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2008-01-08 - 10.49pm��previous entry��next entry
35 weeks, 2 days - update on yesterday and slight non-pregnancy-related rant (!!)
Thank you for the homebirth support! :)
I cancelled today's antenatal appointment as planned, and phoned the Community Midwives team today. I got to speak to the manager of the team which was good - her name is Pat and she's the midwife who was my named midwife through my pregnancy with Arthur! She also did a couple of my late pregnancy home visits (with her student who was supposed to be at Matthew's birth, remember?!) last time round. The first thing she said was congratulations and asked how old the little ones are now. When I said they were 3 and 18 months, she said I was certainly keeping myself busy, haha! ;)
Anyway. This midwife has always been described as very pro-homebirth, but she wasn't too supportive about my plans to have my first baby at home, so that surprised me. She was fine with #2 though. And she's the midwife who my booking appt midwife went to for advice on my behalf, when I told her I wanted a homebirth but I was Group B Strep positive. So I knew she'd said that they have to say I should go in, but that it's up to me to weigh up the risks.
Today she was very nice, etc, but kind of left me feeling a bit weird about the homebirth idea, in terms of the GBS thing. She kept saying their guidelines say they MUST recommend going in for IV antibiotics during labour, and she also kept emphasising that I could go in, get a dose of it, and go home RIGHT after giving birth (implying that it wouldn't be all that bad), but for me that's the whole point! I mean, I would be labouring and birthing in hospital, and finally allowed to come home "instantly" at the very time I know my body won't be capable of doing so. I really don't want to be in hospital. And also, I am really not sure I want to have antibiotics at all, for myself or Nathan.
She kept saying about the risk to the baby, and reminding me that it was all about the risks to him, etc, nothing else. Which makes me feel like either I should cave and go into hospital and get the antibiotics, OR stick to my well-researched guns and stay at home, all the while being unable to shift this new feeling of selfish guilt for putting my baby at risk for the sake of wanting to give birth at home. But I think I AM thinking of him too - I really don't think it's about me so much. It's what *I* want, obviously, but I was going to ditch that when I thought it was absolutely not the best thing for Nathan. Now I'm not so sure. A lot of the research I'm reading seems to indicate that (in this country) antibiotics thrown at every pregnant woman who is GBS positive is NOT necessarily a good thing, for her, the baby, OR the general trend of antibiotic resistant bacteria - did you know that penicillin is now the only antibiotic worth using against GBS, as amoxycillin and amphicillin (might have got that last one wrong!) are now all but useless against it, having been so "overused" (not my word!) that GBS has become resistant to it. Scary stuff. Another article said about the fact that 1 in 10,000 women will have an anaphylactic shock reaction and DIE from the IV antibiotic for GBS, and likely risk her baby's life too. They compared that risk to the baby with the actual risk of the baby DYING from GBS-related complications, and it basically evened out completely, as in, no greater risk to the baby from NOT getting the antibiotics compared with the mother GETTING them during labour. It isn't the case in the States though, as the number of cases are higher per 1000 than here.
Anyway. From what I am reading, it seems to be perfectly safe for the little one if I carefully watch for increased risk signs, like fever during labour, waters breaking early, or labour earlier than 37 weeks, etc. So I told Pat this, saying that I wanted to be at home but keep a check on my temperature to detect fever, and if there was one at any point, to go straight in. And to be open-minded about what to do depending on when my waters break, etc. I told her that my waters did not break with my last baby till his head was crowning, so I sort of hoped for the same this time! ;) She just didn't seem too thrilled or encouraging about the idea, which I guess I felt disappointed about, given who she was. I now feel like I'm doing something wrong by sticking to going for a homebirth, and being selfish and neglectful of Nathan's needs, which feels HORRIBLE!
Urgh.
She also fairly insisted (well, not insisted but pressed the issue saying it would be a good idea, etc) that I make an appt to go and see the consultant at the hospital either this week or next week to discuss it. Ugggghhhh. I said yes, because I'm a wuss, and chose next Friday (not this one), so she'll get in touch with me to tell me the exact time of the appt she's made for me. I sooooooooooo don't want to go to that. I'm annoyed that I said yes! I don't see the point. She said it would be good to discuss the risks and what the procedures would be, and so on. But I can pretty much guarantee that a consultant will be 100% anti-homebirth in this situation, and basically try to talk me out of it and over-emphasise the risks, etc. So what is the point of going to an appt where the aim is to bully/scare/intimidate me out of my decision to give birth at home? I already know the risks because I have researched really carefully. I told Pat I had done so too, but hey ho.
Anyway. For now, I am booked for a homebirth, and I get a home appt (yay!) this coming Friday morning! I'll be almost 36 weeks, so whoever does my appt (probably my usual midwife from my doctor's surgery) will do my repeat swab to check my GBS status. I have read some wacky ideas for treating it naturally in the run up to repeat swabs! Most involve sticking a clove of garlic up your hoo-hoo overnight for 1-2 weeks before the swab! And eating the stuff raw too. Yeurgh. I know garlic is wonderful stuff against bacteria, viruses and fungal infections, but I don't think I am going to do the garlic stuff! I read for a couple of hours about it online and still found plenty of women who had "heavy colonisation" of GBS after doing the garlic thing at both ends (!), even though some also tested negative. Neil and I are just praying and praying that I will test negative. The practical likelihood is that I will test positive - quite a strong likelihood actually. But we'll pray. If I test positive then I guess I continue to press for the homebirth and take all the precautions I can, OR change my mind again and go in. I don't know. I just sooooo hope I somehow test negative and it all doesn't matter any more and I get my uncomplicated homebirth again! Please can you pray for me, if you pray. I would so appreciate all the anti-bacterial prayers you can offer for me! :)
So that is the latest on that.
Also (re. Jemma's comment) I just wanted to clarify:
* We don't keep our boys isolated from illness! They go to church creche and to the mother-and-toddler church group (it's only once a fortnight, but still) and I'm perfectly open to them catching whatever crops up there. I DID remove them from a very large playgroup where we caught something every time we went. They have plenty of exposure to colds and viruses, and like I said, have had 3 in the past month or two.
* Simple bugs DON'T affect them badly! Like I said last entry, Arthur suffers from tummy things badly, but I'm totally convinced that it's his makeup, not how we've exposed him to stuff. It's the same with lots of kids, exposed plenty or not - some are just the types who get things badly, and others are not. Neil was always the child in his family (of four kids) who got every virus really badly, worse than his siblings. They were all well exposed to other kids and bugs, and none more or less than each other. I, on the other hand, always got mild versions of everything my poor brother suffered with horribly! In general, if we had a tummy bug, he's throw up aplenty and I'd feel sick with some diarrhoea and that would be it really. He got horrible colds and has only in adulthood started getting colds less frequently and more mildly.
Matthew has so far exhibited a really strong immune system! He gets just as "little" exposure to bugs as Arthur and they always share germs with each other. But two of the three colds we've had in the house this past month or so, Matthew hasn't even caught at ALL, and they share drinks and the breast all the time, so I know he was exposed. Arthur's colds this winter have been the mildest he's ever had them - 3 mild mild colds in a row that never ended up with horrible congestion, just sore throat and runny nose.
I'm sure if they went to playgroup they'd be ill ALL the time, as that's just normal. But the things they catch in general are not severe, and Matthew's little 18-month-old immune system actually fights them off so that he doesn't even suffer them, which amazes me! I used to put it down to the fact that I'm breastfeeding them still, but I don't think it's just that. Arthur is a more susceptible child, just by the way he's made up, and Matthew isn't. The last tummy bug we all had was brought to us through Matthew, and he threw up once and that was his only symptom. The adults who got it threw up once or twice and also had some "other end" issues! Arthur threw up violently seven times and was miserably ill for 2 days, poor love. He just IS with stomach things, it's not because of what we're doing with the boys.
Anyway. I just... sort of felt the need/desire to stand up for myself a little on that issue!
We know the season is long for Norovirus (again, like I said in my last entry). We would be looking at keeping a low profile till April, which, so long as it was a WARM April, really would be the end of the season. I know my stuff - Norovirus is around all year, but the season for the epidemic is the winter (cold) months. The last time I had a tummy bug (which was a pretty horrid one) was April as well, so I know it's still about then. Nathan would still only be about 6 weeks old at the beginning of April anyway so we were considering that to be on the early side for exposing ourselves as a family in any case.
We still might not go crazy paranoid! I'm just saying that for us, there seems enough reason to take extra precautions to avoid it. A proper epidemic isn't going to listen much to extra vitamins, and we'd rather avoid it than get it, weighing up the risks for our family.
One last thing, and then I promise I'll stop! ;) We don't stay inside all the time, even when we are doing something like this! My children will not make it to 11am (seriously) without going out of the house. They climb the walls! Every single day they go out, no matter the weather, before lunchtime. It has been many months since they've missed a day of doing that, but back when they occasionally DID miss a morning out, they were a nightmare to handle that afternoon! They are normal kids and we aren't keeping them from what is healthy for them. We are just tailoring our outings so that they are having less contact with germy places or a bunch of kids, and more splashing in puddles, running in the park, and long tiring walks, lol! They are perfectly happy.
To be honest, I'm LONGING for the boys to get chicken pox! I so want that one out of the way when they're little. If it wasn't for the other fever/cold bug at Jemma's house, I think I would have probably asked if we could visit (gasp - is that bad to knowingly expose my kids to illness?!) while Jove has chicken pox to expose them to it. Well, maybe if it wasn't QUITE so close to the end of my pregnancy and I knew for SURE from Neil's mum (must ask her!) that Neil has had chicken pox. Bad baaad news if he hasn't, and I don't think MIL has got a good memory for which of her kids had what, and didn't write it down (tsk!) - which is actually why I sent Neil to the nurse for his MMR a few years back when there was a local outbreak of mumps, hehe! MIL didn't know if he'd had it, and I KNOW that if he got it he would have ended up sterile, which *clutches throat* would NEVER do, hehehe! ;) So he had the MMR.
But anyway. I'm sorry if I seem overly defensive in what I have written this entry. I admit I FELT defensive, a little. I know lots of people won't agree with our kids getting comparatively little contact with other children and thus a bunch of other germs all the time, but we are not being bad parents or locking down on our children to avoid bugs. I actually don't agree that children need to be exposed to a billion viruses to make them strong and healthy. The BEST way to do that for the immune system is not exposure to viruses (though it will do the same job, if that's the way it goes), but exposure to endotoxins. Your best source for those would be poo. Yes, poo. Hence the mighty strong immune systems of children in large families brought up (fairly isolated, by the by) on farms (I read research) - they have the most exposure to trace amounts of faeces than any other selection of children. They don't get sick from their immune-strengthening. That seems so much more natural to me, than letting the poor mites get so sick with everything hammering their immune system all the time. Anyway, that is just my take on it. We don't live with animals or a bunch of children (yet!), so I guess my boys have little exposure to poo (!) other than each other's! I do wonder about Matthew's immune system being so strong though - he has licked floors and horrible bits of scum everywhere we have been since he was able to lift his head and lick! Since about 4 months old, maybe earlier. I have not been fussy about it, just let him do it really. It was actually really hard to stop him and I knew it was probably doing great stuff for his immune system! Some mothers at Fellowship Group one time were sat horrified, watching him lick the floor boards at the house we were meeting in, when he was about 6 months old! When they asked me about it, I said, "Oh yes, he does that..." and they said he must have a good immune system then! So I wonder if he's built up his own system? He never got sick from licking floors, so I'm happy for him if that's how he's done it! And VERY happy for them not to be suffering from horrible viruses every other week/month in the mean time. They are getting a good head start with the very extended breastfeeding as well.
Okay, that is all! I really should have written all that in my arthursmummy diary because it has no relevance to pregnancy at all! But it just spilled out in response to a comment here at this diary, so.... It's not that I have bad feelings (honestly Jemma! I appreciate your honesty and esp. the homebirth support!), I just felt I wanted to clarify some points that weren't actually true for us and stand up for myself a bit!
Oooh and I finally got my 34-week belly picture in the gallery! Nathan is sticking out more than 2 weeks ago. I think he's not quite so low as he was then, but the picture seems to show the same kind of height (very low!), bump-wise. Neil says I'm bigger than I was last week already, so we'll see how the 36 week picture compares this weekend! I can't believe I'll be 36 weeks pregnant this weekend! And full-term (as in, "any time you're ready, Nathan!" Yikes!) in 12 days!!!! It's the 8th today, so in 2 days I will have just ONE MONTH to go till my due date! Crazy soon. I'm excited! But there's still so much to doooo.
Little boy has had hiccups 5 times already today, and the evening is usually his busiest time for hiccups (and all other activity for that matter). I can't wait to meet him and see what he looks like! :)
[Edited to add, 5 minutes after posting the entry - tiny boy has hiccups again :) I just love him so much already! *sigh*]
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