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2007-12-30 - 11.29pm��previous entry��next entry
34 weeks - long entry!
It's late and this ought to be a short entry to catch up quickly, but yeah, my track record for short entries is not so great! So I'll just try to make it as brief as is possible for me!
I'm 34 weeks pregnant today! Just six weeks to gooooo!!! I can't believe how pregnant I'm getting. It's STILL so surreal, I'm not sure why after all this time, but it is!
Well it has been a couple of weeks since I wrote last so I have probably got plenty to catch up on.
1) I am sooooooooo huge. So. very. huge. Today someone told me that I'm surely bigger than I ever was with the boys, but I think not. I just GET this huge when I'm in the last month or so of pregnancy. Not just my bump (which is looking term-ish suddenly, judging by alllll the looks and comments I'm getting wherever I go), but ALL over. 34 weeks is always the belly pic that I slightly dread getting to, because in both my previous pregnancies, I have suddenly looked really "weighty" in my face at 34 weeks, compared to 32 weeks or any time before. And then it continues till I give birth. It mainly seems to be water retention, but I'm sure it's not just that - some of it is just WEIGHT, not water. Anyway, we haven't taken the 34 week belly pic today yet, but I know from the mirror that I am looking puffy in the face like the last two times, just over the last 4-6 days I think. Yayness.
2) I am still wearing my wedding ring though! I had taken it off by this stage with my other pregnancies, because it was too tight. Mind you, last pregnancy it was hot weather so that made for more swelling. It leaves a mark now if I take it off (which I don't, ever. It's just if I check), and sometimes feels a little tight. I don't want to get so that it needs CUTTING off, but I am being fairly stubborn keeping it on. I hate being "naked" on my ring finger late in pregnancy!
3) Still no idea what I weigh, but it has got to be quite a lot now! Meg, the batteries for my scales are round and flat and silver, and not the tiniest type, and that's all I know! I'm so technically-minded ;) This time last pregnancy I had gained exactly 1lb per week of pregnancy - 34lbs. So I reckon I've probably gained similar so far.
4) I bought some new maternity clothes a few weeks ago. Well, new as in second-hand at eBay. I think I mentioned it a couple of entries back - a pair of size 14 maternity jeans and a pair of comfy maternity bottoms in the same size, as my one pair of size 14 maternity jeans that I needed in the last few weeks with Matthew was the only thing I could fit in by 30 weeks!!! Yikes! Anyway, they were surprisingly snug by the time they arrived, and I am now pretty much outgrowing them in the thigh department! Yeurgh! I don't feel like I LOOK much different from my previous pregnancies, and I doubt I've gained any more weight than the other two times, but each pregnancy it seems to distribute ever so slightly differently. I got stretch marks in different places with Matthew than with Arthur as I put weight on (exactly the same AMOUNT of weight) in different places. This time I am just thunderous in the thighs. *sigh* I am NOT joyous about this. And my girth when I am sitting down is fairly impressive now. I FILL an armchair, arm to arm! As in, I get a snug hug from the chair when sitting! ;) Which is weeeeird for me because I am actually so petite when not 50 months pregnant!
Anyway, the long and short of it is, I need to buy some size 16 maternity jeans and trousers! Urrrgh. There is no way I'll make it to the end of my pregnancy without them, as I won't squeeze into the NEW size 14s for more than another week or two at the rate I'm going! I'm not even eating crazily. It's just how I put weight on in pregnancy - sure and steady until the 3rd trimester and then it just piles on fast! I am blessed that it just falls off again after about 8 months of breastfeeding though, no exercise or diet changes necessary, so that's okay. I figure I need all the weight for breastfeeding, and that's how it seems to have turned out with my previous pregnancies.
So I'm watching eBay for some bargains, which they HAVE to be because of having no money to actually buy any really! I'm also watching for Size Enormous comfy trousers for the first few months after Nathan is born, because I'll need them to cover my thighs! ;) Thank goodness it's not summer this time and thus I don't have to risk flashing my legs just to keep myself at a reasonable temperature!
What number are we on? Oh yes...
5) Seeeerious Braxton Hicks contractions now. They are suddenly MUCH more frequent and getting very uncomfy. Tonight I had 7 over "bedtime" whilst breastfeeding Matthew and then Arthur. I wondered if breastfeeding was beginning to have an effect on them now, making them more intense than they might be if I wasn't breastfeeding as they occurred (like how UNBEARABLE breastfeeding Arthur made my labour contractions when I was a few hours from having Matthew). But then since they went to sleep I've had at least 8 more and some of those have been humdingers (as far as BHs go, anyway). Some of them make me have to stop what I'm doing and breathe till the peak passes. They don't last long, maybe 30 or 40 seconds, and the peak where it can hurt is much shorter, like 10-15 seconds in the middle. The hurting bit is like a band of crampiness around the underside of my bump and the small of my back. It's all a bit pre-labourish, but I'm not concerned. I had such a lot of strong Braxton Hicks with my other pregnancies - in fact, so far this pregnancy has been rather quiet in comparison! I was timing overly frequent ones from about 27 weeks with my other pregnancies! Sometimes I'd have an hour where they'd be 5 minutes or less apart, even if not painful. Nothing like that so far this pregnancy, except this evening being a bit more geared up maybe.
6) Nathan is sooooooooo active in there. He isn't as active as Arthur was - I can't imagine another baby that active, honestly! But he is plenty active. He pushes his feet so that they sweep across my tummy on the right hand side and then poke hard out of my right side when they reach a full stretch. That move is one of his favourites (was Arthur's too) and it is starting to hurt quite a bit when he's especially vigorous about it. He is currently lying with his back on my left side, but turned upwards slightly. I think he's somewhere between anterior and lateral in position. Arthur was lateral on the same side as Nathan. Matthew was anterior most of the time, on my right side.
Anyway, feet. Feet in my sides! He is also HIGHER again I think, than he was when he dropped. I think he must have popped up a bit again - I know they can do that. My bump doesn't seem or feel quite so low as 32 weeks, and I can feel his bottom at my tummy button and his feet sweeping above that level now. It might just be that he's growing, but I think he is a little higher than before.
7) (are we on 7?) We haven't chosen a girl's name. I am beginning to wonder if we'll just go with the "it's a boy" thing, and if the baby pops out a girl then we'll think of names THEN. We do have (somewhere at the backs of our minds!) ideas from before about which girls names we like and I think we had a shortlist at one point too. My parents came over to see us for a few hours the other day, and I hadn't seen them since I was about 26 weeks pregnant. I opened the door to greet them, and Mummy hugged me and then rubbed my belly as she stepped into the house, saying, "Look at this!" (I guess I am a lot bigger than at 26 weeks, lol!). Then she stood back for all of about 3 seconds, and said, "Yeah, it's a boy." :) She has seen me pregnant before and carried totally different with her babies for a girl and a boy, and I'm carrying like she did for her boy, each time. When my dad came in, she asked him what he thought, and he looked at me for a moment and then said, "Well it's a boy, isn't it!" very matter-of-factly. So that's that! I will take their word for it :)
8) I can't think what else! There must be a ton of other stuff that I meant to write.... Um.... Oh, I am trying to get things sorted in my head for getting ready for Nathan. I made a list at LAST - things that need doing before he arrives. It's looonnnng! But thankfully only 3 of the items on the list are things that need buying. We need to buy a cot mattress. It HAS to be new and unused, I am picky about that. We still have Mothercare vouchers left over from presents for Matthew when he was born (!!) which I am REALLY glad of now, because that might help us buy a mattress for Nathan for not nearly so much money. And Matthew won't mind :) We also need to buy cot sheets - I won two on eBay that I really like :) We had plain sheets for the cot bed when Matthew was tiny, and I found we needed more than we had (at least 4) as they got pooed/weed/puked on pretty frequently! Anyway in hindsight, I would have LOVED to have some cute printed sheets, so I bid on a couple of Winnie the Pooh sheets (the only ones that were basically yellow and thus would match our bedroom, which is where Nathan will sleep), and won for half the RRP! Yay! So we have two sheets, or will do when they arrive. Matthew's cot bed sheets will be too big for Nathan's cot, and in any case he is still using them! Someone suggested just bunching and tucking the too-big sheets, but I'd rather have a smooth fit with all the SIDS anxiety I'm sure to end up having once the time comes. *sigh*
What was the other "to buy" thing?? Ohh that was it - I'm wondering about buying another BabyDan playpen. Right now we don't have the space for one, but I am thinking I might need to MAKE some space for one. We only have the one room in our house that we all live in during the day, and with two energetic little boys and a whole bunch of toys, I'm nervous that there will be nowhere to put Nathan where he won't be at risk of getting bumped or trodden on, or driven into by a doll's pushchair going at high speed, etc! I really can't see him being "safe" even when I'm right there, all the time. So I wondered about having a playpen somewhere that I can just pop him in safely while I go to the loo or something. I have slings but do not plan on wearing him constantly. I don't do it too well - I get too hot waaaay too easily, and find things cumbersome or clumsy, cuddling other little ones or climbing over kiddie gates or going to the loo, etc. Also my back hates slings of ALL sorts, so far, and I'm getting unmotivated to try out any new types of slings. So I don't know about wearing Nathan all that much, we'll see. Maybe at first if it makes life a lot easier. But I will need to put him down more really, to deal with the boys. I had to with Matthew MUCH more than I did with Arthur. I dreaded it but it really wasn't so bad. He was quite happy to be put down and to sleep in his Moses basket rather than on me, so it was fine, and MUCH easier on me. I still held him plenty though :)
Braxton Hicks again. This one has given me a hot flush in my face!
Soooo if we somehow removed a sofa from our living room, I could put a playpen there, but it would have to be rectangular shaped rather than the hexagonal shape that it normally goes in. We do have a BabyDan playpen but we use it as a sort of room-divider-y stair gate, which you might have seen in the past couple of years in photos on my arthursmummy diary. It goes around the bottom of the stairs. So we can't use that, it's being far too useful where it is! Anyway, maybe not, but it's just a thought. I really think I'll need "somewhere" safe to put Nathan at times, even though I'm sure he will still be at risk of poking arms and toys flung over the bars at him!
9) I'm so hoping Matthew will be okay with Nathan! I am feeling confident about Arthur, but I have no idea about Matthew. Today at church the couple who had baby #1 were in the creche room, and we were the only other people in there as it was a family service so all the kids were in the main hall. Ours were being extremely hard to handle today however, so we wrangled them into the creche room! Anyway, there they were with their TINY 5-week-old baby boy, and that was such a great opportunity for the boys to see a new baby boy and spend time watching him and asking questions, etc. Arthur seems such a pro, hehe! He just looked at him knowingly, and kept saying things like, "I think he's getting ready to cry..." and sure enough, Jacob started to cry seconds later! Or "I think he's getting hungry..." and Jacob's mummy told Arthur that he was definitely getting hungry as it was time for him to have a feed! Arthur was very relaxed around him, eager to say hello and make him "happy", and be close to him, and didn't seem phased by anything at all.
For Matthew, it was a new experience! He stood quite close to Jacob, who was held pretty much at Matthew's face level as Matthew stood by. He was so still watching him (with a very neutral expression!) for SUCH a long time, just taking a step backwards or forwards now and then, and never taking his eyes off Jacob - his mummy commented that it was the most still that she'd seen Matthew all morning, haha! He'd been running continually round the building for about 30 minutes straight, up to that point! Anyway, he was very intrigued. Jacob did some of that newborn writhing/snorting/grimacing stuff that they do before they REALLY start crying full blast, and I wondered if that would worry Matthew (he is often easily concerned about other kids or babies crying or seeming hurt or upset), but he didn't seem anxious. I'm not sure he was 100% fine with it though, but at least he didn't turn to me looking scared like I thought he might! He will soon have to get used to angry baby cries though ;) It's a big thing for my tiny boy to adjust to. I hope it will be okay for him.
'Nother Braxton Hicks - not too strong though :)
After a while he wanted to touch Jacob's head and stroke his hair. I had to stay close because although he WAS stroking and being gentle (as far as Matthew "does" gentle), he was sometimes a little firm with the stroking and I didn't want to make that new mummy feel fidgetty about her precious tiny boy! So I made sure to only let him touch Jacob if he was really gentle. I'm trying to teach him to be gentle with the baby dolls the boys got for Christmas too. He is very affectionate with them and cuddles them to his chest and face, saying "Ahhhhh!" a lot, but then he will lay them on the floor and poke their eyes, haha! So far I'm not too worried that it's a bad sign, because dolls' eyes just ARE interesting to examine, especially to a toddler - they are kind of shiny and jewel-like compared with the plastic-y rest of the doll. So hopefully he will not want to try poking Nathan's eyes out!
Ooh, I wonder what colour eyes Nathan will have?! I'm so excited to see what he looks like, and super excited to find out what colour-combination we have produced this time! Matthew is so fair, though I wouldn't call him blond - my parents keep on saying how blond he is, but he isn't BLOND as such, just fair. And with the blue eyes :) Arthur, of course, is brown-eyed with brown hair. There's just no predicting what Nathan might be! It's so exciting! He could have dark hair like Arthur - surely that's the most likely scenario given that Neil and I are dark-haired (though I was fair like Matthew when I was tiny - my mum says not as fair as he is though), or fairer like Matthew. OR red-haired. We have a lot of red hair on both sides of the family, and Neil has a lot of red/auburn in his beard if it ever grows. We could easily produce a red-haired boy bean, and in fact I think I will be quite surprised if we finish having kids and have NOT produced a red-head somewhere along the way! And eye colour, who knows! I once did a survey thingy at a genetics site (wish I could remember where now), and it said that 3 in 6 of our children would have brown eyes (though neither Neil or I do!), 1 in 6 would have blue, and the remaining 2 in 6 would have GREEN eyes! So maybe we could even end up with brown-haired, brown-eyed Arthur; fair-haired, blue-eyed Matthew, and red-haired, green-eyed Nathan?!! How FUN that would be!!! I can't wait to find out what Nathan will be like :)
Nathan is going crazy all OVER my belly right now. It is morphing heavily into strange shapes every few seconds!
I think I would like some XS sized Fuzzi Bunz. I didn't buy Fuzzis till Arthur was 5 months old, and he was just growing out of mediums then (which, naturally, I had just spent a fortune buying!). Matthew was in mediums for WAY longer, as he was a slimmer build. Anyway, they are so fab. I wish I had used Fuzzis from earlier with Arthur! He's in XL now, and Matthew is in size large. Once Matthew was a couple of weeks old (maybe sooner, actually), he was wetting through EVERY other kind of nappy at night within a few hours. I so wanted to put him in a nappy that he could get through the night with, to avoid the hassle of night changes when he was wet through. If he pooed at night, obviously he would need a change, but he wasn't doing that so much any more. So I bought some size small Fuzzis, and problem solved! :) We have a lot of size smalls and mediums put away for Nathan.
BUT, I remember when I got the first of the size small Fuzzis in the post and put one on Matthew - it was such a relief to have a solution to the many changes overnight, but they were a little bit too big for him at first. I remember thinking how next time I would buy some XS Fuzzis (also called Preemie Fuzzis) for the perfect fit on a very new baby for the first few weeks - they are for babies weighing 4-10lbs (smalls are 7-16lbs). I know they would only fit for a few weeks, but oh how worth it in terms of ease and convenience during those intensive weeks!
Braxton Hicks again.
Anyway, so I'm thinking in the ideal world I would get half a dozen XS Fuzzi Bunz for the early weeks. They're just so easy, and so slim-fitting compared with lots of other newborn cloth nappies, and they don't result in wet clothes/sheets/parents every couple of hours! Matthew was a light-pee-er at first, just until my milk came in properly, and then he could pee through concrete. Arthur was the same, and I'm sure Nathan will be too! So I'd love some XS Fuzzis. Plus, OH HOW CUTE they must be! Soooo tiny! And I thought they only came in white, but nooo, some places sell them in pale yellow, pale green, pale blue and pale pink as well! I think I would go for 2 blue, 2 yellow and 2 white :) I'm tentatively looking around for the cheapest way of maybe possibly buying a few. NOTHING is on eBay right now, as it's the Christmas lull. Tsk! That applies to the size 16 maternity trousers that I need too! Hurry up and start selling things again, people! I might use gift money for Fuzzis, if I can sweet talk Neil into agreeing that they'd be GREAT to have! ;) Or, knowing that some people might give us money when Nathan is born, buy a few Fuzzis and allocate the money gifts once they arrive, for them (ie. pay ourselves back by putting the gift money straight in the bank!). Or maybe just suck it up and not get any XS Fuzzis :( And probably get by fine the way we did last time, with the newborn nappies we have, until he fits size small.
What else to write? It's late and I have written a HUGE entry after all (what a surprise!!), so I should just stop now and go to bed! Oh, I am snottier lately. I am always kind of snotty from around when I find out I'm pregnant, until I give birth. When I'm morning sick it's just SO dreadfully awful to be snotty like that, it makes it soooo much worse. But otherwise it's only mildly annoying at worst :) But lately I am a little more annoyed than I was, and blowing my nose more. Definitely not a cold or anything - it's just more of the pregnancy-related stuff. I also noticed that I have more CM this last week or so. I usually have a lot when pregnant anyway, so MORE is annoying! I know it's all normal, gearing up for birth, etc.
Talking of which, aaaargh, I am suddenly having crazy "how in the wide wiggly world am I ever going to make it through that kind of pain again?!!" type of thoughts! Normally I am very excited about birth and trust my body, etc. I am all for natural birth, and don't fear it. But there comes a stage of pregnancy where I hit a brick wall of panic about it for some reason! I just remember how terribly awfully painful it was to give birth last time and the time before, and get scared of having to endure it again! With Arthur I HAD to have an epidural. I could not tolerate the loooong drawn-out back labour another minute. So I was anxious that I would not manage without pain relief with Matthew, but I DID, yay! It was just so unbearably painful though. I really really really do not want pain relief this time, I really want to manage by myself like last time. It's so worth it when it's all over, for me. But it's a scary thought that I'll be in that much pain again, and who knows how long for, or how on earth I'll manage it! I will be in hospital this time, so I'm worried that I'll cave and ask for pain relief when things are hard.
I should write a birth plan again. I have Matthew's and Arthur's close to hand, which will help me to write Nathan's quite easily, but I just need to get round to doing it. I feel generally less bothered about writing one this time, but I think I still should all the same. Especially going into hospital to give birth.
I also need to pack a hospital bag for REAL this time! :) This is the first time I have PLANNED for a hospital birth, so it's different for me. In 2 weeks I will ask for a repeat swab test for Group B Strep at my routine appointment, but it's pretty likely to come back positive. I know that. Sooo. Anyway, if it was negative, I think I would still wonder about whether I WANT a homebirth. I DO want to give birth in the comfort of my own home, more than anything, but it's the fact that my own home is so tiny and crowded with small energetic needy people, hehe! I don't think I would get the space I need for labour, and that would drive me crazy, and possibly bother the boys too much. I don't want that. So I think I am definitely planning a hospital birth, for the first time! I'm quite excited about packing a hospital bag though, in the same way as packing for a long-awaited exotic holiday! :) I always packed a bag just in case before, but it's different KNOWING it will be used for what it's intended. I have yet to make a list of things to pack though. I think I will try and get it all packed and ready for 37 weeks this time. I can't remember when I had it done the other times.
Okay, definitely waffling now, and neeeed to go to bed - I'm so so so tired lately. It's just getting to be exhausting just to sit or move about, and I get lightheaded with exhaustion easily, and just feel DONE IN half the time! I'm soooooo blessed to have Neil home to do a lot of stuff with the boys. I have no. idea. how on earth I'd manage without him. I still can't fathom how on earth I managed the first trimester with Neil working and my little energetic monkey boys and morning sickness! It's so nice how it all fades into not-so-clear memory just weeks/months afterwards, like the pain of labour :) I really can't remember how bad it was, or how I managed the days, etc. I can't remember the sick feeling exactly, either. I'm so GLAD! It was sucky. But worthwhile :)
Anyway, I am tired tired tired these days. Sometimes I am beginning to feel tired just thinking of how many weeks left to go. Only six, but it feels like, SIX?! As many weeks as all that?! How am I going to continue to heave my hugeness around for six more weeks?! And I'll be getting bigger and more tired all the time, not to mention more hormonal. I have been blessed with very little hormonal moodiness this pregnancy, which is pretty good. I know it might kick in big time near the very end though - that was a very hormonal time for me last pregnancy. And then after Nathan is here.... I'm a bit nervous about how my hormones will treat me. My midwife says I had mild postnatal depression the other two times. I was definitely aware of it, and all was peachy again just as soon as my body remembered its reproductive function and started ovulating again! Thankfully that happens for me by 6 months postpartum, breastfeeding or not, but those 6 months are really quite hard to manage for me, emotionally. I am thinking there is no reason for it to be any different this time, so I'm desperately trying to think of ways to make life as easy as possible for myself in those first 6 months. Right now I can't think of ANY! So I'm slightly anxious! Especially with Arthur's difficult behaviour at the moment - that would just tip me RIGHT over the edge if I was also postnatally depressed and trying to juggle 3 little ones under 4. I so hope I will do okay. We were going to get home help to clean and stuff, but we won't be able to afford it. I will try to call in help where I can, and just hope it will be okay! And try to keep up with my FlyLady stuff a bit too, as that will give me a real sense of achievement and also keep the house vaguely ordered maybe? I don't know.
Definitely going to bed now! Back with a 34 week belly pic as soon as Neil takes one - I know I've said that before and ended up not taking one, but Neil says he feels bad that we're missing photos this pregnancy, so we'll try to make sure we don't miss any more! He doesn't seem that "attached" to the baby this pregnancy. Each pregnancy he does less and less of things like spending time with his hand on my tummy to feel movements, talking about the baby, etc. I asked him about it last week as it was making me feel kind of sad. He said he hadn't noticed he was doing any less than before till I pointed it out. He said maybe he was not wanting to draw too much attention to my bump with the boys around because they might get funny about it. Which, what?! Better to show affection and excitement for the impending baby NOW than drop them in at the deep end once he's here! And also, he was equally uninterested once the boys were in bed for the night, so I don't buy that one.
He said maybe he just feels squeamish about baby kicks - he does, he told me this the other pregnancies too. He just finds it weird to see or feel another little person squirming inside me! But that didn't stop him bonding aplenty with Arthur during my pregnancy with him, laying his hand on my tummy for AGES, kissing my belly, etc. He hasn't done any of that this pregnancy - well, I have ASKED him to feel Nathan hiccuping and moving lots of times, and he will come over and put his hand where I tell him, but he's off again within 30 seconds. He never sticks around for long. He seems to say all the right things and be enthusiastic while he's feeling the baby move, but it's like he's bored of that or wanting to get back to his annoying violent TV programme or whatever, moments afterwards.
Anyway. He's a sweet husband :) Since I talked to him about it, I have noticed he asks me about how Nathan's doing in there more. I think he's doing it to make me feel better, which is the sweetest thing :) But I wish he just WANTED to spend time focusing on Nathan like he did with Arthur, or felt INTERESTED in feeling him move or hiccup. It's different for men, I know. Women are the lucky ones! For the hard parts we have to deal with, we also get the precious parts - bonding with the baby before it's even born, and feeling all those lovely things like kicks and rolls and hiccups. I wouldn't be a man for ANYTHING! :)
And now I AM going to bed! ;)
Oh but I forgot, Nathan's lungs are now "officially" mature, although he still might struggle if born now. Many babies don't though, and 34 weeks is also the cut-off for when they will no longer stop labour if it starts! The babycenter stats say that he is now going on 18 inches long (sooooo close to what Matthew was at birth now - 19.5 inches), and heading for 5lbs in weight! The first baby in my Feb due dates group has been born, on Christmas Day! He was born at 34 weeks exactly, and weighed 5lbs 4oz. He needed breathing help, but is doing well. So I know Nathan is really getting to be ready for the outside world pretty soon, and that's so exciting! And surreal. And amazing.
And now I am really going to bed :)
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