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2005-10-11 - 10.41pm��previous entry��next entry
5 weeks, 6 days pregnant - morning sickness??
Nearly six weeks pregnant! Boy will I be glad to be out of the 5th week! I passed 5w5d without a repeat of the awful bleed I had last time. And today I am the same gestation that I was with Arthur when I suddenly started having overwhelming nausea all the time.
Well today I feel sick. I have been feeling sick for a while, but pretty mildly. More like queasiness or mild motion sickness, on and off throughout the day and night, particularly when I'm hungry (or rather, needing to eat - I don't really feel like eating much at the moment!). The whole sensation has been increasing soooo gently over maybe the last week, and today I do feel pretty gross a lot of the time. Tonight we had spaghetti bolognese, which is both tomatoey and garlicky, both things that make me feel kind of yeurghy at the moment. I felt sick before I ate, but I got soooo nauseated after just two mouthfuls. I thought I would not manage to get it down so I stopped, but in the end I persevered and managed to eat most of it. I just took my time. I felt nauseous throughout though, and still feel sick now. Bleurgh.
BUT!! If this is as bad as it gets, I will be overjoyed!! It was so so so awful with Arthur. I am just hoping and praying that it won't be that bad again. I am really trying hard to eat whether I feel sick or not, so as to manage the nausea better and stop it getting out of hand. It is indescribably worse when you stop eating. Yeurgh.
So I am managing fine so far. I don't like feeling sick, but I am happy that I can still eat and act normally and not feel like I might throw up. I hope that doesn't happen!
My Sprout has upper limb buds!!!! By tomorrow, he/she will have lower limb buds too! Clever Sprout! Sprout also has around THIRTY pairs of somites now, a brain that is differentiating into forebrain, midbrain, and hindbrain (how amazing is that, at such an early stage?!), and visible ear dents.
Sprout's eyes already have identifiable parts, such as the retina, the future pigment of the retina and the optic stalk. Amazing. Sprout has a primitive mouth, complete with tongue! The thyroid is developing and the lymphatic system is beginning to form. Sprout's heart has septa and the beginnings of valves! Lung buds are forming and the blood circulation is well established. The umbilical cord is finally getting established with a major blood vessel running through it, to facilitate exchange of blood between me and Sprout.
I just think it is all soooo amazing and mind-boggling, to think that such a tiny being who has only existed for a matter of weeks inside me, has all those important body parts already!! Or at least the beginnings of them.
Today, Sprout measures 3mm, and will grow one mm per day from now on! That is pretty major growth, considering he/she is only 3mm so far! His/her heart rate is probably somewhere around 117bpm.
Neil has just gone to bed (I need to hurry up with this so I can get some sleep too!) and before he went, for the first time he laid his hand on my tummy when he said goodnight to me, and said goodnight to Sprout too! :) I think it is getting more real to us, especially now that I am really starting to feel pregnant, and he knows it because I have been saying all day how I feel sick! I must try not to complain! Pregnancy is such a blessing! I am not really complaining so far, just mentioning it because it is hard to figure out food to eat when I feel sick.
BUT, having said all of this, I have still been a little worried about some tiny details. I had some EWCM the other day which was slightly bloodstained - brown though, not red. And very light staining here and there. I still have one-sided crampy pain, and it's worrying me a little, so I went back to my doctor this afternoon. She felt my tummy where it hurts and said she thinks it is probably related to constipation, which is what happened last time, and what I thought it would be. But I was so nervous about any possibility of an ectopic pregnancy that I wanted to get that reassurance that it wasn't that. So I feel better. But the spotting still plays on my mind. I talked it through with the doctor and told her I DO feel confident because I know it can be normal to have spotting, and it's very light, and I now feel sick. But I do have that worry in there anyway, somehow. I know that's normal too though.
She was so nice :) She is going to phone the early pregnancy unit tomorrow morning and ask them if they would see me for an early scan to put my mind completely at rest. They may say no, when she tells them my current history. I think she will tell them I had a previous threatened miscarriage though. Anyway then she will phone me and let me know what they said. If they say yes, I may have a scan tomorrow, depending on if they have a slot free. Or a date for one very soon. Or no scan at all, if they think I will be wasting their time and resources.
I sort of feel a bit bad for even mentioning it because I know deep down I am just being silly. Everything is probably fine, and I have no major symptoms of a problem, not like last time. Last time I deserved the resources of the EPU and this time I wonder if I'm undeserving, and thus if it's bad of me? If I put my mind to it, I know I can probably shove the spotting and stuff to the back of my mind and not be too worried by it, until a few more weeks roll by and I get to hear the heartbeat and stuff. But the anxiety does keep popping up. Especially since now the first miscarriages are happening on my due date forums :( Some of them started with spotting, and I had already replied reassuringly to the ladies, saying that I had spotting too and it's quite common and probably nothing to worry about. Then they miscarried :( So yeah, that gets my brain whirring in less than productive ways.
So in a way, if they say yes, I can have a scan, I will be relieved. I will get to be 100% reassured that I really do have a baby in there, that it's in the right place, and that it's growing as it should be. I know that doesn't eliminate my risk of miscarriage completely, but it's a good start. I am already nervous that I will get the shock of my life and find that it's not a viable pregnancy though. I know I will be nervous at the EPU waiting to see if everything is okay, if we DO get an appt. I sort of hope we do. But I feel sort of guilty if I do. Like I am not eligible to be there worrying. Urgh.
Anyway. My first scan with Arthur was exactly today's gestation, but he was measuring 3 days behind (so, 5w3d) and we couldn't see him yet. His ultrasound pictures are in his gallery on the left there. If I get a scan tomorrow, Sprout's picture could be very similar. If Sprout is measuring to my dates though, it may be an image of the baby that is somewhere between the first of Arthur's ultrasound pictures and the second one - at 7 weeks exactly, where he measured 6w4d. He WASN'T 6w4d, by the way. I don't know why he measured 3 days behind both times. He was spot on at 13 weeks, and I was 100% sure of the day he was conceived. So maybe Sprout will measure 3 days behind too? I know Jemma's bean measured 3 days behind at her early scan too, so maybe....
Anyway. I will update on that tomorrow, and let you know what happens.
My breasts are really "bruisey" sore today - ow. It is still not hurting me to nurse Arthur, thank goodness! But it hurts like diddly when he pushes himself to standing with his FISTS on one of them when he's finished nursing!! Also I am noticing my abdomen feels very tender when his knees go thumping into it as he climbs over me! Today I noticed I felt a big wave of nausea when I had any part of him pressing into my stomach. Ugh. I am going to have to gently encourage him not to trample on Mummy! I usually let him climb on me all he wants if he's heading somewhere and I'm in the way, or if he's changing position while nursing or when he's finished nursing. This will have to change!
He is still waking twice each night to nurse, but sleeping 4-5 hours each stretch, which is way better than before we started trying to night wean when I found out I was pregnant. He pretty much nurses around midnight and 4-5am. I am dealing with that okay at the moment. I was super yawny and queasy at the 4.30am one last night though. It would be so nice to get more sleep now that my body is doing so much. But in some ways I am nervous about lulling my body into a false sense of security (!) with a full night's sleep, only to shock it terribly when the new baby arrives, just as it has adjusted to long stretches of sleep again! I feel like right now I would cope MUCH better with a newborn's waking schedule than if I was used to sleeping all night. So maybe it would end up being better for me to keep the night wakings. I have not had one SINGLE night of full sleep since my pregnancy with Arthur. And those weren't too many because of all the usual pregnancy wakings - peeing in the night, sore hips, vivid dreams, etc! So my body is absolutely engrained in having to wake in the night. I know it would be a hard blow to get it used to long sleeps again and then break that up all over again.
Anyway, I need to stop waffling and post this! My bed is calling me. I need a drink of water. And I have heartburn. But I love that, because it's very pregnant of me! Yay for heartburn! :)
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