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2008-08-24 - 10.35pm��previous entry��next entry
9DPO - hmmm, what to make of it all today?!
NINE days past ovulation today! This morning was frustrating because the same thing happened as yesterday - Nathan woke an hour early, and then I slept till an hour later than I usually temp! Tsk! I had very similar temps to yesterday and did the temperature corrector, but you know? I think I am going to disregard the early temps for both days, and just use the temp corrector for both the late temps (as in, take the 36.8 and the 36.7 that I had this morning, and use the temperature corrector to adjust them to my usual time to make them more accurate). I feel better about that, and like it will be more accurate that way. Also, it relieves me of the annoyance that both days my early temps were taken when I woke cold and out of my covers! Tsk! That nearly always skews my temp, as does mouth breathing. But I wasn't mouth breathing at least! :)
Okay, I have been and done that now, and my chart looks really quite different! The temperature corrector made yesterday's temp 36.66 - quite a jump up from my flat temps of 36.4! And today's turned out to be 36.57 - still above the flat temps. Both temps should not be relied on too heavily though. I SO HOPE tomorrow is a normal wake time, to avoid all this palava! If he does wake early, I am going to purposely AVOID temping early, and only temp at the later time when I wake, and then use the corrector. When I've had to do that on the odd day or two in past charts, the temp corrector has come out more accurate in keeping with the other temps on my chart, than entering the late or early temps, so that reassures me this time too.
Well, last night I felt sooooo horrible in my tummy and had a headache too, which I wrote about here. I just had awful wind (somewhat embarrassing, but nothing is hidden here, lol!). I read in my pregnancy diary that I had the exact same windy, queasy horrible tummy (and IBS) in every single one of my pregnancies, AND in every one of my chemical pregnancies in the two weeks after ovulation. I hadn't realised that it was common to all of them before, so I guess that could be a pregnancy sign for me this time. I know it isn't my usual before a period, but I probably have had it sometimes (maybe? I'm guessing, and can't be bothered to look up chart notes any longer! I just want to write my diary now!).
Anyway, I felt soooooo nauseous last night with it all, and had some diarrhoea (sorry) before bed, but none since. The discomfort and nausea continued today and I felt sick and headachy any time I was awake with Nathan in the night, but by then I could easily recognise the whole thing as IBS. It's so nice because I used to get it ALL the time - it felt odd when I didn't have symptoms. And now it's like, "Whoooaaa, what's going on with my body?! Am I ill?!" so that when I really see how much better my IBS. The trigger for improvement was having babies :) It has improved a lot since I had Arthur. But I do get more of it in the first half of my pregnancies, which is no fun!
I felt quite a bit better this afternoon and although I still had a bit of a headache, I didn't feel so nauseous. I ate a big roast dinner (though making the gravy I had to hold my breath because I couldn't take the smell - hmmm?!) and was feeling hungry again 2 hours later! I have been hungry a lot today, but NOTHING seemed good to eat. I ended up eating sugary cereal for breakfast and lunch - I know, naughty! But it was all I could face, and I ate LOTS of it, and hey - it's packed with added vitamins and iron! :)
Thank you so much for all the comments about my test photo!!! I am SO glad so many of you could see it because I thought I was going crazy. Al's interpretation particularly encouraged me, hehe! ;)
So today I tested again first thing this morning, and I DEFINITELY see a faintly positive pregnancy test, but the line is greyish and ever so faint, not so much pink. It's stronger than yesterday's though, although Neil still says he can't really see it and would rather wait and see what happens (so infuriating!!!)! He does look at it from the "right" angle and says he can definitely see "what you're looking at" but he won't confirm anything properly!
When I took the test, I sat in the bathroom and watched it like a hawk, haha! I know you're supposed to go away and do something calmly while the test "cooks" but I can never do that! The line came up earlier than yesterday, around the 5 minute mark or just after. The test says to read at 5 minutes and discard after 10, so I think it's a valid line. BUT, it is so incredibly faint. It's thick and fills the right space up, but is so greyishly faded and hard to see. I could see it without trying, compared with yesterday.
The annoying thing is, I took fifteen (yes, I know) photos of it in different lights and only a few came out right. And then I couldn't figure out how I got the fisheye effect yesterday! Tsk! And then when I uploaded the photo it looked basically like a negative test, and that was exasperating because it doesn't look like that in real life! So I thought, never mind, I will get yesterday's test stick and hold the two together to see what difference there is. But, lo and behold, yesterday's test stick has vanished into oblivion. Seriously. I have been going crazy (unnecessarily so, I realise, but for some reason it has driven me out of my TREE that I couldn't find it!) all day trying to find it. I have tidied cluttered spaces, searched every room, rummaged through the rubbish bins, etc. It's absolutely not here, and we haven't thrown it away, so I can't understand it! It's so infuriating!
But, never mind - I decided I would just take a couple more pictures of my test stick and put those online. I took the pics, and then transferred them from my camera to the computer. When I tried to view them, it told me that the files were unreadable and that they may have been damaged! What?!?! And of course, I had deleted them from the camera as part of the transfer. *sigh* Right at that moment, I suddenly felt like God was telling me to STOP. Just to STOP obsessing over my test sticks, and manipulating photos, hehe! I felt strongly that God was saying, "It's irrelevant. Stop doing it." I don't know why. I thought maybe it was because I was going to get my period anyway? Or because it was just a wrong attitude to be obsessing so. Very likely the latter! So I stopped, and thus you have no photo of today's test. I don't even know what to chart it as - negative or positive?! And I can't ask you guys because I can't show you what it looks like! Aaargh!
I am nervous to call it positive, especially with Neil saying he wants to just see what happens next and not put too much on that test. But I definitely see a line, so I think it is a positive test. I will call it maybe-positive for now, and not chart it at all till I find out what happens tomorrow, I think.
Today I have spots on my face (not my norm) and WEIRDLY SOFT SKIN today (thank you for noticing, Megan! ;) ), a definite pregnancy symptom for me, and I have charted it, yippee! I have also had some strange pulling sensations like a string is running pretty much centrally in my abdomen, from just below my tummy button (quite high then) into the pit of my abdomen, and I keep feeling stretching sensations there like "it" is being drawn up. This is very pregnant of me I guess, even if I end up getting my period after all. It's certainly not something I am familiar with.
Now, here is the thing that has thrown me a bit tonight:
The boys were in bed early tonight, as Matthew wouldn't nap today and everyone was tired, and we were actually organised about it (!!), so they were all asleep by 7.30pm. I got straight into the shower a bit before Arthur went to sleep, and went to the loo before I got in. I am checking my CM a lot lately, wondering if my period is coming, or what's going on! I will spare you the exact details of what I'm finding, hehe! But I have been wondering about pregnancy because lately I'm finding CM that reminds me of previous pregnancies at this stage, and the formation of the mucus plug during early pregnancy.
Anyway, so I checked, and that's what I found again. Then I got in the shower. Near the end of my shower I suddenly discovered a little pink bleeding (or CM, I couldn't tell because of all the water), so I freaked out slightly and got out to wipe and check. It was pinkish red CM, not lots of it, but enough to make me think, "Oh that's it then, it must be my period starting." I had no cramps or feelings of my period arrving as such. But then I suddenly remembered that I had a similar experience with Nathan's pregnancy (at 10 and 11DPO, I checked!) where I had pink/brown spotting which made me think the same thing. Only, I never spot unless I'm pregnant, ever. That's what made me so excited that time! And I was right then :) The next day I had pink spotting and then RED when I wiped, but it was still part of the implantation spotting. I also was terribly crampy for most of the time before I tested positive (and after too) with Nathan, but I haven't really had that this time, so I don't know if that means anything. Anyway, so that made me think that I should probably just put a pantliner on and keep an eye.
About 15 minutes after my shower I started to feel a bit crampy, but not a usual feeling, more like a broad (right across my pelvis) pressure bearing down somewhat. That didn't seem like a great sign. And it has persisted. And I have backache low down, but not cramp. Just sore back, like I've strained it or something. I sat on the sofa and started this diary entry and updated my chart, and if I sat slightly sideways with my legs curled up beside me, the pressurey discomfort felt like... I know this will sound weird, but like a tennis ball pressing down inside me slightly. I have also had the tennis ball pressure feeling a couple of times earlier in the day, when lying down in bed to breastfeed Nathan. But not with pain or cramping as such.
Okay so it's now 10.30pm and thus 3 hours since I noticed the spotting, and I'm a bit crampy but really nothing periody, for me. I guess that could be normal as far as my last period went though.
BUT, my pantliner is still white as snow!!! So I'm cautiously excited, I guess! I am sure that I should have more to show for a period by now. When I wipe though, I do find pink CM, and the last time I checked, it was more pinkish brown than pinkish red, so that's a good sign too, isn't it?
But I don't know. I am aware of some cramping and slight pressure too, so I just don't know what to think. Maybe it's a super light period only just starting very slowly?!?! Time will tell, I guess. I will see what my temp is in the morning, although I will probably know for sure if I have really got my period by then. I need to find my hot water bottle for the night just in case it IS my period! :S And painkillers. And then I think I will go to bed. If it IS my period then it's odd about the tests with lines... I have not had false positives before so I am thinking chemical pregnancy. I DO get a lot of those, it seems (this would be #4 (or 5?) and counting).
So I hope this isn't too up-in-the-air-ish! I wish I could find out one way or the other right now! I will just have to go to bed and see what happens. If it's my period then my temp will confirm that in the morning by dropping like a stone.
If I'm not pregnant then it gives Nathey-noodle another month of glorious Mummy-milk before it dries up due to pregnancy! I have been having pangs about that today and so I'll be happy about that :) I'm perfectly content either way, because God is in control, not me, and that's the way I want it now. He is sovereign, and I trust him completely. Thank you Lord!
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