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2004-05-04 - 12.25pm��previous entry��next entry
13 weeks, 4 days - happy happy :)
I'm back again, but only because I'm still besotted and it's all I want to talk about! :)
I did think about putting the ultrasound pic in my layout, but I don't know.... I don't want this diary to get toooo personalised to this baby, because I intend to use it for each of my pregnancies. I know if it turns into a diary with my baby's pictures all over the layout it will become a diary for Bean forever! And I really wanted to use it every time I am pregnant, and go back to my normal diary for everyday motherhood ramblings after the baby is born.
This morning Neil and I listened in with the doppler for a while, and Bean's heartrate was 153!!! That's the lowest yet, so maybe it's not quite looking so old-wivesy-girlie anymore? Bean was poking right out of my tummy when I woke up this morning so we wasted no time and poked him/her with the doppler - aren't we nosey?! Hehe! The heartbeat is soooo clear and noisy when Bean is poking out like that.
Anyway while we were listening I thought I felt little bumply movements just beyond where I was putting a bit of pressure on with the doppler wand. I got waaaay excited and could often feel bumples at the same time as a few splatching sounds erupted from the doppler. I even switched the doppler off but left the wand in the same place, just incase I was imagining the feelings because I could hear movements on the doppler. But I could still feel the odd bumple. But then Neil came along and wanted to put his hand where the bumply feeling was, and he got all excited and said he could feel (though just barely) a slight ripply feel right where I was describing the feelings. So I think that is way way way too early for it to be possible, so it's more likely we were lovingly caressing some wind in my bowel, hehehe! Oh well. I need to be more patient :)
After the super active bumpling session, Bean's heartrate was back up to 164. Bean is lying across my tummy at the moment, with his/her back pushing out. I can feel the weird little pressure even as I type this, it's so weird and amazing. This morning the lump was so hard at one end, Neil got quite squeamish when he felt it! He said it was like a bone sticking out of my soft tummy. Which actually is quite accurate, just not one of MY bones :)
I am floating round the house in awe of the fact that I'm going to have a baby. It feels like it's brand new information to my brain, it's so weird! Like I never really knew it before, and now I've got "the news", it's too wonderful for words and I can hardly take it in. I feel so excited now about the baby, because in the last few days allll my fears have melted away about losing the baby, and no matter how hard I tried to shove them down before, they were still so big. Now they are gone, and it leaves me able to fall in love with Bean and look forward to meeting him/her and getting ready for her/him with much more confidence.
This morning I did some baby shopping online!!! I am excited about that, it's so much fun! Last time we tried to go shopping for baby things, I got all scared at the last minute in the shop and wouldn't buy anything incase we would still lose the baby. But today I went to the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) shop online and bought three things!! Yay! I bought a pregnant-person seatbelt for the car. I had it on my list before getting pregnant, but I am constantly uncomfortable in the car now, under the normal seat belt. It presses right where Bean is, and I hate the thought that a sudden stop might squeeze the belt too hard where I don't want to be squeezed. So I ordered a pregnancy-safe one :) And a plain white PVC changing mat which exactly fits the top of our changing unit. You can buy covers, but I didn't because I plan to make my own changing mat covers with fleece and pretty cotton prints and lovely stuff like that! Yay! And it made it really really cheap just to buy a plain white one without covers :)
The other thing I finally bought was the Sign With Your Baby video/books/manual set. It's expensive, but I know it's going to be worth it. Neil and I really want to sign with Bean, so we would have been buying this at some point anyway. I figured it would be good to buy something big now, otherwise we're gonna just have a ton to spend in the last month or two of pregnancy when we finally go, "Ohhh there's so much we still need!!"
So I can't wait for those to arrive. Buying things that will be used when Bean is finally here is so exciting. It makes me impatient to hold my baby and start getting to know him/her in person. Last week I never thought I'd be saying that for a long time yet, but this week everything has changed. Last week I felt like I did not mind one BIT waiting another 6 months until it was time for Bean to be born, because I didn't feel ready for him/her yet, emotionally, mentally, physically, practically, etc. But this week.... I still don't feel ready, but the longing is there now. Now I can feel Bean when I touch my tummy, I long to sort of unzip my tummy and cuddle my baby! Crazy I know, but there we go! :)
Well there's not much other news really. My cold is getting better, though I am still pretty congested and can't taste or smell still. This has it's advantages, like being able to go straight into the bathroom to brush my teeth or something right after Neil just spent half an hour in there!! ;) I have had a pretty bad cough throughout this time and last night I strained a muscle in my ribs coughing, but that tends to happen to me when coughs go on for long enough, and it will get better soon.
Oooh last night I woke up in the middle of the night and rolled over onto my front, which was uncomfy so I sort of stayed on my front but propped one leg out like a "stand" so that there would be a little gap between my stomach and the mattress on that side - I love my tummy-sleep! Anyway then I fell back to sleep, but I woke an hour later in sooooo much pain!! That side of my pelvis felt like I'd dislocated some part of the joint! I couldn't even roll over in bed or move that hip at all, it was awful. I managed to get over onto my back eventually, and then I couldn't lift my leg for the sharp pain in the back of my pelvis. So I just prayed and kept still in a straight position so that it didn't hurt, and went back to sleep. Thankfully when I woke up this morning the pain was gone. I guess I need to learn that my body is producing plenty of relaxin now, and my ligaments are soft enough for my joints to move out of place a bit if I pressurise them into awkward positions and hold it there for an hour!! Silly girl. So tummy-sleep is gone for a long time :( But oh well. Who CARES, I'm having a baby!!! Wheeeeee!!! I am just so excited!
I feel sick at the moment so I should get some food. I feel like I only just ate breakfast (well, about an hour and a half ago - we slept in today), but I guess I am hungry again. I hate feeling sick but just lately nothing can burst my happy pregnant bubble, even nausea! :D Yay!
Oh and my suedecloth FINALLY arrived from the States this morning! Yay! I never saw suedecloth before, it's a new fabric for using on the inner part of nappies (the bit that touches the baby's skin), because it wicks moisture away from the baby but doesn't wear or bobble like microfleece! It is soft, but I don't think it's as soft as microfleece myself. I got a couple of yards each of white and beige. I don't know WHY I got white - I have reams of white fabrics - microfleece, sherpa, etc, that can be used on the inside of nappies, but oh well. The beige is lovely and will come in VERY handy with some fabrics that have unusual colours in that I haven't been able to match with other colours yet.
Neil said when am I ever going to use all the fabric I've got?! He's right, I have sooo much, and lately I haven't been sewing at all. I have soooo many nappies already, I am going to have way too many. But I have some gorgeous gorgeous fabrics and it would just be an absolute crime not to make them up into nappies, even if it means my baby has 50 thousand of the things! So I will get back to sewing nappies eventually.
Bean is sticking out of my right abdomen and it feels kind of uncomfy, and I feel really gross and queasy so I'm going to go and eat and stroke my little bulge for a while :) I'm sure I'll be back again soon though. By the way, can you believe there's only 3 days till I'm 14 weeks?!!! Wow, it's all so exciting!!! :D
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