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2003-04-13 - 11.04pm��previous entry��next entry
Babysitting, birth announcements, and more photos!
Hello! It's been a while since I wrote anything here so I have a bit to update on. No real baby news yet though! Thanks to my lovely guestbook-signing peeps :) I just want to say, right here in my diary, that NOT using cloth nappies does not make a person a nitwit! ;) Ah that was a double negative, hmmm. To rephrase, in my last diary entry I did not mean that you are a nitwit if you use disposies on your babe. My mum used them on my brother after battling through the awful terry towels and soaky-yucky-poopy buckets with me, and she thinks I'm crazy to want to use cloth. But she has softened a LOT on the idea since she's seen and handled the nappies I've made so far, which is nice :) The nitwitty comment I made was more about my inability to understand why people who have zero money don't save themselves THOUSANDS of pounds/dollars by using cloth. Or more specifically, to do with people who go on and on about how having a baby bleeds your bank account dry and how awful it is, etc, etc, when they use expensive disposables, expensive jars of baby food, and expensive baby equipment that is pretty much redundant when you wear your baby close to you in a sling all the time. Yep. That's it really. But nooooobody specific is a nitwit! Just so you know! ;)
Erica has a new diaryring for first time mothers or mothers-to-be. Go and join if that's you!! Thanks Erica for offering me "early" membership! I am absolutely gagging to join, but I think I will wait, since it's not much longer, and I think it will feel all the more special when I have a big wonderful reason to join :) I can't wait to join the Preggos ring either. *sigh*
Ooh ooh, two new birth announcements to be excited about!!! Well, okay, not that hot off the press since I'm a bit behind, but oh well. I'm still excited anyway! Michelle had her baby - Ewan David, he was born on March 29th (I told you I was behind) at home! Go Michelle! :) And Allyson had her little boy, Kayden Trevor, on April 1st. Congratulations Allyson and Michelle (not that they read this but oh well!)!! Oooh I am so excited about other people's new babies! I can't imagine what it will feel like when it's my own.
Last weekend we went babysitting for a couple from church. They have three children, aged 7,4 and 9 months. We have babysat for them before so it was okay. I actually babysat their 7-year-old when she was a baby too! Anyway, Gordon and Katie (other friends from church) came over too and we chatted with them, it was a nice evening. Until the baby woke up. Ohhh boy, she is at that stage where she freaks out and wakes up a lot at night and gets into terrified hysterics if the person she sees isn't Mummy or Daddy. I read that co-sleeping pretty much rules that stage out. Hmmm. I hope so! Anyway, we were warned that this might happen when we turned up, and I had already had the experience from their oldest when she was a baby. So yeah. Amy woke up. Screamed the place down. I went in to get her, even though it would make her scream more, because otherwise she was gonna get herself all in a tiz. We all played pass-the-baby-around but I knew from the instant I saw her face that she was not going to calm down. She looked soooo terrified, I can't even describe it. She was staring round the four of us with a look of sheer terror, I felt so bad for her. Poor little thing. Gordon and Katie were of the opinion that she'd calm down if we bounced her (!!) but I knew she needed her mother asap. Neil phoned them and they headed home.
I have to say, pacing about holding a child who is screaming and shrieking in my ear for a while is kind of wearing. But I feel pleased and happy because my gut instinct wasn't - "Oh for GOODNESS' sake!!! Won't she ever shut up?!!" No matter that she screamed, I just wanted to make her better, and it was frustrating that I couldn't. I know this is a really healthy mummy vibe so I'm really happy about it! Okay so it was only for a while that I held her, but anyway. Her parents phoned from their mobile to say she was obsessed with one of the older kids' videos, which we could try sitting her in front of to see if she calmed down. It was some highly irritating video called Fun Song Factory - well, it was okay. I could have watched it. Gordon didn't mind it either. Neil and Katie practically had allergic reactions to it, they hated it so much! But Amy stopped screaming immediately. I sat in front of the TV holding her, and she just stared like she was in a trance. So weird! Occasionally she twisted her head back to try and see who was holding her, and if she saw me she got frantic again, so I held her right in front of my face so that she couldn't see me no matter how much she twisted about. And it was fine. After a while she was much calmer and I could get up and hold her properly, and chat to the others while she watched the TV. Goodness knows what was in the video that a nine-month-old baby would find so transfixing, but there you go!
The first thing that Katie said when Amy calmed down and we could hear each other speak (!!) was, "Doesn't that put you off having children?! Aren't you glad you don't have any kids?!!" Me and Neil just glanced at each other and tried to avoid answering the question. It was more a statement from her than a question anyway. She was kind of wound up about the baby. After a while Gordon asked, "Do you two ever want to have children?", which is the kind of question I've been LONGING to answer for months!!! It's meant to be a secret that we're planning to TTC this summer (to people we know anyway), so I can't talk about it to anyone (offline that is!), which drives me crazy when I'm this obsessed! But a direct question..... who can help answering a direct question?!!! Not me! So I blabbed. Everything. Before he'd even finished asking the question, practically. I said, "Actually we are planning to try for a baby this summer!" So now someone else knows. Gordon was all excited for us, Katie less so. I think she doesn't find the idea very thrilling, especially right after Amy's screaming fit! She said, "Aren't you put off by things like this?" And I thought about it. I didn't have to think about it, but I wanted to know if there was anything in me at all that was even slightly put off. But I could honestly say no, there wasn't. Neil started talking to them about co-sleeping (which they absolutely could NOT understand at all!) and telling them about the research and stuff we've been doing. I sort of joined in the conversation, half-and-half with watching the video over Amy's head and keeping aware of how she was doing. Holding her, even after her screaming, I felt so..... warm inside, I guess. She felt lovely in my arms and her little head was so soft on my cheek, with that soft hair babies have. I could hear her breathing. Something about soft heads with soft hair makes me absolutely HAVE to kiss them. It just makes me too broody for words and I want to hold a baby close and kiss the soft hair and try to help them feel more secure by doing so. So I sat doing that until her parents came, and then she went to bed again after a feed and that was that.
So I wanted to write about it because it's sort of linked to this diary more than my normal one. It brought up thoughts and feelings about baby things. On Sunday, the next morning, I blabbed again. *sigh* Andrew at church was asking me about how my job-hunting is going, and whether I was looking for long-term work. So I said no. And he gave me that last nudge into blabbery by asking if I had other plans after I'd finished a couple of months of work. Ohhh dear. I hope we have people LEFT to tell when I actually get pregnant! That same morning I held Isaac, who is 4 months old. I got two comments about how it must be nearly my turn now. I was on such a high from holding two babies in as many days (!!) and spilling our plans twice. And then a weird thing happened. In the afternoon I got a sort of babied-out type of feeling. There were baby clothes all over the house (as there always are these days!) and I suddenly wanted to put them away and stop obsessing for once. I actually felt kind of down and empty, like if I wasn't focusing on this huge thing I was really obsessed with, then I felt like, where's my purpose now? I only want to be a mother. If I get tired of that for a moment, then what else? That's pretty bad isn't it? Is it? I should have other focuses in life shouldn't I? Hmmm.
Well not to worry anyway, because the next morning I was obsessed again like always! :) My baby money has run out completely now, and the last bits and pieces from eBay bids are coming through in the post. I got a nappy (diaper) pail last week, and several items of maternity clothing. I got the odd baby clothing thing, but there really isn't much to get on that front now, and I think I've gone OTT enough on that, so no more until I'm pregnant at least! My burley knit terry arrived at LAST from the States, four yards of it, which is enough superior quality soaker material to last me all the nappies I'll need! Yay!
Neil and I have been reading more of the Attachment Parenting book, and talking a lot about all sorts of baby-related things, like what our parents will be called by our children, and how weird that's gonna be!! When I was born, my parents went round all the grands and asked them what they would like to be called. Fortunately, nobody clashed and chose the same name! So we are going to do the same. Well, yeah, you know me - I've already asked my parents years ago! Mummy wants to be Nanna, and Daddy called his own grandfather Grandy, so he'd like to be called the same. It's still toooo weird to think of those names on them. Hmmm! I don't know what my grandparents will choose yet. But I'm not telling them of our plans till I'm pregnant, because of how there might be extra pressure if they know we're planning it.
What else? I'm sure there were loads of other bits and pieces. Oh well. I have some photos to post anyway, so I should stop soon. I just ovulated so there are now three cycles to go till we start TTC. And two months :) End of June, that is. Well here are the photos:
This is a photo of one of 15 items I got at a local charity shop a week or two ago. They all look unused, they are in such good condition! And each item was ONE POUND!!!! That's all! I'm so pleased. Anyway, I picked one to show you. It's a 0-3 months sleepsuit with a reversible matching fleece jacket with a hood, and I think it's so cute:
Okay this next one is the last baby outfit I got with the baby money, from eBay, again unworn. It's a lovely pair of dungaree-shorts from Next, 3-6 months. It's pwetty. And it cost me next to nowt :)
And this one I've had for a little while but I can't believe I didn't take a photo yet. Actually it doesn't photograph that well, but it's sooooo soft. You can't really tell unfortunately. It's the softest pink velour dungarees with a matching suity thing inside. They are gorgeous. I "filled" them with a nappy, etc, last night and me and Neil stroked it. *sigh* What are we like? We still have the "baby" in the crib. Anyway, the photo:
Yeah so we are really pleased with the outfits we have! Boy or girl, we're ready! And I don't mind having things for both sexes, because I plan to have several children. I know I might have several of the same sex, but never mind. I hope to have both boys and girls amongst my kids. But any baby that's healthy will do me nicely.
Today I made a Honeyboy-Home diaper, which is the first time I've made one in aaages. It's a size small (8-16lbs). It's made out of my latest arrival Malden Mills fleece - sky blue :) And soft flannel with sleeping teddies on clouds! They would make gorgeous PJs, come to think of it.....
Anyway, here's a photo of the nappy I made today:
And that's all. I'll be back when there's more to write about, which could be any moment really, considering all the thoughts that rush through my head all the time! But I have four days of full-time work this week (poo) so I won't have as much time.
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