Journal
Sign guestbook
Arthur's Mummy's Diary
Matthew's Belly Gallery
Nathan's Belly Gallery
Benjamin's Belly Gallery
My Fertility Friend Chart
2007-04-01 - 11.12pm��previous entry��next entry
7DPO - still going!
Well, my temp went UP this morning, not down! I am 7DPO. By this time last cycle, my period had arrived already. I felt crampy and queasy this morning when I woke, and then I had that encouraging temp so I got tooooo over-excited and peed on a stick. *sigh* Of course, it was negative! Why oh why didn't I give those to Neil to lock away, and then put the key somewhere that I couldn't reach or something?! They were not cheap tests! Tsk.
But anyway. It has been another crazy day of wondering. I have had a lot of queasiness today, though not quite as horrible as yesterday's. I have less trapped wind today though, and I know that was making me feel sick a lot yesterday afternoon. I AM still bloated and gassy, etc. This evening I have had heartburn bad enough to take something for it, and that never happens to me - except that time a few months ago when I already had other suspicions of a possible stomach ulcer. But since that got sorted out, I haven't had any heartburn. I so rarely have it. Tonight I reeeeally have it. I took a Rennie and I still have it. It's really bothersome.
I am not peeing more frequently. That's the one thing I noticed that WASN'T happening when I thought maybe it should be, on my first chemical pregnancy. I think I was peeing more this early on my second chemical pregnancy, and with the boys. Well, maybe not this early with Arthur, but he hadn't implanted quite yet anyway. Oh but I don't seem to have charted it with Matthew early on, and I can't find reference to peeing more (or not) in my pregnancy diary with him either. So I don't know.
I have had a fairly non-crampy afternoon, just like yesterday. I'm more crampy again this evening. This reminds me very much of Matthew's pregnancy in the early stages. The evenings sat at the computer used to be muchly interrupted by me dashing back and forth to the toilet to see if the cramping meant that my period was here! The crampiness does feel sort of different to premenstrual cramping, to me. I don't know how to describe exactly why though.
After I tested negative, over the next couple of hours I started to feel more like it was just a matter of time before my period shows up. I don't know why. Maybe it was the reality check of SEEING a negative test? I have wondered if my skin isn't quite so soft today. It is still soft, but I wonder if it's not quite so much. Neil says it still is though. Earlier this evening I was reading old entries here and found this:
"Also today my skin doesn�t feel so soft to me. Neil says it still is, but I don�t think it is as much."
That was written the DAY before my period showed on my last chemical pregnancy, the cycle before Matthew was conceived. So, hmmm. Maybe I will get my period tomorrow? Or tonight, for that matter. If my period IS coming, I just hope hope hope that it will wait till tomorrow! I want my LP to at least have lengthened since last time, and tomorrow will make it one day longer than last cycle. If I DO get my period, I am not sure what to make of this cycle. I am not sure what to think! I feel pretty strongly that my body is trying to be pregnant, and that there must be an embryo having a go at implanting in my uterus. I don't think it's wishful thinking or over-excitement. I think my chart is a fairly good indicator of this, and also alll these crazy symptoms, many of which are definitely NOT things that I would ever get as a pre-menstrual symptom. So I think I would say I HAD conceived this cycle. I just wish I could have proof of that with a test. It makes it easier to believe myself later on, if I have proof like the other times. Otherwise I can forget the finer details and start to think I was just crazy or hoping too much, etc.
I have backache today in my lower back. I have had a tiny bit of a bruisey type of discomfort over my pubic bone on my RIGHT side today, just little flashes of it on and off during the day and evening. I had the same with the boys at around this stage, but on the left side both times. I figured it had something to do with beans burrowing down as they implanted further, or something. So it's interesting that I'm feeling a touch of that kind of sensation again this time.
You know, I really MIGHT be pregnant, the kind of "pregnant" that would go on to be a full-term, normal, healthy pregnancy. But even so, my short luteal phase might still cut it off before it gets quite long enough to become established. So even with these symptoms so far, I am thinking my short LP might still prevent it from happening. I don't actually know if that's how it works. I wish I DID! I wish I had the medical know-how, about exactly what a short LP can do at exactly WHICH stages of implantation, and at which stages of implantation the length of one's luteal phase becomes irrelevant because the bean is established enough. And also, which of those stages of implantation give rise to the symptoms I'm experiencing, and are those stages ones which are "safe", no matter your normal luteal phase length?! It's driving me crazy. So, with my cramping and queasiness, say - if those specific symptoms are due to actual pregnancy as a result of a certain stage of implantation having been achieved, is that certain stage one that is well-established enough so that my luteal phase being short or long can have no bearing on the pregnancy outcome any longer? If I just knew, then I'd already be more convinced of the expected outcome and not let my hopes and expectations go up and down like a very emotional yo-yo.
Urgh!
Well, I'm sure there's more. I will check my chart notes, which I jot down there in bits and pieces throughout the day (usually with Matthew wriggling in my non-typing arm!). Maybe those will remind me of things I am forgetting. I guess I feel a bit deflated because I have started to feel differently since testing negative, like my period will just SHOW, because that's how my luteal phase works right now, pregnant or not. It will just show. I feel a little less queasy and I'm not sure about my skin (though right at this moment, it suddenly feels extremely pregnantly soft again - yes, I know I am a nutso obsessive woman!). So I no longer know what to expect. By yesterday evening I was pretty convinced of being pregnant and just hoped that I'd got far enough with implantation to defy my short luteal phase! Which, maybe I have. Because I think I HAVE conceived. But I don't know what to expect now.
Okay I just checked my chart notes for Matthew's pregnancy and I DIDN'T chart frequent peeing until 17DPO! And again the next day. Not before! So that's reassuring! :) I do have a sort of burns-when-I-pee sensation behind my pubic bone these days (maybe the last 2 days as well as today). I don't think I have a bladder infection at all. It feels like an irritated bladder, but my gut feeling (I have a LOT of experience over the years with irritated bladders - both the pregnancy-induced types and the UTI-induced ones!) is that it isn't a UTI. So that is... interesting? I don't know! Heartburn also seemed to be a pregnancy symptom with Matthew, as I had nothing on my chart before 9DPO and then pretty much every day till I stopped charting at 18DPO.
Okay, chart notes today, let's see...
Well, I've written: "Crampy right away today, feels like a burny ball pressing in my uterus. Bit of a burny pee feeling with it. Feel queasy and crampy."
OH! I can't believe I forgot a big symptom! Thank goodness I have those notes! :) I'd have remembered it later, of course, but I'm glad to be reminded while I'm writing this entry.
It HURTS to nurse. At times today, it has felt almost unbearable to nurse, it has been that painful. The pain feels sharp and white hot, and very focused, like that of a blister on the nipple or something. Ow. I even kept on checking throughout the day, to see if there were any obvious injuries to them! But they looked normal to me. It feels like the boys are BITING me, when they're not. I figured out a so-so analogy so that maybe you can get the gist of it: Find that little peaked bit of flesh on the inside of your cheek, the one near the corner of your mouth on the inside. Now bite it firmly but not agonisingly, with your canine teeth. Just rest those teeth in place on that little peak of flesh. It's not comfortable, is it? Continue holding for a couple of minutes, until the poor peaky bit starts to feel a sort of pain that is a combination of stinging, searing, and just something that goes in waves up and down your cheek. No, no! Don't let go! Continue the pressure for the length of a nursing session (which is as long as a piece of string). There it is, that is how my nipples (especially my left one) have felt today when breastfeeding. And I have nursed approximately 50 children today, or so it feels!! Arthur woke with a streaming cold this morning after a very restless night, and has nursed a lot. Matthew is cranky and is probably getting said cold, so has nursed a bit more than usual too. Ah-hoo-howww! ("Ow" said sort of like Jim Carrey might say it - where did that come from?!) This afternoon the nipple pain didn't go away after I stopped breastfeeding one of the boys, and it was just completely distracting for about 3 hours! I spent the whole time randomly clutching at my left breast, hehe! But it's a lot better this evening, so long as I'm not breastfeeding.
Well. The absolutely ONLY way my nipples are feeling like that is 100% definitely if I am pregnant. So that makes me feel VERY confident that I am, at least thus far. I remember the feeling well from the very early stages of Matthew's pregnancy while I was nursing Arthur, and for many months to come after that! I have also started to get tender breasts in general. I haven't really been getting that with periods, although it used to be a major symptom of PMS before I had kids, so I can't rule it out.
So I guess there is plenty to still be confident about after all! But I just DON'T KNOW on the luteal phase thing. I STILL think that maybe tomorrow morning I'll see that temp drop and get my period. I am starting to get nervous-excited about temping each morning, with butterflies in my stomach, like I can hardly bear to look at the thermometer and see what it says! The last two mornings I have been pretty confident though, because I just felt SO hot when I woke up. I knew I didn't have a temp drop, or much of one, even before I'd temped.
I am (stupidly?) wondering about testing again tomorrow with my remaining NOT CHEAP test. *sigh* IF my temperature is still up, that is. If it isn't, I think I'll wait and see. If it's right down, I won't bother at all, and will be expecting my period at any time. I am hoping my cheapy internet tests will arrive in the post the next morning, so I'll have sticks to pee on again if I get to that day without my period still! I can't BELIEVE I will be 8DPO tomorrow! I never thought I'd get that far. I especially can't imagine getting to 9DPO. But maybe I'll get to neither, since I haven't checked my underwear in a while and could have started my period for all I know!
Okay, I can sense that I'm about to start the crazy lady ramblings for the long haul, so I think I'll stop now! It's late enough anyway, and if my little ones are getting poorly I may not get much sleep tonight. Will definitely update tomorrow though! Thanks for the continued support and excitement for me! :)
Recent entries.....
Babies 7 and 8! :) - 2016-01-10
Babies 6 and 7! - 2013-02-17
Baby #5 !! - 2010-04-03
Nearly 3 months postpartum! - 2009-10-05
6 weeks old already! - 2009-08-25