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2003-04-05 - 7.00pm��previous entry��next entry
The "average �3,500" and bargains!
Today I saw a little girl with her mother in Sainsbury's. I was wheeling my trolley past them, and there was this huuuuuge teddy bear, bigger than me (!!), up on display in front of us all. The little girl was barely able to walk and talk, she was really little. She stopped dead when she saw the bear, and said, "Keggy Bear!!!" with this look of utter amazement on her face. Her mum was trying to get her to follow and move on - she must have been in a rush or something, but the kid was absolutely transfixed by the huge bear, it was sooooo sweet!!! The mum told her to say bye-bye to the bear, and she toddled up to it and solemnly said, "Buh-bye Keggy Bear", the way kids do when they believe the bear is really listening. You know how kids when they're transfixed by something, they walk away from it but can't take their eyes off it all the same? Well she did just that, and I couldn't stop watching her. I've seen kids do this a MILLION times but this time was different. It's like everything I see like this, that used to just make me think, "Yeah, that's sweet" or not notice it at all, now it pings on my maternal thingumy really bad and lately it's worse than ever. I almost feel ashamed to admit (don't know why I should though) that as she walked away from the bear like that, I got this huge upsurge of emotion - a big lump in my throat and misty eyes. I don't know WHAT is the matter with me. Anything to do with having a child is affecting me like this these days. It's SO much worse than last month even. As I drive around the streets seeing children with their parents or babies being pushed in prams and stuff, two words seem to fill my head - IT'S TIME. Sounds so dramatic. But really, those are the words in my head. It is driving me crazy that it's so so so so so (can't describe it) SO "time", and yet we aren't at that point where we're trying for a baby yet. Not quite. It's making me crazy when I see babies and pregnant women. But now even more things are making me crazy like that, things like baby seats in empty shopping trolleys, children's TV programmes, toast cut up into soldiers, and playgrounds - with or without children in them. I get that same chokey emotiony feeling every time I see any of these things and the whole "it's time, darn it!!" thing.
Oh well. There's nothing I can do about that except wait just a bit longer. And hope hope hope hope hope to get pregnant when we try in two or three months.
Thank you Ash for your guestbook entry. I don't know as much about slings as you think! I would heartily recommend asking Mia or Aisling about slings because they have the experience and probably know what to tell you better than I do. I researched using Maya slings but I don't really like the design although people say they're good. I personally want to use a Wilkinet baby carrier/sling because of their versatility and weight distribution, and also because people are RAVING about them at UKparents!!! But I don't know much about them really. Sorry not to be much help! I just don't have the experience yet.
I bought baby clothes today. My big baby-fund is empty now :( Today's buy was the mother of all bargains though! I have 15 baby items and outfits for �15!!! I got them from a charity shop and some of them are still new with tags on! They are beautiful, most of them from Baby Gap and Gymboree and Carter's. Does anyone know Carter's? I've never heard of them. But their clothes are adorable! Well, the ones I've got are anyway. The 15 items included a Carter's cot blanket with ducklings embroidered on it, which will be fine for the crib or a pram too. And a Baby Gap 0-3mths gro-bag, which normally sell for something silly like �40 or something! It was as new. Literally. It's white velour, soft and squidgy and it has embroidered white rabbits on the scratch mitt bits. I can't believe how much of a bargain I picked up! I also picked up something I won on eBay last week - a nappy (diaper) pail which has a yellow lid and a blue bucket with colourful fish all over it, and the words "splish, splash". It's the most lovely nappy pail I've seen, even in the shops! Can you believe I am like this over a NAPPY BUCKET?!!! At least I feel reassured knowing there are many thousands of cloth-nappy-crazy mothers out there too!
I made another nappy yesterday. First one I've made in aaaages. We've had two pastel green towels for years, Neil used to work at a homesy/curtainy shop after he finished university for a bit and he got them there for free because they had some weird staining. But anyway, the staining is out and we've been using them for years. He took them to church when he did Sunday school with the boys recently, and used them to mop up the chocolate mousse they were feeding each other blindfolded!!!! Our towels!!!!! One of them has a chocolate stain that won't come out - hooray!!!! Three hours after this discovery and a roll of cream thread and 10 inches of quarter-inch elastic later, it was a size one Tots Bots replica nappy, plus matching fleece-topped booster pad!!! Hehe! And there's enough of the towel left to make another one too, plus two cloth wipes. I pounce on towels like a hawk these days! If they get worn or stained, they're mine, and they get turned into nappies before you can say "who's a nutty cloth-freak then?!" Neil gets nervous because sometimes when we're having a cuddle because I get that distant look when I'm stroking his niiiice flannely shirts, and he knows I'm thinking, "Hmmm, wouldn't this be nice against my baby's bum?!" Hehe, I think he worries that he'll reach in the drawer one day and find a huge nappy-shaped hole in the back of a favourite shirt!! ;) I adore making nappies. I love the growing pile that I can line up and see real fitted nappies looking thirsty and cute, ready for my precious little baby to wee and poo in!! What am I LIKE?!!
Ohhhkay. I also won other things at eBay last week, but I'm a-slowin' down now! I have to, we ran out of baby money. Thank you Grandmummy, for the lovely lovely baby things your money afforded us so far. I got a VAST tent-like pair of denim maternity shorts that arrived today and gave us a good laugh when I held them to me - I could fit at least TWO people in those shorts! And they'd have to be pulled up to my collar bone (practically!) for the crotch to be in the right place!!! They say size 10 but hmmm, I don't know! I also got a very very nice white sleeveless shirt from Next (well, through eBay but it's still got tags on), and the nappy bucket. Also a couple more velour sleepsuits. I have to update my lists of what we've got for the different baby sizes. I think we are pretty much there. Some of the outfits I bought today are for 6-12 months so that gets us started on that size too. I already have the two dungaree outfits for 6-12 months but anyway, a few more things now.
I heard on the radio the other day that a first baby will cost it's parents �3,500 in the first year of it's life, it was a new survey thingy about new parents and holiday spending or something. But it was interesting. I got a LOT of satisfaction from thinking, well it's not gonna cost US that much! We had that advice from our pastor and his wife when we did our marriage preparation course with them. They said we'd be soooo broke when we had children, but it would come right after a few years or something. Well I'm not surprised modern parents are shelling out �3,500 with the way they are educated to do things these days. I'm not surprised they spend thousands of pounds if they all go out and buy 3000 nappies and never-ending wipes in the first year of a baby's life. USE CLOTH, YOU NITWITS!!!!!!!! (oops, slightly contraversial of me, sorry! 
)
Think about it, 3000 nappies..... thirty six nappies...... 3000 nappies...... thirty six nappies..... now, which seems the greater waste of money?!!! Or the (usually) needless expense of formula milk. Or even (more contraversial still!!) expensive baby furniture - we'll be saving on that because our baby will be sleeping with us in our room, hey, that saves us a whole bedroom for guests too! I am trying to think of the main "costs" of a baby in it's first year. I think it's these:
� Furniture (eg. cots, dressers, etc for nursery, plus highchairs, etc)
� Nappies and wipes
� Food
� Clothing
� Toys and activities
� Travelling aids (!!) - eg. pushchairs, carseats, slings, and all accessories
I think that's the main stuff. Remind me if I've forgotten anything!
Well we have to get highchairs, etc, but not furniture anymore. I can convert the spare wardrobe by building internal shelving and hanging an extra rail, that will make a perfectly good baby wardrobe, and it's a pretty pine one so that's fine. Nappies and wipes are history baby! You know all about me and nappies 'n' wipes!! :) Food, well, I plan to exclusively breastfeed till six months. I read that exclusively breastfed babies are better off waiting till six months of age before solids are introduced. Which is fine with me. So that's the first six months - free food!! Except for the extra good nutrition for me to keep up the breastfeeding. Breastfeeding mothers need even better nutrition than during pregnancy. And huuuuge amounts of fluids! Okay, for solids, I'm sure it costs loads to go out and buy those little jars. Why can't I just invest in a food processor/blender and puree the food we already eat ourselves for the baby? That's what I read in a natural baby food book and it sounds like a marvellous idea to me. Why shouldn't my baby be eating pretty much what we eat? The book has recipes for adult meals that are suitable for babies too. So yay. Cheap baby food, that's probably ten thousands times better for them than jar stuff. Yum.
Clothing is fun because I already have pretty much everything I'll NEED for a newborn, 0-3 month-old, 3-6 month-old, and vests for 6-12 month-olds. Plus towels, bibs, etc for all ages. I still need a lot more for the 6-12 month age group but that's fine because I have ages to go yet! So we're well underway for clothing for the first year, and I reckon we've spent ummm..... �400 ish on second hand baby clothes for that. Sounds like such a lot!!!! But it wouldn't have got us much on new stuff. Toys and activities are going to cost us, and we haven't bought any of those yet. Those can wait till I'm pregnant I think! I won't be buying many of the expensive things that are aimed at parents who put their babies down a lot, because I want to baby-wear as long as possible and thus won't be needing things to put my baby "in" for long periods.
Travelling aids, that will be expensive unless I find a very good deal second hand for things like pushchairs or travel systems. Lizzy told me about getting a new carseat because of safety whatsits, so we'll do that. But I am pretty darn sure we won't be spending even half of that average �3,500 in the first year of our baby's life, so I am thrilled that the Attachment Parenting values I'm getting so "into" are not only wonderful things to do, they are also saving us HUGE money!!! Yay!
Okay this has been a really preachy ranty entry hasn't it? I've just read it back and realised. I hope nobody's been offended by my, er, strength of feeling (!!) over some things. Some things just seem illogical to me (live long.... and prosper) because they are so so so so obvious - aren't they?!!!! Just on the money front, but also they have soooo many other benefits and when you really look into it, they aren't bad things to have to sacrifice/bring yourself to do - like the cloth nappies. They are the MOST fun!!!! And next to no money. And cute and yummy. And healthier for a baby and the environment. Yeah. Makes too much sense to me, that's all. I am too prone to activism! *sigh*
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