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2007-05-03 - 12.45am��previous entry��next entry
Update at 9DPO (at last!)
I could absolutely CRY! I have just spent an hour and 50 minutes typing continually as fast as I could, and now it's 11.48pm and I am feeling giddy and queasy with tiredness, and I was SO near the end of the entry - I just typed, "What else?..." - you know, pretty much the last paragraph or so of like FIFTY MILLION (you know my entries!), and then Neil looked over and said, "Don't forget to press save from time to time!" and I freaked out thinking that he knew something I didn't about the laptop, and that it might crash on me at any minute, so I frantically highlighted all my text in the lil entry box, and then pressed Ctrl and C for copy.... and there in my box appeared.... THE LETTER C!!! Allllllll that %$&*!$& typing LOST because the &%*$*%!! laptop has some other key in the place of the Ctrl key as I know it from our computer keyboard!! Neil feels SO bad, poor thing! It's not his fault at all!! But I HAVE to get an entry up, and now I will have to stay up super late to get it done, never mind feeling too exhausted. I don't know how to make the things I wrote shorter. I am rubbish at writing short entries! All the little waffly bits MEAN something to me and I don't know which bits to miss out to make the entry shorter. Ugh.
I CAN'T spend another 2 hours though, I simply can't. So I'll have to find a way of shortening it. Bullet points might help me, so I'll start with that and go from there:
* Diaryland has been down to non-gold members for the whole day yesterday, so I couldn't update when I SO needed to!
* I eventually wrote several paragraphs at the top of my FF chart instead for my few die-hard chart stalkers (!!) who I knew would be checking my chart daily no matter whether I updated here or not! Thanks for the guestbook messages on that "entry"! It was reassuring to read them as I wasn't sure if anyone would see my FF "entry".
* Today I was surprised to find THREE emails saying, "Your gold membership is all set up!", and even more surprised to discover that Nicola (I so hope I got the right Nicola!) had bought me 3 months gold membership for this diary AND for arthursmummy, so I could update!! And then the other email was from someone who left a note but didn't sign their name - another 3 months gold membership at this diary because they didn't know if anyone else would have seen my FF entry, and they wanted me to be able to put them out of their suspense!! HOW LOVELY!!! I am so bowled over that anyone would buy me gold membership so they could read my updates! Thank you so much girls!!! It's ever so sweet of you! Please tell me who you are, Anonymous Gift-Giving Person! I am assuming you're a girl, because, let's face it - I'm pretty sure my readers are 99.8% female!! What man wants to read: "Oh, my temperature is 0.0001 degrees lower than yesterday, but not as low as the day before! And when I checked my cervix, the goop up there was fractionally different in consistency and amount than a hour earlier!! Oooooh I can't wait to have a baaaaybeeeee!!!" Hahaha! ;)
I am so glad to have gold membership, and so grateful for the gift of it!! I get nervous about all the precious stuff written here and how it might all get lost one day if some glitch happens (or something!), even though it's not likely. With gold membership you get the option to save a back up of your diary to your computer, so I'll do that asap! Yay! I last did that when I briefly had gold membership before, but Arthur was about 5 months old then, so there is a TON of stuff worth saving since then! Thank you both so so so very much!!! xxx
Okay, cycle stuff! I must be quick, but I want to detail it as much as before, if I can... I'll copy and paste some from the FF entry:
"My temps are very strange since ovulation. They are very flat (even lost my thermometer after my 6DPO temp and used my other BBT, and STILL got a flat temp!), and now at 8DPO I have a huge spike.
[Okay, just butting in here to add more about this before pasting the next paragraph from FF! I am so excited that when I tested with a different thermometer (with 2 decimal places, no less!), I got 36.68! Still a flat temp with my several days running of 36.7! I suddenly heart my BBT so I've been using it to temp since, even though I have found my other thermometer now. Actually, I am crazy obsessed (really?!) and temp with BOTH every morning, and then have to agonize over which of the (almost identical) temps to use. *sigh* Anyway, then yesterday morning I had a mega temp jump!! I was so surprised, though I felt so hot and internally "burny" (not in an ill way) that I guess it wasn't totally unexpected. My temp was 36.95 on the BBT! Something to note: I never temp that high except for my pregnant cycles. I DID use to temp that high maybe once or twice in my LP before having kids, but not since (unless pregnant!!).]
My cervix is high, tight shut (though it wasn't a few days ago), and just like my previous pregnancy cycles. I had some "pokey" twingey cramps inside my left hip at 5DPO over late pm and then crampiness there during the evening - nothing since, except increasing general crampiness (like AF (forum-speak for "Aunt Flo" - that is, my period) but milder). My implantations over my 5 experiences so far have been between 4 and 7DPO (4, 7, 6, 5, and 4) - early, but that is my norm.
[Butting in again. My cervix has changed since my last entry! It's being a bit pregnant really. Which is exciting, no? :) Also, I was reading the "waiting to test" board at FF (somebody stop me!) a couple of nights ago, and saw a post about implantation pain, and what it felt like. I was interested/excited to read that apart from cramping, most of the specific descriptions of implantation pain were a sharp twinging, almost like electric shooting pains. That is a great description of my 5DPO twinges inside my left hip! Some described the sensations on one side as well. The rest of the descriptions were of a "pulling" or "tugging" sensation, like a crampiness but not, sort of. I didn't know what that would feel like, as I couldn't imagine it properly.
Today, I was driving the boys and me to Fellowship Group, and as I pulled up to some traffic lights, I started to feel a distinct tugging sort of cramp on my left side, the same place as the twinges! It immediately made me think of the FF post because it was a perfect description of how I felt, and I instantly understood then the description of "tugging" or "pulling" crampiness felt. It lasted maybe less than a minute and that's all I've noticed, but it got me excited!! Given my normal implantation times (I am beginning to REALLY think I have probably got fallopian tubes that are on the short side of average - I did waffle endlessly in my original entry tonight about this, with stuff I'd found online about it, etc, but no time now) I would not expect to have implantation as LATE as 9DPO (today), but the 5DPO twinges seem pretty exciting!]
I am tired out, feeling like a furnace on the inside, sort of burny, and have had a weird super-increased appetite since ovulation. That's just WEIRD though.
Other weird things: Constipated suddenly, even on the regular stuff I'm prescribed to help that (which always works). Baked beans on toast today tasted weird - the baked beans tasted metallic and not sweet enough. Crampiness comes and goes, and sometimes feels like a distinct ball pressing in a burny sort of way low down in the pit of my abdomen. I felt that way before, with Matthew's pregnancy I think. Getting low blood sugar type feelings WAY before lunch and dinner today, and the shaky dizzy thing is taking an age to clear up after finally getting to eat. Have felt queasy today, mostly mostly in the pm. Very mild though. Gassy and bloated, just like all my other pregnancies (chemicals and the boys) - more so than usual.
POAS (peed-on-a-stick!) at 8DPO today and wondered if I saw the slightest line. Not a "real" line, enough to call it a BFP, but like a shadow of a pink stripe down the middle of the white blankness that is supposed to be the pink line - does that make sense?! I had to practically ruin my eyesight squinting, to see it! ;)
[THIS is what I sooooo wanted to write about yesterday! And the temp rise! Tsk. And I wrote a ton about it in the original entry here this evening, but I just haven't got time again now :( Anyway, the above says it all really. I kept the test and I still see a line, though it's really not there. But there. But not. You know?!]
I must be CRAZY to be obsessing like this and even thinking anything might come of this cycle! I'm going to look pretty silly when AF shows as usual, with the loooowww chances this cycle. FF did register the intercourse but gave me a low chance (mind you, with Matthew I got low chance and it didn't even register the BD (four days before ovulation!)).
Will see if my temp is still high tomorrow (9DPO - longest LP yet since Matthew! Not including last cycle's chem pg) and pee on another stick if it is. Can't help myself now I have a pack of TEN of those babies!! ;)
Ohhhkay, so that was my FF update yesterday evening. Today, I had a temp drop, but because the previous temp was so high, today's still hasn't gone down as far as the flat temps - I got 36.78 on the BBT this morning. If I get another temp higher than the flat temps, FF will call my chart triphasic! And that has only happened to me when I've been pregnant. I KNOW it happens aplenty in non-pregnant cycles too, but statistically if your chart is triphasic you are more likely to be pregnant than not, and in my experience that is definitely the case. So... I am kind of nervous to test in the morning! I have no idea what to expect.
I am 9DPO - go me! If this ISN'T a pregnancy cycle, I am so excited that my LP is looking like it's nearing a normal length!!! It needs to be at least 10 days for that (my norm before having Arthur was 12-13 days) and that means not getting my period till 11DPO. I will be so excited if I make it to that! Also, if I don't, I get to start on the Vitamin B6 supplements again to help lengthen my LP! Yay! Neil has said I can :) We're really aiming for July to TTC now, which is only the month after next!! Woohoo!
Anyway, back to the obsessiveness - I tested this morning because my temp was still high, even with the drop. I HAD to pee at 5.30am, and couldn't wait any longer, so the test had to have 2nd morning urine a while later. Not ideal, especially at such an early stage. I couldn't bear the suspense any longer than 9.30am so only 4 hours of wee saved up - is that enough? I had a definite negative, though I did try to convince myself that something was there, but it wasn't in the end!
This afternoon I hadn't had chance to pee since that test, and after almost 6 hours I was overcome by the temptation of the box of 8 remaining tests (all practically hanging out of the box and beckoning to me!), so I tested again. I really thought I saw a fainter-than-faint line again like yesterday's, but really I am not sure that anything is there. Oh the squinting and boggling that my poor eyes have done today! I think I have practically changed my glasses prescription with today's ridiculous shenanigans! ;) The interesting thing is, I waited till the latest test was well old and dried, and then laid the three tests together - the 8DPO one from yesterday was immediately noticable as having a line. This morning's was a blank, but with maybe a shadowy line where there should be a pink one - evaporation I presume? This afternoon's test had a little something more than this morning's but less than yesterday's. But all THREE were really pretty much stark white tests, honestly! Except that you can tell the 8DPO one apart from the others, and pick it out easily when you drop all three on the kitchen floor in your excitement (sigh). I don't know if they're all evaporation lines or what, since they're all really old now. I just thought it was interesting to see if they all aged the same, or if any retained the "somethings" that I thought I saw on them from before (esp. yesterday's).
I am going to see what my temp is tomorrow and test again if it's still high. I will TRY to hold my pee overnight, though I am going twice a night at the moment - interesting in itself, but I am still drinking more than I used to so I am presuming that's all it is.
I am crampy today as the other days, but a weird burny "ball" type of cramp that's very mild most of the time. Not normal period cramps really, though sometimes it does feel that way too.
My appetite isn't so extreme these last 2 days. I feel more queasy and not much like eating, but then I am also bloated and feeling yucky with that, which might be the cause. Bloating for me can be a pregnancy thing though. But also not. I DO still get giddy/shaky/more queasy if I don't eat quite frequently though. I don't make it to normal mealtimes without feeling that way these last few days.
I checked my cervix tonight and it's still high and tight shut, and I also found EWCM!!! What?! I don't know whether to chart that, as it will only make my red lines on my chart go all annoying and dotted, and I don't want to see that! The chart will think I might be fertile and it'll get all confused - tsk! I can't think what to chart for that just yet. Maybe I'll leave it blank for now?
What else? (hooray, we've reached that stage of the entry again! Now just DON'T press a random button that deletes the entry, whatever you do Alice!)
I asked Arthur if he thought Mummy and Daddy should have another baby, and he said, "Oh yes! That would be love-wee!" I said, "Are you sure? Would you really like to have another tiny baby in the house all the time?!" and he said thoughtfully, "I think we sood have another baby girl." (!!!) - to which I responded, "What should we call her, d'you think?" And he thought hard and said, "Hmmm, I think we sood call her... Mashew!!" and looked very excited about his idea, bless him! I explained that we already had a Matthew and an Arthur, so he plainly stated that our baby girl should be called, "Grandoug" (my grandfather's name for us all to call him by!) Hehe!.... "This is my daughter, Grandoug..." Nooo, I don't think so! ;)
Okay I am 100% sure that I've missed a couple of things, but I'm SO tired (another thing that's unusual lately, just in how physical it is - but that is normal for me right before a period too), and it's really late, so I MUST go. Thank you so much for the gold membership gifts again!!! And for eagerly awaiting an update - hearing that always makes me feel so special! :) I will try to update tomorrow as soon as I can, but probably not before mid-pm when the boys (hopefully!) nap - Arthur didn't today, so we'll see! Otherwise it will be evening after they've gone to sleep. If I test positive I'll either try to update here earlier (somehow!) or else not update the test on my chart till I get chance to write an entry later. But I'll chart the temp at naptime if I get chance - that's quick so I should manage it!
No sign of my period coming yet, so we'll see. It's weird waiting and not having a CLUE what to expect from day to day! I'm amazed I'm 9DPO with high temps and doing what I'm doing, really!
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