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2003-12-07 - 3.15pm��previous entry��next entry
Cycle 7....
Just a quick update. I got my period yesterday.
Not much else to say about that really is there? So now we are on Cycle 7. Why am I not getting pregnant? This is getting silly. Some people still tell me it's early days yet, but it's obviously getting less and less "early days" as the months pass by and nothing is any different at all. I do not understand it.
I don't know what was going on with my hormones to make me so weird for more than half of my last cycle, and this period has been awful. It started on Friday, so a nice 28 day cycle for me, but I was very dizzy on Thursday and Friday, and ended up having to stay in bed the whole of Saturday. I slept 15 hours and had to take maximum doses of painkillers around the clock. My face puffed up like a.... puffy thing, and just felt completely weak and grim. All of which is totally weird for my periods. Although maybe I have had one or two like that before, but a long time ago. So maybe this has just been a freak assault of hormones?! But I am getting concerned because a) it was weird, b) we are not getting pregnant, and c) my hormonal symptoms have been progressively getting worse every cycle.
So this cycle I want to get some blood tests done to have my hormone levels checked. I'm not sure if it's going to be possible this cycle though, because Christmas and New Year are going to fall in the way, so I might have to wait till Cycle 8 in the new year. At least if I get normal test results it will put my mind at ease. Actually no it won't, because then I still won't understand why we're not conceiving. But it will be better knowing my hormones are as they should be. Except I don't think they are.... But then at least I could get treatment for that. And if all my stuff is normal then we will definitely have Neil checked out as well, just to rule that out (I hope). I am one for worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet, and I can't help worrying these last four or five months, that Neil might have a low sperm count. I don't know why, it's just been on my mind. The other thing that worries me silly is that I might have blocked tubes. I hate this. Aren't you supposed to make sure you use contraception to avoid any "accidents"? Isn't that drummed into you your whole life? Then how come when you forget the contraception and start actually trying, nothing happens at all?
Once or twice we worried that we might have conceived when we didn't want to - years back. We wished we'd used contraception one of those times, and the other time we worried that the contraception didn't work. But we weren't pregnant, and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that we'd got lucky or something. Little did we realise that we probably weren't at any risk of pregnancy at all. I don't know that, but maybe. Well, obviously, if we aren't getting pregnant now with all the trying we can do.
Bleurgh.
Anyway. Does anybody know of a good source of information on hormone levels and what they should be, and what to say to your doctor when you go to have tests, etc? I don't feel I am clued up enough to feel confident visiting the doctor yet, and I want to learn, but I haven't the faintest idea where to start. Is there a book or website that will tell me all I need to know? I have asked this at my TTC forum too, but just incase anyone who reads my diary knows (April?!).
In other news, I have not made any nappies lately. I have made more cloth wipes though, with my overlocker.
I held a baby on Thursday - Cameron's baby brother, who is 8 weeks old. I held him for hours and hours and hours. Sometimes I walked him (he is windy), sometimes I just held him in my arms, or else lifted him up till his face was right in front of mine, just to look at him close. Or sometimes I sat with him lying in my lap, stroking his tummy. He is so cute. I am so comfortable holding babies. I do not worry about how to hold them at all. Maybe that's the midwifery training? I don't know. I wish I had one of my own to hold.
His mum talked to me about TTC for a while, because it took them a year to conceive Nathan (the baby). She said she conceived after their deadline - they gave themselves till Christmas last year, and decided that they would not try any longer than that. She conceived between Christmas and New Year! So she thinks I should try not to think about conceiving. That's sooooo easy to say but I don't know HOW I'm going to put it into practise. Anyway, I thought we had already tried that for the last 2 cycles, when we took a break.
We won a baby changing station at eBay. We are really pleased with it because it's pine (as is all our other furniture). I hope it's gonna be flat-packed though, because I'm not sure if we can fit it in the spare bedroom at the moment! But if we can, it will be helpful to store my finished nappies and wipes on. Anyway, we decided ages ago that we would want a changing station when we have a baby, and we would prefer a wooden one, but they are SO expensive. So we are thrilled with this one, because it has a baby bath in it too, with a plug hole for easy emptying! It's retailed at �200 (pretty much what we've been finding in catalogues and shops, etc), but this is in excellent condition and I won it for �62 plus postage! Neil said to go for it when I showed it to him, because even if we take a while to have a baby, we will want something this lovely in the end, and I don't think we'll find anything cheaper. So I bid. And I won!
Here are two photos of it - they won't work for long because they're from the eBay site, so I guess the images will be discarded pretty soon now that the auction has closed. But here they are:
Hopefully it will arrive next week, or maybe the week after if the Christmas post slows it down. Anyway, we know it's premature, but we don't care. We're really pleased with it. I have a couple of newborn sleepsuits as well. They are so soft. I needed a pick-me-up. And a maternity jacket arrived in the post yesterday, again from eBay. It is my size and beautiful, like no-one has used it, and it was �1.99!!! Now I just need to get pregnant. Hopefully hopefully this cycle! If we conceive this cycle I will be due in September, which brings us back into a handful of months in the year that we particularly would love to have a baby. The months we love the most are April, May, June, September and October. So I hope we are successful this cycle or next. I really hope.
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