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2004-04-03 - 2.51pm��previous entry��next entry
9 weeks, 1 day - symptoms galore!
Nine weeks, nine weeks, nine weeks!!! Phew! Every week is another measure of relief!! I am trying to hold fast to God and believe that things are going to be okay with this pregnancy but I still seem to be scared of losing my baby. Today in my November due dates forum a lady posted that she just got back from the hospital after miscarrying :( She was due 2 days before me, so I am kind of scared. It's still happening, even at 9 weeks, 10 weeks, 11 weeks.... How I wish these next few weeks would zip by so that I can be past it all and relax.
I bought a second-hand (as new) doppler yesterday, complete with big tube of gel. I know it's not necessary and it's not exactly inexpensive, but I know if I can find my baby's heartbeat I will find it so reassuring until I see the midwife (if I EVER do!!! I STILL haven't got an appointment!). And before the scan too. I just want some hard evidence that my baby is doing fine, like every day. At the moment anyway. Well the doppler wasn't cheap but it has been kept in excellent condition by the lady who bought it new, and she sold it to me for about �50-�100 cheaper than if I were to buy one new, which is a serious bargain. Also I looked up the cost of renting a doppler and it's �28.99 a month which is a lot. Okay I bought this doppler for �100 including postage. It's a lot to spend but I know I can sell it for not much less when I am finished with it. And that will work out way cheaper than if I'd rented one even for one month. So yeah. I just want some reassurance.
Of course, constant reassurance is coming in the form of feeling really sick all the time at the moment, so I should be happy! I just feel nervous anyway, I know it's silly. I have started to love my baby far too much to bear the idea of miscarriage, the stakes are too high, and so I can't help but be nervous. People seem to be having miscarriages all around me, everywhere I look or read. It's not surprising it's a nerve-wracking time for me.
Well I feel really sick today, and I'm eating, but yuck it's not very nice. Last night I felt too sick for anything. I guess my HCG levels are at their peak now so that's to be expected. They should start levelling off around 10 weeks.
Yesterday I could not do my jeans up at ALL. I could get the zip halfway up, but that's it. I used a rubber band to make the button meet the buttonhole, and wore a longish shirt to cover it. I am mostly just bloated I think, there's no baby stuff in the tummy yet, but I guess it would not be so bloaty if there wasn't a baby pushing up from my pelvis! So it's exciting! I will take another belly pic at 10 weeks. I look more pregnant than I am at the moment, because of my bowel being all bloated and gassy. Nice.
I am now filling out maternity bras that are 2 cup sizes bigger than my pre-pregnancy bras!!!! Wow! Not many majorly visible breast changes yet, except I think the veins are more visible on them now. They are a lot bigger, and a completely different shape to before I was pregnant. Just full. I really like this. I actually look like I fill out my tops these days, and that is nice! :) Plus Neil seems to like these changes a lot! I haven't had much discomfort in them lately, until a couple of nights ago when they became a lot more tender again. We went to the supermarket yesterday evening and all of a sudden in the fruit aisle, my nipples started stabbing at me like crazy!!! It was soooo painful. Don't know why. But I guess they are still making a lot of changes.
I am still having the weirdest dreams. Not particularly bad ones though, which is good! I wake a lot in the night and find it hard to get comfy with my tummy, but only because it is so horribly gassy and crampy. It usually settles down by the morning. I have noticed lately that the morning is my BEST time of day. I wake feeling the least queasy, and from breakfast onwards it gets worse. The evening has been by FAR the worst for nausea and bloating for the last 4 or 5 days. Yuck. But I don't mind it that way round. I'd rather have evening sickness than morning, because at least I can escape from it by falling asleep (at bedtime) and I wake up feeling good which is WAY better than waking up feeling dreadful. Plus this way I can eat from the beginning of the day and that is good.
I currently need to eat 2 breakfasts, one when I wake up, usually a couple of slices of toast and marmite and some milk, and then an hour or so later I need the same meal again. Then I usually feel grim around midday and eat lunch (good old ready-meals!) around 2 or even 3pm. I snack on chocolate milk or ice-cream or crisps or whatever during the afternoon, every hour or so, and then I am usually gasping for another meal by the time Neil gets in from work at 6pm. So we usually eat between 6 and 7.30pm (hours earlier than before I was pregnant!) and then I feel rotten for the rest of the evening. I sometimes eat dessert mid-evening if I feel up to it.
But anyway I am getting plenty of food as you can see! I am at my normal pre-pregnancy weight now, so I have put on the 11lbs that I lost a couple of weeks ago. This is good! :)
Another new thing is that I notice I feel soooo hot a lot of the time. My face gets flushed when I feel like this, and I can't cool down. Neil says I radiate heat. It's bad during the night and I'm forever flinging covers off and then pulling them back on, because it's not that it's hot in the house, I'M just hot. My pregnancy book says that by now I have increased my blood volume by almost 40%!!! Apparantly that causes the feeling of dilated veins and heat everywhere. So I'm glad it's normal, but I can't imagine enjoying the summer weather when it comes! I am beginning to realise I need some SERIOUS cool summer maternity clothes. I can't believe I own three maternity jumpers! But then again, maybe I will be glad of those in October.
I am kind of crampy today and yesterday which unnerves me. It's not exactly like I have cramps, but I feel crampy in my pelvis. I have been having the odd shooting ligament pain in my lower back and tummy over the last day or two. Maybe my womb is having a growth spurt. My mum is absolutely convinced I am having a girl. I am mirroring her during her pregnancy with me. For my mum, her pregnancies with me and my brother were markedly different, in terms of how she carried, how big the bump was, how much weight she gained and where it was distributed, etc. She was an absolute classic for all the old wives' tales about having a boy or a girl. She was spot on for all of them. We are sooooo alike, physically. People say we are like photocopies, and we have always had the same measurements and physical mannerisms and everything. We have the same voice. Even family struggle to tell us apart on the phone. So I think it's quite likely that my experiences will be similar to hers, with pregnancy that is. I hope. Anyway this is exactly how Mummy was at this stage when she was carrying me. She was very different with my brother. So yet another thing that points to me having a girl. I am sure I'm having a girl, it's not just a hunch.
Well anyway I think that is all my news for today. I will write again soon though! :)
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