Journal
Sign guestbook
Arthur's Mummy's Diary
Matthew's Belly Gallery
Nathan's Belly Gallery
Benjamin's Belly Gallery
My Fertility Friend Chart
2008-01-07 - 11.23pm��previous entry��next entry
35 weeks pregnant - think I've changed my mind....
Hmmm, I think I maybe possibly MIGHT have changed my mind about where to give birth.
It's a bit of a drawn out story as to why, and part of the reason is something I really need to write about at my other diary to explain properly, but it just seemed to be a step-by-step thing today. I'm not making much sense! I'll try to explain more simply:
1) On the news: Norovirus outbreak (horribly violent vomity bug) nationwide - advice given to avoid doctor's surgeries (something like 100 hospitals nationwide have CLOSED admissions due to being overrun with this horrible bug). Now, hands up who knows alllll about me and why this would be a biiig concern?! ;) Yes, I'm PETRIFIED of vomiting, on a good day. The prospect of a mild morning sickness heave scares the daylights out of me. This bug is MEAN AND NASTY. I am 35 weeks pregnant (35 weeks, can you believe it?!!) and have two very little children at home, one of whom is definitely a) susceptible to BAD versions of even simple tummy bugs, and b) showing signs of extreme anxiety over vomiting (sigh, my poor boy, it's SO not a nice fear to live with). I. DO. NOT. WANT. THAT. BUG. Under any circumstances. Soooo...
2) I decided there is no way I am attending any further antenatal appointments at my GP surgery or the hospital. My next one is scheduled for tomorrow with the midwife, and the one after that is a week later with my GP. I am phoning to cancel them. But that leaves me without antenatal care when I rather need it at this stage! Sooo...
3) I phoned the community midwives team this afternoon to ask if they do home visits at the end of pregnancy. I remember home visits both my other pregnancies, but I wondered if that was just because I was having a homebirth those times. So I asked, and the lady I spoke to (a receptionist for the midwives I think) confirmed that, yes, it's for women who are having homebirths. I explained that I had booked for homebirths twice before and had the late pregnancy home visits, but this time I am Group B Strep positive so I'm having the baby in hospital for IV antibiotics during labour, not a homebirth. But I do not want to attend appointments at clinics or the GP surgery because of the risk of Norovirus at this stage of my pregnancy. She sounded sympathetic and said she would leave a message for one of the midwives on my local team. She said they would hopefully get back to me this afternoon (they didn't) or tomorrow, but it was likely that they wouldn't do home visits for me. I could chat to them about my concerns though :S
4) It briefly flashed across my mind after the phone call, that if they refused to do the rest of my antenatal appts at home, to say, "Right then, I'm having a homebirth!" and be done with it! But I brushed the thought away at the time. Then...
5) I was reading Michelle's diary this evening after the boys were in bed for the night - she's due a week or two before me - and randomly read that she is taking high doses of Ester Vitamin C to apparently strengthen the amniotic sac, in the hopes of it staying intact till the end of labour (more comfy that way!). "What?!", thought I, having no idea what she was on about, BUT being aware of my own consumption of 1000mg Ester Vit C every night before bed for the last 2 months (has prevented three colds that the boys have had over the last month or so getting any further than the sore throat stage for me, yay!). Then I nosed at her comments and saw somebody saying that they had taken high dose Vit C for the same reason, due to having GROUP B STREP and wanting their sac to remain intact as long as possible for less chance of a GBS risk! I was instantly intrigued!
Last time I had a baby I was not taking vitamin C and my waters did not break until Matthew's head was literally crowning. I very likely was GBS positive that time too (with Arthur too, but I developed fever during labour with him (membranes ruptured hooooours earlier, so hmmm...) and was thus given IV antibiotics - never knew if I was GBS positive that pregnancy, but glad they treated the fever with the antibiotics as there probably WAS a risk for Arthur otherwise), but Matthew had next to no risk given that he was safely contained in his amniotic sac till he was almost out of me. THAT'S what I was hoping for again, back when I wanted to have another homebirth despite the GBS status. But I figured, you can't predict when your waters will break. So I am really intrigued about this idea that Vit C can strengthen the amniotic sac and reduce the risk of it breaking early. Thus...
6) I googled and did find evidence that Vit C reduces the risk of premature rupture of the membranes due to the way it can strengthen the amniotic sac. Yay!
7) I then re-read all my research links from before about Group B Strep, the risks, the treatment, the RISKS of the treatment, and homebirth with GBS. And really really started to wonder about ditching the hospital birth option and going back to the homebirth plan. I had also got to the point, though, where I thought even if I tested NEGATIVE for GBS at my 36 week appt, I would still go for the hospital birth, because of the house being tiny and the boys being everywhere and you just can't escape the NOISE and I didn't think it would be a good place to labour. Plus I did not want to upset them with making a ton of noise myself while giving birth!
But I have been thinking about it again. We still haven't put the boys into their to-be-shared bedroom (aaaargh, so little tiiiime!!!) but we WILL before Nathan arrives - we have to. We're still preparing the room but it's so slow. *sigh* Anyway, then we'll make OUR bedroom "ours" again, and no little people will have ownership of it, haha! So I was thinking, if I DID have a homebirth, and I was labouring or giving birth during the day, the boys' day would be largely uninterrupted as far as their usual activities go because I could shut myself in MY bedroom and not get in the way of the boys, nor them me.
If I was labouring or giving birth during their night-sleep time, I would be downstairs as usual, and both of them would be in the same bedroom, hopefully far enough away from noise, though the house is tiny! They don't tend to wake at all in the evenings any more even if we have somebody round and we're talking and laughing at the bottom of the stairs, etc, so that's good. IF they were at a light stage of sleep though, and I was wailing like a banshee (!!), it might be another matter! I would honestly try my darnedest to be aware of the need to hush a little, even in the throes of childbirth!
A wonderful plus would be that the boys would never need to be without Mummy or Daddy - although we'd be awfully busy (!), we would be HERE and the main thing we're concerned about with the hospital birth is the fact that we'll be distinctly ABSENT. I know they'd be well cared for by either my brother or my mum, and they might be FINE, but we honestly don't think they'll be all that happy about it, and we don't want anything rocking the boat with their acceptance of their new baby brother. So it would be GREAT to have him at home and keep the continuity for the boys.
I am also feeling more confident that I am not necessarily at much risk with the GBS. Especially if my waters break late like last time. The first midwife I spoke to about it told me that I could still go for a homebirth but that I would just need to assess the risks for myself - maybe if my waters broke early in labour I could make the call as to whether to go into hospital or not. Or I could stay home, and if I develop a fever during labour then obviously go in for IV antibiotics straight away. My actual risk for complications for Nathan if I DON'T develop a fever and my waters don't break early (before labour even starts, etc), is VERY low. Teeny tiny. And, interesting, significantly lower in the UK than in the US - hence why everyone is screened there and not here. One of the research articles I read tonight said that the risk in the UK compared to the US is so low that it makes the benefit of routine screening null and void really, which is why they don't do it. So that's all very encouraging.
Also, another plus - no further contact with hospitals and clinics/GP surgery! Which is exactly what I want. We are also seriously considering limiting our social activities till a month or so after Nathan is born (starting immediately) due to the Norovirus. I know that will sound CRAZY paranoid to many reading this, but we are talking about it rationally and seriously and weighing up the risks - me being this pregnant, Arthur being highly susceptible (he would undoubtedly require IV fluids in hospital as it's not uncommon with this particularly nasty bug, for little ones to need that, and he gets SO very violently sick with even simple throw-up-once-and-it's-all-over bugs), and his anxiety about it. Once Nathan is here, I know he'll be partially protected by my immune system but we are NOT willing to risk it while he's teeny tiny and new. There are 300 fatalities in a NORMAL year (this year is NOT normal - up to 50% of the population is expected to get this bug!) from Norovirus, mostly those at the extremes of age. So it IS a risk for us. And we think we are likely to hide away a bit for the rest of the season (till April-ish?? That's AGES, and we don't want to miss church, etc or keep the kids too isolated, obviously) but we're just weighing things up. I need to pray about it with somebody wise at church or something.
Anyway, that part is what I meant to write about in my arthursmummy journal. It's crazy to try and avoid getting sick when you have little ones, by isolating yourselves! We could get it anyway, despite our efforts, and we're not even SURE we want to go to such lengths - we're still discussing it most evenings at the moment! But it IS risky. Yes, yes, it's just a nasty tummy bug, it would be HORRIBLE but we'd get through it, and I'm sure there are readers out there who have been through it with little ones or diffficult circumstances and lived to tell the tale, etc, but we are just not convinced that it's worth putting ourselves at risk when there's an epidemic. So yeah. If Neil was working we'd have an increased risk so there would be generally less point in trying to protect ourselves, but he's not so we have sort of an opportunity to make ourselves less "available" to the bug for now. Which I think we will take. We'll see.
ANYWAY! The point is, it started the ball rolling for the homebirth thoughts, and now we've spent some time discussing it this evening, and both of us feel surprisingly comfortable with the idea of just phoning the community midwives tomorrow morning and saying, "I changed my mind! I want a homebirth. Please book me in!" :) So I think that is what I will do. I feel so comfortable with the decision, like it wasn't even one I needed to MAKE, it just fell into place and felt right. I am going into it (if I still feel the same way tomorrow morning!) with a very open mind though, and will probably check my temperature hourly during labour to monitor for signs of infection. I'm quite willing to go in for the IV antibiotics if I develop signs that I need them. And obviously things also hinge on when my waters break, so we'll see about that too. But I'm SO HAPPY to think that I get to stay in my little house, and not leave the little ones without Mummy or Daddy. They'll be so much happier with a relative looking after them if they are also aware that Mummy and Daddy are in the house too. Neil can also look after them as normal to some degree if my mum is with me while I'm in labour (and ohhh, what a lovely thought that is! I was not feeling 100% happy about not having her as one of my birth partners in hospital, since she would be looking after the boys at home instead) - they can switch back and forth and that will be a) fine and dandy with me, and b) totally non-traumatic for the boys. I'm sure they'll know something is up, but everything should feel almost as normal to them, which is what I wanted for them all along.
Also, they get to meet Nathan on their own terms, not in an unfamiliar place, and not immediately following a period of potentially anxiety-provoking absence of both their parents. Whatever they are doing in their normal day in their familiar home, suddenly there will be the moment where it's time to meet their new baby brother, and it should all flow smoothly in that respect for them. I'll be in the house till he arrives, then he'll arrive and they'll meet him, then I will remain in the house with him! I can't hope for a smoother transition, just as it was when Matthew was born.
A MAJOR plus for me is that I can fall knackeredly into my own bed - well, having first fallen into my own bathroom on the way to demonstrate my ability to pee and to be gently washed by my midwife before being escorted like half a dozen steps to a freshly changed bed with my new tiny boy close by. Now THAT is the way to start recovering from giving birth! I soooo want it. I hope I will not get too eager for it now that my mind has opened up to the homebirth plan again, with the obvious possibility that I might be in hospital for that stage after all.
So those are my thoughts on that! I'll update asap about what happens next, as I was supposed to have a 34 week appt last week, but it was New Year so I had to miss it. It's tomorrow instead but I'm cancelling it, and I don't know how soon they can come and catch up with me if I suddenly tell them I want a homebirth. They might need to process stuff about it first or something? I don't know. Anyway, maybe my 34 week appt will end up being skipped altogether? My next routine one is 36 weeks which is only next week, so...
I DID get a 34-week belly picture! At least it was taken at 34 weeks! But I still haven't got round to resizing it and uploading it to Photobucket, even though it's on the computer. I'm on the laptop most of the time, so I need to get time to do that on the computer, which has the TV for its monitor. Neil watches TV or plays his computer game most evenings after we chat and pray and stuff, so I don't often get the chance. I WILL upload it to the gallery soon! In 6 more days I'll be 36 weeks pregnant (wha?!?!) and it'll be time for another one!
Anyway, take my word for it - I'm huge. Huuuuuge. I am getting perlenty of comments from friends/family/absolute strangers - everyone really! Or looks - the wide-stretchy-eyed kind ;) I don't think I'm any bigger than the other pregnancies though. My THIGHS are. *sigh* Since yesterday they have started itching a little, especially round the back and at the top on the outsides, which is a good indication for me that they are outgrowing their skin. *sigh* With another 5 weeks to go, I feel sure more stretch marks are on the way for my poor chubba leggies.
My belly is also juuust beginning to itch a little on the most "stretched" area, which is the very front middle bit, above and below my tummy button. It's very hard to see the underside of my bump these days (!) but with some mild contorting (!) I was able to see that my previous stretch marks (Matthew's) are indeed at full stretch. They might not necessarily get any worse, but you never know. I think my belly has been this big before - I'm sure of it in fact, but I know my thighs have never known life like this before, haha!
Good gravy, I am getting strong Braxton Hicks these days. They are strong and frequent in the evenings now, every day, and can come every couple of minutes sometimes. Much less during the day, but still more noticable than a week or two ago. Some of them burn and hurt in a band round my lower tummy and back, and every evening there will be a few that I have to stop and breathe through.
Nathan is mostly with his back on my left still, but he does occasionally swing over to the other side. He did that today and it's oh-so-uncomfortable when he does! His feet pushing in the "wrong" side (which isn't used to the stimulation) really really hurts my skin/tissue as he does it and I feel kind of bruised afterwards for a while! When it does it on the side that's well accustomed to such abuse (haha!), it doesn't hurt, just sometimes gets uncomfortable with the pressure of his pushes. He is running RIGHT out of space in there. He mostly squirms or stretches his legs out by pushing his bottom right out and splinting his legs across the top of my bump, with his feet sticking out of the opposite side of the bump to his bottom! Arthur was just exactly the same - and he lay on the same side as Nathan too (Matthew lay on the opposite side and didn't seem to be so laterally positioned as Arthur and Nathan).
Nathan continues to get hiccups 5+ times a day and sometimes they are really strong and fast, poor love. He gets very squiggly and agitated with them sometimes. With running out of space, I can also feel *so clearly* when he turns his head this way and that. It grinds horribly on my bladder and cervix. It's not just that he's turning it from side to side - I can FEEL him sort of twisting it UP and grinding it upwards against my cervix (well, that's downwards isn't it, but upwards to his little upside-down self!). That particular manouver is quite painful. I also feel him fiddle and "ping" with his fingers on my bladder sometimes, which is a bit sharp-n-needly in the bladder infection sense while he's doing it, and makes me REALLY need to pee until he stops.
I do need to pee more than I used to, but often not much at a time. I don't think he's engaged though, right now. I think I am grateful for that! It's very uncomfortable to move about, get up from lying or sitting, walk, carry little people, etc. When I get a BH during the day when little people are on my person, it's almost unbearable to have any pressure from them on my tummy, or even nearby to my tummy.
The boys are asking to breastfeed a little more than is usual for them - both of them at the same time, which makes me wonder about my hormone levels, or just their sense of impending "something" around me. I remember Arthur significantly notching up his nursing sessions in the weeks before Matthew was born, and he got kind of clingy with it too, but I can't remember exactly how long before the birth that started.
The only other major thing to note this week is the onset of FUN FUN and oh-so-appropriately-timed pregnancy insomnia. Blah. I think I have been blessed not to have it worse though - lots of pregnant women suffer from it as part of pregnancy from much earlier. I seemed to be complaining of it around 34 weeks with both my other pregnancies, so I guess it's not unusual for me. Two nights ago I got NOT ONE WINK of sleep. Urgh. And last night I slept 2.30-4.10am and then only another hour from 5.30-6.30am. I have the precious luxury of an unemployed husband (!) so I can try to get more sleep in the day after the boys are awake, but nope, I could not get any even then. It's so annoying, because I am already so so tired doing nothing at all (frustrating!), but getting waaaay more so with no sleep. Tsk.
And, before I forget! This week sees a return of Crazy Pregnant DIY Lady! Yes folks, she's baaack! ;) Remember last pregnancy when I had to build a wooden toy unit from scratch for Arthur's toys?! It was like a craving, I could not stifle the urge and it overtook all my thinking, hehe! Well we have just re-arranged the living room furniture to fit a BabyDan playpen (to keep Nathan safe from stampeding brothers while I pee, etc!), and decided to get rid of a very battered TV unit (bonus: TV is now higher up on a shelf, thus boys do not have access to the "on" button every 10 seconds and have to ask permission to watch TV, yaaay!). Neil was/is going to take it to the tip, but said he thought they might not take assembled furniture (they probably do though), so wanted to dismantle it before taking it. I started to dismantle it while he shifted sofas and things, and once it became a pile of planks and screws, that Crazy Pregnant DIY Lady came alive in me and started scheming and plotting frugal ways to recycle that wood for something we need!
So today while the boys were at the park with Neil, I sawed and sawed and sanded, and now I have pieces all ready to assemble for an under-cot drawer to store some of Nathan's things! Yay! I was thinking we really need some storage solutions like under-cot storage, because we have such a tiny house and plenty of people in it, and need to use all the space we can. But we have no money to buy anything new. I thought we'd maybe buy a couple of shallow plastic tubs with lids for under the cots (Matthew's as well, for toys in the boys' room, or bedlinen) - Wilkinsons is selling them for �3 each at the moment so it COULD be done cheaply. But it's still �3 each, and suddenly I saw a way of building an under-cot storage box that would be wooden (okay, cheapo wood effect, but wooden-looking!) and fill the exact space I want it to! It's shallower than I hoped, but I used the planks as they were, where possible, to minimise the amount of somewhat amateur sawing required! Anyway I can't wait to get brackets and screws and assemble it! It isn't too pretty, because some of the ends are raw, and also there are screw holes in odd places where the old piece of furniture was assembled. But who cares, it's solid, it holds teeny baby clothes and teenier nappies, and it will do a good job for us, largely out of sight under Nathan's cot!
Problem is, there is some wood left over and (I can't help myself!!) I have thoughts running through my mind about some sort of "shoe holding" shelves in the porch under the coats. And maybe another drawer type thingy for under Matthew's cot, if there's enough leftover wood. But we'll see. It's hard to saw!
I'm watching BabyDan playpens on eBay at the moment. We'll be buying from there. And I found a mattress for Nathan's cot at Mothercare that we'll buy. I was going to buy a cheaper one at eBay, but then found we still have �45 of Mothercare vouchers from various lovely gifts after Matthew was born!!! So that will cover most of the cost of a mattress, and we'll spend less actual cash of our own on a mattress that way, so yay! We have to go and buy that soon. I need to check the one we want is in stock first though. No point just yet, as the cot is still in the loft right now.
Ohhh, Nathan has rolled again! He's pushing his foot RIGHT out on my "wrong" side and it hurts! But he's so cute when he does that, and I LOVE it really, so it doesn't matter :) I already feel sad and wistful that there's only a few weeks left. I can't BELIEVE there are only a few weeks left already! It has gone crazy fast. I know they'll zip by and then it will all be over, and I'm sooooooooo excited to meet my tiny person and have him with us all the time as part of our family! I can't wait to watch him grow and change and see how the boys interact with him. I can't wait. But I will miss being pregnant with him! I always do. It's such a precious gift, to be able to experience, and I know it will be nooo time at all before I'm longing to experience it again. I never think, "Phew! So glad that's over!" or have any sort of a gap where I'm NOT looking forward to pregnancy, after giving birth! I just love it so much. I'm sad that my third precious experience of it is nearly over - 3 down! It's such a shame to have all that loveliness in the past behind me, just a memory. But so wonderful to have 3 little lovelies in my life always as a result!
Nathan is now so newborn-ish. He has wake/sleep cycles. He weighs over 5lbs 5oz already! He is 18 inches long. Babies are just beginning to be born at my Feb due dates group and they are so normal looking, like full-term newborns! Just tiny. They do ever so well at this stage, generally. I'm so excited to meet my little one!
Okay that's all for now. I'll update again soon hopefully! And even if I get to 36 weeks with a new belly pic, I will definitely put the 34-week one in front of it! Hope to do that before 36 weeks though.
Oh! Meg, thank you for your sweet message (and emails!)! Babykind contacted me to say they were sorry but they were out of stock on those XS Fuzzi Bunz after all :( So I ordered two white ones from another UK site (can't remember which!), and then the cheapest way to buy any coloured ones was from the States. I bought 2 butter yellow ones from one online store in the States, and 2 baby blue ones from another place. Shipping costs weren't too bad, and the exchange rate makes it a pretty good deal right now! :) The white ones arrived this morning! They are so tiny! Not as tiny as I expected for some reason, but still teeny weeny :) I will try to catch up with emails soon. xxx
Recent entries.....
Babies 7 and 8! :) - 2016-01-10
Babies 6 and 7! - 2013-02-17
Baby #5 !! - 2010-04-03
Nearly 3 months postpartum! - 2009-10-05
6 weeks old already! - 2009-08-25