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2008-12-29 - 12.13am��previous entry��next entry
12 weeks, 5 days - SCAN TOMORROW!!! :)
I wrote a good part of an entry just now and then accidentally clicked a random Diaryland link instead of the entry box, and when I went back the box was EMPTY again, aaaargh!! It's so late as well! I'll write it out again as best I can, because I want it all written, but urgh! Don't you just hate that?!
I will let you guys in on a little secret. I was so fed up with Diaryland not having auto-save that I am now writing this at BLOGGER!!! Mwa-ha-ha! No, I don't have a pregnancy diary at Blogger. But anyway, Blogger AUTO-SAVES so frequently!!! So, bah to Diaryland - I'm filling in a nice safe Blogger box right now, and then I'll copy and paste it to my pregnancy diary when I'm finished (sorry Blogger!). I feel a bit bad "cheating" on Diaryland after alllll these years ;) But I have reasons, and I'll definitely be writing more about it at my arthursmummy diary pretty soon! :)
Well, it's really late but I have to update tonight because I HAVE MY SCAN IN THE MORNING!!!! Wheeeeee! I can't wait! Oddly enough, though, I haven't had the same level of excitement that I expected, or remembered from past pregnancies at this stage. It even feels sort of run-of-the-mill to me, a bit! I am constantly busy with 3 other littles, so it's easy to be distracted from thoughts of tomorrow. I have been thinking about it plenty when I get the chance though!
I am loving every moment of this! I so love being pregnant! I don't love still feeling queasy, but it's not bad at all and I'm so happy to be past the NAUSEA. I keen having random moments where I find myself hugging myself with glee, and stifling a squeally whispery thing in my throat because of how EXCITED and HAPPY I feel to be pregnant! I just love it so so so much! I'm so very excited about the stage I'm coming to - feeling better, starting to show (so exciting!!!), wearing maternity clothes all the time, feeling the baby kick and wiggle, the scans, finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl and thus naming the baby... It's just the most wonderful thing, and I can't get over how blessed I am to be here experiencing it again! *sigh*
I did forget a bit about the dizzy exhaustion and the palpitations and the breathlessness that come with that stage, and have recently begun, though! ;) Oh I forgot to say last entry - at my midwife appointment, they took my blood pressure and commented on it being low, and I waved it off and said that was normal for me. So they said well okay then, and started to write it on my notes. It's only when I saw her write 90/50 that I said, "But not THAT low!" ;) My norm is 100/60 or 110/65 maybe. She was asking if I faint easily and stuff and I said no. She said that I must be exhausted! I did feel exhausted but put it down to having been viral in one way or another for almost a month straight by that point. I did feel light-headed when I went to the loo to do my urine sample that morning though, so maybe my b/p was responsible for that? I have wondered since if my b/p has been lower than usual for me again, because I have had quite a few times recently when I've felt just breathless and weak and dizzy, and just totally exhausted. That could just be "normal" pregnancy though - it's pretty familiar to me from pregnancy so I didn't think much of it. I came over funny yesterday when we were serving dinner. The room went round a bit all of a sudden and my head started vibrating and feeling weird and buzzy. It didn't clear up which was the most bothersome part of it really. I didn't have much appetite for dinner and felt yucky, so I had a lie down on the sofa for a bit. That's when I realised how EXHAUSTED I felt all of a sudden.
I wonder also if it's to do with the baby having a little growth spurt? I checked Babydot's stats this evening because I hadn't done so for a while, and was surprised to see that from 12 weeks to 13 weeks (I'm 13 weeks the day after tomorrow) the baby grows a full 2cm in length from head to bottom! That's even more amazing considering that Babydot will only be about 7cm from head to bottom today! That's a lot of length to put on all of a sudden! None of the other weeks either side have a 2cm increase in length. 1.4cm maybe, here and there, but not 2cm. So, a beany growth spurt then? Which might account for the dizzy exhaustion, greater hunger, desire for tons of protein, etc?
I am eating pretty well at the moment. But I do keep wanting protein lately - not necessarily meat. Yesterday I made myself a bit of a fry-up for lunch - baked beans, egg, fried mushrooms, and 3 rashers of thick cut (UNsmoked, because smoked = bleurgh!) bacon! And milk. And two slices of buttered toast :) Today for lunch all I wanted was bacon and egg and so on, again, so I had a 2-egg bacon and mushroom omelette which was delish! And milk and toast :) Tomatoey things are also good at the moment. Well, not some things, like tomato soup - blech! Canned tomatoes, chopped = yummy! Even on their own! I make a pasta sauce with tomatoes, green pesto, tomato paste, herbs, etc, and mushrooms (I rather like those at the moment!), and I want that quite a lot when I can't think what to eat.
I am NOT crazy about sweet things, at all. Except you know, I'm munching through Christmas-related chocolates and fudge and so on, all the same :) Such trials, hehe! ;) I enjoy eating them, but nothing WILD like usual. They're okay, they taste nice. But if I'm rifling around for something to eat, then I don't want to LOOK at the biscuits, cakes, sweets, or whatever else that's sweet in the cupboard. I also am NOT impressed with salt and vinegar crisps - usually a favourite for me, and probably something I've enjoyed in past pregnancies? They just taste YUCK and I don't like the thought of them. Plain crisps are better, but still not a food I'm choosing much at the moment. Cottage cheese is not on the menu for me right now, nor yogurts or stuff like that. But I think that's normal-ish for me after the 1st trimester when I've done nothing but eat those things for a while! I haven't done that much this time though. I did have cottage cheese for a couple of weeks early on but did NOT want to look at it after that. I liked clementines a LOT for a while, but I haven't been interested in those for a good few weeks now. I do just want savoury things when I'm looking for food to eat, and there don't seem to be enough options in the house so it feels frustrating! I wanted McDonald's FRIES tonight!!! Crazy woman! I know I will have felt gross eating such junk so I'm glad we didn't do anything about that mild craving-ish thing! I also felt like chicken with my tomatoey pasta tonight, but we don't have any :(
Water is MUCH easier to drink now - almost back to normal I think, so that's a relief! :)
I have been getting a bit pre-occupied lately with wondering why I'm not feeling Babydot move! I'm beginning to second-guess myself over whether I really did feel movement back at 9.5 weeks, or not.... I feel SURE I did on that one day at 9w4d (I think it was that day) because it was an unmistakable tap tap-tap, that was totally familiar to me from my other pregnancies, NOT mistakable for wind, and just above and to the right over my pubic bone (where I usually feel early movements). It was distinct and clear, though teeny and feather-light. So I feel sure. But then ALLLL this time feeling absolutely nothing since?... Anyway. I have wondered a few times this past week, but never been able to say, "Ooh, I just felt the baby!" or anything clear like that. Then last night I was lying in bed with restless legs (a norm for me, not a pregnancy thing!) and jiggling them about from my hips, lying on my back, to make them feel less jumpy and restless. I do this absent-mindedly most nights because I'm so used to it. Anyway, I did a few hip jiggles, thinking about various random things as I did so, and a thought distracted me so that I stopped jiggling all of a sudden (I can't even remember the thought now!). At that moment, a little person went, "POKE!" from inside me! It was clear as day, like a finger tip pressing gently but firmly just for a second. I even felt my skin sort of "blip" with the sensation. It was just above my bikini line, to the right a bit. It was just the most WONDERFUL feeling!!! :) I lay perfectly still without breathing (till I remembered it might be a good idea to resume!), hoping to feel another little wiggle or poke (I'm guessing the poke was a kick from a tiny foot!), but I didn't feel anything more. I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face, I'm sure of that, hehe! :) So precious!
Soooo, I can definitely say that I've felt the baby kick me at 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant, but not before then except for 9 weeks or so. I don't want to discount that earlier time because of how clear some of those taps felt, but I am still also SORT OF counting the 12w4d poke as kind of a first. If it IS a first, then it's by far the latest that I've felt ANY of my babies move so far! Which is a bit odd, is it not?? Maybe I have an anterior placenta (on the front, so that it cushions kicks and you generally don't feel them till later therefore) this time? Even Arthur I could feel pressing and stuff from 11 weeks. With Matthew I was 10 weeks, and Nathan I was 9w6d! So I was fine with the idea of feeling movement at 9w4d, but then nothing since.... Anyway, even if it WAS real baby bumples at 9w4d, it's still different this time because I was feeling the boys really clearly by 11/12 weeks regularly.
The other thing that's a bit different this time, and has me a bit intrigued/confused, is my milk supply. It's still going great! Which is wonderful - I will be able to breastfeed my baby boy till his first birthday and beyond without the need to supplement with formula - thank you Lord!! :) But still, it's making me think WHY? My milk was almost completely gone the first time I was breastfeeding during pregnancy by 14 weeks. It was very sparse and salty from then on, and had gradually declined up to that point. The second time I was breastfeeding and pregnant, it was similar, although it might have been more like 15 weeks that my milk dried up? I can't remember, I'll have to check. Anyway, I'm SURE that at nearly 13 weeks with my other lactating pregnancies (!), I was not still having uncomfortable let-downs and the baby having to gulp to keep up with the flow for a nice length of time!!! It's GREAT, and I'm so pleased! But confused, a little. I wonder why it's different this time? Maybe it's random. Maybe it's answer to prayer - I did pray that with getting pregnant a little earlier this time, my milk might last adequately to Nathan's first birthday, and it has (almost!), so I'm really grateful and glad! :)
I have to go to bed!! Tomorrow's scan is the nuchal scan where they will measure the nuchal fold on the back of Babydot's neck, to give me a risk factor for Down's Syndrome and other Trisomys. The risk factor will be increasing given that my age is increasing each time I have a baby, but hopefully the nuchal test will lower it back down again. This time the hospital's letter said that they now offer a double screen - the nuchal scan AND a blood test. I am going to decline the blood test. I'm happy enough for them to do the nuchal test while we have the scan (I love to see my babies when I get the chance to!), but honestly if we have a baby with Down's Syndrome we'll adore it to pieces and scans and screens and tests won't change a thing. Neil and I will actually take it as confirmation from God that we're to adopt another child with Down's Syndrome one day. So, there is no reason to get poked and analysed too much! I'm hoping for a good result and a healthy baby, but nothing will change how much we love this baby.
I often try to strain my eyes at the grainy image to see if I can see the baby's bits at this scan, just for a heads-up, even though it's early! ;) We DID see Arthur's pretty clearly at his nuchal scan. We came away from Matthew's thinking we had seen those boy bits again, but we weren't so sure at that one. I was exactly 13 weeks with Arthur, and only 12w2d with Matthew. The likelihood of it being accurate goes up all the time from 12 weeks, so it was a bit 50/50 with Matthew and more likely with Arthur. I can't remember what gestation I was with Nathan, but I know we saw NO boy bits at that scan OR the one I had at 15 weeks to check on my haematoma! [edited to add: I checked, and I was 13w1d with Nathan, and still didn't see any boy bits!]
Anyway, this time I'm thinking that it just drives me NUTS to think maaaaybe I saw something, and then wonder until my big scan at 22 weeks - it's just too long and it drives me crazy, and it doesn't change a thing! I would far rather not have a clue this time, and I'm actually feeling kind of nervous about getting a glimpse of something I don't want to see this early, especially being almost 13 weeks along! So I really hope we don't see anything. It will be a big relief! I want to be clueless when we walk into our big scan and have it CLEARLY confirmed (hopefully!) :)
My grandparents are coming in the morning to watch Arthur and Matthew. We've told them that Mummy and Daddy are going to the hospital in the morning and Granny and Grandoug will come to play with them while we're gone. Arthur asked why straight away, and Neil told him that Mummy has an appointment. He said we'll take Nathan with us because it will be easier for Granny and Grandoug. Thankfully he didn't ask any more questions! I'm so not ready to tell them yet! I hope Nathan does okay tomorrow.... The scan is at 10.10am, which could clash horribly with his nap and leave him tired and whiney during the scan, which would NOT be good! I'm praying that he'll nap miraculously well before we go (he has been fighting naps for about a week, all day, urgh!) and be happy as a clam while we're at the hospital. OR that he'll be happily distracted by a breadstick or two for long enough to cover the scan appointment, and that there won't be any delays! It will be so surreal to have my baby there (he's still such a BABY boy, he's not even one till next month!) and be watching my BABY on the screen, looking like a real baby by this stage. I know I've been there and done that enough, but it's still so surreal, and totally NEW each time because this time it's Matthew, or Nathan, you know?
Anyway, I will update asap with news of the scan and the pics we get. I hope we get good ones! We pay �3 for 3 pictures, I think (or two?), so I hope we get a lovely sonographer who will chat to us about the baby, let us spend time looking at Babydot, and give us lovely pictures! Our first nuchal scan was like that, so we were super bummed the next two times with our cold, rushed sonographers who didn't take any care about the pictures they were giving us (Matthew's just printed out 3 of the same picture for our �3!!), or answer our questions, ugh. I hope we get a nice one tomorrow! :)
Oh I almost forgot to say! I had a bath this afternoon, and when I got out, my bump had "popped", as they say! ;) I put on maternity trousers and went downstairs, and Neil was really taken aback at how noticable my bump was! I was a little nervous that Arthur would notice, and sat down when he looked over! It's so weird that it was not poking out like that before my bath, and then voila - baby bump! I am so happy to see it! :) My next belly picture is 14 weeks, so you'll see it then! :)
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