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2005-09-24 - 10.48am��previous entry��next entry
10DPO and um...
First of all I just want to send hugs to Jenn and Jemma, who will know what for :) I�m sorry I was thoughtless, girls. *hugs*
Second of all, how I WISH I had been keeping up to date with my diary since I last wrote! I have had all sorts of thoughts flying round my head but felt too silly to write about them.
For example: We had parsnips FOUR days before ovulation. Only the once. That gives us a really low chance of pregnancy, according to FF. The intercourse analyzer didn�t even register that incidence of parsnips! Obviously it�s because we weren�t actually trying this cycle, but still, good quality fertile CM and that�. So of course my brain just can�t leave well enough alone, and I end up checking the chart gallery for charts with intercourse 4 days before pregnancy. Yesterday I found seventy five pregnancy charts with this intercourse pattern!!! Yikes! So that made me start wondering about the possibility, even though the chances/risks were so slim. I wish I hadn�t done that though. It only gets my hopes up, which was interesting in itself, because I realised they WERE beginning to be actual hopes, and not worries. Not so much, �Oh I SO hope I�m pregnant!!� but I still kind of got excited about the possibility.
I am 10 days past ovulation now. I remember yesterday being soooo excited to be at 9dpo, because that is such an improvement for my luteal phase length, and my temps were looking great!!! Yay! My temps have been interesting. They are nicely up there, and they were flat four days running, which is odd. But stable. So, good news there. Of course that got me wondering too, if maybe they could mean that I might be pregnant after all? I started to be excited to take my temp in the mornings. Every morning I prepared myself for a drop so that I wouldn�t be disappointed. I just wanted my LP to be as long as possible.
A couple of days ago I started to symptom-spot. Ugh, I know! I just can�t help myself!! But I felt sure there were tiiiny little subtle pregnancy symptoms here and there. They were hardly noticeable, and I had no nausea or anything really obvious, but they kept being on my mind and I felt too silly to write about it here, because I felt like soooo many eyes watch my diary (!!) and I would look so ridiculous writing, �Oooh I have an almost non-existent pregnancy symptom! I wonder if I�m pregnant?!!� when we had parsnips at a time that was so unlikely to result in pregnancy. I�m such a wuss! ;) I figured I would minimise the amount of egg on my face if I didn�t write those thoughts and then got my period as expected.
But I made extensive notes in my personal section at FF instead. So I�ll write them here now.
Sept 21 2005 � Cycle Day 25 � 7 DPO
Moody today. Maybe PMS? I should chart it infact. More emotional and moody than I ever remember PMS being though, apart from last month when conception did occur - hmmm! Quite crampy today. Not really BAD cramps, but a little worse than yesterday. I do wonder if my period is coming soon. A bit headachy today, like my muscles are sore, but then my back, shoulders and neck are very stiff and sore. I think it must be to do with when strained my shoulder the day before yesterday. So maybe that's the reason for the headache? IBS as ever. Queasy this evening. Nervous about tummy bug season. Gassy, so maybe that's why I'm queasy. Pretty hungry today but not enormously pregnantly hungry, so I'm not going to chart increased appetite today. Exhausted as usual. Tender breasts - those shooting stabby achy pains down the sides of my breasts to the nipple (mostly nearer the nipple this time though). Right now one is achy near the armpit. They just feel a little more tender in general. [bedtime] Cervix very high, softish and very firmly closed. Very little CM. Very bad IBS. Bloated, queasy, tummy achy, windy, etc. So tired. My skin feels pretty soft on my face. I wonder if this is as soft as last cycle when I was charting "weirdly soft skin"? I think I will wait and see if it gets softer, or if my period arrives. I am soooo tired that I have to go to bed early (a good pre-menstrual sign for me, oh well).
Sept 22 2005 � Cycle Day 26 � 8 DPO
My temp is still way up there with the previous two days temps (which were the same). Been out to a mother-and-baby group today which helps my mood! :) So tired out. Napped when Arthur did between 4 and 5pm (slept about 45 mins). ROTTEN IBS at the moment. Very tummy achy all the time, and no appetite when I am swollen and bloated and hurting in my tummy, but I feel better for eating. I'm still very hungry underneath it. Quite queasy a lot because of it too. Mild cramps here and there. Sometimes it really felt like my period might be coming. Cervix still high, still softish and closed. Very little CM again. This "is it/isn't it a sore/scratchy throat" thing continues. I�ve had it three or four days now, and it never gets any worse, so it can�t be a cold coming. It isn't so bothersome that I'm aware of it much, just occasionally I notice it. It's like my throat has been way too dry and it slightly irritated/sore/scratchy as a result. Maybe that's all it is? I am very thirsty these days. Occasional hurty discomfort (like a bruise, sort of) just above my pubic bone on my left hand side). Not sure if this is IBS related or not. Feels weird for IBS though, even though I do have bad IBS at the moment.
Sept 23 2005 � Cycle Day 27 � 9DPO
Temperature the same AGAIN! Went for a wee in the middle of the night (only once, but unusual all the same). Awful IBS again today, ugh. Bad tummy pains first thing this morning. Fairly crampy on and off, particularly briefly when Arthur was in the bath with Neil (noticed cramps at the same time last cycle, whilst watching them in the bath!). One brief moment of slightly tender breasts today, but they are fine now. Ate a big breakfast, enormous lunch, and am very hungry for dinner, so I'm charting increased appetite. Feel slightly less wiped out and low mood today. Not really weepy either. Oh, I had a very weird "sewn up inside" feeling earlier this afternoon, which lasted quite a few hours. It's even still there if I think about it. Like I had last pregnancy from very early on. It�s almost too subtle a feeling to actually describe. It feels like the cervical equivalent of when you stand tall and imagine your head being pulled up towards the ceiling, so that your back stretches out as much as possible. Obviously your head never actually gets anywhere nearer to the ceiling, but the feeling is there. It feels like my cervix is pulled up and tight with a stitch or something, and nothing can ever fall out of me (weird, I know, but I remember describing it exactly the same way when I was pregnant with Arthur). Had a weird moment driving home from Tesco's this afternoon � all of a sudden, totally out of the blue, I could feel the consistency (as in, to bite down on) of a raw mushroom, and sort of taste it too. I didn't even know what it was at first, took me a little while to figure out what food it was that I could taste, but it was like the beginning of a craving. It made me want to bite down on a raw (NOT cooked) mushroom right then and there! That was weird because of how my pregnancy cravings often started exactly the same way, with a sudden actual taste of the food in my mouth, making me want it. [bedtime] I had dinner tonight at 8.30pm and was hungry again at 10.30/11ish. I got really bad heartburn after that. Finally ate a bowl of cereal at 11.45pm! Cervix very high, very firm, and very closed! That's a first this cycle and it's nice because it sort of confirms that "sewn up inside" feeling. Hmmm... Very thirsty again today, and an ever-so-slightly annoyed throat again. CM pretty sparse. It's now the second day running that I've had some bruisey/hurty type of discomfort just above my pubic bone on my left side. Hmmm (again!)... Noticed this was a symptom I had before my BFP (and after too) with Arthur. Horribly constipated today though, so maybe that's it?
Sept 24 2005 � Cycle Day 28 � 10DPO
Today! :)
So you see? I have been wondering about stuff and feeling silly for it. Yesterday I talked to Neil about it, particularly in light of all those pregnancy charts I found! I also searched under short luteal phase and pregnancy and found over 200 charts, phew! I got worried that if I have a short luteal phase normally and got pregnant, that it would put me at greater risk of miscarriage. But when I searched under short luteal phase and miscarriage I only found one chart :)
Anyway. I showed Neil my chart with the flat temps and he was going, �Hmmm�.� and said that if I had a temp rise tomorrow then he would feel nervous! I personally thought I might see a temp DIP this morning though, for some reason. Last night I couldn�t stop talking to Neil about this sign and that sign that I might be pregnant. I tried to stop, and we�d talk about something else, and then I�d go, �Now I come to think of it, THIS thing could be a pregnancy thing too!� Neil would roll his eyes at me, hehe! I just couldn�t seem to shift it from my mind, and I knew it was silly because I was letting myself get too much into the idea that there was a chance I might be pregnant. And that�s just NOT good when it�s not likely! *sigh* Neil had said to me the day before that he didn�t think I was pregnant because I didn�t LOOK pregnant in my face like I had last cycle with the chemical pregnancy. He knew it then, before I had that faint positive. My skin felt weirdly soft last cycle, but this cycle it had not. I sort of wondered if it was a little softer last night or maybe the night before, but Neil said not. Yesterday evening when I asked him to check, he got a funny look in his eyes when he put his hand on my face, but he didn�t say anything.
So this morning I was excited to temp. I got a temp RISE!!! I also have super soft skin on my face this morning. I got up at 7.15am even though Neil was watching Arthur so I could sleep for another hour or more, because I was too excited about it. When I told him about the temp, and my skin, he said he thought I was maybe looking different last night but he didn�t want to say in case I got all over-the-top excited and ended up getting my period. I mean, with it being so likely that that would happen and all. He said, �Oh we�re so not ready for another baby!� I said that if I was pregnant, that wouldn�t be a great thing to say. I said that you�re only ever as ready as you are when you find out you�re pregnant. By the time the baby arrives, you�re ready. And that�s the important part :) So he agreed with that.
Then I got overwhelmed with a huge urge to pee on a stick. Neil said no, I should wait till the recommended test date (a few days away) because then I would get my period and not have to worry about it. But I just had to pee on a stick! I hadn�t peed yet for the morning so it was first morning urine, and I couldn�t bear NOT using it for a pregnancy test with all my wonderings and that temp rise.
I peed on a cheapy internet test, since I have many of them. I have 2 clearblues but I didn�t want to waste them. Here it is:
As unlikely as it is with our low chance due to one oopsie four days before ovulation�.
I�M GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!!!!
Woohoo!! We are just amazed. We feel so proud and fertile, hehe! It�s a good strong positive for 10DPO, even though it�s faint. I kept the cheapy tests I took with Arthur in an airtight vial, and I got them out to compare with this BFP. It�s as strong as the test I took at 13DPO with Arthur. The first BFP I got with him was at 12DPO and it was much fainter than this one is today. I think that must be a good sign! :)
When I did the test, I saw a faint line appear within the first 20 seconds!!! I had to wait minutes with the first few tests with Arthur. I went away to distract myself for a few minutes though, so I could read it accurately. After a few minutes I checked again and there was a good faint pink second line there. I thought, �Oh. My. Bob.� Neil called upstairs to ask should he bring Arthur up, as he was getting cranky and wanted to get upstairs to see me. I called back (in a calm voice!), �Yeah, if you bring him up, then you can also see that we�re going to have another baby.� Hehe ;) Neil said, �WHAT?!!� and asked if I was serious. As he came upstairs with Arthur, he had the biggest smile on his face and said that it was surprisingly exciting! I feel the same way. We are really happy!
I took photos of my BFP. Neil wanted me to pee on a Clearblue but I had already thrown my FMU down the toilet. Oh well. I�ll do a Clearblue tomorrow. I phoned my parents and told them. My mum was slightly guarded as she thinks it�s too soon - as in, too soon to be having another baby (tsk!), but she was happy for us and congratulated us, and said how nice it would be to have a baby born in the summer. She took the phone upstairs to find my dad, who was taking a bath. She walked in and I heard her say, �Rinse your hair! Alice wants to speak to you!� hahaha! How obvious was it to him that I had big news?!! ;) Daddy was delighted, and really excited. He kept saying what wonderful news it was.
The baby (I can�t BELIEVE I am saying this!) is due June 7th 2006. Two days before my niece Ella was due this year! They will be almost exactly a year apart. Neil�s parents will have had their first three grandchildren in less than 2 years! One each calendar year for three years running. Arthur and the new baby will be almost exactly 19 months apart in age. That is so nice.
I am just breathless and shaky and excited and I guess if I knuckled down to reality enough, rather scared! So far I am just happy that I don�t have morning sickness yet. It kicked it at 5 weeks and 6 days with Arthur. Also I�m happy that I still have lots of milk. Arthur still gulps this morning and I still leak. I hope my milk hangs in there for a good while yet. I don�t want my little boy to wean early because of another bean.
Another bean.
I have another bean! Wheeeeeeeeeee!! :) You can bet I�ll be updating a whole lot more regularly here from now on :)
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