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2005-08-22 - 10.15am��previous entry��next entry
Another darn coverline. Darn it!
Aaaaaaaargh!!! This morning, there I was thinking I am merrily 5 days past ovulation, and when I enter my nice high temp, Fertility Friend changes my coverline A. GAIN. So now I have my FOURTH coverline and new ovulation date this cycle! Now it says I ovulated on CD29, not CD27, so I must be 3DPO. I am so fed up with this! At least I know I HAVE actually ovulated at whatever point though, because my temps are good and high now, compared with the rest of my cycle.
I feel anxious that this morning's temp was a blip, and there won't be any more that high at all. I haven't had a temp that high since before Arthur. I have been posting at various places to ask for advice on my chart. It's driving me crazy and I don't know what to make of it at all. FF has been so changeable the whole time that I don't know if it really knows what it's talking about! I think my crazy CM has confused FF this cycle though. It has certainly confused the heck out of me!
Anyway, two people have now said they reckon I should ignore FF's latest calculations because they think I actually ovulated on CD20 (where the big dip is), before the latest larrrge patch of EWCM. I admit I had wondered that myself. The temp pattern after CD20 is very promising, pregnancy-wise. And we did have parsnips on CD20. There's even a possible implantation dip at 6/7 DPO. But it is not likely. The temps don't really work against my "pre-ovulation" temps that way, and what about all those fertile signs afterwards? Plus it would make me 12DPO today, and I doubt my luteal phase could really get to that. Unless I was pregnant. But I don't know that the chart supports that theory. I did have very bad crampy ovulation-type-pain around CD20, and again around CD27, so that second lot could have either been actual ovulation, or implantation. Or what else? Random cramps? But then NOW I'm supposed to have not ovulated or anything till CD29.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggghh.
Tis doing my head in.
On top of all that, I have a few weird weirdnesses lately. The past three nights, I have had to pee a lot in the night. I am not drinking more than usual, in fact I am not drinking enough at all. 3 nights ago I had to pee 4 times over the whole night, but that included the time up to 8am when I had got up and moved to the spare room at 6ish after Arthur and Neil got up. The next night it was 3 times. I nevvvver pee in the night. Well, maybe like once, very rarely. I am peeing maybe a couple more times than usual in the day too. Peeing more (esp. at night) was a sign that I wondered about before I got my positive pregnancy test with Arthur, but I can't remember how many days past ovulation it started. I don't think I have the "pressurey bladder" feel that accompanied it back then though.
I am also sooooo hungry all the time - another thing that stuck out before the BFP with Arthur. I need to snack all the time, even an hour before dinner. My brother and his fiancee came round yesterday and I was so hungry during their visit (late afternoon) that I had to sneak off to the kitchen twice to eat cheese, a Mars Bar (naughty!) and a banana. And shortbread biscuits.
But that one might be due to just randomness. Sometimes I do get ultra hungry with breastfeeding, but not often these days. So it could just be that. Or just a random hungry day (or few!). If I really am only 3 or 5 DPO then it's not possible that these could be pregnancy symptoms anyway, is it.
Pfththth.
Oh but yesterday my cervix was soooo high and closed really tight. It was soft around the edge and firm in the centre. The only two times I ever found my cervix like that during the luteal phase in all my months of cervix-checking (!), were the cycle I was pregnant with Arthur, and the cycle before, which turned out to have been a chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage). So I got kind of excited about that.
Yesterday Neil was holding Arthur on his lap (they were watching the car racing - snore! Arthur seems to LOVE it!!) and I said to Neil I have been peeing more. He said, "Does it burn when you pee?" I said, no. He said, "Is the pee cloudy?" I said, no. (He is used to me having other reasons for pee issues!!) He said, "Have you been drinking more?" I said, no. He said, "How about drinking a lot right before bed?" I said, no. Neil said, "So you're pregnant then.... That would be quite cool actually!" :) Of course I am probably not pregnant, but now I'm ultra excited because we really do feel ready to try for another baby now. I this cycle has got us thinking, because we have been put in the position of wondering whether we made a baby (several times!) and also wondering if I might actually be pregnant (a whole different thing to having conceived at ovulation time). After he said that, we talked about how we felt about it, and we both realised that we feel like it would be great to be expecting another baby now. Last month we both felt like it was waaaay too soon. In fact, after the first oopsie, when it looked like I didn't ovulate after all, Neil said, "Oh well. I think it was too soon for us anyway." Now he feels differently, and so do I.
I think we both feel that we are now actively trying to conceive - yay, how exciting!!!! This cycle was not ACTIVELY trying to conceive, but it ended up looking a lot like it anyway. Next cycle I think we will really be trying with pregnancy in mind :) I feel desperate for my luteal phase to get right, so that we have a chance.
This new coverline has me so frustrated because now whenever I get my period, I don't REALLY know if I had a 8 day luteal phase or a 10 day one, for example, depending on whether FF was right or wrong in calculating my ovulation date. And I really need to know exactly how long it is, because I am experimenting with the Vitamin B6 and watching carefully to see if it is working even slightly. Tsk. I will probably go up to 100mg of B6 next cycle anyway.
Okay enough rambling. Arthur is napping. I need to go to the loo before he wakes, or else he will be sitting on the floor with me and that's just less fun than doing it on my own! ;)
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