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2005-12-28 - 4.33pm��previous entry��next entry
17 weeks pregnant - gender dream and growth spurts
Back from my Christmas break with Neil's family! And I'm 17 weeks pregnant today!!! I have so little time to update and I want to update my main diary too. Neil is out with Arthur for maybe 20 minutes more so I'll just have to cram an entry into that time!
Thanks for the nice messages after my last entry, and all the comments on my new bump!!! :) Yay! I love that I have a bump now!
Ckb, I have NO idea how I have managed the tiredness with breastfeeding and Arthur waking through the night! In the end, time has just passed and somehow I'm still going so that's how I've "managed" (ie. I haven't, particularly!). Your friend's doctor is talking out of his bottom. I can't believe doctors spout such tosh to women who REALLY don't need the extra stress or guilt!! Your poor friend :( Breastfeeding while pregnant can in NO WAY cause a miscarriage. Some (stupid and not-up-with-the-latest-research) doctors still think that because nipple stimulation causes uterine contractions that start off labour at the end of pregnancy, then breastfeeding will cause the same contractions to occur at any old stage of pregnancy and thus a miscarriage will occur. First, this is crap. The latest research shows that this can't be so. Nipple stimulation (including breastfeeding) causes the release of the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is the trigger hormone (or one of them) for labour. HOWEVER, the uterus does not activate its oxytocin receptors till like the last few weeks of pregnancy (ie, term) so there is no way that hormone can have an effect on the uterine muscles. The exception is IF you have a history of preterm labour and in the second half of pregnancy you notice contractions while breastfeeding, you MAY want to discuss this with a non-stupid doctor and consider weaning. But that would be because in preterm labour, the womb is starting to activate all its do-dahs before time.
And secondly, the worst thing is that doctors are even telling women who have just miscarried while breastfeeding that it was the breastfeeding that did it. That just makes me so angry. I want to slap each and every doctor who says this to a poor love who has just gone through something this awful.
So, your friend did not have an ectopic pregnancy because of breastfeeding. Her doctor is dumb (the original word I typed was far more rude but yeah, dumb will do). Poor love. I HIGHLY recommend the wonderful book, "Adventures in Tandem Nursing - Breastfeeding through pregnancy and beyond" by Hilary Flower. Sooooo good, and well researched, and covers all of the stuff above and a lot more.
Tsk.
Also, while I'm het up and responding to guestbook messages, uh thanks (?!) "b" for your completely unnecessary guestbook message, which was obviously not meant to be a nice one, though it was disguised with a "congratulations on your pregnancy" thing - something you clearly knew, hence the anonymity. I am guessing you are jealous of something in my life, since in my experience most people who leave not-so-nice/supportive messages usually turn out to be so. I'm sorry about that for you. I know I am blessed and I'm grateful for everything God has given me. And all I have left to say about your message is, I would not say I am obsessed with my pregnancy. I would say I am very pregnancy-focused. The same as I am very Arthur-focused in my other diary. But you know what? Lucky Arthur and Sprout to have a mummy who is sooooo focused on them and so besotted with every little detail of their development that she comes across as "obsessed" to some! Some children aren't so blessed as to have mothers who do that. I would also not wish to be any less "focused" on them than I am now. At all. It's the most wonderful feeling, the most rewarding, fun, and exciting thing that has ever happened to me. So I'm sorry if that bugs you or you are jealous of it in some way, but yeah, I know it's good for my children and GOOD for me to be this focused on them! Your message bothered me when I first read it, I thought how rude it was and how it got under my skin. But then I was away for Christmas and I came back and figured I couldn't be bothered with something like that. But you know me :) I like to stand up for myself :) So there we are.
Please don't sign my guestbook if you haven't got anything nice to say, even if you cover it up with something that sounds nice to make you feel better.
Tsk. Again!
Ohhhhkay. On with the entry at last! :)
I will try to avoid writing about Christmas and the visit to family in this diary as it's not really pregnancy-related, and I want to write general stuff in my other diary. Let's see, what can I write about that's pregnancy based?
Sprout had a quiet patch over our trip to Neil's family. I get kicked a lot each night when I go to bed, but the night we got there I had no kicks or movements that I could feel at ALL. None the next day either, not even one little tap or squirm. I figured I was knackered from the journey and then distracted with people and being in a different place. But that night I had no kicks at all either, and the next day I had one little (hugely reassuring!) pop to my tummy. So I got the doppler out, which I took with me so that Neil's family could hear Sprout's heart beating, and everything was fine of course! Sprout's heart was beating away at 140-something, and they were all enthralled at the sound :) So I relaxed about it, but I didn't feel kicks that night either. The next day I had a few little bumples, and I was just standing in front of the highchair, putting Arthur's bib on for his lunch, when Neil said to me, "Wow, you really have a proper bump now!" and I looked down and sure enough I DID!!! It wasn't even the evening (when my bump seems to be bigger) either. I didn't pack any pre-pregnancy clothes, except for a huge jumper that would probably see me through most of my pregnancy anyway! I am in all maternity wear now, tops and all. I fit my smallest maternity jeans GREAT. It feels wonderful! :)
Anyway, we figured that Sprout might have been having a growth spurt. All of a sudden when Neil said that, there was this pause and then we both said, "Ahhh!" because we remembered that when I was pregnant with Arthur, he would often go really quiet for 3 or 4 days to coincide with a particularly fast time of growth. I always looked bigger after the few days had passed, and usually felt like Arthur was bigger too. So sure enough, Sprout started normal activity again that night, and during the evening I was laughing at The Two Ronnies Christmas Special on TV, and I took a huge breath in and at the peak of my breath, Sprout kicked me so hard that it HURT and all my breath got knocked back out with an "ooooff!" sound!! That is by far the hardest I ever got kicked by Sprout, and later that night in bed when Sprout was kicking, his/her feet definitely felt significantly larger against my tummy! So that must have been what it was :)
Most of Sprout's taps and kicks and punches make my tummy blip out visibly now. Neil STILL hasn't been able to feel them! I had hoped for more moments where he wasn't caught up with Arthur while I happened to be having a good bumpling moment with Sprout, while we were with his family, but then Sprout had a quiet patch for most of our visit so it didn't happen. Today I lay on the sofa and though Arthur was getting into all sorts of mischief at the time, Neil had a moment to lay his hand on my lil bump (which now still exists even when I lie flat on my back, yay!) and after a couple of minutes, Sprout kicked nice and hard, enough for my tummy to blip out, but it was JUST at the moment when Neil started to take his hand away to rescue Arthur from something! So he still hasn't felt Sprout. But soon, I'm sure. Sprout is getting more kicky and more feelable all the time :)
I had my first reeeally vivid baby gender dream the night before last. In my dream, we went for our big scan, and the midwife in the waiting room was telling me how the scan might cause a miscarriage so I was all worried and forgot to ask if they could tell us the baby's sex during the scan. Afterwards I went back and asked if they had made any record of it on the u/s report, so the receptionist looked for me and said, oh yes, it's a girl. I said, "Reeally?!!" but I saw the report actually said "boy" so I pointed this out, and she said, "Oh sorry, I meant boy." And that was the worst part of the dream because I was soooooooooooo disappointed, and hated that I was. I tried to pretend I wasn't, and acted really pleased in front of the receptionist. It was so weird.
After that I was in a baby shop and felt so sad that I couldn't go over to the girlie clothes that I had been eyeing up for a while and waiting to browse through till after my scan. The dream went on for AGES. Every time I woke up and resettled Arthur, I would fall back into that same dream. I got more settled with the idea of having another boy, but still it wasn't a happy dream.
When I woke up I felt really anxious that that is how I WILL feel if we find out Sprout is a boy at the scan. I REALLY don't want to find it disappointing, as it shouldn't be! It will be wonderful to have another boy, even though I know I am leaning somewhat towards girl at the moment. I just don't want to feel anything negative when I see my little one and learn what he or she is. The dream was so vivid that it seemed like actual reality, so it worried me, that's all.
The other thing it did, was make me feel convinced that I am really having a boy. I have had more of a feeling that Sprout is a girl for a few weeks now, despite wondering if we saw some boy bits at the 12 week scan. But now maybe that has been just wishful thinking, rather than a true vibe? I keep reading so much stuff about if you have a lot of EWCM then you are way more likely to have a boy. And I did, this time round. But I DIDN'T last time, with Arthur. Except we used Pre-Seed, so I guess that does stand in for the EWCM and prove it right. Hmmm.
I just want to know now! Either way, I don't care, I just really want to know one way or the other, so I can stop waffling around with silly dreams like this, put the girl names list away and banish thoughts of shopping for girlie clothes! Then I will feel a lot better! Or just to know that Sprout IS a girl would be great too, so that I have the go-ahead to stop wondering and actually start bonding with the idea of having a daughter. I really wish my scan was sooner! So many people in my due dates group are already finding out, as they are getting early scans at 17 weeks ish. Some have amniocentesis results that tell them the gender. Even the late June due dates are going to be finding out before me, because most of them in the States seem to be getting their gender scans at around 18 or 19 weeks, not 22 weeks like me! Roll on January 30th!!!! I can't wait. Only one month to go, well, one month and two days!
I noticed that although I had a girl vibe like CRAZY through my whole first trimester with Arthur, it changed after we thought we saw his boy bits at the 13 week scan, and ALL the dreams I had around this stage of pregnancy were of him being a boy, never girl dreams. So it does make me wonder whether at this stage my dreams will be more likely to reflect what sex Sprout actually IS. Although that could be tosh. I should try not to think about it!
I told you our name ideas around this stage with Arthur too, but of course I didn't say what we had chosen till after the big scan! So I will do that again. We have been kicking around a few girl and a few boy names, not really settling on any we prefer. For boys we are still wondering about Matthew and Charlie and a few others that come and go from our list. I noticed Matthew and Charlie were on our boy name list this time last pregnancy too. It's hard to find a boy name that "lives up to" Arthur's name. It has to go well with it, for us. We have been discovering that a LOT of more modern names don't go with Arthur at all, because Arthur is quite a dated name and needs similar names to really go with it. And they sort of need to be soft sounding too, I think. That's why so far we like Matthew best I think, but it's soooooooooooooo popular. The UK list of 100 most popular names for 2005 just came out and it was interesting to see that Matthew has had its biggest drop in years. So maybe that helps. But I still think our child would go through school life as Matthew K, which would bug me if I were him, and I kind of wanted something a little more unique for Sprout. Arthur is still not even on the top 100 list for boys names! :)
Benjamin is another possibility, but again it is very popular and at the baby clinic a couple of weeks ago, there were 5 babies in the waiting room (including Arthur) and two of them were Benjamins. So that put me off. We do think of others from time to time, so I don't know that we'll end up choosing from the above names when it comes to it. If we find a suitable boys name that we like that isn't so popular but that goes with Arthur and our surname, we'll use it! The middle name will be Gerrard, after Neil's dad. That is a definite.
For girls we have had Ruby on the list but then TWO Ruby's were born in the last few months at one of my online pregnancy groups, so that put me off. It's definitely on the rise on the top 100 list. Also I'm not 100% sure it's the right name for Sprout anyway. We have also been toying with the idea of Sophie, Georgia (again, I am back "on" it, thought Neil isn't crazy about it still), Maisie and Holly. Again, we aren't 100% sure about any of those names and can't settle with any of them, so if we find another name that just fits us nicely then we'll use it. We just can't seem to come across the names, no matter how I search the internet and the baby name books! I think we've seen ALL the names we could be interested in, but we still can't find one that jumps out at us like Arthur's did. We were most keen on Sophie because it's soft-sounding and pretty, and went wonderfully with Arthur, our surname, and the middle name Jane (my mum's name, our chosen middle name for a girl). But we knew it was very popular. Now that the name lists have been released, we have found it has jumped up to number THREE on the girls name list, so yeah, we are kind of put off by that. Tsk!
We will keep looking. I don't know if the name we'll actually use for Sprout (either sex) is one I have listed even. But I hope we are able to get a small shortlist of names ready for both sexes, for when we go to the scan. That way we are most likely to choose a name for Sprout at the scan and stick to it and use it from then on, which we like the idea of doing, the way we did with Arthur. But at this rate we won't have the names ready! Anyway we are working on it. I won't be telling the actual choice till I tell you whether Sprout is a boy or a girl! :)
Sprout is growing fantabulously! He/she now measures 13cm, or 5.1 inches from crown to rump, and about 8.5 inches from head to toe!!!!!!!!!! Wowee. Sprout weighs approximately 5oz, or 140g. Apparently, all of Sprout's structures are complete and no new ones are formed from this point!!! It's all about reaching viability and growth now for Sprout. Grow Sprout, grow!! Sprout's eyes and ears are in their final positions at last, and Sprout has developed reflexes in the eyes, such as blinking. Rapid eye movement also develops around now. Meconium is beginning to accumulate in the bowel. How amazing that it's already there, and yet it will be MONTHS before I finally see it on a cute lil cloth nappy, hehe :)
Sprout and his/her placenta are now the same size! Wow, that makes me realise that I have a BIG placenta in there already! I am always so proud of my placentas :)
I need to do my Kegels exercises more. I do sometimes, but mostly I forget. Yesterday I had a mini incident of "pee when you didn't really mean to". Not a lot but enough to make me freak out and promise to work on my Kegels from now on, haha!
Okay my time is up. I will try to update at 18 weeks. We are flying home from France the day I turn 18 weeks, so hopefully I'll have the energy at the end of the day to update with the 18 week belly pic! I am so excited for January to come! Scan in Jan, scan in Jan, scan in Jaaaaaaaaaaan!!! :D
Happy New Year everyone! I will update when we're home again :)
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