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2005-08-25 - 8.12pm��previous entry��next entry
8 DPO and wondering....
Woohoo, 8DPO!!! No sign of my period again today (remember I am just thankful each day that I am getting a longer luteal phase at the moment!!) and my temp this morning was another "highest yet", so that gives a good likelihood that my period will not show today. I don't really feel like it will though anyway, so that's encouraging. If I get through today without it showing, it will be my longest luteal phase since having Arthur! Yaaay! After today, each extra day will be a bonus, and I hope to get to 10 or 11 days past ovulation. Obviously I'd like it even MORE if I got a positive pregnancy test! :) I am just so overjoyed that my temps are high. My progesterone must be okay at last if my temps are that high. Praise God!
Well thank you for all the nice messages and notes!!!! I was beginning to feel like nooobody was going to be excited for me (cue violins...!) but then I was sooo happy to see your excited messages!!!! Yay! Thank you for sharing this with me :) Mallory, I still remember your dream, and now it seems a bit uncanny, because if I AM pregnant this cycle I would be due in early May (somewhere between the 2nd and the 9th, depending on when I actually ovulated). I had never considered the name April for a daughter of mine, but how weird would it be if I AM pregnant, it was a girl, and she came a couple of weeks early.... in April! :)
I'm also soooo glad to see that some of you enjoyed my birth story!! It took me HOURS to write! Thanks for leaving me messages about that :) They made me smile such a lot! xx
If my temp is still high tomorrow I think I will pee on another stick. I want to rule out ovulation on CD22 this time! I would be 14DPO tomorrow if I had ovulated that day, and my chart would be triphasic. After that one is ruled out, the next one would probably be the current ovulation date, so I will just do the normal 2WW (hopefully it'll last two weeks anyway!) and see what happens.
Did I mention yesterday that I had tomato soup for lunch? Just a normal Heinz cream of tomato soup. And bread and butter. I have that for lunch maybe once a week. But yesterday it tasted sooooo weird, I didn't even enjoy it. Nothing has tasted weird except that though, only the soup. It just tasted almost sour and metallic, as though the recipe called for sugar and someone left it all out by mistake. It was really strange-tasting. And yet I also knew the soup was fine, so it was just me. Which is.... weird? Encouraging? I don't know!
I have been more easily weepy and felt emotional about little things today and a bit over the last couple of days too. But more so today. TV soaps are making me cry again, and I don't think that happens to me much unless I'm pregnant. Or really hormonal before a period, come to think of it. Hmmm.
Today I ran out of Vitamin B6 capsules, so I put Arthur in the pushchair and we walked the 15 minute walk to the chemist to buy some more. I take this walk with him quite a lot because it is the nearest half-decent local walk here, and it goes past a small park which we can stop in if it's not raining. I wore my usual shoes for the walk. Before I was even halfway to the chemist, my heels hurt from the shoes rubbing. I had socks on and everything though, it was odd. By the time I got home it was paaaaainful, and I have a big blister on each heel. I know, I know, I'm just jumping on anything out of the ordinary, but isn't that strange?! My usual shoes (never have any problems with them), comfortable socks, our usual walk route and length of walk.... The only thing I can think of that might have made my heels blister is that my skin is different, which I know anyway from how it has felt over the last couple of days. This morning I was starting to doubt my clues. I was starting to think it's all in my head that I can FEEL different skin and so on. But blisters speak for themselves, don't they? Something is definitely different with me this week, and it's definitely physical and not mental. Okay so it's probably LARGELY mental too (!!), but still. I am not imagining all of it! Which encourages me a lot :)
The only thing that comes with all this hope and encouragement that I'm nervous about, is the crushing disappointment that I'm surely setting myself up for if I am not pregnant. I hope I won't be too disappointed. I am glad to have some "toys" for next cycle to perk me up, like the OPKs I bought and so on.
What else since last entry? Arthur woke 3 times over our 6 hour night (I know, we need to go to bed earlier!) to nurse. I had to pee at bedtime and then at two of his night wakings (around 2am and 4am). Still VERY weird for me to be doing that.
Nursing hurts. Until today I figured it had to be to do with the fact that Arthur has just got three new top teeth, including the two middle ones, and one of them has grown in far enough now so that it presses into my breast as I nurse him. It leaves an indent and lately I am really sore when he is nursing. But today I'm not so sure that is the cause. Nursing is currently SO painful, it's as painful as when I first started breastfeeding when Arthur was brand new, and that was baaaaad. And it's a similar kind of pain. It sort of feels like a searing pinching pain every time Arthur draws milk out. I'm beginning to think that pain from a single tooth pressing in wouldn't be that "all-over" and searing. It's worse in the evenings too, which surely wouldn't make a difference if it was a physical toothie thing. So maybe it's the nursing pain that pregnant women who are still nursing suffer from, which I have read a LOT about. It seems to be very common in that situation. Which lends even MORE support to the whole pregnancy possibility. But yow it hurts to breastfeed my baby boy. I will persevere though, even if it continues like this. I really don't want him to wean at any point.
Arthur is waking from his nap. I will finish this later, probably this evening now.
Back again! It's 8pm and Arthur is asleep in bed, so I have the chance to finish this entry. I feel kind of different now. My mood keeps feeling weird - I can't put my finger on it. Like not quite depressed about things, but just a bit blue and negative. And insecure. But still normal and fine at the same time. I am beginning to think maybe I am getting my period. I have been a bit headachy today, and after Arthur's midnight-ish waking, I developed a sudden bad headache above one eye. It was really sore and I had to take painkillers for it. I remember feeling disappointed because I often get a really bad sore headache for hours on end the day (or possibly two) before I get my period. Some cycles I don't get this, but I would say more than half of them I do. This wasn't the right place for my usual pre-period headache, but it was painful enough. Painkillers don't normally do anything for it and I just need to wait it out. But I took some and went to sleep, and when I woke an hour or so later, it was way better, almost gone. So I don't know what to make of that.
But today I have felt quite headachy, on and off. Never bad, but just hanging around. Also I am super tired today. Like I took a drowsy pill or something. And that is very common for me in the few days before my period arrives. So I feel a bit blue about it because maybe it means my period is coming tomorrow or something? That would be a shame. Partly because then I would not be pregnant, but also because my luteal phase would not have made much improvement at all really, and I was hoping for more. But hey ho.
Also I am very crampy today. I have been crampy SUCH a lot this cycle. Lately I have had vice-like nasty queasy-making cramps very late at night, for like 3 nights running or something. They feel just like when I actually HAVE my period. Today during part of Arthur's afternoon nap, I lay down to have a rest for a while on the spare bed, and had some bad cramps while I was lying there. I keep checking for my period. BUT, now that I think about it, I only seem to experience the bad cramps when I am lying down flat on my back. Isn't that weird? I have what feels like a burny pinching pain just inside my left hip at the moment. It just went that way a minute ago. I think it's the same one I felt a couple of days ago, in the same place.
Urrrrrgh, I feel soooo crazy reading this kind of entry back! I just seem so nuts and obsessed, to the point where I feel like I'm just being silly.
I am so thirsty today.
I am anxious to check my cervix tonight because I heard that it will open right before your period starts. And I am going nuts about tomorrow's temp. I feel like I couldn't bear to see a drop. Especially a big one. That would mean my period would probably arrive that same day.
I hope I am not getting it. But I think maybe possibly I might be. I need to go and find a pick-me-up. Maybe I will watch a movie. Or have an early night - I feel sooooooooo tired out and sleepy. My brain feels tired of all this pregnancy hype all of a sudden!
Well I will update for sure tomorrow and give the latest news, whatever it might be. Thanks for the support out there! I would go (even more!) crazy without it!! xxx
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