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2003-06-23 - 4.11pm��previous entry��next entry
Day 2 of TTC cycle!
Official warm welcome to Chase Michael!!! :) He is the cutest pie. A teeny tiny 6lbs 6oz. Go and see his photos and congratulate Robbi if you haven't already - which you probably have because it seems like the WHOLE internet is buzzing about Chase, hehe! And rightly so.
Well my days have stopped being weird, which is a GREAT relief!! I got my period at last, and I am just so pleased to have it because I really did think I was beginning to lose the plot or something! I wrote more about that in my normal diary so I won't repeat myself too much here. I am so thrilled to be having a period this time round because it's the one I was waiting for all these months before trying for a baby. And just that fact alone makes me appreciate having periods. I mean, without them I couldn't have a baby, could I? Thank you God for periods. They are special things. Last night I woke at 4.30am scrunched into a ball with cramps, and usually I just hate that, but instead of crawling out for the hot water bottle and painkillers, I just lay there with a weird sense of enjoyment. That's my womb making that pain, and I love being aware of my womb because it's gonna grow a baby pretty soon. That's pretty special. I love my womb! :) Plus I hope this might be my last period for a while, so I am savouring it while I can. I am crazy! I should be wishing my period over as fast as possible, but somehow it's special. An important part of the whole picture.
Soooo I got my period on Sunday, yesterday. This is day 2 of my TTC cycle. If I get pregnant, the way pregnancy is dated, today would read (weirdly!) as day 2 of my pregnancy. Should I be thinking like this now?! Hmmm, I don't even know if I'll get pregnant yet. But I can't help it!! I am so excited!!! Exactly one week till my fertile window opens up, that is if I'm expecting a 27 day cycle this time. Well, whatever it is, there's one week - 7 days - till we start trying to conceive!!! Wouldn't you know, my dad phoned from France yesterday and he has to come to England for some meetings, and hopes he can stay with us Monday and Tuesday night of next week! That will be lovely, but I don't have the heart to tell him we'll be trying to conceive right then. He would feel like he'd be in the way and that's not true. But it will be kind of odd with Daddy across the hall!! Unless he goes over to see my brother one evening which he might. I can't believe we are even gonna be trying to make a baby, let alone the pregnant bit!! It feels so surreal. Maybe because I've been waiting and planning so long? Seven days can't go fast enough, but still I want to savour them as well as have them hurry up. I want every second of my pregnancy - of making and having a baby - to be relished and enjoyed and appreciated to it's fullest capacity. And if I conceive this month that means right NOW, since I would already be 2 days into "pregnancy". Could I really be about to be this blessed? I can hardly believe it.
This weekend I saw a Wilkinet baby carrier on sale second hand at UKparents, one of the three types of sling I mentioned before that I want to have. It's navy and white pinstripe, and only �12 (they sell for �35 new I think), so I checked with Neil and then bought it. So that's 2 down. Just the Sling Easy to go! If I don't like any of them or they don't suit the baby, then I will just sell them on the same forum, so I won't lose money. I also saw some maternity clothes in my size - loads of them, but I'm only interested in the denim dungarees/overalls, because I long for a pair of those more than anything (hence my very artistic drawing up there!!) for pregnancy and I don't have any yet. I have a pair of navy cotton ones which cost me all of �5.50 (!!!!) second-hand, but I would really like denim. Mothercare have some but I couldn't find any that weren't that sort of dirty look - d'you know the kind I mean? I think they have other types but I couldn't find any others in the local Mothercare. They have the terribly fashionable dirty colour and faded thighs. Yuck. Call me unfashionable but I think that look is gross! I have a pair of non-maternity dungies from Gap - well, from factory outlets in L.A. actually, so not expensive at all!! But they are a lovely mid-blue denim, no fading or anything like that. Does ANYONE make maternity dungarees like this?!!!!! Anyway, a lady is selling a pair of H&M denim dungies so I've emailed her to ask what kind of colour, etc, they are. If they sound good I'll buy them. They're �12. I think my non-maternity dungarees would see me at least halfway through my pregnancy anyway, unless I am unusually huge early on. They have a fair bit of room.
Today my flannels from One Stop Diaper Shop in the States arrived!!!! They are so cute. I don't have any more things on order, except the fabrics I bought months ago from an online co-op. They are taking aaaages to ship because they're coming surface mail from America. So I have four new cutey flannel prints, and that will keep me busy with the ole nappy making for a while! I can't wait till I am pregnant because then I can buy more Kissaluvs as a "yippeee!!" present for myself! :) Plus I just can't wait to be pregnant anyway ;) And I want a Bear Behinds nappy. Check them out, they are so adorable! They are "pocket" stuffable all-in-one nappies, which means they have a waterproof outer built in, so that they don't need a seperate cover. The stuffable thing means you have to stuff it with the absorbant part, like a booster pad or towelling or something. Anyway, they are cute because they are animal prints :) My favourite is the snow leopard one. I need one in medium. NEED one! Hehe. Medium because I think they look more flattering on an older baby than one who is lying there looking new (if that makes sense?!!). So I need a medium. That can be a treat later on down the line :)
I can't WAIT to be pregnant!!!! Today I feel crampy and tired and all that fun stuff, so I went to bed with my Sears Parenting Library (!!) and read The Breastfeeding Book. I hadn't started reading that one yet - Neil and I have been reading The Attachment Parenting Book together first. But anyway I decided to start reading one of them, and the breastfeeding one seemed as good as any other. I know a lot about breastfeeding from when I did my midwifery training. That year we happened to focus on breastfeeding techniques a lot and we got well trained in helping new mothers to breastfeed. We had to pass a practical exam and did a lot of training in advance, and I passed it well :) I remember all of what I learnt so I feel confident about breastfeeding. I know I helped one or two mothers to breastfeed with confidence in the hospital when I was still in my first year, though I didn't have much opportunity - the nurses there were absolutely clueless about breastfeeding and were too busy telling mothers they weren't doing it right and sticking bottles in babies' mouths. Grrr. Stupid nurses.
I plan to breastfeed from when I give birth next year, pretty much for the next decade. That sounds crazy (!!!) but I intend to breastfeed my children well into toddlerhood, and by then I should be pregnant again if all goes to plan. Who knows, but we don't plan on huge gaps between babies. Two years-ish perhaps. We'll see. And I would like four children. But again, we'll see. Neil would prefer two. I will not go to the extent of sabotaging contraceptive devices (!!) but I will try my hardest to coax him into more than two!! :) I have always wanted lots of children. Anyway, I am delighted at the prospect of breastfeeding for so long, and that there might not be long to go till I start!! Reading this (fantastic) book makes me long for it more. Chapter one just blew me away with facts and statistics and research - my children need my milk from day one till they are toddlers. I mean NEED. Such an amazing book. My allergy consultant was so enthusiastic when I told him that's what I planned to do. He said it was a marvellous idea, and that it was unusual for someone to plan that, which is a shame. Tis the best thing for a child's health.
Anyway so I am so broody now from reading about breastfeeding I feel like my breasts are gonna start producing milk any second or something, hehe! I am so impatient. Soon, soon. It'll be my turn soon enough.
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