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2004-03-15 - 8.29pm��previous entry��next entry
6 weeks, 3 days - encouraging signs...
Thank you to everybody AGAIN for the lovely encouraging guestbook entries! I am really touched :) You are all lovely!
I am feeling really optimistic and positive today :) I posted my story about my bleeding in detail on a pregnancy forum, and almost immediately got 10 replies from women who had had the same kind of bleeding but were now in their 3rd trimesters or had recently given birth!!! That was soooo encouraging!! Some of them bled SO much more heavily than me, and for weeks longer too. One lady said her sister had a hematoma on the ultrasound, just like me, and they said that's where her bleeding was coming from. She bled much heavier than me too. So I am reeeeally encouraged now!! I am therefore getting nervous about Friday's scan, because I am starting to expect to see Bean and a heartbeat. It's so scary to expect that and to know that I might see nothing at all and that will be the end of it.
I am hardly bleeding at all today. It has behaved exactly like a period - check out my FF chart! Today I have only the slightest trace of brown, and it's very pale now. Even after a BM!!! :D I'm so pleased and relieved.
My main issue lately has been nausea. Yesterday I didn't update because I was just feeling too sick to use the computer much. I could hardly get any food down at all yesterday, and not much fluid either. I stayed up late, determined to eat SOMETHING before sleeping for the night! But I worked on an apple for almost and hour and still couldn't finish it, so I gave up in the end and went to bed. I didn't get to sleep till just after 6am!!!! Urgh. Then I woke up at 7.30 when Neil got up for work, and ohhhhhhh my goodness I felt so dreadful, I really thought I was gonna have to get up and be sick. But I didn't. Phew. I dropped off again in the end, and the next thing I knew it was 11.30am and the postman was ringing my doorbell like there was never such a fun thing to do! I was dreaming someone was irritating me like crazy ringing the doorbell, and I couldn't make them go away. Like they were papparazzi or something! It took me ages to wake up, so I'm glad the postman was persistant! I got a big parcel of maternity clothes! :)
I have pretty much spent the day on the sofa. How pathetic is that? I said to my mum that I feel so pathetic and useless but she said I shouldn't worry about that. She said this is how it is in early pregnancy (for me at least), and I am doing a special job, even though it looks like all I'm doing is lazing around groaning all day! ;) (I don't think I really groan though!)
Today I had to work on eating, so I nibbled almost continually from about noon till 5pm. I could only take the tiniest nibbles of crackers and eventually, bread with butter and a bit of marmite on it. I could sip tiny bits of milk, and I tried the same with orange juice but that was a BAD idea. Bad. So I didn't finish the orange juice. But anyway, to give you an idea of how slow I had to eat for my stomach to like me (!!), in 5 hours of constant nibbling, I ate 4 Jacob's crackers and 2 slices of bread with butter and marmite. And about 250mls of milk. But I feel a little better now for eating. It's just so hard to eat when you feel so sick.
Today I listened to my Morningwell tape for the first time! I don't think it was a good time to try it, as the only nausea I had at the time was from being seriously over-hungry. But oh well. I found it really soothing, and I certainly didn't feel worse while I listened to it. I still felt queasy though. I'm gonna persevere and try it again though. If it might help with the nausea I will definitely give it a go!
Today I have watched a TON of daytime TV. Oh man! I have just been feeling so tired and nauseous, I didn't care what junk I was watching really. It was comforting to snuggle on the sofa and nibble and watch rubbish. But I did watch some children's TV, and here's a crazy hormonal thing - I watched Words and Pictures (I used to LOVE the magic pencil when I was young!!), and the lady read a story and it was about a little boy learning to ride his bike without falling over. I cried and cried. There were pictures too. They made me cry more. Then a bit later I watched Bob the Builder (I need to get out more!), and one of the farmer's sheep got lost and when they found her she had had a lamb and it was snowing so they had to get them back before dark and awwwwwww I cried such a lot!! At Bob the Builder. Hormones. *sigh* But yay, because that's kind of pregnant of me!
Other marvellous news today is that my breasts feel like two big bruises! Actually they felt this way yesterday too, but yow they really hurt. If I even touch them at the edge with hardly any pressure, it feels like a bruise, they are soooo tender and sore.
We do a daily breast-viewing here (!!), just to see if they look different each day, and they haven't for a while. But today we both think they are a different shape. Wider and more rounded, and something weird is going on with my nipples! It's like they are getting puffy or something. They are suddenly more rounded instead of being flat. Weird. But all good, I think! Anyway, they hurt.
I'm not having any cramping or discomfort, only occasional mild issues with bloating and gas and that. Okay so I have a LOT of bloating and gas! But it's not causing me too much crampy pain so that's something.
Oh you'll never guess what?!!! Who remembers me writing about a past cycle-buddy at FF whose husband recently received a terrible sperm analysis result across the board? Well worse news - they were referred to a urologist for him to have further testing, and a repeat sperm test had even worse results, motility and morphology at zero, and sperm count only 4 million :( But that's not the worst of it. They found a cancerous lump on her husband's testicle and he has just had surgery to remove the testicle. He was asked to donate as much sperm as possible to be frozen in the 2 weeks before his surgery, even though it stood hardly any chance of producing a baby, as it was their only hope. He will have to undergo chemo which will probably render him completely sterile.
Boy was my heart broken for this lovely couple. And then you will never ever ever guess what happened. People started praying. And 2 days before her husband's surgery, my friend discovered she is pregnant!!!!!!!! Now, I ask you, what are the odds?!!! With her husband's sperm stats, a fertility specialist would tell you that it is almost completely impossible for conception to take place at all, especially withouth intervention. But God is bigger than that. Wow. What a miracle baby!! I am delighted for her, and her husband's surgery was a success. Now they are just waiting for encouraging test results for him, and a sticky bean.
God is so cool! :)
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