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2004-09-17 - 5.54pm��previous entry��next entry
33 weeks!! - lists and dizziness and dreams
Thirty-three weeks pregnant already!!! How is this really happening?! I feel like an awed spectator just sitting back and watching the whole process with my eyes popping out of my head with amazement!! Seriously, it�s too amazing and surreal. Arthur is so much like a newborn baby now, I can tell more clearly with each passing day even. My belly is newborn-shaped (!), and his size is getting pretty close to a newborn�s too. When he squirms and moves his limbs, I can see them and they look pretty newborn-sized to me through my belly. I can tell his body parts when he pushes them out, which ones they are and all that. I have a real baby in there. And he�s coming out. To be a real baby in my arms. Soon! MY baby in my arms. Which is just out-of-this-world crazy. I can�t believe it! I�m so excited that it�s happening to ME, to us!! :)
Arthur is now (on average of course) 17.2 inches long, wow! He weighs approximately 4lbs 5oz. He is getting to be a big boy. A few more ounces and he would fit his newborn Kissaluv nappies and the smaller of his clothes in tiny baby size. That is just amazing. To think that he is almost ready for some of the stuff we have waiting for him. Most of the tiny newborn stuff fits from 5lbs, so he�s nearly there! He is putting on mostly body fat at the moment, and that is making him look nice and chubby like a newborn, and his skin is a lot pinker now and not transparent anymore, because of his new fat deposits.
He can almost reach my ribs, but not quite. He seems to be much higher up my torso than even just a few days ago � not his position, but rather his length seems to make him fill more space and come up higher than before. It�s odd how it seems like he has suddenly grown a LOT in this past week, much more than in the weeks before that. I am still carrying low, but then I do have a really tall torso (I am always the tallest person sitting at a table, no matter how many other people are there, or how tall they might be! I am taller than most of my friends who are around 6ft when we�re all sitting down, and I�m only 5ft 3 or 4ish!). I think he can�t help but look like he is low if my body is really long. I�m kind of glad because soooo many of my buddy groups are full of people who are tired of getting kicked in the ribs all the time! He can kick my floating rib now on my right side, but he rarely bothers � most of his kicks are more out to my side than directly upwards. Having just said that though � wouldn�t you know?! � just as I was writing that last sentence Arthur pushed his foot right up and it put pressure on my ribs on the right side. He doesn�t kick forcefully (thankfully!) but any pressure on my ribs from his foot is quite painful and makes me immediately arch my back instinctively, just to get my rib away from his foot! It isn�t comfy. But I�m glad he has enough room without being jammed into my ribcage. I know I may still have that joy to come over the next couple of weeks, but then he may engage in my pelvis after that so that should ease the pressure on my ribs.
But then again, he also does seem to be sitting low in my womb, because I know my womb comes up almost to my ribcage, and he doesn�t use much of that top portion at all! I am much more restricted now in things I can and can�t do. I can�t bend over my bump very far at all now. It�s a huge ordeal to put shoes or socks on my feet, and I�m so tired and breathless all the time anyway, the slightest task like that has me absolutely wiped out and breathing heavily! Especially tasks that involve bending over my bump in any way. I can�t pick things up off the floor unless I squat and even then the object has to be right down by my hand so that I can keep my back straight and not bend forward to pick it up, even from squatting. Neil puts my shoes and socks on if we go anywhere, but I CAN put them on myself, it�s just a huge exhausting thing! So he does it if he�s here :) I feel bad always having to point to things on the floor and ask him to get me this and that and the other!
The biggest problem for me at the moment is tiredness and breathlessness. And that dizziness I had on Sunday? I had it again on Thursday (yesterday), really badly. It�s more than dizziness � I looked it up online, it�s actually vertigo, where the whole room swings crazily even if I keep myself really still. I find it really uncomfy and disconcerting, I don�t like the feeling at all. I actually woke up on Thursday morning and turned over in bed (with my eyes closed) and felt the room swinging around as I rolled over, so that�s not good. It also rules out tiredness as a cause, since I had just woken up from a night�s sleep. Not the best night�s sleep, but still. We had to miss the very last antenatal class last night because I was just feeling knackered and dizzy and not up to going. When I phoned the class instructor she said she would post us the handouts and I could always call her and arrange to meet up with her to help with writing my birth plan, which is soooo nice of her! She said I should see a doctor incase the dizziness is something that can be fixed.
So today I went to the doctor. I felt okay today though, except I did come over dizzy in the waiting room after I�d been waiting about 15 minutes, even just sitting in a chair. Then I got called in by the doctor and I told her my symptoms and she took my blood pressure (which I�ve been doing a LOT lately!) and it was fine, as it always is. She took my pulse for aaaages and then asked if I had been running to get to my appointment. I said no, because I had been sitting in the waiting room for 15 minutes! So she looked all worried and took me into another room and had me undress, and she hooked me up to an ECG machine and did a trace of my heart. I was kind of nervous because she didn�t really say why and I never had to have an ECG before so I wondered why she was doing it. But afterwards she said the trace was perfectly normal, and that my pulse was over 100 and a bit racy, and she wanted to be sure my heart was okay because my pulse shouldn�t really be racing like that at rest. I told her I feel out of breath most of the time now, and the slightest exertion like getting up and walking across the room makes me breathless and my heart races like I ran up the stairs or something. She said she didn�t think I should worry about the dizzy spells. She said it could be due to sudden momentary changes in my blood pressure which is apparently increasingly common towards the birth. She said to lie on my left side if I lie down, and to drink plenty and rest up as much as possible.
I asked her if I might be anaemic, since in my mind I have pretty much eliminated everything else, and despite the fab haemoglobin count from a few weeks ago, I could well be anaemic by now, because this stage of pregnancy can just make that happen, and also because I have had a lot of bleeding from my nose in that time. Not recently, but man did I have a lot of bleeding when my nose bled for 15 hours without stopping (!) that one time. I know it wasn�t always heavy, but sometimes it really did pour. So I think it�s a definite possibility. The doctor just said yes it�s possible, because anaemia can cause tiredness, breathlessness, weakness and dizziness (which pretty much sums me up all day every day at the moment!), but that she saw I was having an antenatal appointment next Thursday with the midwife � my 34 week appointment, and that�s the appointment where they routinely take blood to check all that stuff anyway. So she just said they�ll check it then. I would have preferred if she had checked NOW so that I could at least know and get some iron supplements prescribed if they are necessary, but oh well. I have started back on my prenatal vitamins with iron, and I am making sure I eat plenty of red meat and dark chocolate (mmm!) and green vegetables, and iron fortified cereal every day. I even had a half glass of red wine last night with dinner. I have occasionally had a half glass of red wine here and there throughout my pregnancy � well, except the first trimester � because I really don�t think that does any harm, and also red wine is high in iron and other good stuff. I never used to drink more than half a glass of wine at a time anyway before I was pregnant. So I�m doing the best I can as far as dietary iron is concerned, but I know that if I�m truly anaemic then my diet won�t fix the problem on its own. So I will just have to take it reeeally easy in the meantime and lie down when I get dizzy. The annoying thing is, when I get proper swinging vertigo, it lasts for hoooours. Like half a day. So I hate having to lie down all that time. Neil says maybe it�s for the best, because my body obviously needs the rest anyway.
So I haven�t done much really, because I have been so tired and so on this week. My friend Mary came round yesterday � fortunately in the afternoon when my dizziness was not so bad! She stayed 3 hours in the end and it was great to have her round. Mary was one of my close friends at school, we were really good friends when we were 11-14, that kind of age. Anyway she is pregnant too � due 4 weeks before me � and I haven�t seen her since my wedding day! And before that since school 12 years ago (wow, has it been that long?!!). So it was great to catch up. It was just like old times, and it was so much fun having pregnancy in common to yak on about for hours without worrying about boring the other person!! She is expecting a boy too :) By the time she left I was getting really dizzy again so the timing was quite good really for her visit.
Neil is being so wonderful to me lately. He takes care of me amazingly. He is so loving and kind! Yesterday I phoned him at work in the morning because the room was spinning and I was scared, and he said to go to bed and lie still. I didn�t know how I would get the house ready for Mary to come round � I didn�t mind too much about the clutter but the kitchen and bathroom were seriously unhygienic! How embarrassing that we live like this! Hehe! Anyway I couldn�t call Mary because we had arranged the date via email and I didn�t have her phone number. So I couldn�t cancel at such a late stage because she probably wouldn�t check her email again before leaving. So Neil said to just go to bed, and then the next thing I knew he was home, on his lunchbreak, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom with just enough time to spare to grab a sandwich and get back to work again! He is just amazing. He is always thinking of me, and doing these amazing things without me even suggesting that he does them or anything. Not that I even WOULD have suggested he come home on his lunchbreak to clean the house! I was amazed that he did. I feel so bad because he shouldn�t be having anything extra on his plate, but he just keeps on doing stuff that�s waaaay above and beyond the call of duty! He�s just the most wonderful husband. He is tired too. I wish I was better at looking after him. He looks after me so well, and I am just pooped all the time and these days I feel completely useless and huge and like I�m not being a great wife, etc. I don�t get myself too down about it, but I do just wish I could be doing stuff for him like he does stuff for me. I hate to see him bend over backwards to help me out and then see how tired he is and not be able to do much for him :( He�s so lovely. I love him. I am so blessed.
I am also more emotional lately. My moods are kind of swingy, and sometimes I�ll just sit down and stare at the floor for a few moments, and when Neil asks what�s up, all I can think of to say is, �I feel sad� because I do feel sad, but it�s like�. there�s nothing I�m actually sad ABOUT. No reason at all. I just feel like I�m sad about something, but about nothing. Weird. It�s just a physical feeling almost. I am feeling like I want to be held and cuddled a lot more this week, just for comfort. And I am weepy fairly easily. If Neil and I argue about something (which we still do from time to time, we are not as syrupy as I make us sound sometimes!!) then normally I would just feel snappy and cross, but this week even if the argument dissolves and whatever small issue it was about is resolved, I seem to have this heavy feeling and I get all, urgh, I don�t know, silly. And I cry and when Neil asks what exactly I�m crying about, I can�t think of why. I just wail about how there was a bad aaaiiir (sob sob!) when we were arguing and I hate it when we disagree about anything because being at loggerheads over something makes me feel like we have some distance between us and I hate not feeling cloooosse (sob, sigh!) to Neil because I love him. *sigh* He is so good about it though. He just cuddles me and reassures me that my hormones are pretty huge by now, so things are going to feel overwhelming when they normally wouldn�t. Isn�t he the greatest?!! :)
We have our NEW new car (!) now. It�s big and scary, and I feel sure I�ll never be able to drive it! But I have to, because next week I need to drive it to my appointment with the midwife. Yikes! Neil is going to take me driving in it this weekend so I can get used to it. But I still think there�s noooo way I can drive that car. It�s too big and scary and space-agey!! We took the other car back today. They haven�t given us our money back yet, but I am hoping they are not playing us about and will give it back before the week is out. We are overdrawn in the bank which is not great, so we really need the money back on this car now!
I have started washing Arthur�s things!!! I have been so impatient to do that for weeks now, and I kept thinking, �It�s still too early, it�s still too early�� so I waited and waited, and now I think it�s finally close enough to the birth to start washing some things! I am doing his nappies first, then his clothes, and finally his Moses basket bedding. I don�t want the bedding to get too dusty between washing it and when he is actually here to use it. The nappies don�t matter so much so I�m starting with them. This week I have washed all his white and unbleached newborn size nappies � the kissaluvs and the ones I have made for him, and the size 0 Tots Bots (very cute!) and his 3 white Proraps. They took a LONG time to tumble dry, so hmmm. I need to learn more about how many I can tumble dry in one load, because maybe I just put too many in there together. And then I washed his coloured kissaluvs, and the coloured prefolds and flat squares and a couple of coloured fitted newborn nappies I have made him. And then tumble dried them in two lots, which worked better. I can�t tell you how EXCITING it is to see little tiny cloth nappies around the house, all laundry-fresh and soft and ready for my little boy�s bottom in just a few short weeks!!! It�s sooooo exciting! I have a fleece load to do next, because he has quite a few newborn nappies made from fleece, and you�re supposed to only wash fleece with fleece if you don�t want it to get all pilly and linty. And then that�s it! I will wash his size 1 nappies at a later time. He won�t be in the newborn ones for long, but I don�t need to wash the next size up just yet. I can�t wait to wash his clothes! I can�t wait to see little tiny clothes drying on my radiators and filling my laundry basket! It makes it all seem so real.
I also boxed up his clothes in the bigger sizes (from the 3-6 month size up to the 9-12 months stuff) to put away for later. I am going to box up the 0-3 month stuff too but only store it in the cupboard in the bedroom, because he�ll be in those clothes before we know it and I don�t want them too �put away�. But for now he has tiny baby size (up to 7.5lbs) and newborn size (up to 10lbs) in his wardrobe. He has waaay enough clothes! They are all so cute! I can�t wait to dress him in them. He is going to look just edible and scrumptious! :)
We have a huge list of things we still need to do before the baby is here. Some of it is probably a tad ambitious (!), but it�s on the list anyway, because I can�t relax unless it�s listed! Hehe! Lists are boring for anyone but the list-maker, but here�s the countdown-to-birth list anyway!...
� Finish all painting in the house (lots of half-finished rooms!)
* Fill the hole in the bathroom doorframe and paint (!)
* Replace light switches
* Finish bedroom doors (they are on the hinges but don�t fit the frames (d�oh!) and two don�t have doorknobs yet!
* Lay new kitchen floor (or pick one out and get it fitted)
* Fit baby wardrobe with shelves (nearly done on this one!)
* Sort and put away all baby clothes (nearly there!)
* Make birth announcements (have the cards ready but need to decorate them)
* Fit car seat (this needs doing again in the new car)
* Sort our clothes for a charity clearout
* Buy remaining items on baby list
* Finalize birth plan
* Attend antenatal classes (oooh I can check this one off!)
* Buy birth pool (hmmm, yeah, need to know what�s going on with my nose really�)
* Get all homebirth accessories (not till after my 36 week appointment)
* Pack hospital bag (back-up which I have nooo intention of using!)
* Wash baby clothes and bedding
* Wash all newborn nappies and wraps (nearly done here!)
* Set up Moses basket in our bedroom (much later on!)
* Buy all Christmas presents and cards (because it makes sense to do it BEFORE Arthur�s here!)
* Find a bulb for my childhood nightlight (we�ll be using that till I�m more used to nighttime breastfeeding in the dark!)
* Buy nursing bras (later)
* Make more maternity pads (have made 3 cloth pads so far, and I plan to have 20 altogether, plus some disposable ones incase the cloth method is just yucksome!)
* Clear freezer and re-stock with easy meals for after the birth
* Change doctors
* Sell or get someone to tow the ollllld car we have sitting on our driveway which doesn�t run anymore!
* Prepare (clean and disinfect) nappy buckets and buy/make PUL bucket liners
* Hire or buy a TENS machine
And that�s the list!! I don�t know if we�ll get through it all but we�ll try. Again I feel bad that lots of it will be left for Neil to have to do, because I am just not up to doing half the stuff on it now. I will do all the laundry though, and sorting things, and clean the buckets and stuff. Things I can work through gradually I will do.
Urgh this entry is long now! I�m not sure what else I wanted to say� Oh Arthur is getting stronger all the time!! He can push his feet out so hard now that I can just about take hold of one inbetween my finger and thumb and wiggle it!! It�s the cutest thing! :) He doesn�t seem to mind at all. He is still getting hiccups at least 3 times a day � he has had three bouts today and it�s not even the evening yet! I can feel the �hic� and the �up� so clearly now.
I had the weirdest dream the other night. Arthur was being born and he was a tiny little mouse with a pointy face and beady eyes! He was so cute. He was all pink and bald like baby mice are. He was being born through a hole in the ground on a patch of grass, and Neil and I were watching him come through. Once his head was born we knew he needed to take his time for his body to be born, and we didn�t want the process rushed. There was a midwife there who had agreed with us to let Arthur be born in his own time, but at that moment she suddenly changed her mind and kept reaching for his head to pull him out of the ground. I can�t explain the feelings that came over me in the dream, they were sooo powerfully strong! I kept saying NO louder and louder, but she still reached for him, so I started pushing her hands away with my own. Eventually I was so angry at this midwife, and she became like this huge monsterous threat to my precious child, so I cupped my hands over the earth where Arthur�s little head was protruding to protect him, and when the midwife advanced on me, I yelled to Neil to cover Arthur (which he did) while I tackled the midwife! The dream got soooo violent, and I never have violent dreams, and I hate violence of any sort. I beat the midwife up with my fists, but she pulled a knife on me, and I snatched it from her and um, cut her in half through her torso. She bled to death. It was gory. Such a weird dream!! But we saved Arthur and then he opened his eyes and I was overwhelmed with love for him when I saw him peer at me for the first time, and then he was born just as we�d hoped he would be, in his own time.
Then I got my pregnancy update for 33 weeks and it had a link to a thing about 3rd trimester dreams, and guess what I read?!!....
"The whole issue of taking action in nightmares is extremely important, especially to the pregnant woman, for whom a more active stance may be connected with shorter and easier labour."
"Taking charge, having confidence in herself, and being in command may help a woman to cope with the job of giving birth to a child. If you are a pregnant woman who finds herself being threatened in a nightmare, you may find that instead of letting yourself be victimised, assertively reacting to the situation will make a profound difference. Not only will you feel better about your nightmare, you may actually help make your labour shorter and easier. When short- and long-labour groups were asked about how assertive they were during nightmares, researchers found that there was a strong connection between the dream content and the length of labour. Among the women who had short labour, 94 per cent had been assertive in at least one of their nightmares. Among the women who had long labours, only 30 per cent had been assertive, whereas the remaining 70 per cent allowed themselves to be victimised."
Wow! So I am hoping that dream is a good sign that I�ll be in control of my labour and that it will therefore go well! I hope. But we�ll just have to wait and see.
Okay that is definitely enough of an entry for today! I did sew another Cuddlebuns diaper but I will show it to you another time. My ribs are doing that nice achy thing that says I have been sitting in this chair typing for long enough! So I will finish for now. Still behind on emails, so bear with me! :) Thank you for the guestbook entries, and to Lisa for the good breastfeeding advice! :) I�ll update again soon!
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