to write a miserable entry but then I read Katie's guestbook entry and now I feel much more cheery! Thank you Katie!
Today I am on CD26, and I'm 12 days past ovulation. My period is due the day after tomorrow. Or I suppose possibly tomorrow, if I have a 12 day luteal phase this time. Hmmm. I have been feeling much less optimistic about things over the last couple of days, and this morning I woke up crampy and like I could literally feel hormones rushing through my veins! I have been soooooooooooo (can't describe) irritable today and yesterday. But I think it might even be worse today. Neil leaned over and kissed me good morning, in bed today, and I felt like yelling, "Keep back!!" I feel like wearing one of those signs round my neck like you see on the gates to people's houses - "Beware of hormonal woman!" Seriously. I am so snappy. It feels like nothing I can push down, and it makes me a bit sad that I'm so on edge, because I'm with my family who I rarely see but love LOADS, and I don't want to spoil things for anyone. I am trying not to. And at least I've told everyone I'm hormonal and snappy, but that I'm trying my best to be nice.
Oh yeah, and the crampiness. That really gets me down because I feel like it must be my period on it's way. I guess I had a LOT more than I realised, resting on this particular cycle. There are quite a few reasons I am desperately hoping it's "the one". We are with family. It's all romantic because it's about to be New Year's Day. That same day will be exactly one year that I have been keeping this diary. It will give us a September baby, which would be lovely. I had this thing about being pregnant before the end of the year, since this was the year we had hoped to conceive, etc. And obviously, we just want to be pregnant. And I don't want a period/PMS for the entire of our rare visit with my parents. If I am not pregnant it will suck more than anything else I can think of (right now). So yeah, that was my miserable entry.
But yay, a glimmer of hope because someone thinks my chart is triphasic!!! Yay! Even if I'm not pregnant, that is so nice to hear! :) I'm silly. My temps are still high and all that. I just have to wait and hope. I have pregnancy tests here, because unless my period just makes it reeeally obvious that it's about to arrive, I know I will want to test the day it's due, because I'd love a positive test when I'm with family to share it with. Of course that makes it harder if I have a negative test, but oh well.
Okay, lunch is ready now so I have to go. There are cute toddlers all bundled in ski suits (it's freezing here) out in the lanes with their parents, picking up sticks and stuff. My parents are getting clucky. They talk about cute babies that they saw in the bakery last week, etc. I am so so so so longing to give them a grandchild :(
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