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2008-07-18 - 11.15pm��previous entry��next entry
Umm...?!
Okay so my temperature this morning went UP!! Right up as well! I also have almost completely lost the bad cramping I've been having for the past 3 days. I have had one or two short-lived episodes of periody cramps through the whole of the day, and otherwise have felt exactly like I have no period coming (I feel very neutral). Except that I am pretty often aware of "something" low down in the pit of my abdomen. Just a sensation, but one that's ever so familiar to me. I just feel heavy and FULL and warm there. Tonight when I was lying on my tummy at the boys' bedtime, I even felt a faint sensation that I had a "ball-like" fullness which was giving me a slightly pressurey sensation when I lay like that. For me, that has always meant pregnancy. Also, I have had some weird twinges here and there low down, and last night a "flash" right through my groin from somewhere within my pelvis. When I was about to put the boys to bed tonight, my tailbone felt suddenly tender and bruised-like. It went away after a few moments but came back again a bit later for a moment. Those things are also highly suspicious as pregnancy symptoms for me.
I know I must be crazy - I'm only 7DPO. But hello?! I'm SEVEN days past ovulation with no sign of my period, and a high temp! This cycle is supposed to be a 4-day luteal phase! I didn't have a luteal phase longer than 7 days until about 9 months postpartum with the other boys. If I get my period tomorrow I will have a 7 day luteal phase, which is a bit unprecedented for me!
Here's the line you all are probably very familiar with by now, haha!...
I really feel like I am pregnant. I feel pretty much exactly like I did during my luteal phase with Nathan, except that my temps are not flat like they were then - they are soaring! And I have not broken any crockery yet, haha! ;) Honestly girls, I know it's early, but I really feel pregnant. It still feels so recent since I last WAS that the feeling is even more familiar to me this time.
I'm SURE there's the chance that I'll get egg on my face (another line you'll be familiar with! ;) ) and look pretty daft in a couple of days when my period shows up after all. But still. I just FEEL it.
What else is there to note?
I feel kind of sicky today, just ever so mildly. Not remotely like morning sickness, but completely like the mild queasiness that I have had in my 2-week-wait with ALL my previous pregnancies (not sure about the chemical pregnancies though... Definitely with all 3 of my previous babies). Not crazy about food, but packing it away when I eat anyway!
I have really been wanting homemade chocolate biscuit cakes (that's just my family's name for what is probably called "Tiffin Cake" or maybe "refridgerator cake"), enough to distract me most evenings and sometimes during the day. I have all the ingredients, but just haven't got round to making them!
I am having very little breast trouble - some, but very mild. My breasts are slightly tender, and it's a bit sore to nurse. Usually it's worse for both of those when I'm getting a period.
I want to talk age gaps and due dates and such, but then it feels ridiculous to do so when I still might get my period at any time! I mean, it's surely still the most likely scenario? But I really don't feel like my period is coming. It still could be. But I don't feel it.
I am kind of weepy and irritable today - oh, at this stage with Nathan I had HORRIBLE moods! I was anxious about it because I thought I would be that horrible to my loved ones for like the WHOLE pregnancy or something, lol! I wasn't that way with Arthur or Matthew. Anyway, I am thankfully not feeling like that at all, but I notice that I am just a little more irritable than normal, and a bit weepy at children's TV (always a good sign of pregnancy for me, hehe!). Everything is so mild or slight, and yet THERE. Or else I'm otherwise feeling completely neutral. The only thing I'm absolutely NOT feeling is like my period is going to turn up any time soon.
I am so impatient for tomorrow morning so I can temp! I can't imagine what it will be! It could be a big ole drop for my period to arrive (but still, I will be glad to have a 7-day luteal phase first time!), or... I just don't know what to think. I'm still SO surprised about this morning's temp spike after the dip at 5DPO.
This morning I came downstairs and put my temp on the chart, and then I said to Neil that I thought I should buy some pregnancy tests. I told him my temp had gone up (he already knew about the dip a couple of days ago - he's pretty well versed by now, on what makes a chart look pregnant and what does not, hehe!). I ordered 5 cheapy pregnancy tests (the same that I have always used) on the internet this morning. They are coming first class and I got an email to say they'd been dispatched today, so hopefully I might even get them tomorrow! I hope so, otherwise I will have to wait to get them on MONDAY, and that would be.... 10DPO, which seems too far away! I know it's ridiculously early to test, but I would consider it tomorrow if I had a test. My chart looks good so far, and I have had a positive at 10DPO before. If I had a negative tomorrow, I would test again the next day (if my temp remained high and still no period). And again till either I get my period or a positive test. That's why I ordered 5! :) I figure they'll be handy to have even if my period arrives tomorrow. I have a feeling I'll need them in the months to come! The post won't arrive early enough for first-morning-urine though, so I wouldn't test tomorrow anyway.
This evening Neil and I prayed about the possibility that there's a little tiny new person starting to develop and implant inside me. I kind of felt scared a bit when we were discussing it, because HOW OVERWHELMING?!! Four kids under 5, and the youngest 3 kids under 3! Anyway, we prayed that God's will would be done, and for God to cover everything, and bless and equip us. Also to bless any potential pregnancy that is starting, and if it is not a viable one, to be merciful to me and allow it to come to a natural end very early. I get increasingly anxious about miscarriage with every pregnancy, for some reason. Also I have such a horrid history of bleeding during pregnancy, and my last one was so scary with a ton of torrential bleeding and cramping. Thank God for his mercy - Nathan is here and cute as heck, and healthy :) Thank you Lord!
After we prayed (and felt much better!), Neil went in the kitchen to get a drink and was talking to me as he walked back into the living room. I had my chart on the laptop and it was facing the kitchen door. He stopped mid-sentence, and stood still staring at the chart, saying, "Whooooaaa! That's.... that's.... You're pregnant!" He has seen my charts before, these last few years :)
I have a TON more swirling round my head, but it is probably unwise to ramble further since the situation should really mean that I can't possibly be pregnant, and will get my period any moment. I have been feeling kind of like I have to run and check my underwear a lot of times today, but there's absolutely nothing there. Bizarre.
Okay, that's it. I am exhausted today. The boys have horrible chesty coughs (except Nathan thus far) and I had a doctor's appt and blood taken today for a general check (to do with lumps - mentioned in my other diary). I just feel BEAT. I'm going to bed now, and I'll chart my temp as soon as I am able tomorrow, and write another entry later on.
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