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2007-05-04 - 9:11 p.m.��previous entry��next entry
Longer luteal phase!! :)
Thanks for checking on me, my peeps! :)
My period arrived NOT FIVE MINUTES after I closed the laptop after the entry earlier! ;) I have yet to update my chart but I'll do that in a minute. I so wanted to update my other diary properly about the little boys, but I am so so soooooo periodly wiped out, so I think I will flake out and maybe go to bed early.
So I have a 9 day luteal phase! It's not the 10+ days I was looking for, but I'm pretty pleased about it all the same! Yay! I am NOT disappointed to have my period. I would have been over the moon to be pregnant, but I'm equally happy to have my period this time. I sooooo hope I make it to July, because every month that passes, my longing for the April 2008 baby intensifies. I get more worried about it each month because I know the kind of longing I am starting to have for that particular baby is going to set me up for major disappointment if that is not the timing God has planned. Another thing that makse me anxious is that I want that baby SO badly that I am extra super duper scared to GET pregnant and then have a miscarriage.
Although my cycles are irregular "on the inside" as in, irregular ovulation date and luteal phase length, they are weirdly regular in actual cycle length. I never take note of my actual cycle length any more these days, as it's irrelevant really. My mum asked me today on the phone, how long my cycles were now, and I had to figure it out! But it turns out that they are all between 28 and 30 days, except for one blip since Matthew was born which was my longest cycle on record EVER (37 days!) since my second period (literally my second period - yeah I was charting even at age 12 when I got my first one, haha! Not temping, but I have YEARS of written out charts from my very first period in a little notebook somewhere! I was obviously born to be a charting obsessive, hehe!), which was 42 days. All my cycles my whole life have been average length - 28 days, give or take a couple. So I'm happy that somehow they are still that kind of length, a period a month, even with the internal workings being a bit out of whack!
With that in mind, I am thinking that I'll get another period roughly around June 1st, and then maybe another around the 29th. So then I might ovulate between July 15th and 20th, given how late in my cycles I'm ovulating at the moment. My ovulation date might start to creep back towards normal (I was pretty much a CD14/15 girl originally) as my cycles get back in shape, but just a couple more cycles might not make much difference. So if I don't get earlier ovulation and my luteal phase increases, my cycles will look a bit longer. Anyway, so it's roughly between July 15th and 20th that we are hoping to really make a baby!!! So exciting!!! Not this cycle, not next cycle, but the one after. And only THE MONTH AFTER NEXT!!! I'm so excited about July, specifically, for the April baby! I really want to have the willpower to make it till then, but I readily acknowledge my weakness over it around ovulation time! But I was thinking this morning, a January baby (which would have resulted had I been pregnant this past cycle) would have been lovely, but it's not my favourite month to have a baby by any means. February is not a month I'd choose either, BUT I like it better than January, and it's one extra month for Matthew to have my milk. And one extra month in the general "age gap" stakes (20 months). March is not my ideal month either, but again, I like it a bit better than February, and there are finally NO family birthdays in March (Jan and Feb are chock full). And it's nearly spring in March. And it would mean a June conception, so Matthew would have had a full year without me being pregnant and without any changes to my milk whatsoever due to pregnancy. And a 21-month age gap, thereabouts. I really quite like March, actually... Anyway. April is just surrounded by a heavenly glow, to me! :) I soooo want it. If we DO make it to July, and we DO manage to conceive that cycle and do not lose the baby, I reckon I could expect a due date roughly from April 8th-13th. And then given my thing for going over my due date, I would probably be looking at a mid-April baby (how lovely!) and thus almost exactly 22 months between Matthew and the new boo. Which is lovely!!! Not that I'm obsessing about it at ALL yet, of course! ;)
So there it is. Every month is better than the last month for me, if we do conceive at some point along the way, but my goal is July! Wheee!
And, for the first time I have achieved a normal cycle after a chemical pregnancy (without having a baby 9 months later, that is!)!! That felt like it would be toooo weird if it happened, but now that it has, it's kind of a relief. And so nice to see that my cycle has improved a lot since my last non-pregnant cycle :)
I will update again soon! There's never much to write about in the first half of a cycle while I wait to get fertile, but I might write about thoughts and stuff, about baby #3 (especially since I have been given a gift of gold membership - I want to make the most of it!), since the whole thing is really starting to take hold in my mind a lot more now, like it's a reality that we're officially awaiting! I changed my FF ticker today to read: "Getting ready to TTC #3!!" which was so exciting to do! Previously, it only said, "Watching and waiting for now..." which make me feel wistful. Yay for really really REALLY being on our way to actually having another baby again! :)
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