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2003-08-08 - 1.27pm��previous entry��next entry
Day 19 of the second TTC cycle
Thanks so much to Lizzy and Kelli for your very lovely guestbook entries! :)
I am in a state of aaaaargh these days! But then it is the final week of waiting, and that was definitely the worst last time. Today is Cycle Day 19, and I am 7 days past ovulation. Yesterday my temperature dipped quite a bit and today it has risen again. I knoooow this could be nothing, but it is also a sign of an embryo implanting in the wall of my uterus (which happens between 5 and 10 days past ovulation if you're pregnant). Although I could get a dip like that and still not be pregnant. I haven't had any spotting, which is another potential implantation sign, but then loads of pregnant women don't either. Aaaargh. See what I mean? I am going way too crazy looking for signs. I have others, like my cervix position (which is allegedly pretty promising for pregnancy), but then I didn't check that last cycle so I have nothing to compare it with. But it all looks kind of good. I hope, I hope.
On the other hand, I am really scared to get my hopes up. This month means more to me than all the others right now, and not just because this is where I'm at right now. It's because it's the one we've planned all this time, and because I don't want to be so disappointed on our wedding anniversary (when I'm due to test next week), and so on. Plus I just really want to be pregnant.
Neil thinks I am pregnant. He said God has just been answering all our prayers lately, so he feels really confident that this one has been answered too. I hope so. I am quite crampy at the moment, particularly today and yesterday, but I am looking so hard that I am probably getting all confused with IBS or something! I don't know. I feel pretty crampy though. That's a good sign. Apparantly cramps are really common very early in pregnancy, because the uterus swells slightly and the ligaments supporting it have to stretch out, etc. I never get period cramps till just before a period, and mine's not due till Thursday or Friday of next week. I've had a lot of heartburn at night as well, but again, when my IBS is bad enough it will do that for me too. This morning I woke up ravenous at 5.20, had to eat cereal to prevent a hole being bored right through my stomach wall!! Then I woke up at 8.15 feeling queasy. Hmmm. You see what I mean? I am terrible for symptom-spotting! It could all mean absolutely nothing, like the cereal probably made me feel yucky. *sigh*
I am desperate for next Thursday to get here FAST!! The last week drags so slowly, and worse if you really think you could be pregnant. I just want to know. Last cycle I wasn't feeling pregnant in the last week in the end, but I don't know what to think this time. I am trying to make sure I keep next cycle in my thoughts, just because it gives me a bit of perspective that I might not have conceived this time round. It opens my mind up to the idea of trying again already, and I need that to help it not hurt so much if I'm not pregnant this time.
Well I guess I haven't got much more to say, just more of the same really, which won't be interesting to you or helpful to me!
I got my Tigger maternity nightie in the post and it's soft and gorgeous, I'm so pleased with it! Today I FINALLY got some Malden Mills windpro fleece from America in the post - I ordered it through a fabric co-op online in JANUARY!!!!! It's taken ages to fill up the order and get it milled and then wait for it to arrive surface mail on a boat, and then get cut up and posted to me, but it's finally here! I have one yard of bright lime coloured windpro fleece and two yards of lavender. This stuff is the ultimate fabric for fleece all-in-one nappies or fleece nappy covers/wraps. I am going to get right on it and make a couple of fleece wraps this afternoon, to the Tots Bots Redrap pattern. I only know how to make a size one, which is from 8-20lbs, so I'd like to figure out a pattern for a newborn, and also for a size two - up to potty training. I think it means I'll have to buy a size 0 and size 2 Redrap to nick the patterns, but I don't really want to pay for Redraps that I won't need. Hmmm. But for now I'll get cracking on the size 1's!! Yay! Nappy-making keeps me busy in a baby-focused kind of way, it channels all the baby-yearning stuff that would otherwise be driving me crazy!
Last night, to channel some of those feelings that were driving both Neil and I to distraction (!!), we watched an old tape of the TV documentary, "Child of our time", which was soooo interesting. We've seen it before, but it's worth having on tape to see again. It's about how babies develop and how their brains work, and what kind of stimulation is good for them and what can hold them back. I'm gonna play womb-music when I'm pregnant. I'm not trying to make a baby Einstein, but the babies who had had womb-music had a good start, according to the study. At 12 months of age, having not been exposed to their womb music since they were in the womb, all of the babies could clearly recognise and remember their womb music when it was played. They had really cool ways of finding out if the babies could remember, it's a great programme. Anyway, the babies also went very calm and still when their womb-music was played, so I would like to try it if only for something that can calm my baby when they are in a complete state at 2am or something! Anyway, that was fun to do last night, but it does leave me longing all the more. Oh well, the sun is still going up and down and up and down, so that means time is definitely passing and we'll get to next Thursday eventually!
I made another one of those nappies:
And that's about all folks.
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