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2009-01-19 - 8:55 p.m.��previous entry��next entry
15 weeks, 5 days - midwife appointment and other things!
Maltesers, how I love thee....
*sigh*
It's not a CRAVING as such, just that I can't stop once I've started, so that the whole family-sized bag goes over the course of an evening. Also, I might admit to looking forward to sitting down in the evening with a bag of Maltesers all day long ;) But otherwise, NOT a craving, heh.
I have also just bought some pickled gherkins and dill cucumbers. Yes, it's that time of pregnancy again, the bit where I find out it's a boy, haha! ;) Seriously, HOW blown away will I be if it turns out to be a girl?! It's sooo a boy.
So I'll be 16 weeks the day after tomorrow!!!! I can't believe it! Neil took a belly pic for me at 15 weeks, but I still haven't uploaded it, and here I am at ALMOST 16 weeks, so I might as well wait a couple of day and then get him to take another for the right time. I'm sad that I missed the 14-week one though :(
Today I had my 16 week appointment with the midwife. Neil took the morning as a half-day holiday from work, so that he could stay home and watch the boys, since they were still in the dark about the pregnancy. I drove to the appointment, but the midwife had just left when I got there! I was 5 minutes late because I got lost (again!) in the maze of residential roads around the Community Centre where the appointments are being done now. But actually it turned out that I must have written down the wrong appointment time, because I had 10.45am and apparently it was supposed to be 10.30am. Oh well. I left my phone number with a lady at the Centre and the midwife phoned me in the afternoon. I was nervous that she'd be cross with me, but she was really nice! :) I was a bit fed up that Neil took holiday time for nothing though. Never mind.
So the midwife said she would like to come and do a home visit this afternoon instead! How lovely! The only thing was (as I told her), Neil was back at work and the boys did not know about the baby. I asked her if she could be subtle, but really there's nothing subtle about a baby's heartbeat whomping away through a doppler on my bare tummy, to a boy who has been there and done that twice already at the tender age of 4, hehe! Arthur remembers things incredibly well, from such a long way back too.
Anyway, I phoned Neil at work, and we decided I had two options. Try to send the boys somewhere else in the house for the doppler part (not really an option, trust me!), OR bite the bullet and tell them about the baby.
I chose the latter! :) And it went wonderfully, so I'm sooooo relieved and happy and excited and thankful! Yay!
A couple of hours before the midwife was due to come round, I was reclining on the floor with Nathan clambering over me and the older boys doing a floor puzzle next to me. I said that Mummy and Daddy had some exciting news for all of them! Arthur looked up enthusiastically, but Matthew was too absorbed in the jigsaw puzzle. Arthur came over to me, and I told him that a midwife was coming over later in the afternoon. I asked him if he could remember what a midwife does, and he said no. I asked him if he could remember what a midwife's JOB is, and he said no again. So I started a sentence: "A midwife looks after...." and he immediately said, "Babies." I asked, "When?" and he told me, "After they are born." I said, "Aaannnd...." He looked confused and asked, "... the boys??..." hehe! So I told him that midwives look after babies and their mummies, after the babies are born AND while they are still growing in their mummy's tummy. I told him that a midwife was coming round this afternoon, because Mummy and Daddy's exciting news is that there is a baby growing inside Mummy's tummy!
Arthur did a HUGE open-mouthed gasp of either joy or excitement, it was SUCH a relief to see! He asked a couple of questions about what the midwife would do, and I told him that she would take my blood pressure and test my wee to make sure that Mummy was doing fine, and then use the doppler to listen to the baby, to see if we could hear the heartbeat and find out if the baby was doing fine in there. I told him that he could be my special helper and sit right by me while the midwife did her stuff, because the little ones would not be big enough to help Mummy like he could - he BEAMED at that one :)
After that he was hopping for the midwife to turn up, and looking out of the window all the time. I told him that I have a scan in February where Mummy and Daddy will be able to see the baby in my tummy. I said we don't know at the moment if the baby is a sister or another brother. Arthur was jumping up and down with excitement on the sofa at this point (!!) and stopped dead when I said that last bit. He said with great feeling, "Oh, I HOPE it's a brother!" I asked him why, and he said he didn't know, but that he loves having brothers :) I asked if he could count how many brothers he would have if this baby is a boy, and he thought for a moment and said, "THREE!!!" with a look of amazement on his sweet little face. He said he really hopes this baby has a willy, haha! I told him that Mummy has a HUNCH that it does, but she could be wrong ;)
Soooo, that was WONDERFUL!!! Now and then I tried getting Matthew's attention (he's SO absorbed in whatever he's doing at the moment, and it's hard to get his attention while he's busy with trains, cars or jigsaws, or even just imaginative play) and told him that Mummy has another baby growing in her tummy. His eyes gave a quick glance to my tummy, but he was too busy with his activities to really respond! So, that's okay. I was not actually worried about the littler boys, just Arthur really.
I did tell Arthur that if the baby is a boy we will probably name him Benjamin, and his face fell! He said he didn't like that name, and it wasn't one of his favourite names AT ALL! I asked him what names he liked, and he said that he wanted the baby to be called one of HIS favourite names, which are Arthur, Matthew and Nathan, hehehe! ;) I explained how confusing that would be, and he paused, somewhat deflated by the revelation, and then said that in that case the baby should be called Nana, because that's his NEXT favourite name! :) He loves his Nana. When I said that Nana was really a girl's name (hehe), he said, "Well, then, the baby can be called Grandy! That really won't be confusing at all!" I used the "we'll see" line at that point and put an end to the conversation! ;)
The midwife appt went well. My blood pressure was 110/55 which was MUCH better than last time, phew! I was concerned that it's going to be super low this pregnancy after last time, but it's much more normal for me now and the midwife was happy with it. I've now met 3 of the team of 10 midwives, and they're all so nice so far!
I couldn't squeeze even a drop for the urine test, as I'd stupidly gone only half an hour before the midwife turned up! Tsk! But she said that was fine and gave me the specimin thingy for next time. I have actually ordered a vial of urinalysis test strips from a medical website, because I was nervous that I had a UTI recently and it turned out to be nothing. I do get symptoms on and off, but never actually turn out to have one. I don't usually think much about it when I have symptoms, but I get much more nervous when I'm pregnant because untreated bladder infections can get very complicated in pregnancy and I don't want that. It's such a pain to trawl to the germy doctor's with 3 little ones and a bump to pee on one of their sticks and be told there's nothing wrong, so I figured it would be a good idea to get some sticks myself. At least that way I can see if there's protein, blood, nitrates or leukocytes in my urine when I'm having symptoms, and then if there ARE, I can get a doctor's appt. I also ordered a stethoscope, because mine bit the dust a couple of pregnancies ago. Last pregnancy I was holding the metal listeny bit onto the tube to take my blood pressure, haha! So it will be nice to have a working stethoscope when I want to take my b/p. I have a sphygmomanometer (b/p thingy) from my midwifery/nursing days, and it works fine but it probably ought to be serviced or something, after all this time, to be sure it's still accurate! Still, it does the job if I need a quick check.
The midwife got the doppler out and the boys all (ALL! Even Nathan!) crowded round me on the sofa. She started searching around with it on my tummy and told me that she can't guarantee hearing a heartbeat at 16 weeks - haha! I just nodded and didn't tell her about the doppler and gel in the drawer about a foot away which I used at 8 weeks and 4 days to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time! ;) I didn't think she would believe me, since she already told me it was early for feeling movements, after I'd expressed slight concern over barely feeling any movements yet compared with my other pregnancies. She said I'm probably just busier this time and that's all it is, but that's just rhubarb now isn't it. So, I smiled and nodded and played dumb, and I will find out whether I have an anterior placenta at my scan.
Babydot's heartbeat was nice and strong and steady when she did find it, and Arthur was thrilled to hear it. They all seemed to stop and seem somewhat awed when we heard it, it was lovely to watch them! They're so little! :) We also heard the baby kick the doppler a couple of times, which Arthur loved too, as the midwife explained to him what the sounds were as we were hearing them. I didn't feel them at ALL though. So odd! For my babies/pregnancies, anyway. I AM feeling movements now fairly regularly, but soooo incredibly feather-light and faint, and only when I'm lying flat on my back in the mornings and at night. And occasionally in the same position when I lie down on the floor in the living room while the boys play, if I'm having a tired moment. So I'm reassured that Babydot is moving healthily in there, it's just so weird to me not to feel it yet.
As soon as the doppler was put away and my tummy was wiped, Arthur laid his ear on my tummy, as though he was listening carefully for more - so sweet! :)
He loved the midwife. He was talking about her at bedtime and saying that he wouldn't like ANY of the other midwives because he liked Michelle (this one) soooo much! He said, "She was so kind to the boys and made sure they were all happy (when I went to the loo to try and pee)." She did their jigsaw with them and I heard her using a cutesy voice with Nathan when he smiled at her :)
When she arrived, I opened the door with Nathan on my hip and the two other boys crowded in to see her come in. She took one look at them and said to me, "You didn't give yourself much of a break, did you?!" She also did the "I don't know how you do it!" line a few times throughout the appointment. I told her that I didn't know how I "did it" either on an hour-to-hour basis, but that I LOVED it! She thought Arthur was 5 going on 6, for some reason (?!) and asked him if he had started school yet. He sort of wrinkled up his nose and said, "What?!" hehehehe! I nearly laughed out loud at his response, it was so "what language are you speaking?!" hehe! She asked how old he was and when he said, "I'm FOUR!", she asked if he was at nursery. He gave her a blank look (hehe) and I explained that we hadn't enrolled them in nursery or school because we'll be homeschooling. She was actually NOT shocked or dismayed (how refreshing!) because she'd delivered a couple of babies in a family that homeschooled their 6 kids. So that was a relief for me!
Sometimes in moments like that (like when the midwife asked Arthur how old he was and he said 4), it really strikes me as though I hadn't realised it before, that Arthur is essentially the oldest of FOUR children at the age of FOUR! He still will be when the baby is born, for a good few months to come, too. Four, aged 4 and under, WOW! I can't believe that will be me between July and November this year!! It's so surreal. I can't even believe I'm this blessed sometimes, to look at my life and see that God has blessed me with not one, not two, not THREE, but FOUR beautiful babies, and in the space of 4 years as well! How incredibly wonderful. I just can't fathom how I've found myself under this particular shower of blessings, what on earth I have done to deserve it. Which, I HAVEN'T done a thing, but God is full of grace, and I love that about God! :)
So, my next appointment of anything pregnancy-related is my SCAAAAAN, wheee! That's Feb 18th, which is now just under a month away!! It's at 20 weeks, and then I see the GP at 24 weeks, and the midwife again at 28 weeks. Though, she did leave me their number and say that I can call any time about anything, and if I want the baby checked on before 28 weeks I can just call and they'll see me. If I struggle getting the kids to the Community Centre, I can always call and she'll come to me instead! I love the new pilot scheme, they're so much friendlier somehow, like they are not so terribly overworked, overtired and overstretched, so they have more time to give to the women in their care, and are able to be much more flexible for the women's convenience. Which is lovely!
We talked briefly about labour, in that I am nervous about it and really want to think of SOMETHING re. a) the pain, and b) the 2nd degree tears that I keep on getting. I'm definitely going to try the perineal massage this time, though she said there's no proof that it DOES work, just as there's no proof that it doesn't! Many swear by it, and there's certainly nothing to lose, so I'll definitely do it. It's starting at 36 weeks though, and I wouldn't have even started it when Nathan was born last time! She was surprised that I had a 2nd degree tear with a pre-term baby, but I said it was just the SPEED, and that's something I found very difficult too. She asked how the pushing went with my births, and I said there WASN'T ever any pushing! I am just busy making a ton of noise because there's a baby bulleting out of me and I can't slow it down and it feels scary and painful and out-of-control! She said that there are a lot of women who would happily give me both their legs in exchange for the ability to birth a baby quickly without pushing. Hmmm, a good perspective to keep in mind!
She said the only thing to really fix the noise I make is hypnobirthing, but I told her that wasn't for me. Anything hypnosis-related isn't something I will do, because anything that alters my state of mind that isn't God is not something I want to participate in, however wistful I feel about it, given that it seems to be a helpful thing! ;) Meg sent me a book that looks helpful, recently - a Christian book about birth. I'm hoping when I read that (which I must, soon!) it will help me in the "aaaaargh, birth scares me!" department. I never used to be scared of birth! I was always very confident about it having studied midwifery for a year, and having such a passion for it, learning about it and understanding the process well. It's only with the PAIN and the SPEED and the uncontrollable stuff that makes me SO NOISY (which also unnerves me but I can't stop it!), that I've started to be scared about it and really don't want to go through the same again!
The midwife suggested pethidine as a secondary solution to the noise/pain at the end, but that I should get it nice and early given how fast things go for me at the end! I don't want to take pethidine, but I'll keep a vaguely open mind about it for now! ;) There's a special appt now at 36 weeks at home, to discuss labour and birth, no matter where you're planning to give birth! I love this new system! :)
Okay, it's getting late and I need to go. I have heartburn from alllll the Maltesers, but that's my own fault! ;)
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