Journal
Sign guestbook
Arthur's Mummy's Diary
Matthew's Belly Gallery
Nathan's Belly Gallery
Benjamin's Belly Gallery
My Fertility Friend Chart
2004-01-07 - 10.00am��previous entry��next entry
Doing better, and update on tests
Thanks everybody for your guestbook messages!! :) Ahhh I feel loved! I really appreciate your support and helpful comments.
Well I am updating to say that I took poor Neil's sperm sample to the hospital path lab this morning. He would have been a bit late for work I think, but it worked out okay, because I just took him to the station and his sperm to the hospital nearby (hehe!) and sat in the car keeping it warm (mmm!) till they opened at 9am. It's so undignified for a man, isn't it?! Poor Neil. But anyway, it's great that it's done and now they are looking at his wee spermies as I type (probably). I knew FULL well that there was no way they would give me the results at the path lab, but that didn't stop me being desperate enough to ask! "Nooooo, no!" said the technician, "We don't give results!" Which of course I knew, and I was already shaking my head to agree with her "Nooooo, no!" before she'd finished saying it, I felt so silly for having asked. But I am a desperate woman you see. Yes.
So she said my doctor should have the results by LATE Friday, which is much better than I'd expected. However, my doctor's surgery is usually useless at having results ready when you actually expect them, so I'm not holding out much hope for Friday. I reeeeally hope they will be in Friday afternoon and that I can get to see my doctor or at least get told the actual results somehow on Friday, because I hate the idea of waiting over the weekend. Although actually c'mon, that's not really a big deal is it?
Well I don't know if you can tell, but I am a lot more upbeat at the moment! Yay! I'm so glad to be feeling happier. It was the worst feeling to feel like I did. Reading the online diaries of children who have died of cancer since Christmas - one or two since New Year even - has given me a whole different perspective. One of these kids was a 12-year-old who died on Sunday and who had THE most amazing faith in God and the most beautiful character. Anyway, I have a new perspective on life for the moment, thanks to these kids, and I feel like infertility (if I even get to that) cannot bite me in the butt like cancer can, and even that is overcome by zest for life like these lovely kids had even to the end, and the power of a loving God. So there. I am encouraged.
I knew I was feeling better when I was itching to show Neil the baby clothes I got in the post from eBay yesterday evening! Showing him baby clothes is always so much fun, I always feel like a little kid showing a favourite adult something they are really proud of. It's exciting! :) I have a little padded coat, a white sweater, padded soft dungarees, and my two favourite items - a totally cute little pink corduroy dress with detailed embroidery on the hem, and a matching shirt with embroidery on the collar. It is MUCH cuter than it sounds. And the other favourite item is a pink velour sort of overalls outfit, but with feet. It is the softest thickest velour I've ever felt, and it has a little tag on the seam saying, "Little One" which Neil likes a lot because that's what he calls me :) Anyway. I need a little girl. But I want my little boy too! :) I just love love LOVE my children completely to pieces before they're even here. I don't know if I'll have all boys or all girls, but I love them. I love the first baby a lot right now because he/she is all I'm thinking about most of the time.
I spent ages just stroking the little velour thing last night. It's newborn size. I can't believe a tiny little soft crumply body may fill that one day, with half of me and half of Neil in it. For some reason my brain just boggles trying to comprehend that. Ahhh I feel so mushy inside when I stroke the baby clothes, I just want my little one NOW so that I can do all the cuddling and kissing I'm longing to do right NOW!! But I can wait (for now, heh).
Well I will keep you updated on how things are going and especially the test results. Someone has advised me that my hormone tests on CD25 will be fine, and that FSH and LH can be tested for at any stage of the cycle, so that's a relief. I am not obsessing about endometriosis anymore which is good! Hopefully I don't have it, but I'll keep an eye on anything I feel odd about and be sure to mention it to the doctor.
I always feel better as my period gets to an end, because that always heralds the start of the next big chance! It's exciting really. It's just a shame when it all ends in sadness each time. But hopefully not for much longer!
Recent entries.....
Babies 7 and 8! :) - 2016-01-10
Babies 6 and 7! - 2013-02-17
Baby #5 !! - 2010-04-03
Nearly 3 months postpartum! - 2009-10-05
6 weeks old already! - 2009-08-25