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2009-04-19 - 11.58pm��previous entry��next entry
28 weeks, 4 days
I'm 28 weeks pregnant! So amazing to me. Baby boy is now roughly 2lbs 8oz and 15 inches long!!! I know I'm still only at the beginning of my 3rd trimester, but it's all starting to feel like there's not that long to go and that I'm really on the home stretch. I'm not REALLY in that zone yet, where I totally REALISE it and start getting things ready, checking off lists, etc. In fact, I haven't made any lists yet, aaarrgh! I feel like, surely if I haven't made or checked off any lists, I can't possibly be ready for the baby when he comes?! ;)
I had a great 28-week appointment with the midwife on Wednesday. I took all the boys to the Sure Start centre where the new clinic is, and it went great. Arthur and Matthew played with the toys and things in the big hall very happily while I went in with the midwife. I took Nathan in with me, because he's super clingy to me right now and I wasn't about to put him down, let alone let him out of my sight! He likes to be held if we're near people he doesn't know, so that's what I do at the moment. He didn't cry though, and is starting to cry less with strangers unless they approach him - he just watches them warily till he realises they're okay!
So my blood pressure was 110/60 - hooray! :) And I had a headache that day but not as bad as the previous one, and I'd had the whole week without one, so it was fine. I haven't had that facial puffiness since the time before either. I'm sure there will be more of that to come as I get more pregnant - I seem to remember it from my other pregnancies. But I'm glad I'm without it for now!
I didn't have a urine sample with me, so I had to take one of those little tubes and go and do one. I took Nathan with me, and I wasn't sure how to juggle it! In the end, he held the spare sample tube (for me to use at HOME next time before we go - much more sensible!) and stood in front of the toilet in the cubicle, while I did my sample. He was most intrigued, haha! He kept craning his neck to see under me, and his eyes were really popping out! He kept saying, "Doh! Doh!" very urgently! ;) So that worked out fine in the end. My urine sample was completely clean - absolutely nothing in it at all! No sugar, protein, or the blood that was present last time, so I'm really happy about that.
Nathan was okay with me putting him down on the floor while I got on the examination table for the midwife to check my tummy. He stood and held onto the table, and was happy enough with the student chatting to him while he stood there, so that was good! I've had to have him lying on my chest in the past while they've checked my tummy, so this is an improvement! :)
The baby is still head-down, yay! He is also pretty high up, in regards to the position of his head. She wrote in my notes "free", and showed me where it was - actually way above my pelvis and even above my bikini line!!! I carry my babies low in general, and Nathan was my lowest yet (see pics in his belly gallery!), so I was surprised to hear that this baby boy is so high up! I don't think my bump particularly looks high at all, and I don't feel crowded up at the top of my bump. He's tucked up nice and neatly, just resting high out of my pelvis for now. Because he's my 4th baby, and he's so high, he could change positions a lot still, but I'm hoping he continues with his head-down trend till he settles lower and stays there!
His heart rate was 150-160, and he was kicking and active the whole time. She said his resting heart rate would have been lower if he hadn't been so active while we were listening. I never get an actual number for his heart rate at appointments, so it was nice to hear it this time!
The midwife talked to me a little bit about what comes next, and about the birth. My next appointment isn't till 34 weeks - that's ages! It seems odd to me to have a 6-week gap at this late stage of pregnancy, but oh well! She told me that first-time mothers have a 32-week appointment, but they don't do that for subsequent pregnancies for some reason. I can't remember that from the last 2 times, but that may well have been the case. So, my 34 week appointment is at the end of May, and is labelled as the "birth discussion" appointment! She said she would like me to have decided where I want to give birth so I can tell them at the next appointment, and I said that I was having trouble deciding, and would I be able to chat to them about it before that time? So we had a quick chat about it, but we're also going to discuss it further next time. I think they'd still like a decision for the next appointment though. After that I have a 37-week appointment where if I am having a homebirth, they'll bring round the birth pack. The midwife said that I should probably have a birth pack brought round at 37 weeks even if I choose a hospital birth, because I will want to start labouring at home probably, and if things go fast (which they could, and very!) then I'll end up with a homebirth after all and will need the birth pack. That's a great idea, so I'll be getting my homebirth pack this time either way! I'm quite excited about that!
Truth be told, I really would probably prefer a homebirth. I like being at home. I know my body can do birth, since it's been there and done that a few times, and babies are popping out of me with ease lately, haha! It doesn't mean that's how it will always go, of course, but I feel confident in my body and not like I NEED to be in hospital in case I need help giving birth or anything. It's nice to labour at home early on - soooo nice. I can deal with labour absolutely great until about 7cm dilated, which so far has been about 30 minutes at most before I give birth. The time in between is where I want to be in hospital getting HELP - I don't even know what "help" I'm after, just anything, ANYTHING will do, lol! I don't know how to bear that 30 minutes this time, it's overwhelming and scary and so beyond what I can manage in the pain department. I make scary amounts of noise during that time, and my main anxiety is the boys and the fact that I can't seem to control it. I'm so worried that I'll disturb their sleep (and then WHO will go to them and comfort them while I'm in that particular stage of labour/birth?! Not that they'll even BE comforted if they wake to that kind of noise anyway!), and that I'll traumatise them permanently! I just WISH I could control it, because just that alone would probably be enough for me to 100% go for a homebirth. It's mainly just the noise factor. Because, although the pain/overwhelming thing feels like too much to deal with even now, REALLY it's only 30 minutes (it does feel like a lot longer, though!), and when I'm on the other side of that with my sweet baby boy in my arms, I will be sooooooooooooo glad to be at home - that part is for my children's benefit too, but will it be at too great a cost before that point, with the screaming and such?! I don't know.
The hospital appeals in that I can avoid scaring the boys and disturbing sleep, etc. I still feel terribly uncomfortable making such a noise as I KNOW I'm disturbing (and probably scaring) other birthing women around me. I felt awful about that last time, in the hospital, but I just could NOT stop myself :( Also, if it's too much, I guess there are pain-relief options there (I'm thinking epidural, mainly). Though, I am not sure I want one of those. It's only the last 30 minutes! Before that, I manage contractions in silence and totally calmly, keeping my body relaxed and breathing it through. I haven't found that difficult. It's crazy how so completely it changes once I get near to transition, and then it's so short after that. I wouldn't want an epidural before that point when I'm dealing so well with it and in no need for such an intervention. I'd rather not have ANY pain relief or intervention whatsoever, ideally. But if I'm in hospital at least the option is there, and being anxious about the pain as I am, that appeals somewhat.
At home, I can rest straight away in my own place, and not need to "come home" and appear to my children after being absent, with a new baby they've never met before. I prefer never leaving them, for their secure continuity, and for them to meet the baby the moment we do, or very soon thereafter, in their own secure and familiar home. I hated being away from them last time, it broke my heart! I know they missed me and it affected them a little (especially Arthur). It's so seamless when I give birth at home, for the children. On the other hand, once I got over the hormonal snorty sobbing at missing my kids last time (!!), it was nice to be removed, just to have a good long time to bond closely with my tiny boy without distraction. It was nice to be away from any sort of responsibility, knowing they were cared for around the clock at home while I recovered a bit in hospital. BUT, back to the first hand (!), the hospital was not a restful place to be, and I slept terribly and didn't regain my strength or energy well at all. Nights were disturbed, other babies cried, and the bed and lighting was unfamiliar - the food too. At home when I had Matthew, I gave birth at 10.45pm, got stitched up and bathed, and fell into MY OWN BED with my baby asleep next to me in the Moses basket, at about 2am. I didn't sleep a wink that night, just in awe of the little person outside of my body instead of inside, and the fact that it was so wonderfully surreal to be at home in my bed as usual even though I just had a baby a few hours ago! It was lovely, and I was so excited, I didn't sleep one little bit. But the next day I was able to stay in my own bed as much as I liked, see my own sweet family and my little boy as much as either of us wanted to, and eat my own familiar food, have access to all my things, use my own toilet, etc. It was SO WONDERFUL. Hmmm, perhaps I'm answering my own question? I love just waffling things out in my diary! It so often helps me actually see things in better perspective and make the decision that I thought I couldn't make!
Like last time I wrote an update, where I was saying about the girl twins, and got reminded of the fact that God SAID "the next baby is Benjamin". That really made me stop in my tracks and remember exactly why we are using Benjamin (in whatever form) in the first place. It felt like there shouldn't really be any question over what his name is! God said his name is Benjamin. I know we could use it as a middle name, but why, if God said quite simply, his name is Benjamin?! I said this to Neil and read out the diary entry, and he took that away to think about. He said that he has gone off Noah again - I don't know why, he just is on and off about the names we're considering, but he hasn't been suggesting any other names for a good few weeks now.
Anyway then we had a good chat about the name Benjamin. His main reservation before was that it was my brother's name, but he said that really he doesn't see my brother as Benjamin at all. He has never known him as Benjamin - his name is Bennie. Nobody ever calls him Benjamin, from birth really. Just occasionally my mum when he was being naughty, or playfully she occasionally called him "Benjamin-bean" because it had a catchy rhythm :) But otherwise, as far as Neil is concerned, his name ISN'T Benjamin, so that takes away his original main reservation. I wish I was happy sharing our surname here, because that always has a big part to play in our name choices, obviously! But I don't, not on a public blog. Oh well! Some of you do know my surname so you'll know what I'm talking about, but we both think Benjamin "Surname" (it's 2 syllables and begins with K) sounds like a wonderfully strong "man's" name. It reminds me of Benjamin Franklin for some reason, and the same strong kind of sound is there for the name Benjamin with our surname, I think. We love that! It's goes better with our surname, in my opinion, than any of our other children's names. Their names all go really nicely (I'm lucky to have married a man whose surname goes with basically everything except names with a couple of K sounds in them or something!) with our surname, but Benjamin is soooooo especially nice. It's such a strong-sounding name! I really love it! We also both STRONGLY want to use it as a full-name. We have no intention of shortening it, even with my weakness for shortening and cutesifying names! ;) I'm sure I will do something with it, and who knows what it might end up like, but Neil and I like the name Benjamin, not Bennie, or Ben, or Benji. I used to particularly dislike Ben, maybe because I was biased by having a brother named Bennie, who never went by the name Ben at all, and I liked that (there were so many Bens around anyway!). But lately I'm thinking how much I quite like Ben, and would be happy if that's what his name got shortened to in the end. Neil feels the same way on that. We have no intention of calling him Ben though, only Benjamin - if that's the name we do go with. We haven't really discussed it completely yet, but that last thing Neil said was that he's feeling happier all the time with the idea of naming the baby Benjamin. I have no idea what we'll do for a middle name, but that will be the fun part - searching and choosing just the right one! :) I'm looking forward to that!
Okay I will save this in Blogger and finish it this evening. The boys are out at the park (Arthur has a horrid cold but he's eager to go and run in the open air as usual, so they're out in the lovely sunshine on the wide open grass!) with Neil, and I am roasting a chicken, so I need to stop this now and put the potatoes and parsnips in the oven! And then make a bread-and-butter pudding. I just feel like one, and I haven't made one in aaaages. Back later! :)
It's later (very late!) and I'm back. Not much time now to write more stuff, but I wanted to complete this the same day I started it! I can always write another update with more another time :) Arthur has had a much more quiet and restful sleep this evening, so hopefully he's turning the corner already with his cold? Neil has since come down with it and is stuffed up completely, and Nathan has woken 6 times this evening alone, screeching miserably and is difficult to console, so I am guessing his poor baby throat is all sore :( I wish I had more milk to soothe his throat with, but that can't be helped. I have a little colostrum, and he's soothed by breastfeeding, so that's what I'm doing for him. He had Calpol but it doesn't seem to have helped this evening. So, I need to go to bed in case it's a LONG night! Plus, I keep having to stop what I'm doing online to go and soothe him and settle him back to sleep, and that will probably happen again in a minute, so I should finish up quickly and go to bed.
I think the other things I wanted to say were that I need to weigh myself, just to have an idea to compare. 28 weeks seems to me to be a good "square" time to weigh myself and that's probably what I did in other pregnancies, so I can compare how I'm gaining weight with the other times if I weigh myself now. I'll try to remember tomorrow. I'm longing to bake things all the time this past month, and have made cakes, brownies, biscuits, chocolate refridgerator cake(s!) and so on. And consumed embarrassing quantities of them! ;) So, I'm sure my weight is rising rapidly, hehe! It always does anyway - I gain basically the same each pregnancy, 54/55lbs, although I have no way of knowing that for last pregnancy since Nathan came early and I hadn't weighed myself in a bit when he did. But my weight gain before then was right on track with my previous two pregnancies. So far this pregnancy, it is on track again, so I'm sure I'll end up 54lbs heavier than when I started, or something along those lines!
What else? I'm having a lot more Braxton Hicks contractions lately. I really haven't had much bother with those this pregnancy, compared with other pregnancies. It's just started in the last 2 or 3 weeks, and now they are getting quite a bit stronger and more uncomfortable.
I have a 28-week belly picture, yay! It's in the gallery :) Never mind the slight upward angle (Neil was sitting down) and the slightly tense expression! Arthur was waking upstairs crying with his sore throat for the millionth time that evening, and we were rushing to get the belly picture taken and get upstairs to console him! I am bigger than last time, for sure! I am not carrying as low as I did with Nathan - I keep looking back at that gallery and I'm amazed at how lowwwww he was, especially around this stage and beyond! Yikes!
I'm having to pee a TON more lately. Annoyingly frequently, actually! The other day I went TEN TIMES in the daytime!!! I'm a 2-3 times a day girl when not affected by pregnancy, so 10 times feels crazy to me! I never get through a night without having to get up and pee now, either. Baby beany boy feels pretty heavy in there now and I'm feeling a lot of pelvic pressure (despite him not even being in there yet, haha!). I am waddling a LOT when I walk, and keep trying to correct it because surely there's no NEED to waddle like that?! But I just waddle without thinking, and it is somewhere between uncomfortable and painful when I walk, all the time. I think I'm waddling to protect myself a little from more discomfort - I sort of walk gingerly, and I do it without thinking about it. My pelvis hurts across the back and also around the pubic bone area, but NOTHING like my pubic bone normally hurts when I'm pregnant (again with the higher baby??), so that's nice! It hurts at the back sort of down into my buttock on one side too, like the little tiny joints in my pelvis are all under pressure to the point where they hurt and want to "click" back into place to feel better again, but can't. That sort of thing. If I've been sitting down for any length of time, it's really sore when I start waddling, er, walking when I get up! ;) That's par for the course really, so I am not actually complaining - just making note. It comes hand in hand with being all big and round and pregnant, and MAN I love that part, so I'm not too put out about the discomfort (yet!)!
Okay, Nathan stirs again, so I will stop for now and write again if I remember something important.
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