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2005-10-24 - 10.51pm��previous entry��next entry
7 weeks, 5 days pregnant, yay!!
Here is what I wrote at 3 weeks and 6 days pregnant:
"The main thing on my mind at the moment is that I seem really scared that this pregnancy is not going to stick. I don't know why, but I just am. I barely believe I AM pregnant, it just seems too.... unlikely. Surreal. Something. I don't want to think of names or antenatal appointments because it feels like I can't even see myself getting that far along, so getting attached by doing those things would be a bad idea. I have a pregnant friend online whose ticker says 7w5d, and I couldn't imagine being 7w5d pregnant with this baby. Like I wonder if it will even happen. So I set that as a mental marker in my mind. At 7w5d, I wonder what I'll be doing, how I'll be feeling. What my situation will be. Will I still be pregnant? Will I have morning sickness big time? Will I feel differently about the pregnancy, safer and more confident? Whatever is happening on the day I am 7w5d, I hope I remember today and think of how I'm feeling now. I hope it will be reassuring when I'm there."
Yay yay yay yay, I'm THERE!!!! I'm 7w5d today!! I'm so glad I am here, because it really was a mental hurdle for me after that day. I wanted to remember how I felt then on this day.
So I am still here! I am still pregnant. I AM morning sick and I feel dreadful all the time I am awake but that's okay. It will pass eventually and I'm getting through it. I'm still managing to eat and drink vaguely adequate amounts, and the days are passing WAY faster than this stage last pregnancy, which I am very thankful for! I think it has to do with having a very busy and active little one to look after. It's hard but I am so glad to be here!!! I DO feel differently about my pregnancy now because I have had the scan. Also I feel confident about it in any case. I just FEEL so pregnant now. I'm so happy to be 7w5d pregnant!! :)
My poor friend who WAS 7w5d pregnant and miscarried at 10 weeks, has a new complication. It looks like her pregnancy was a partial molar pregnancy. Now she is waiting for results of tests and hoping that she "only" miscarried. If it WAS a partial molar pregnancy, she will have to wait up to a year to TTC again, and may need chemotherapy in the meantime. I am usually a fountain of information (haha!) but please google molar pregnancy if you are curious. I feel too sick to do the searching and educating right now.
I HAVE to update my other diary tonight, no matter how grim I feel. I have things to say and I feel like I haven't updated there in ages. I really really want to be writing my diaries as normal and keeping up with my favourite diaries at Diaryland but I just can't at the moment. I can't wait till I feel better, for those things alone!
Thank you to everyone for the lovely guestbook messages and notes and things! I really appreciate them all! It's great to hear from some new people! I know you guys have asked me to email you with advice or just to chat about our pregnancies, but I am so sorry, I just can't right now. When I feel better I will try and get to that. After I have done this entry I will try to eat some dinner, and then I will see if I can manage to update my other diary. Other than that there is no way I can get any other online things done at the moment. I keep up with my online group where my friend that I mentioned above hangs out, as much as I can. I am barely even checking my emails at the moment. I am just saying all this so that nobody feels hurt that I am not returning emails or signing guestbooks at the moment. I am simply not getting chance to even read diaries, it's not anything personal.
Okay, I ate dinner and it's way later than I hoped now. I felt too sick to eat it for a long while but I ate nearly all of it in the end :) It's 10.30pm now so I think I have run out of time to update my other diary. I am so bummed. I NEED to update some things about Arthur, or they will be old news in no time. Neil has gone out to the supermarket because I am just crap and even though I'm a stay-at-home-mummy I don't seem to be able to even get dressed most days, and am struggling to get out of the house with Arthur. This means no food shopping gets done, so poor Neil is out getting milk and stuff. We have hardly anything left in the house all of a sudden - except for plenty of things for Arthur! I need a shower. I am going to shower tomorrow morning and then maybe I will feel a little better to start my day? At least I'll be clean and dressed then, if nothing else! But I suck right now.
I have had some really painful sharp ligament pains lately, like when I sneeze in bed and I'm not lying completely straight at the same time. I like those :) They remind me of normal pregnancy stuff from last time. Also I am way more tired suddenly. I just feel like I took a sleeping pill or something. I could sleep a full night's sleep at any given moment, I swear! Not that I ever get one though, so maybe that's part of the reason? Last night was a BAD one. Arthur woke every NINETY MINUTES from his bedtime till 6am wanting to nurse. I went to bed at 8pm, I was soooooo tired, but I couldn't sleep till midnight and then Neil got up with Arthur and I got to go back to bed for maybe an hour or so more, but I couldn't go back to sleep :(
I hope time passes quickly till the end of my first trimester. I feel like a crappy mummy and wife right now. I feel sick, and tired. I am glad of the symptoms because they reassure me that all is well, and I'm GLAD to be pregnant. But I forgot this stage can be sooo hard. I think I finally stopped with the morning sickness around 18 weeks last time, but it was much more manageable from 14 weeks, so I'm looking forward to then!
Okay there are things to update about Sprout's development but my stupid modem has gone all slow on me and won't open the pages that have the info on, tsk! So I can't update. Oh but I know that Sprout has visible "digital rays" on his/her hands! Fingers and thumbs developing!! And the feet are getting ready for the toes to start forming. I know the eyes are very distinct now and there is a new fourth ventricle of the brain. Sprout's average heartrate is 160 and his/her length is 14.5mm!!! Getting big! Okay, still tiiiiiiny, but still pretty good going for this early on in development!
Oooh yay, the info pages are working again! :) So today is something like 40 days post ovulation. I just read that at approximately 41 days post ovulation, Sprout has a four-chambered heart and a sense of smell!!! Oh my gosh, the pace of development is truly astounding. My baby has teeth buds beginning to form in a brand new jaw! Facial muscles are developing and the part of the brain is developing in leaps and bounds. The newest thing is that part of the brain that gives us a sense of smell. The ear is becoming recognisable. The pituitary gland is beginning to form, and the trachea, larynx and bronchi start as well. The diaphragm is forming and the intestines are starting to develop within the umbilical cord (they'll migrate to Sprout's body later when it is big enough to accommodate them. Also - so amazing - I love this sentence about Sprout's development around now - "Primitive germ cells arrive at the genital area and will respond to genetic instructions to develop into either female or male genitals."
Isn't it just SO amazing all the stuff that Sprout is doing right now?! I love that already he/she is making a start on the bits that I am going to be craning my neck to see in about 13 weeks, hehe!
Neil sent me an email from work today with just the title, "How about ____ for a girl???" I love that he's doing this again! I got the odd random email with name suggestions from Neil's workplace last pregnancy too :) I love that he's out there at work daydreaming about our new baby :) Anyway, I think the name he suggested for a girl is okay, so it goes on the list. Not 100% sure about it though, as I had not considered it before. We'll see. I still feel confident on the one full name we have chosen for a boy, but we're still really struggling with girl names. But there's a while to go before it matters yet, so that's okay.
Okay, I think I will try to update a super short entry for my other diary. Otherwise it is going to do my head in!
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