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2004-05-03 - 3.12pm��previous entry��next entry
13 weeks, 3 days - movements
Wow! Thank you for all the lovely comments about my baby's first picture! :) I have been hesistant to write another entry since posting about the scan and putting the pictures up, because I have to admit, I keep opening up my diary just to gaze at Bean's image on the screen and I am loathed to cover it up with a new entry. I have the actual scan picture near me at all times - usually it's on the phone, balanced above the number buttons, so it's hard to miss! If I go somewhere far enough away from the phone so that I can't see Bean's picture, I pick it up and take it with me. Right now it's on the phone which is out of sight over the armchair, so when I use the computer I keep leaning over the armchair for another glimpse! Last night I said goodnight to it as I went up to bed - maaan I need to get a grip! Hello?! The baby is INSIDE me, not balanced on the phone!
I am now feeling movements several times a day, spread out throughout the day usually, but there's often a particularly active time when I feel several shoves or pushes in an hour or so. I have tried lying on my back with my hand resting firmly on my tummy and waiting and waiting, straining to feel any sort of flutter or bubbly sensation, but I can't feel anything like that yet. I know it's too early and I shouldn't bother looking for it just yet, but I can't help it! I'm too eager. I wondered the other day, because one time when I was doing that I thought I felt something vaguely bubbly very very low, like down by my bladder or cervix. Lower than my bowel anyway. And it wasn't like big bubbles or flutters, it was barely perceptible, more like prickles or froth popping as opposed to bigger bubbles. But I haven't felt that since and I'm wondering if it was nothing after all.
But the types of movements that I DO feel are getting stronger. Not a lot stronger yet, but a particularly strong shove will completely distract me from whatever I'm doing. It feels as though Bean is pushing right through my abdominal wall and I can't help but put my hand there when I feel it, almost as if to reassure myself that my abdomen in still intact! I hope Bean gets gentler as she/he gets bigger, otherwise movements like this at 20 weeks are going to practically heave me out of bed in the night!! But somehow I don't think it's likely that Bean's movements are going to get any gentler! I can feel these movements really clearly if I am lying on my back or reclining on my back, but over the last 2 days for the first time I have been able to feel them sitting upright too if they are particularly strong movements!
I love love LOVE when Bean flips to a different position and suddenly there's a softly rounded lump poking out of my tummy a couple of inches below my tummy button. I love it because I can lay my hand on the little rounded shape and know that I'm almost touching my baby. It's getting a little clearer to know which part of the baby is sticking out. The baby is only 3 inches from crown to rump, so still too tiny to really tell which end is which, especially since I don't feel kicking yet. But I can feel if it's a little "end" part (head or bottom), and today I felt sure a particularly hard and rounded lump (about an inch and a half across) was a little head and not a bottom. I can tell if it's an end-part or if it's the length of the baby's back, but if it is lying facing up then I can't even tell if it's there. I have to be able to feel a hard or firm body part and so far those are only the head and back mostly.
I love it the most when Bean flips and shoves his/her back up against my tummy. This happens at least once a day, and today it was perfect because Bean was lying transverse, right across my bikini line. I could feel the length of his/her back and where it started to dip away towards either end as it curved in towards the bottom and the head. I love to rest my hand on this firm resistance. I stroke it as though Bean can really feel my touch, as if I am soothing my little one by rubbing its little back. I can't seem to help being this mushy about it. The combination of the ultrasound picture and being able to feel my baby when I touch my stomach is doing weird things to my insides and my emotions. I could happily do nothing else for the rest of all eternity but sit in blissful contact with my baby and let all the feelings it brings wash over me. It's crazy how strong these feelings are. I am absolutely besotted.
This morning I was in a grumpy mood because my cold is STILL horrible and I can't breathe or taste or smell STILL, and I didn't sleep well, and had a congestion headache and I was pottering around feeling bored and irritable. Neil was watching something rubbish on TV which bugged me a lot for some reason (!!), so I came upstairs and flopped on the bed to read a good book and try to shake off my bad mood. The moment I leaned back against the pillows, Bean shoved me like never before, it almost took my breath away! It's not comfortable when Bean does that, but I like it anyway because it's my baby. Anyway I put my hand down to my tummy and there was the little back pressed up against my tummy. It was like magic balm to my mood! I was instantly saying, "Hello my sweetheart!" to my tummy and grinning from ear to ear for the next half hour until Bean moved away again :) I love my baby sooooooo much. Really.
I love to talk to Bean, especially when having a moment of "contact" like that. I talk of little else to anyone at the moment, and I'm constantly sopping like syrup over my little bump and calling to Neil to come and "Feel Bean!!" He is being patient so far! :) He is amazed to be able to feel the baby through my tummy. I am too - we are really lucky as it's usually ages before anyone else can feel anything of the baby on the surface of the abdomen. I think it will be a long time before Neil can feel kicks, but this is different, feeling Bean's little shape.
Ahhh have I gone on about this enough yet?! Sorry! I could go on all day. I am going to be a crashing bore of a mother aren't I?!
Okay what else can I tell you?
I can't believe it's Monday again, already! And that means my midwife appt is next week! Wheeee! And I am 14 weeks pregnant on Friday this week. It is going by quite fast really.
Yesterday we used the doppler to listen to Bean and I found something new that I hadn't been able to find before - I found the umbilical cord pulse!! I knew what to look for because there's this website where you can hear all the different sounds you might find when listening with a doppler. Until now everything has been too small to find the umbilical cord pulse, but I found it yesterday! It's obviously the same as the baby's pulse, but high and tinny-sounding. Also yesterday evening when we listened, Bean was the most active I've ever heard her/him! There were constant bumps and splatches, sometimes a double bump or two, and I noticed they are getting stronger sounding than the gentle microphone-taps I was hearing before. Some of these were so vigorous that they distorted the speaker on the doppler! The heartbeat was moving all OVER the place! I guess Bean was practising "arms and legs" rather than swallowing last night!
Bean's heartrate remains constantly above 160. I still feel conflicted about whether it's a girl or a boy. I do still have that girl-vibe, but hmmm, those potential boy parts on the scan.... still it WAS early to be sure. Thanks for your comments about that! Boy and girl bits DO look the same early on, but much earlier than this, and I am now at past that stage of pregnancy, and like I said in my previous entry, by 13 weeks the genitals are discernable one way or the other. FF's pregnancy info even says they are actually visibly different from 11 or 12 weeks, and from 13 weeks it is "possible" to tell the difference on an ultrasound scan. So.... I don't know. My girl-vibe and all that.... We'll just have to wait and see.
Just incase, Neil and I have been going over boys' names again. We had not really thought much about them recently since we thought it would be a girl, but the scan made us wonder so we've been going over names again. We can't decide at the moment, but I'm sure it's not worth picking a name yet anyway - we'll only change our mind by the time the baby is born! At the moment we are down to one girls' name (my favourite, hooray!) which Neil isn't 100% keen on, but he can't think of any better alternatives. And we have 2 or 3 boys' names in the running. The difficulty is, one is super popular, one has just been used by a close friend of the family, and the other is the name of choice for a friend who had a girl instead and is saving it up for a future son. So we are not sure. All of them go with Cameron as the middle name though, and all go well with our surname.
I am still feeling sick if I don't eat every 2 or 3 hours. Sometimes I feel full and like I can't surely eat AGAIN, but I start to feel queasy so I know I have to eat whether I want to or not. It's weird. But it's the only way to stave off the nausea. I guess I eat a small-portioned meal or large snack about 5 times a day at the moment. I am really thirsty lately too, but I don't seem to be able to drink enough because my stuffed-up nose creates a vacuum in my head when I swallow, and cold drinks increase my post-nasal drip like NOTHING else (urgh!), and I hate hot drinks at the moment.
I have gained a couple of pounds at last!! It's finally a steady gain, because although my weight fluctuates depending on the time of day, I consistently weight 2lbs more at any time of day than I used to, and it doesn't go back down from day to day. So that is my first weight gain of my pregnancy so far! I'm glad to gain weight, it's something that you're MEANT to do in pregnancy and I am looking forward to putting on the pounds :)
I am STILL not showing. I can't believe it because my womb seems so high, and I have been so sure I would be popping any day now for the last 2 weeks! But still nothing. I am still waking to pee once or twice in the night, and still have increased frequency in the day, so I guess my womb is still mostly down in my pelvis. I am not having so much trouble with feeling like everything's cramped and filled out in there though, so I don't know what's going on. I am having some mild ligament pains on either side of my tummy every day now. They are several inches higher than when I first started getting them a month or so ago.
I am finding it uncomfortable to sleep on my tummy now. I may not be pooching out with a pregnant belly, but when I lie on my back, my womb rises firmly up to the level of my hips where they stick up. My hips stick up a lot, and my tummy has always caved in between them when I lie on my back, so this is quite a difference for me. I still look fairly flat so there's no point taking another belly shot, but I'm hoping to start showing soon.
I am taking all my vitamins again. I stopped for a while when I was really poorly with this cold - probably the time when I needed them the most! - and my mum made me start again. So I am taking my prenatal vitamin, though I don't need folic acid any longer, and calcium, and extra vitamin C to try and kick this cold a bit quicker. Because I can't taste anything, I am taking advantage of the situation by eating foods that I have been "off" lately, but which are really good for me, like carrots and things, to shove in some better nutrition for Bean and me. I eat a lot of thick Scotch Broth with a zillion veggies in it at the moment, most days actually. I really liked it when I was feeling poorly and I seem to be desiring it every day now, even when I can't taste anything.
Neil went to the chemist and asked if it was safe for a pregnant woman to use a Vick inhaler (the type that's a stick which you shove up your nose) and eat cold sweets like Lockets and Tunes. The pharmacist said they were all safe for me so Neil bought me Lockets, blackcurrant Tunes and a Vick inhaler. The inhaler doesn't always work (neither does steaming my head with menthol and eucalyptus, annoyingly), but sometimes it gives me some relief, and the Lockets are lovely. I can't taste or smell any of these powerfully strong things though, it's so weird!
I am sooooo looking forward to feeling better so that I can get on and enjoy my pregnancy. Mind you, as you've probably noticed, I am enjoying it immensely already! I feel so high about it at the moment that I feel like I could be ill and feeling dreadful for months and still enjoy being pregnant! I love being pregnant. I love it. It's so wonderful and amazing. I love having my baby growing inside me. I love feeling it move about. I love the dizziness that comes with the idea of being a mummy. I love my baby. I LOVE loving my baby. I had no idea how wonderful it would feel. I am so blessed.
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