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2008-11-07 - 11.41pm��previous entry��next entry
5 weeks, 3 days - update on the bleeding
Thanks soooo much for all the uplifting and supportive comments! xxx
It's late, so just a quick update to say that I took my temp this morning and it was 36.9, so still right up there. I know it could just take a few days to come down if I am miscarrying, so I'll keep temping from now on, till I have closure, or else get home and have a scan.
Today my bleeding has STOPPED, hmmm! I have had a very small amount of brown spotting, and that's it all day. So now I am really starting to wonder if Babydot is still there after all? I know that many a miscarriage starts with drawn out spotting or bleeding that comes and goes, before the actual miscarriage itself (or ending up later on as a missed miscarriage), so just because the bleeding has stopped, I know it doesn't mean everything is okay after all. But, if I look at my history it looks a bit more hopeful I think. I'm nervous to hope though, because I don't want to get hurt.
The weird sense of impending doom though - it has all but disappeared with the bleeding, overnight. It's the weirdest thing. Neil made a not-that-educational theory (!!) that I've lost a twin which wasn't healthy, hence the sense of "something's not right with this baby/pregnancy...", and the bleeding signifies something is up in there. He also things something is funny about my temps with that big dip after I tested positive. Something IS funny about that, but it could just be a weird pregnancy fluctuation or something - I don't know, I am not convincing myself of that very well! But I just can't explain the weird temps there any other way. Neil thinks it's a late implantation of a twin (which, having a little more knowledge myself, doesn't seem possible to me!) and that twin didn't make it. Anyway, that's his explanation! ;)
I don't know what's going on. I've had subchorionic haematomas before so this could just be another one. My first one was with Arthur's pregnancy and it started at 5 weeks and 5 days. I am trying to take it easy today, though I have still picked up boys (not Arthur though!!!) today at times. I have had very little cramping today, but have felt mildly periody or crampy at times throughout the day, on and off. If I feel crampy then I sit down, or don't lift the kids, or something, till it's a bit better. I also had a good lie in this morning and that helped me feel less exhausted.
I'm so nervous going to the toilet all the time. I still feel at peace about it, in terms of, I know that God is in control, not me. And I trust him that he knows best for the outcome of this pregnancy. It's hard to wait, but I trust him. It IS hard to go to the loo though, because I hate seeing bleeding when I'm pregnant!!! However at peace I am, I just hate seeing blood when pregnant! Urgh!
Meg, I had your idea as well last night! I left it too late to phone my GP today and now it's weekend, but I'll phone on Monday and ask to talk to her. She knows my history and has booked my early scans in the past for bleeding or spotting, so I'm hoping she'll be happy to start the process from my phone call, without me waiting till I'm home, making an appt, and going in to see her. That would be tedious! I'm also worried about WHEN the scan might be arranged for. Neil is home on Wednesday (the first day we're back from France) but back to work after that, and you're not allowed to take little ones into the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital. I'm not sure if she can arrange to get me a scan for Wednesday though, as I'm sure there's high demand and I might even have to wait quite a bit longer than that, who knows. I will phone and talk to her about it though, even though we'll be coming home the next evening.
On Monday (only 3 days from now!) I will be 5 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Which, as my seasoned readers will know (!), is The Day that my morning sickness starts, usually in the evening. I know I could have a healthy pregnancy and that WON'T happen, but I sort of expect it really. And it will be HUGELY reassuring if it does! I'll feel way better about everything, even if I'm bleeding afresh that same day, if I feel properly nauseous in a morning-sick sort of way that evening! We'll see.
I feel crampy at the moment, so I'm going to check my pad and go to bed. I'll temp tomorrow, and every day from now, and update my chart as regularly as I can. Arthur's birthday is the day after tomorrow (what?!?!) so I have to bake his birthday cake, wrap his presents, and generally prepare for my Birthday Boy's big day tomorrow! I will try to take it easy though. So glad to be here with my parents with extra hands to help, and extra opportunity for rest! Thank you Lord! :)
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