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2006-06-03 - 9.18pm��previous entry��next entry
39 weeks, 3 days pregnant - baby shower and stuff
Here I am again - another day pregnant and another day closer to having Matthew, but still here! Four days till my due date. I just wanted to update to keep my daily diary checkers happy, hehe! And to just make sure I have every little detail of the end of my pregnancy recorded. I know I'll be comparing like crazy at the end of the next one and it would bug me if there were any gaps at this stage!
I went to my baby shower today, and it was lovely! It was very much focused on Michelle as she's having her first baby, and the idea was to get gifts for her and just generally socialise. Also eat lots of sweet food! :) Everyone brought a pudding or dessert or cake or something, and they were all laid out on the table and we just piled in! I ate soooo much sweet stuff, it was wonderful! But yeah I felt kind of sick after a while :) But it was worth it!
It was so nice that everyone was excited to see me! I felt a bit self-conscious when I arrived as I knew it wasn't meant to be a big deal for ME, and also I haven't been going to church much so I felt suddenly like I hadn't really kept up friendships with the ladies there and maybe I'd just feel like a bit of a lemon sitting in the corner or something?! But it was lovely. Everyone exclaimed, "HERE she is!!" as I walked in, which was so nice and unexpected! Everyone was excited for me that I'm due so soon.
The only thing that made me feel rather deflated (though I feel bad that I felt this way) was that when I arrived, someone told me that my friend Katie (who was due 2 days after me) had her baby girl this morning. I feel so happy for her, but sooooo envious and just all deflated that she's beat me to it, lol! I know that's crap of me, but I can't seem to shake the feeling. I wish I could have MY baby. Anyway it's lovely for Katie. Everything went well and she's called Bethany and weighed in at 6lbs 3oz. I feel a bit left behind :( I know it's my turn soon but it feels like it could be forever yet! That just leaves me and Michelle, and Michelle isn't due for 5 more weeks. She was in hospital on Tuesday having contractions though, and she is easily as big as me, so everyone was saying maybe Michelle will beat me to it as well! That would be seriously depressing!
Anyway, the baby shower was lovely. Neil went out with Arthur in the morning and got some food shopping and also picked up a few little things to wrap and give to Michelle as gifts at the baby shower, so that was a relief! I didn't want to go without a present for her. Catherine was there with her tiny baby boy, and it was just a lovely afternoon. Everybody complimented me on how well I'm looking and I even got compliments on Arthur, though he wasn't even there! Which I always love :)
It was such a lovely day today - the weather has been GORGEOUS. I don't know what the temperature was, but it has been HOT (though not the kind of hot that makes me complain a lot in my diaries, hehe) the sky has been blue all day and the trees are just FULL and bright green and the air is just zinging with summer. I drove through the park to get to the baby shower and I was thinking what a beautiful day it would be to be born! I told Matthew so, but he hasn't taken any notice, it seems! Bethany did though. She was born on a lovely summery day! Tomorrow is forecast the same.
I can't believe this is the weekend that I have been praying to have my baby on for so long, and it's already half gone with no signs of labour :( I feel pfthth about it, even though it's silly because God knows best and I KNOW Matthew is coming soon in any case. I mean, I'm due in 4 days, so I very much doubt I'll be waiting longer than 10 days now. Which is nooo time at all to feel sure I'll have my baby in my arms by! But right now I just don't WANT to wait 10 more days, or 6, or 3 even! I want to get birthing already!
Today I inflated my birth ball at LAST, and spent a while bouncing on it, and again this evening. On the way home from the baby shower, driving the car, Matthew's head was pressing SO hard into my cervix that it hurt and hurt like a grating, pinching pain. I couldn't stop it because I was stuck in that position, but wow it hurt. On the other hand, I didn't feel I wanted to stop it because it is surely a GOOD thing if his hard little head is squishing my soft cervix to make it nice and flattened out and ready to dilate! I have had that same pain/discomfort a LOT since I got home, and when I get a contraction (Braxton Hicks, don't get too excited!) and I rock back and forth in my chair at the same time, his head grinds my cervix so that I get the same pain then as well.
Neil bought fresh pineapple for me this morning and I'm planning to eat some tonight. I just want to roll my eyes at MYSELF for starting to try all these not-at-all-likely methods of getting my body nearer to or INTO labour, but I just would rather try things than not! Except not the horrible methods! Which at the moment includes parsnips. That's just a yeurghy thing that I can't believe people DO at the moment, hehe! ;) I have pre-warned Neil that I may get desperate enough to demand his seed again soon though, hahaha! ;) He has been duly warned. Poor man.
Mummy and Neil did lots to the upstairs while I was at the baby shower. Arthur cried when he saw me pulling away in the car, but they told me he stopped pretty quick when they brought him back inside after I had gone, and he was fine after that. His face when he saw me as I arrived home was just about THE most precious gift I could have been given today though :) My lil man loves his mummy!
I let him breastfeed for AGES at bedtime tonight. I figured the nipple stimulation couldn't be a bad thing at this stage! I had several strong Braxton Hicks while I was breastfeeding him, but then - to my amazement! - he just stopped breastfeeding after a while, turned over in bed and went to sleep by himself!! Which is GREAT, we've been wondering how to get him to sleep more independently for a while, but waaaah I love breastfeeding him to sleep! And just when I wanted the nipple stimulation for labour as well! ;)
This evening I went back to my pregnancy diary entries for Arthur's pregnancy, and I sort of don't feel that encouraged because I was surprised to find that at this exact gestation (and the couple of days before) things were feeling pretty much EXACTLY as they are now. I had actually had more periody discomfort by now LAST pregnancy than I have so far this time. I was also feeling deflated and like I was going to have to wait ages, etc, on this very gestation last pregnancy, just like today. My pregnancies are toooo weirdly identical. Which leads me to believe/wonder that I might not go into labour till a couple of days after my due date, just like with Arthur. Which feels a bit depressing at the moment :(
I am going to check my cervix. I don't care! I just want to see if it's even IN my body at all! ;)
Urgh, I am so discouraged. Same as yesterday, I don't think I can even reach it. Which means I am going to be pregnant for AGES yet, maybe even 9 more months. I do think I could reach the edge of it though, tonight, and it was soft and flatish-feeling. But poo, because I know that a high cervix is a good sign that labour is not imminent. I know I should stop poking my cervix but I can't help checking just to get a heads up on whether to be all excited about the possibility of labour within the next 24 hours, etc. Which it looks like there is NONE at all, so the weekend will just fizzle away and I'll still be pregnant and why won't God let me just have a baby when I have prayed and prayed that I would be allowed to give birth to him THIS weekend?! Oh dear, whiney is not pretty in my diary, so I think I will stop for now! I'll update tomorrow probably. Mummy is coming over again to do more to the house with me and Neil - well, two of us will work on the house while one of us entertains Arthur, at any given time! She isn't coming over till midday though.
I noticed at this stage last pregnancy I was escaping into my Theme Hospital game on the Playstation, which temporarily took away my blues over being sure I would be pregnant for at least 50 more years, so maybe I'll dig that game out again and play on it a bit this evening? I feel so silly about the whole wanting-to-go-into-labour thing that I almost feel tearful about it, I feel so disappointed. It's so silly! It's not like he's going to wait much longer in there! I just so wanted it to be soon and not into the second half of my parents' visit. But oh well. It will be how it's meant to be!
Thank you for the absolutely LOVELY messages and notes! I love to read them, and today especially I felt so uplifted when I came online to waffle about waiting and found such lovely happy messages! :) Thank you!! xxx
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