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2006-06-02 - 11.39pm��previous entry��next entry
39 weeks, 2 days - my parents are here (yay!) and midwife appt...
Hehe, you guys are so sweet and funny in my guestbook! ;) Well, I'm not giving birth yet! Still here at 39 weeks and 2 days - FIVE to go till the due date! Although the actual due date is taking on less and less importance as a milestone in my mind now, as now I'm this close, it doesn't really have much bearing on the actual date I'll give birth. I feel like I'm "due" NOW and will be until I give birth, whenever that is, lol!
Jemma you're so sweet thinking of all the different dates and spacing possibilities! :) I didn't know the Queen's birthday was Monday! I know her official do-dah was April but I didn't know about the real one. I'm one of those apparently RARE people (according to everyone else at my June due dates group!) who doesn't care a bit about the 6/6/06 birth date. Lots of people seem to be freaking out about it at my due dates group, but it doesn't bother me. The way I explained my feelings on it to the group was, the big anti-Christ hype is something I consider to be superstition, and superstition + my faith in God don't really mix. Also, everything about Matthew is a gift from God - even the meaning of his name! :) I prayed about the pregnancy before he was even conceived, and I just know that God has planned his life and his birth and his death and everything. God is the only one who knows the date of Matthew's birth, even the timing down to the millisecond! There's no room for anything of Satan in that, as far as I'm concerned, so if he turns up on Tuesday the 6th, praise God! It will be because it's the day God chose for Matthew to be born, and that's all I care about! To dwell on the 6/6/6 thing would totally go against my faith in God and his hand on Matthew's arrival. So I'm fine with that date! But to be honest, I'd still rather it was BEFORE then, just so I can get on with having a baby and stop feeling uncomfy, hehe!
Talking of which, I am having some pre-labourish "niggles", I think. Different to anything before, anyway, which has got to count for something! The night before last, I finally fell into bed at around 1am (urgh, way too late but soooo much to do at the last minute!), and the instant I lay down, this dragging period pain crept across the lower part of my bump. I was thinking of a million other things at the time, and I was so absent-minded about it that the only semi-thought I gave it for a couple of seconds was, "Ohhh, I'm getting my period!" because it literally felt like that. After those couple of seconds I snapped back to reality and realised that, um, I'm not actually DUE a period at the moment, hehe! So then I got all nervous that it was the start of something, as I haven't had ANY period-like dragging aching pain since I had my last period before I got pregnant with Matthew. I have had crampy discomfort from time to time, or twinges, etc, but no actual period pain. It wasn't contractions and it didn't come and go, it just sat there exactly like period pain would. I had that the day before I started having regular contractions and then went into labour the next day after that, last time. So I was kind of intrigued by that!
A few minutes after the period pain started, I got a mild contraction that felt periody and uncomfortable. I glanced at the clock, so I was able to see when I had another one that it was 6 minutes later. I had another one 6 minutes after that, and another one 7 minutes later, and then I got kind of nervous and told Matthew that Nana was still on the ferry and he must wait till she was here! I had one super weak contraction after that and then I fell asleep, and obviously nothing has come from it, as I'm here writing about it! :)
I had no period pain when I got up in the morning yesterday, and my lovely parents arrived at around 10.45am! Yay! Daddy stayed an hour or so before dashing off places to tie up loose-ends with his business, which always needs doing when he is over in England. Mummy stayed ALL DAY and Daddy came back just before Neil got home from work! They left shortly after he got home, and they're staying with my grandparents at the moment, about 30 minutes drive away. I am just sooooo happy that they're here! :) The sense of relief is huge, but not as complete as I was expecting because the house is just in SUCH a state! It's in absolutely no condition to give birth in, let alone bring a new baby upstairs and go to sleep after it's all over! The upstairs is a total disaster area - both bedrooms look like we're in the middle of moving house or something, and there's no room for cots/Moses baskets, etc like we had hoped there would be by now. I have ordered another mesh bedguard for the spare bed, and we have a new mattress on it (safe for Matthew as it's firmer and conforms to safety do-dahs) as of yesterday. So when the bedguard arrives I will feel safe to co-sleep with him on that bed if that's how it works out, and especially if we don't have any other option set up! The fixings for the cot bed are officially lost, I am so annoyed! Today, Mummy and I turned out the last place we could think of that they might be. My husband, bless his heart, is so scatty. He never seems to think to put screws and fittings away with the wood they go with! Urgh.
Anyway! Yesterday throughout the day I had times where I felt that dragging period pain again for quite a while at a time. Not in contractions, just dragging away like I had my period - although not actually as bad as the first day of my period. Just exactly like the couple of hours leading up to my period, that kind of thing. Last night I did notice I was having very frequent Braxton Hicks contractions, but I'm so used to that and they were not accompanied by any periody discomfort, so I basically ignored them completely.
Today the midwife came round - it wasn't Pat, but thankfully it wasn't my somewhat-crappy midwife either! It was a midwife from the community midwives' team that I hadn't met yet, and she was really nice. She asked me if I had been getting any twinges yet, and I told her about the period pain over the last 36 hours. She said that was a promising sign. She said that they often see with second labours that it takes the body a similar amount of time as for the first baby to limber up for labour, which she said the period pains sounded like. But when labour actually starts it then goes much more quickly than the first time. Which sounds good to me!
She felt my tummy and said Matthew's head is still about 3/5 palpable, though he is low in there in general. She said she wouldn't really expect him to drop any lower until I'm in labour now, and then when he does, things should get going very quickly. She listened to his heartbeat with the doppler and it was between 115 and 125 the whole time. It seems a bit slow to me, but she said it was the slow end of normal, and perfectly fine. He has had that kind of heartrate throughout actually, always much slower than Arthur's was, so I geuss it's fine for him. He is moving about fine, and gave some wiggles of protest when he was being felt through my tummy!
The midwife took my blood pressure and it was 128/76, yay! I told her about how it had been raised, although I did get two pretty good readings yesterday, along with two NOT so good readings at other times! She tested my urine and there's not even a trace of protein so she thinks everything is fine, and I shouldn't worry. She thinks it's just another sign that my body is gearing up for labour, in my case. I do have leukocytes in my urine again, but she felt sure that it was just contamination from my mucus plug, which I am not exactly LOSING, but my discharge is still plentiful and mucousy, so it's definitely coming from the mucus plug in some way. Anyway, that would explain the leukocytes, so that's good.
When she had listened to all my symptoms and checked everything, she said she thought it might be wise for me to get everything done that I felt was still outstanding TODAY, and then rest up after today. She said that obviously there is no way to tell when I'm going to go into labour, but it did sound promising for things to be happening this weekend, from how I was describing things so far! Yay! I hope she's right, although I do know she might be way off. I know it's just a random wait-and-see game, no matter what anyone says! But I'm so glad to be able to say, "The midwife says she thinks I could be in labour over the weekend" (it's Friday today) because it's been stressing me somewhat that Neil and my mum think it's going to be fine to just get round to the mainstay of the clearing up and preparing "over the weekend" ready for when I give birth next week. They seem so laid-back about it and I can't seem to get across to them the sense of urgency I feel about it! I feel like they think I'm just being hormonal and like a very pregnant woman who is simply stressing about having things ready, etc. I don't want them to think of it like that! I want them to go, "Oh my goodness, you really COULD give birth tomorrow! We'd better take it seriously and actually get things done BEFORE then!!" So I'm really thankful that the midwife said what she did! :) Also it means I can rest up more from tomorrow, and wait for labour. Today I haven't really done much in the way of house-sorting, but I feel exhausted as though I have.
I do sooooo hope this midwife happens to be right. My parents have got it in their heads that Matthew will arrive on June 9th, for some reason! Two days after his due date. I think it's because that's when I went into labour with Arthur. But they are so set on that date that they seem almost relaxed about anything happening before then. They keep saying they don't think it's likely, and other things sure to annoy the heck out of a desperately huge pregnant person who feels like SHE should be the only one saying what she feels is likely or not! Tsk! *I* feel like Matthew may come before his due date, maybe even this weekend. So I'm happy that the midwife thought so too. But I'm well aware that the two of us could be very wrong! That would bug me sooooooo much though! I really want to have a baby now, but something in me still wants to hold back and feels nervous about the idea, because my nest just ISN'T ready yet.
I feel weirdly anxious about giving birth all of a sudden. I don't know why, and it's really silly of me. Last time was my FIRST time giving birth and I wasn't in the least bit scared! Although it was rather more drawn-out and painful than I'd imagined it would be, I'm pretty sure that hasn't put me off. I've felt confident about the next birth ever since, and have fond memories of the last one, even with the issues I had at the time. So why am I suddenly scared of it?! I know that a part of it is fear of vomiting, because although I didn't throw up during labour last time, I know labours can be really different and I AM scared silly of throwing up this time. Especially since I seem to feel so nauseous on and off these days, which is often made worse when I have a Braxton Hicks contraction. I hope I have the type of labour that is non-throwy-uppy! But the rest of the anxiety, I have no idea what that's about. Maybe it's because I feel like I have other responsibilities for Arthur now, so I can't totally shut off and just be with my body during labour. I want everything to be okay for Arthur during the whole thing, and I'm not sure how it's actually going to go in that dept.
Anyway. The midwife warned me not to exhaust myself doing stuff now, because it's too likely that I'll fall into bed completely exhausted, and labour will start 2 hours later or something! She said to get things done today, but not THREE days of getting things done or anything, because then I would be too tired out when it came time to have a baby. I will try, and at least I have been able to pass that on to Neil (who sounded very nervous when I rang him at work to tell him about my midwife appt, hehe!) and hopefully it means everybody will help me by getting things done more urgently and quickly now. I just want to relax in my ready-feathered nest and feel like I'm just waiting for a baby, not waiting for things to be made READY for a baby so that I can be in a good way to have him!
I want to check my cervix later. I am just too curious not to! It has been about a week, maybe a day or so less, since I checked it last. I'm just curious.... The midwife arranged for Pat to come and visit me with her student next Tuesday, which is only 4 days away but it's the day before my due date and she said that would be the best day for it to be Pat who would visit :) She said at 40 weeks if I wasn't showing any signs of labour, they would offer me a sweep there and then, but I just smiled and nodded, because I would decline one of those. I think if I felt desperate enough I would be sorely tempted, but I don't want anyone fiddling with what my body is perfectly capable of doing naturally, and so I wouldn't want a sweep. She said I may not even get to that appointment anyway. Thankfully she didn't mention the bit about how they like you to book an appointment to see the consultant at the hospital for 41 weeks to discuss induction. There is no way I would attend, or even arrange such an appointment! 41 weeks is a week before I'm even considered overdue! I know it's just to discuss induction, but I am not having any of it, so I don't want to go to discuss it. My body will do it, I trust it completely to give birth. It was built and equipped perfectly to do so, and does not need the help of modern technology thank you very much! It amazes me how many of my June due dates buddies have already had their babies as a result of scheduled inductions (like a dozen or more of them!) BEFORE it's even June!!!! That is just crazy. Some of them have medical reasons (some of those a bit pathetic however) to induce, but some don't. I get the impression there are FAR more inductions and interventions in the U.S. than there are here, as this is an American board. I know inductions happen here all the time, but as far as I'm aware it's nothing on the scale of over there! Anyways, I don't want one!
Okay it's HOURS later now and I've checked my cervix, and I almost wish I hadn't started checking it in the first place because I'm so confused and annoyed about it! Last time I checked it was pretty obvious, but this time I could not tell what was what at ALL. Which either means I couldn't find it (can a cervix that's come down in preparation for labour even DO that at this stage - change its mind and go back up again?!), or I HAVE found it (which I thought I might have the second time I checked) but it's considerably more effaced than before and thus much harder to feel. Urgh, I don't know, and it's bugging me that I just couldn't tell one way or the other, so I wish I hadn't started checking in the first place as then I wouldn't be so irritated by not knowing now! Tsk. I just get too curious, that's all ;)
I have had some periody discomfort today but not loads. I just know I'm going to feel fed-up and disappointed if I haven't gone into labour by my due date. Which is silly, as I'm not even DUE till then! But I just want SO much to have Matthew before then. I am just so uncomfy, and I so badly want my mum to be around to help with Arthur and things around the house for as long as possible afterwards. Last time they went back to France 3 days after Arthur was born, which was just NO time at all, especially considering that I was in the hospital for 2 full days and nights out of those three. And their leaving coincided with the hugearooney hormone drop, which I forgot about and Neil reminded me today that when my parents left I was sobbing and crying about it for hours. I forgot that! I only remember sobbing and crying about Arthur's feeding for DAYS on end, nothing else. But I really don't need my parents' leaving coinciding with that hormonal thingy a few days after the birth! At the moment I suddenly feel like it's not going to happen for AGES yet and so I'll have to wait and get more and more stressy and watch the window of my parents' visit close up more and more while we sit and wait for me to have a baby :( Which would suck somewhat. But I fear that's what will happen. All of a sudden, I WANT to go into labour and get things happening, but that's when I suddenly feel like nothing is going to work to make it happen and I'll just end up waiting waaay longer than I'd hoped. Pfthth.
On a brighter note, I have my baby shower tomorrow afternoon! It's the one that isn't really "my baby shower" - the ladies' social for the four of us at church who have had or are having their babies between May and July. It's really a baby shower for the one girl who is having her first baby and has organised all the baby showers at church to date, Michelle. I need to buy her a little gift still, but I can't fathom when I'll be able to! I am really looking forward to it, as it should be a lovely afternoon! I was hoping originally that I'd be able to attend it and then give birth like THAT NIGHT or the next day - no later! So I still hope hope hope that will somehow miraculously be the case! Otherwise Monday will arrive and I will feel slightly pants about it all, despite only being 39+5 and not at my due date yet. I'm being silly. But yeah.
Okay it's somehow CRAZY late and I'm tired out (which I wasn't supposed to be!). It's Saturday tomorrow and Neil is home for the weekend from work, yay! My mummy is coming over from noon tomorrow to help with Arthur and the house, and she's staying to help Neil while I am at my baby shower :) It's so great to have her help! I'm so happy because Arthur is totally confident and relaxed with her, and the last two days running, he has happily gone out for nearly an hour's walk with her, without even glancing back at me as they left! He came home happy and smiley, and most importantly, nice and tired for bedtime, hehe! Anyway I am so encouraged because it means it's likely that he will be happy enough with Nana when I'm in labour if there's a time when I need some space from him or just want Neil with me, etc.
Okay, definitely going to bed now! I'll update again soon. I like writing more frequently! I don't get much time for anything else online, but writing about my thoughts and symptoms at the moment is the main thing I want to do anyway right now. Thank you for the lovely messages again! I feel so "cheered on" and supported here! :)
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