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2003-12-16 - 8.19pm��previous entry��next entry
Cycle Day 12 - high excitement!! (and photo)
I am HIGHLY excited!!!! Okay but I have tons of other news before I tell you why I'm highly excited, so I will say that first.
I am on Cycle Day 12 today, the day I thought I would ovulate, but I don't know if I have yet. I took an OPK yesterday and it was negative - well, there were 2 lines, but the result line was fainter than the other one, so that means negative (on OPKs anyway - not the same for pregnancy tests!). But today I took another one, expecting to see a nice big positive, and it was still negative. And the result line was much fainter than yesterday. So does this mean I have missed my LH spike? Or haven't I reached it yet? Ah well, who knows. I often get negative OPKs right up until the day I ovulate, then I get a positive and ovulate on the same day (they are supposed to give you 24-48 hours warning of ovulation).
I FINALLY got my copy of Toni Weschler's book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (or TCOYF, as I will be referring to it from now on!). I bought it from Amazon and it arrived this morning. It is HUGE!!! I mean it's gonna take me forever to read it all! But I made a pretty good start and read the first 5 chapters, and dipped into others over points of interest. It is a really good book, from what I can see. Allll the other sources of information I've ever looked at, all put together, haven't given me the kind of information that's in this book. It is already helping me feel more informed, and I felt pretty informed already.
It saddens me a bit because Toni Weschler says that if you have been trying to conceive randomly for a year, or for 4-6 cycles timing intercourse with peak fertile times, you should be seeing a doctor and looking through the options of various tests, etc. I feel sad because we are now in our seventh cycle TTC, timing it perfectly and everything. Oh well, except not really, because the last 2 cycles were not optimally timed, even though we did BD during my fertile times.
I am practically convincing myself it's either my cervical fluid, or Neil's sperm count, or an incompatibility between his sperm and my CF. All the other options I am feeling pretty confident about, since I am sure I'm ovulating (from charting), and I don't have any symptoms of things like PCOS or endometriosis, etc. I'm sure my thyroid is working right. So that leaves the above options. Or blockages somewhere. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this but sometimes I can't help it. I keep thinking what must be going wrong if we're timing things perfectly and still not conceiving?
BUT. And here's my great excitement!! I was reading the section about cervical fluid and it was encouraging because there are ways to maximise the chances of conception if you don't produce any of the most fertile, sperm-nourishing CF - egg white cervical mucus (EWCM) - which I don't, as you know. That was nice to read. But there were photos of different types of CF (not as gross as it sounds!) and I felt so sad seeing pictures of all that nice stretchy EWCM (honestly, you would not be feeling grossed out by this if you were well into TTC! It just feels like a normal thing to talk about!!). I don't get any. The stretch is important, and nothing I produce stretches anywhere :( But anyway. After I read that chapter I realised it was time to pee on my OPK stick and check my cervix like I normally do when I'm waiting to ovulate. So I went and did that, and guess what I found?!!!!
EWCM!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!!! Not a lot, but it's DEFINITELY EWCM!!! I checked the book because Neil and I BD'd this morning and I've heard you can confuse fertile CF with other stuff (sorry, such a graphic entry!). But nope, it's definitely EWCM, I double checked. In fact, I triple checked and then checked again an hour later, I am soooo excited about it!!! It has been at least 12 months since I last noticed any EWCM, and even then I'm not sure how long before that. I know I used to get it in my teens, but to be honest I never particularly bothered to take much notice till this year.
Ahhh I can't tell you how excited I got! I jumped up and down in the bathroom, and then I did a one-girl conga round the house, singing, "Egg white cervical flu-ID, egg white cervical flu-ID!!" till I got out of breath!! Crazy woman. But yaaaaaaaaay!! I feel soooo relieved, because I feel like a woman, I feel fertile and normal, and able to conceive. Even if we don't conceive, I still FEEL like I could. I hadn't even noticed how much I've been feeling like I'm not functioning like I should as a woman.
So I don't know where that came from. The only thing that's changed is that I am persevering with those hormone-balancing supplements this cycle. And I'll tell you something else, now that I think about it, my breasts have been normal-feeling today and yesterday. A couple of mild stabbing pains but that's it, and they aren't too tender at all. Neil says they are bigger, but I am quite happy about that! I am irritable but that's because I am feeling soooo tired out lately. But not hormone-moody. In fact I feel quite normal and wonderful in the hormone department at the moment, so maybe these supplements are really working? How weird that it was right after I read the chapter on CF though! Heh.
Well we have been taking TTC very seriously this cycle, as we planned, and since I first noticed more fertile CF on CD8, we have been BD'ing every 36 hours-ish. This is more consistent than other cycles so I hope it will be a good thing. I started taking my temperature 3 days ago, but so far they have all been flatline - 36.0 (celsius) which is the lowest my temps usually go. I'm sort of hoping for a rise tomorrow morning to confirm ovulation, but with the negative OPK today I'm not sure I'll get one. Which makes it pretty weird that I've had fertile signs since CD8 - usually I would ovulate by CD12 if that happened. Maybe that's the supplements too? Anyway, on the other hand I would quite like the chance to BD again while I have EWCM (yaaaaaaay, EWCM!!!) before I ovulate, to get the best chance of conception. I don't think I had EWCM this morning when we BD'd, but then I didn't check so I don't know.
Enough about bodily fluids already!! But I am so excited! :D
Anyway, I feel wonderful about this cycle, and hopeful that it will end in a pregnancy, since it's different from all the others in a positive way. But if we don't conceive then it's not so bad, because I feel like I have a new hope now that I might be producing EWCM again after all this time. If we don't conceive this time, then I am VERY optimistic for the following cycle. And after that we will get tests done, most notably a sperm analysis test.
So if I don't ovulate till tomorrow, my period will be due on New Year's Day, January 1st.
And I just have to say.... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Can you tell I'm excited?!! I know I sound crazy and over-the-top, but I wish I could convey to you how much of a thrill and a relief it is that my body is doing what everyone else's bodies are doing, something normal that it should have been doing every cycle. But at least now it's doing it, and that gives me a much better chance at getting pregnant that I've had all the previous cycles. Ooooh I am excited.
I phoned my mum up straight away and told her about my EWCM (!!), and she was really happy for me! :) I tell my mummy everything.
Welllll other news now I think.
I made a nappy last night, and I am really pleased with it, because it's one I've never tried before. It is an AIO (all-in-one) which means it's a complete nappy like a disposable, and doesn't need a waterproof wrap. I got some cute fabric at eBay, just enough to make one nappy, but it's normal cotton, not flannel or anything, which isn't an ideal fabric to use for making nappies as it doesn't feel nice when wet.
So I put it as the outer layer, and sewed a layer of waterproof PUL (laminated) fabric behind it as the waterproof layer, and a layer of microfleece to go next to the baby's skin. But if you put a cotton layer outside the waterproof one, you can get leakage as cotton absorbs the wetness through the needle holes. Soooo, I thought and thought about what to do, and I decided to bind the leg holes with water-resistant fleece! So I did. I cut a slit in the microfleece near the back, so that absorbant material can be inserted inside the nappy (so it's a pocket nappy, not really an AIO), and there you have it. It worked really well, and I hope it won't leak when I finally come to use it. I had fleece that matched the cotton print, and matching microfleece too (I have SO much fleece!), so it looks cute.
Ooh, ooh, the other thing I'm pleased with is that I cut the printed fabric in two halves, so that when you look at the back of the nappy the print is the right way up, and the same when you look at the front of the nappy. If I had cut it all in one piece it would have been upside-down at the back (confused yet?!). So I sewed the two pieces together and you can't see the seam because it's underneath the butt. I am really pleased with myself!
Anyway, here's a couple of photos - one from the front and one from the back. It doesn't have fasteners yet, because that's gonna be tricky and I have to figure out what type is best and how to apply it. So it's neatly closed with double sided tape (mmm, effective!) at the moment!
Next time I make one like that I will make the tabs smaller - they came out HUGE!!! And sew in the back elastic different. And shape the body of the nappy a bit better so that it's not so square in the crotch. This nappy should fit from about 6-12 months right up to potty training, so it should get plenty of wear! :) If it doesn't leak, of course.
Anyway, that's my news. I'll update again soon, I'm sure! I'm just walking on air at the moment.... "Cause I'm a womaaaan, double-u - oh - em - ay - ennnn!"
Heh.
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