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2009-08-02 - 11:42 p.m.��previous entry��next entry
3 weeks old already!
Soooo much to write, soooo little time! I can't believe I haven't written here since Benjamin was 12 days old, and now he's THREE WEEKS OLD! Yikes! Time is passing so quickly. Right now, it's Sunday so Neil is home. The boys are watching a movie while Neil prepares dinner (lovely husband!) and I am resting upstairs. Benjamin is sleeping in his Amby hammock, and when he wakes I breastfeed him, and then when he's asleep again I put him back in the hammock :) He does this a few times each day and the rest of the day he is AWAKE. His awake patches last 3 hours, and then he gets sleepy. I tried so many times to get him "back to sleep" after he woke up and nursed and then didn't want to go back to sleep, but I have realised that he is just alert and wakeful during those times and nothing I do can induce sleepiness for him at all! He has 2 or 3 of these 3-hour wakeful periods in 24 hours. It's BAD news if one of them falls during the night. Last night he started one at 4am, and I was so unbelievably thankful that it was Sunday and not a week day, because when he went off to sleep around 7am I was able to sleep too, and catch up a bit. If it had been a week day, I would have to get up at 7am to start the day with the boys! I'm really nervous about that happening one of these days during the week, which it seems like it might eventually. I am not sure how I'll function! But I'm sure I'll manage somehow.
I have so many photos to post! Benjamin is so precious. I love him so incredibly, it's amazing. I adore the newborn stage! :) It passes so fast though, because they grow and change so very quickly in the beginning. *sigh* One week from today, Benjamin will be a month old! The first month will be behind us, and I always find that a little bit sad when we reach One Month Old. I love snuggling a little flopsy newborn!
I am not sure how to write about everything I need to write about, with not much time to do so. The Amby is twitching and wiggling, hehe! Benjamin is stirring. But he often does and then continues sleeping.
So, I will try to vaguely bullet-point the news, otherwise I stand little chance of getting it all covered here! And I want to get on and post photos as well. I probably have too many of those for one entry but oh well.
I had to take Benjamin to A&E last week! Last week was the first week with Neil back at work, and my parents came over from France to stay with my grandparents and come over to help out with the boys every day. They came late morning to late afternoon each day, and they were such a big help! I'm so grateful! Tomorrow is the start of a new week, and it's the very first day I will be doing the "Mummy To Four Small Children" thing without any help. So, a tiny bit of me is nervous! But the rest of me is unusually confident. I am leaning on God so much more lately, and I know that is the only way to do it in any case! :) But, I think it could be hard, especially with a newborn and verrrrry difficult-ly behaved children (must find time for a seperate post on that in my main blog). But anyway, last week I did the mornings without help and it went fine for the most part. One morning I put Benjamin down on a mat on the floor in the living room and sat next to him to fold some laundry. Nathan was napping, and my parents were on their way over. Arthur had spent some time with Benjamin, just talking to him and stroking his head and being very affectionate with him. He does this any time he gets the opportunity, and also asks to hold him a lot. He's always telling me, "Aw, I love our little Benjamin!" :) Sweetie!
Anyway, Benjamin had actually fallen asleep on the mat! Arthur came across the room holding something in his hand to show me, and talking about it at the same time. He stepped RIGHT ON Benjamin, he was so busy talking and walking and not looking where he was stepping. I guess I didn't think to stop him as he came over because not for a millisecond did I ever think he would actually not remember his baby brother was on the floor next to me and stand on him! It was so awful. He stood all his weight on one foot right across Benjamin's little tummy (just under his ribcage) and even walked right onto the next foot before realising what he'd done! I sort of shrieked as he did it, totally involuntarily, and that scared him too, which I felt bad about afterwards. He just froze, and I froze, and then I recovered and grabbed my little one off the floor, and Arthur recovered and dove headfirst into the pile of laundry on the armchair to hide his face. I knew that meant he was horribly upset about it. Benjamin woke and cried hard immediately that Arthur stood on him. He was scrunching his body over and acting winded like he couldn't quite catch his breath to cry properly. I was so anxious, but he calmed down pretty quickly once I was holding him close and rocking him and shoooshing in his ear. After he calmed down a bit I put him to the breast to soothe him and he went back to sleep on the breast after a short while. Arthur meanwhile was completely distraught. He was sobbing and kept saying he felt bad. He couldn't look at Benjamin, poor love. I called him over and cuddled him in my free arm while I breastfed Benjamin in the other, and told him it was okay, that Benjamin was fine (which I was anxiously not sure about, but I told him so in a calm and cheerful voice anyway!), that I knew he would never want to hurt Benjamin and that I knew it was an accident. He still cried, and said he did not want me to tell Daddy, or anyone else. I told him Daddy would not be cross with him either.
Actually, Neil stepped on Benjamin when he was just over a week old! I breastfed him downstairs one evening sitting on the sofa, and then laid him asleep on the sofa next to me, while I did up my bra. Neil saw him there, but then after a bit he found an ant on his arm and leapt up to shake the ant out of the window, and stepped onto Benjamin's arm on the sofa! He only stopped because I did that same involuntary shriek and put my arm out to prevent him getting any closer. He felt so terrible, and said for some reason he simply forgot Benjamin was there. That's the same thing that Arthur said - he forgot he was there. Benjamin didn't even wake up when Neil stepped on his arm, but I got all hormonal and tearful and didn't want to take my eyes off him for the rest of the evening, even sleeping sweetly and flashing those cute little sleep smiles! *sigh* Anyway, so I told Arthur all about Daddy stepping on Benjamin because he forgot he was there, and how it was an accident and he'd felt so bad about it. So I told him Daddy would totally understand, and that made Arthur feel better. Poor little Benjamin though! Stepped on twice by family members in the first 3 weeks of his life! ;)
So he went to sleep and seemed fine, but I couldn't shake the anxiety over it, and eventually decided to phone NHS Direct for advice, just to be on the safe side. A nurse phoned me back and assessed him. He wouldn't respond to me stroking his face and seemed floppy, so the nurse was concerned and asked me to wake him up, even if I had to be quite vigorous to do so. He really didn't respond until I stripped him naked and kept moving him about, and even then he was very sleepy. I think he was just SLEEPY though, being in one of his good sleep cycles after a feed. He was a good colour, had no signs of swelling or bruising, and had not vomited or pooed since being stepped on. The nurse had me put pressure on his tummy in a certain way and he didn't respond to that so she felt he was okay, but given that he was only a couple of weeks old, she said I should take him to my GP today to be checked over. If the GP couldn't see me soon enough, I would need to take him to Accident and Emergency at the hospital. A bit after that, he semi-woke for another feed and then brought up a massive amount of milk (and clear fluid) a while afterwards. He is a very sicky baby as all mine seem to be, and brings up lots and lots of milk around the clock (fun, fun!), but this seemed a bit unusual even for him. I also realised that Neil had taken the minivan with the car seats and pushchairs, etc. inside, and so I had no method of getting Benjamin to a doctor or the hospital! So I phoned NHS Direct back and another nurse assessed him again, and said that I DID need to take him to A&E, however I could manage it. I had plans to put him in a sling and take him on the bus, but we couldn't find a bus route that would make that easy enough, and just as we were wondering what to do, Neil phoned from work to see how things were going. I told him what had happened, and he immediately arranged to come home from work so I could take the little one to the hospital, which was a relief!
So I took Benjamin in, and everything was fine - phew! I had to get a urine sample so that they could check it for blood, and I held him for 45 minutes, breastfeeding on and off, while he had no clothes from the waist down or a nappy on. I held a little pot with a funnel in front of his little bits the whole time, willing him to wee, hehe! Poor thing got such chilly legs :( But he did eventually wee, so much that the pot overflowed and filled the funnel! His wee was almost completely like water, clear and colourless! I was surprised by that. I guess he's WELL hydrated with all the breastmilk he's getting then! *I'm* struggling to stay hydrated enough, at the moment. But that urine sample certainly showed me why! ;) His sample was clear of blood or anything else dodgy, so that was good! While the doctor was talking to me (thankfully after he had a nappy on!) he did the most enorrrrmous poo which bypassed the nappy and went through his clothes (and mine, yuck!). So the doctor was able to check the poo as well, and it was blood-free. :)
He was really really really cross with doctors and nurses after that and just wanted to be left alone to sleep. He had been awake for hours on end and was tired of being poked and changed and too cold and too warm, etc. He cried too much for the doctor to feel his tummy properly, so I breastfed him to keep him calm while she checked him. Anyway I am so glad they said he seems fine and that they were not concerned, but that I'd done the right thing to bring him in. We were there for a few hours and I was SO glad of breastfeeding! It's so easy, and RIGHT THERE. I had no idea how long we would be at the hospital. If Benjamin got hungry or upset, I didn't have to worry about the time or where we were, I just immediately fed him or calmed him with the breast. So wonderful! :)
So that was a big event for little Benjamin! And poor Arthur! :(
Benjamin smiled at me for the first time yesterday - 3 weeks and 2 days old! Matthew was 3 weeks and 5 days old when he smiled for the first time, so I knew we were nearly at that magical time with Benjamin! I didn't quite expect it till nearer 4 weeks though, so it was such a precious and delightful surprise! I had had a long and exhausting night with him and was feeling a little frazzled and emotionally delicate, shall we say! So to hold him face to face with me and see him lock eyes with mine, get a sort of quizzical expression of recognition on his face and then his little mouth curve up into a little smile was EXACTLY what I needed right at that moment! :) He looks so beautiful when he smiles! His face looks very different. It suddenly lights up and fills with "personality" - it comes alive almost, as though that expression of personality was absent before the smile. Such a change, just with a little smile! I was on a high for the rest of the day :) He smiled at me again later in the day too! I can't wait till he's smiling BIG all the time at us - I know the boys will love it too! Arthur was so excited when I told him that Benjamin had smiled for the first time, and has spent much of today trying to get him to smile at him (he hasn't yet!).
Let's see, what else? Benjamin has had another growth spurt - the 3-week one, I guess. He nursed like crazy much of last week, so he was 2.5 weeks old when it started. He has calmed down somewhat, but he still pretty much nurses frequently around the clock all the time, like a sort of permanent growth spurt, haha! He does crank it up a notch when it's a REAL growth spurt though, but it's not a HUGE change in frequency since he's already going at it all the time anyway. He has changed in size these last few days. His hairline is starting to recede, as in, his head is starting to really grow and leave his little newborn hair behind! Also his face is filling out more, and he feels a lot heavier in my arms suddenly. He is also LONG, lately. He has fully outgrown all the newborn (up to 10lb) clothing and is fitting 0-3 month clothing well. Some of the 0-3 vests or sleepsuits are even a little snug on the torso length! A lady at the hospital commented on how he looked long for a 2-week-old, too.
Benjamin is my first baby to have newborn acne :( He has a ton of red pimply spots over his chest and round his neck, and they are starting to appear on his face and forehead now as well. He also has quite an extensive birth mark on his face (the stork mark over his nose, which extends into his eyelid on one side, through his nostrils (and out the other side!) and a little below his bottom lip!), and he has scratched his face with long fingernails a couple of times, so his poor little face looks a bit blotchy and spotty at the moment! He has also developed a birth mark on his back that wasn't there at his newborn check. I asked at the hospital if it was a birth mark, just to be sure. It's a circle made up of bright red dots and splotches, maybe just over a centimetre in diameter. The doctor reassured me that it was a birth mark, and that those are not present at birth, but develop shortly afterwards. They get more bright and obvious until about 6 months and then fade somewhat after that, but never completely go. His stork mark and associated bits should all fade almost to nothing, but may take a couple of years. I have stork marks too, and they still show up occasionally if I have a fever, get overheated, or lose my temper! Otherwise you can't see them, so I knew those marks on Benjamin would go. He also has a strawberry mark on the back of his neck at his hairline, about an inch long and wide. What a birth-mark-y boy! :)
I'm not sure about his eye colour now. His eyes are getting lighter, as they do at this age, but they're looking very much grey with maybe a leaning towards blue. Both Matthew and Nathan had BLUE eyes as newborns, albeit very dark, and they lightened up to blue very clearly. Matthew's eyes didn't go grey till 17 months. Arthur's eyes were dark grey at birth, and lightened up to a soft mid-grey. I was surprised to find (thank you Diary!) that they stayed that way till he was 4 months old, when suddenly he developed a couple of "splotches" of brown on top of the grey. When Matthew was born, Arthur was 19 months old, and his eyes were mostly brown covering the grey, with just a small area of grey still remaining. He still has a tiny little grey part of one iris, but otherwise brown eyes. I didn't realise it took a while for them to change from grey to brown, so maybe Benjamin's eyes WILL still go brown. He has the grey eyes to start with, after all. But everyone else is saying they think his eyes will go blue, since they're lightening up and NOT looking brown yet. Time will tell, I guess!
Okay, photos! It's nearly 11pm and I need to get some sleep for my Very First Day as a stay-at-home-mummy of 4 little boy persons under the age of 5! I'm more nervous than I was earlier, when I started this entry. I am going to pray and then go to bed! I really need God's help for tomorrow.
Teeny little hand in mine! *swoon*
Little hand again...
Tiny feeties! :)
First time on his new activity play mat, at 10 days old:
Snoozing (somewhat posed by Mummy, haha!) at 11 days old:
This was taken at 2 weeks and 3 days old - a rare photo with me in it (not that it's particularly flattering, as I hadn't yet brushed my hair or got dressed for the day or anything!) - Neil really doesn't take many photos now that our only working camera is my big scary one!
Benjamin not being appreciative of Arthur's love! He was tired of being held here:
Here are a few photos of Benjamin waking up from a little snooze at 2 weeks and 5 days old - these are for Shannon! Thanks for the cute little American vests, Shannon! :)
Biiiig waking-up stretch...
Followed by immediate rooting - "There must be a breast here somewhere..."! ;)
Big yawn!
I have more! But I have to go. Oh, I almost forgot! I had an appointment on Thursday at the Registry Office to register Benjamin's birth! I love those occasions! :) I took Benjamin with me, just carried him in (from the car) in my arms, and nursed him during the appointment, and he was soooo beautifully behaved! Not that babies "behave" or "don't behave", you know, but anyway! He was so quiet and alert, or else just feeding :) Nathan napped - I put him to bed right before I left, and he woke within 5 minutes of getting home, so that was a blessing! He wasn't too happy with my parents until the last day they were here, so it worked out well that he didn't know I was gone. My parents watched the older two boys while I was gone. It's lovely to say that he was born at home, and give my address for the place of his birth! I remember being excited about that with Matthew when I registered his birth! :) So now he is official, on record! Benjamin Isaac, son number 4! Yay! :) I'm so blessed!!!
I finally got the first photos of all four boys together this afternoon, and some of them came out well, so I will probably post those on my main blog soon, when I get chance. I'm really pleased to have photos of all my little boys together at last!! :) Will update here again soon, when I can! MUST get my birth story written soon too. I have actually started it, but haven't got very far yet!
Also, thank you for the comments last entry! xx
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