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2005-10-19 - 10.09pm��previous entry��next entry
7 weeks pregnant, yay!!
Just a quick entry, mainly to say - YAY, I'm 7 weeks pregnant!!!! I am sooooo pleased to have "graduated" week six. Both pregnancies that has been a rough rough week. Hence no updates since the beginning of it! Ugh, I have felt sooooooooo sick. So very sick. Thank goodness I have not thrown up. Though I have paced about one evening, way too nauseated to sit still for a second. I am like that with nausea. Just have to keep moving when it gets bad enough. Ugh. It has been so hard to eat. I am so proud that I have managed to do it anyway and I haven't missed a meal. I don't think I have managed my normal sized portions though, especially in the evenings.
Anyway, I am so glad to be 7 weeks pregnant! Last pregnancy, it was better from 7 weeks. Still awful with the nausea, but nothing compared with week 6. This exact day on my last pregnancy, I had stopped eating and drinking because I just couldn't swallow anything down, and they told me if I didn't start getting something down I would be hospitalized the next day. Yikes. So after I managed to eat and drink stuff, things got better. But that is different to this time, because I am already managing to keep eating and drinking. It's sooooooo hard sometimes.
Well, this is the exact gestation that I had a scan last pregnancy and saw my tiny Arthur-bean for the first time! He measured 6w4d at 7 weeks exactly (they were wrong though, heh). Tomorrow morning I have my first scan this pregnancy. I have lots of feelings about it now.
I know it's probably stoopid of me, because of how yeurghy I've been feeling, but I am kind of nervous in case something is wrong. I have had only one tiny incident of brown spotting this week, but barely any, and only the once. CM has increased this week, which feels more normal to me somehow! That was one of my weirdo symptoms this pregnancy - hardly any CM from conception onwards, very different to last pregnancy. I remember last pregnancy I started to get a LOT of CM from about 8 weeks, for the rest of the pregnancy. Which is normal for pregnancy. So I wondered when that might happen this time. Anyway I think it's getting back to normal now so that's good.
BUT, I am nervous today because I am managing a little better with the morning sickness. I know I am still nauseous at times, but it's so much more manageable, and I am able to eat a little more in one sitting. And drink in gulps now and then instead of sips. And it has been SOOOOO incredibly sore to nurse Arthur this week, but today it is slightly less excruciating. Still sore though, but just that bit less, exactly like the morning sickness. And another thing that worries me today is that I am SURE Arthur is getting more milk today than previously. He has been gulping for much longer when the milk lets down. Much longer than even yesterday. So why should that be, and is it just a coincidence that all these things are marginally better all in one go? Anyway I know it's probably silly because the symptoms are all still THERE, though a little less, but it makes me really nervous.
At least I have a scan tomorrow, but now I'm scared something will be wrong. Or there'll be things that point to the pregnancy starting to decline. Before today's worries, I was just hoping to see a pregnancy in my womb, not my tubes (first anxiety eliminated!), then a baby in the gestational sac, and not a blighted ovum (second anxiety!), and then after all that, to see normal things on my baby, in terms of growth and heartrate, etc. I'm so nervous now. I know I have little reason to be, but blah. I just am anyway. I can't wait to just get the waiting part over with, and be in there about to find out any second.
I'm sort of glad that I have been there before, last time. Now I know exactly what to expect. I know the waiting area, and where to go. I know the form I have to fill in when I get there, and that we might have to wait FORTY-FIVE minutes if it's anything like last time! I know it's a trans-vaginal ultrasound so at least that won't be a surprise, hehe! I don't care about that anyway, these things don't bother me. I know the procedure and the fact that I see a doctor (or midwife) afterwards to be discharged or to have a follow-up booked. If everything is normal I will be discharged though, definitely no follow-up.
I can't believe that this time we will be sitting in those same seats in the waiting area, almost like we're back a year and a half ago, but one of us will be holding our precious little boy who we thought we were there to confirm lost last time. I am going to be sure to hug him extra close to me while we wait. I think it will be an emotional moment for me. Neil too, probably. I just hope SO much that we come out with wonderful news and a feeling of being a family of four (almost!) somehow, for the first time. Neil and I still both feel like this pregnancy hasn't really sunk in yet. I think we both need to see the evidence, hehe! It's so weird for me to even think like that, given that I FEEL the pregnancy so obviously with my morning sickness and stuff. But I'm so focused on Arthur. There doesn't seem much to focus on yet in comparison with him. I hope that's not bad of me to say.
Okay. Assuming (hopefully) that all is well, Sprout has grown tremendously this week! He/she now measures a full centimetre in length from crown to rump, and has little paddles for legs, and arms/hands that are a little more developed. Sprout's arms have a wrist! Also they have visible finger "rays" forming, though they still look like little webbed paddles. Sprout has eye pigment, so the eyes are clearly visible now. The liver is well developed enough to have a well established blood supply and circulation. It's the biggest body organ, next to the heart. Sprout's average heartrate at this gestation is 143 beats per minute! Tomorrow I will be asking what Sprout's measurements are, so that I can tell for myself how far behind or ahead he/she is measuring for dates. I sort of don't expect him/her to measure right on target, since it seems pretty common for things to be off by a few days at this stage, even with a definite conception/ovulation date (like I had last time). Last time they couldn't tell me the heartrate, but I'll ask again this time. I hope they will let me have a picture so I can post it here. The other times I had early scans, they were a bit iffy about giving me one when I asked, and said they don't normally do that, etc. So maybe they'll say no? But I'll do my best begging ;)
Oh I just hope everything is okay. I know I'm only 7 weeks pregnant but somehow it is starting to feel like I've come so far already. Please God let everything be okay.
I have lots to say about other things, but no time. I haven't been online more than one or two brief occasions this week, as I have felt sick a lot. Evenings have been so green and awful that I have just had to eat what I could immediately after putting Arthur to bed, then brush my teeth and go to bed. It always takes me at least 2 hours to fall asleep these days, tsk! But it's better than sitting up and getting overwhelmingly nauseous. It's a little more bearable in bed, and obviously marvellous while I'm unconscious, hehe!
Also we are giving night-weaning a break. I have come to the conclusion that Arthur is not ready. He is so clingy and wants to nurse all the time, and at night instead of going from sleepy-vocal to complainy to crying, he goes to full-on distraught crying the instant he wakes, and sits up as fast as he can at the end of the bed, calling "Mama! Mamaaa!" between sobs :( Poor baby. It's like he knows I might not come to him when he calls and I can't do that to him anymore. It's obvious that he's not ready, so tired or not, I will give him some more time. He sometimes wakes every 2-3 hours, but sometimes he goes from 1am to 6am, which is a vast improvement. I know he may go back to more frequent wakings with me nursing him on demand at night, but that will just have to be. I thought about it a lot, and his needs are higher than mine in this for now. Anyway, so early bedtimes help in that dept too! I am still tired in the day, but I'm surprised at how not-that-tired I am for a pregnant person. I don't remember crippling tiredness from my first pregnancy either though, even though I kept reading how I should be overwhelmed by it by now, etc! So that is a good thing for me. Although it might be that I am kind of conditioned to being knackered with all the sleep deprivation since Arthur was born?! Anyway that might help too.
But my point was going to be that my only online time has had to go - the evening - so I can hide from my "evening" sickness and hope to get a little more sleep. Tonight I am feeling a bit better (bit scary) so here I am updating. I wanted to update for 7 weeks in any case, so I'm glad I got to write a long-ish entry!
I want to update my other diary too, but no can do at the moment. I miss my favourite diaries!!! I wish so much that I could chill out catching up on things in the evenings, but I just have to wait this out and then I'll feel better and be able to do that stuff again!
Oh I meant to write stuff about how my food likes and dislikes are swinging around like crazy! All those things that helped last time I wrote are YUCK foods that need to be out of sight as well as out of my mouth these days! Crazy! I can't bear raisins, crackers and dairy at the moment, though I am still drinking a little milk. Cottage cheese = yucko. Sweetcorn is still okay though. White crusty bread is my thing at the moment, with just butter. I don't care much for Marmite at the moment, and normally this would upset me as I have been a marmite-a-holic since toddlerhood! But I just don't want to think about it much, so I don't care! I do still have some on toast for breakfast if it's not too horrid to contemplate! I hate anything else on toast, so it has to be marmite or nothing (and that's my normal thing, not just because I'm pregnant!). So I have had hot buttered toast a lot lately. Pickles aren't good at the moment either. Though I would still like to eat a bag of pickled onion flavour Monster Munch. And I LONG for a roast dinner. Mmmm....
I have heartburn a LOT, and the worst thing seems to be awful IBS. It's weird because before I got pregnant with Arthur, I had hideous IBS which affected me very badly every day for like five years or something (drugs and diet changes made no difference for me), but it got soooooo much better with my pregnancy with Arthur! It never even went back to its previous horridness after Arthur was born! Until I got pregnant again. Ugh. Now it is worse than I ever remember it from before Arthur. Ever. Neil says I should see the doctor about it, but what can they do? I already know nothing works for me, and I can't take drugs for it in pregnancy (or while breastfeeding for that matter) anyway. My doctor thinks I should take fybogel (bleeuurrgghhh!!) but I already know that makes my IBS soooooooo much worse, so I won't be doing that if they suggest that this time! But I am in so much pain every night, and today and yesterday it has lasted all day. Last night it kept me awake a lot. My whole abdomen feels kicked and bruised and crampy and hurty. I have bowel spasms that hurt me so much I get frightened and my voice goes all high and I have to hold Neil's hand till they pass. Then I get diarrhoea and feel grim. It's just horrid, I hate it. Usually that would be what I would call a bad attack and it would happen maybe once every couple of months or something. Maybe even less. My usual symptoms would be constant dragging tummy aches and bloating and constipation. Nice! But way more manageable from day to day. This week I have had the nasty type (spasms, diarrhoea) every evening. I get so that I dread it. I don't know why it's so bad this pregnancy and not the last one? Or if it will clear up soon? I hope it won't last the whole pregnancy. I don't know how I'd manage that. But I guess I just would if it did.
Anyway, those are my weird symptoms this week! I am sooooooo bloated. But that's normal, IBS or not, and it doesn't bother me. Neil has a cold - he started it yesterday. I remember last pregnancy my immune system sucked and I got some really nasty colds and things even though it wasn't the season for it. So I kind of expect that I'll probably get this cold. I hope it will be mild though! And hopefully Arthur will avoid it too. Neil is not too sick with it so that's good. Maybe it's just a mild cold? I am taking extra vitamin C :)
Okay there's probably more but I need to go to bed now. I will try to update tomorrow to let you know about the scan. I hope I have good news and a picture. I really hope....
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