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2009-05-04 - 10.47pm��previous entry��next entry
30 weeks, 4 days!
The big three-oh!! Three-quarters of the way through my pregnancy! I just typed, "I can't believe" but then deleted it because that phrase is getting used every single time I update here, and that is probably getting old to read! ;) But it's still true, anyway! I'm amazed to be into the 30s already - that's the home-stretch!! Nathan was born at 35 weeks so that's only 5 weeks away, which is NO time! There, I went and typed, "I can't believe" again and had to delete it, hehe! ;) I now have less than 10 weeks to go until my due date. Is that not crazy?! Nathan was unusual - my waters broke for no apparent reason, and that's not my norm! So I'm not expecting the same thing to happen again, or anything like it really. My "norm" from my first two babies is that I do not go into labour till after my due date - Matthew was born at 41 weeks exactly! I sooooo don't want to wait till 41 weeks again this time! But I'm fully expecting to reach my due date still pregnant. You never know, but that's my expectation. I'm thinking AFTER July 8th (my due date). Any guesses yet? Or should I save that for nearer the time?! I'm thinking maybe July 10th or 11th. Or 12th. Or something like that. Weird stats seem to indicate that my babies are always born between the 9th and the 14th of the month so far, whether they're a bit late or really early! Small window, no? Sure enough, this baby is also due close to that window, so I'm expecting to give birth between July 9th and July 14th. We shall see! :)
Well, I should have a 30-week belly picture for the gallery, but we haven't taken one yet! I know I need to get a move on and get one taken because I'll be 31 weeks before I can blink - the weeks are zipping by that fast, and there are only 3 days till 31 weeks now. Another belly picture would be due at 32 weeks so I should get the 30 week one done now!
Baby boy (who I can't help but think is really and truly to be named Benjamin, lately) now weighs 3lbs or more!!! Yay, the 3lb mark! :) And he's 15.7 inches long. Getting so big! He FILLS my big baby bump! I can feel him all over it, his back, his limbs, his little bottom. My mum says I am carrying much more neatly this time and she thinks I have not gained weight like I usually do, because I still look "little" everywhere else, but have a baby bump on the front! And Neil says she's right, and that I'm carrying very much all-on-the-front this time. I think I always carry low and front-ish-ly so I can't really see the difference this time. I'm not sure about the weight thing. I weighed myself at 29 weeks and 2 days, and I can assure you that I most certaintly HAVE gained weight, haha! I was kind of shocked to see 11 stone on the scales! Like, my eyes nearly fell out, that kind of shocked! ;) I'm sure I was 9 stone something the last time I checked! After calming down a little bit (hehe!), I did some calculations, and discovered that actually I have not gained fifty million pounds yet, because I had forgotten that I started this pregnancy around 9 stone - I weigh more than the last time every time I start a new pregnancy. I lose weight without trouble in the postpartum period, but it takes till about 6 months postpartum to really start falling off, and then I get pregnant before it's finished doing its thang! ;)
Anyway I worked out that I had gained 28 or 29lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (my pre-pregnancy weight was give-or-take a lb because I wasn't too accurate with it in the first place!). I checked my pregnancy diary (love this thing!) and was surprised (amused?!) to see that I weighed myself at exactly 29 weeks and 2 days with Arthur! And I had gained 28lbs that day! From the start of the 3rd trimester till about 34 weeks, I had gained the same number of lbs as I was in pregnancy weeks, so 29lbs (ish!) at 29 weeks, etc, week by week. I was pretty much on track with that with Matthew's pregnancy but I gained a few lbs less at this stage with him. With Nathan, I last weighed myself at only about 23.5 weeks, because the battery on my scales went after that, and I never replaced it. And then he came early anyway, so I will never know! But it's reassuring to see that this time is basically exactly the same as it always goes! At 29 weeks, I have gained 29lbs, which is the same weight gain to the lb (pretty much) as with Arthur's pregnancy. So, now that I'm 30 weeks I am thinking that I have now gained 30lbs ish. The down side to all this is that with Arthur I had gained 54lbs by the time he was born! And 55lbs with Matthew. I wish I had an idea with Nathan, but I suspect I was on the same track, weight-gain wise, because the earlier weigh-ins before the scales broke were right on track with Arthur's pregnancy, more so than Matthew's (which was very similar but ever so slightly less weight gained until the end). So if he hadn't come early I'm sure I would have gained approximately 55lbs, and shall probably do so again this time. That's just how I do it, it seems, but the thing that bothers me this time is that I started heavier than any of the other times, so if I gain 55lbs I will be cracking on for 13 stone!!!!! Which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too heavy for my frame, and my wellbeing, really and truly. I was very uncomfortable at 11 stone 5lbs (my finishing weight with Arthur - only a couple of lbs away this time already!), and more so at the end of Matthew's pregnancy.
But hey ho! I will keep track of my weight for comparison, and TRY not to start stressing about it after all this time! It drives me crazy, weight-obsession in pregnancy, so I will try not to jump on board and obsess! ;)
Okay, it's now late and I need to finish what I'm writing. I got Neil to take a belly picture, and it's now in the gallery, yay! My face IS starting to look weighty, more so than last time for sure. I prefer this week's belly photo with me looking down at my little baby bumpy boy, therefore! At first glance my belly looks smaller in the photo than previous belly pics (the last two), but the angle is slightly different. Last time Neil took it at a slight upward angle, on a level with my bump. This time he took it from my head height, and that seems to affect how big my bump looks. Last time it looked huge, haha! If I look at the proportions with my hands on it and distance out from my hips and down from my bust, then I can see it's bigger. I certainly feel bigger than at 28 weeks!
Also since I started this diary entry tonight, I have spent some time listening to worship music with my headphones on (so as not to disturb Neil who was watching a movie). I listened to Chris Tomlin's album - "Hello Love" (which is fab if a bit rocky!). There's a song on it that I made reference to in my arthursmummy blog, called "Exalted (Yahweh)" which reeeally moved me when I first heard it. Anyway I got to that song on the CD and my little one inside me gave me a couple of little bumps and wiggles, reminding me of his sweet little presence in there. So I decided to let him listen to that worship song properly. I put the headphones right on my tummy and played him the whole nearly-six-minutes of the song. I felt so happy when I was holding those headphones there, because the words are all about how GREAT the Lord is, and how exalted, and how holy his name is. I love letting those wonderful words of truth wash over my unborn baby, sung with such feeling and power! He was still - completely still - for 5 minutes and 38 seconds, and then the last notes faded out over the next few seconds, and as soon as that happened he started kicking and thumping with at least 3 limbs at once, really really hard! It was such a big contrast to when the music was playing! I talked to him and stroked my bump and asked him if he liked it. He kept on and on kicking and bumping with his hands in there, until I started to wonder if he wanted to hear more, so I put the song back to the beginning and put the headphones back on my tummy. He went quiet again! He gave a gentle tap-tap halfway through the song, and otherwise was quiet the whole time. He kicked vigorously after it was finished. I don't know what the means, but it made me feel very fond of him all the same! :) I must try to remember to play him music more often. I did it a lot with Arthur, and a bit with Matthew, but I'm not sure if I did at ALL with Nathan! :( It was mainly classical music or jazz that Daddy wrote and played for the other boys. If I had to choose one particular thing to play this time, it would be worship music. There's nothing more important in this baby's whole life than knowing his Maker. I wanted to talk to him throughout the whole song, to tell him, "This is the One who made you, this is who they're singing about! I can't wait to teach you about such a wonderful God!" but I didn't want to interrupt him listening to the music. When I listen to music like this and stop to think for even a split second about my God and my unborn baby in my womb, I feel instantly overwhelmed with emotions I can't even put to type here, or to words that I can speak. Wonderful ones though, and awestruck ones. I wish I could be more specific! But there aren't words.
Well, I think I should call it a night. It's getting late! It's Bank Holiday Monday tomorrow so I will not have to get up so early as I usually do, and that's nice! Neil gets up with the boys, and I get up when he has to get ready for work (they get up EARLY!), but he lets me lie in when he doesn't have to go to work :) Today I exhausted myself completely just trying on a zillion maternity outfits for Cameron's family's party. I mean, I ended up having to lie down on my left side and stay reeeally still on my bed for 25 minutes which made us late, but I felt so weak and nauseous and wiped out. I felt overly tired at the party but we had fun anyway, and by the time we got home I was nauseous and breathless and feeling sore in my lower back, which started to have more and more of a menstrual feel to it and crept round the front too :S So, I had to just go to bed and lie down on my left side again (that's what they recommend for heavily pregnant women! It's the best position to avoid the heavy uterus/baby putting pressure on the uterine artery). I forgot to drink enough today so that might have had something to do with it. I felt so grim though. I put Nathan and Matthew to bed, and Neil did most of Arthur's bedtime routine. I tucked him in and then came downstairs (slowwwwly, everything suddenly feels like I must walk slowwwly and carefully for some reason), and drank a huge glass of water in one go. Then I refilled and rested on the sofa, and over the evening my nausea has lifted and I feel better physically, just very very tired in my eyes. I feel dizzy quite a bit. So I should go to bed!
I'm getting more Braxton Hicks contractions lately, which is good and normal! They are getting noticably stronger these days and are really quite uncomfortable and tight now. Sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing and just rub my tummy gently and consciously relax. I don't have to breathe through them or anything, and they're not painful. They're just very uncomfortably tight and I need to focus on relaxing so they don't feel worse than they need to. I have had far fewer Braxton Hicks contractions than with Arthur's pregnancy though, this time. I can't remember how it compares with Matthew or Nathan's off the top of my head.
Neil felt the baby clearly a few mornings ago, for the first time. Judging by the look on his face, I think it was the first time he really connected with the baby in there. In the mornings when I wake up, I am occasionally lying flat on my back (which is not how I sleep through the night - I lie almost exclusively on my sides now, and sleeping isn't too bothersome or uncomfy this pregnancy (so far!) which is nice!). If I have been flat on my back for any length of time, I always find that the little one has sort of "floated up" and is CLEARLY palpable through my tummy. His feet actually reach my ribs, and that's the only time I feel them that high. One morning I was feeling his little foot high up just under my rib on my right side, and I suddenly thought that if his FOOT was that much higher, wouldn't it be likely that I could feel his whole head more easily, since it would likely be out of my pelvis completely and there for the feeling, given how big and solid it is now?! So I felt the rest of my tummy, and I was AMAZED at what I could feel. I could feel his WHOLE body, clearly. His foot was high up, and I could feel his whole leg bent slightly at the knee. I could feel his knee sticking out slightly like a little knobble, just above my tummy button. His back I could feel wide and smooth on my left side, all the way down and curving around towards the middle of my tummy low down. And at the end of his back, there was a ball like a small grapefruit, but HARD as anything - so clearly his sweet little head! I don't remember if I have ever felt anything like this, it was so incredible and such an amazing bonding moment. I could really FEEL my baby, his whole little body (and he's still so little!), and it was almost as magical as holding him for a moment there. I called Neil in and said, "Feel the baby!" He hasn't shown much interest (again *sigh*) this pregnancy, and he did his usual sort of obliging face and put his hand on my tummy. I showed him the baby's foot and he felt it and said, "Oh yes!" as he usually does when I ask him to feel this or that, before removing his hand and getting back to whatever computer game or movie (yes, I am struggling slightly with this, but oh well) that he was watching. But this time I was in bed so he wasn't distracted by the TV or computer for once. Then I said, "You can feel his head really clearly!" and showed him where. He put his hand there and gasped, and his face changed so suddenly! He started feeling the baby's shape with more interest and followed the little back up to the leg. He said, "Amazing...." and then another one of our little boys called for his attention, so he stopped. But I'm glad he got to really feel the baby and have that moment of realisation that yes, there's a real baby in there! And he's ours. And he's getting bigger, getting ready to come out and join us, and be part of our family. I for one can't WAIT to meet him! I am unable to really explain how totally in love with him I am already. I'm just longing to hold him and see his sweet face, what he looks like. I can't wait to kiss his face and feel his warmth in my arms, and his skin against mine. My sweet baby boy! Somebody asked me today at the party when we were going to STOP having babies, hehe! And I said that I didn't know how I ever would. I really really really 100% mean that. I know one day that I WILL, obviously, one way or another. But I don't know how I'll ever WANT to stop, or be okay with that. I could honestly keep on having babies forever. I love it so very much, and it seems to just get more wonderful each and every time.
Well, I just feel full of praise to God all of a sudden, and I just want to say THANK YOU LORD for my sweet babies, and that you've opened my womb again and again! I'm so blessed, I can't believe it (there, I said it, haha!). Thank you Jesus.
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