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2007-06-09 - 1.14am��previous entry��next entry
4 weeks, 4 days pregnant - 18DPO, yay!
Here I am! It's after ONE in the morning but who cares, it's weekend and bless my wonderful husband - I will get a lie-in in the morning :) And I'm sooooo behind on my diaries so I needed to update. Matthew has woken a few times this evening (new tooth) which has slowed down the process somewhat. Anyway. Of course, now I NEED to eat! So I will be back in a minute! ;)
Haha, guess what seemed GOOD to me? I'm eating cottage cheese on crackers! Definitely pregnant then! ;) Everything I ate seemed to need cottage cheese added with the boys' pregnancies at this stage. Or maybe a bit later? Anyway. I bought a HUGE tub of it at the supermarket, thinking I might want it during the week! I have eaten it because it's there, but honestly? I am really not feeling pregnant as such yet. Which is a little weird because I always feel REALLY pregnant by now. Maybe it's because I'm even busier than before and thus have less time to notice subtle symptoms? I don't know. I AM peeing a bit more than usual, and I definitely have more of an appetite - that is, I need to eat more frequently or I REALLY know about it. It's not the type of increased appetite that means I can eat double my normal portion in one sitting! Though I do have a healthy appetite right now :)
Anyway, but that's it! I was a bit nervous about my temps yesterday. I had a drop back down to the flat level that I had before I tested positive, and that was on the back of a drop the previous day, so I started to be a little nervous. I didn�t chart it that day, I just didn�t want to! I even spent some time praying yesterday about the pregnancy. Neil and I prayed properly about Beanlet and the pregnancy a few days ago, which was lovely! I�m praying a lot too. I love to pray for my Beanlet! Just like with the boys, I lay my hand on my pubic bone because I know that�s where Beanlet is hiding, and I feel so connected to the tiny one while I pray. Anyway. Yesterday I prayed that if anything is going to go wrong with this pregnancy, could it please go wrong NOW and not later when I will likely break my heart over it even more so. I prayed that same prayer the cycle before Matthew was conceived, when I had had a weird sort-of positive Clearblue test that morning, and huge pregnancy symptoms (including pregnant looking chart!) for many days by then. And then I literally got up and went to the loo, armed with a newly bought Clearblue to test again, and I had JUST started bleeding. So today about 20 minutes after I prayed, I started cramping. I got soooo nervous, but also had a real sense of peace about it because I had put it in God�s hands and I trust him completely.
But, thankfully, it was just a bit of cramping! :) I�ve had more, on and off, since then. It�s not awful at all, just �bean burrowing� type feelings! I love that I recognise that feeling for what it is now! I am also getting some low back ache now and then, and some twinges and little ligament pulls in my sides which is all normal as Beanlet burrows down and makes more and more vascular connections with me. I haven�t had any spotting for days now, which is lovely! I hope I don�t see any more blood this pregnancy! This morning my temp was the same as yesterday�s (back to the flat level of 36.7) so I felt happy enough about that. Happier still when I peed on another stick and got a lovely strong line, much stronger still than the previous one!
Today I am finally 18DPO, so my charting days are over for another year or so. I always feel sad about that, but I like to stop charting at 18DPO because that�s the official �If your temps are still high after 18 days then you�re almost undoubtedly pregnant� milestone. I have never taken a pregnancy test this late before though! I usually stop at 14DPO with those. Today I just wanted to take one more, because my temps aren�t as reassuring as they were with the boys, and I feel SO unpregnant, like totally neutral in my body! It�s weird. I feel like my body is in limbo, waiting for something to happen to either prove me pregnant or not! It�s hard to explain the feeling. It would help if I felt more pregnant, but I guess I�m happy enough not to. Most pregnancy symptoms aren�t very comfortable, so it�s okay if they�re not here yet! I�m sure they�ll be kicking my butt in a few weeks!
So, here is my last pregnancy test photo � it�s all of the cheapy sticks together; 11DPO, 12DPO, 14DPO and today�s at the bottom, 18DPO. I felt really reassured to see the line so much darker today! Yay! I have one cheapy test left for in case I bleed or something and want some instant reassurance.
I am 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant today! Only 3 days till I reach 5 weeks. Which is still super early, but I will be excited all the same!
My grandparents get back from their holiday tomorrow. They�ve been away a couple of weeks, and I�m starting to get impatient waiting for them to return, because I want to tell them that I�m pregnant again! I�m so relieved because Neil got a new job today, and that will make telling them SO much easier. Granny�s main negative comment (there were several *sigh*) when I told her I had a chemical pregnancy recently, was that we can�t have another baby while we�re living where we are, because there�s just not enough room in our house, and it could take ages for Neil to find a job, etc, etc. But now he�s FOUND one, and we�ll be moving soon because we have little choice in the matter! So yay! They won�t be able to be negative about that aspect at least. They WILL probably repeat the one about Arthur and Matthew being too young for me to have another as they still need me. Which, I�m still HERE, aren�t I?! I�m not going anywhere. Yes, I will have to divide myself another way when Beanlet is born, but they�ll be that much older by then, and able to enjoy each other while I�m busy with Beanlet. And anyway. Large families don�t seem to have issues with little ones being all traumatised and neglected. So I�m sure we�ll do just fine! I hope they�ll just be really pleased for us, because it�s DONE now, and I�m over the moon! I just want everyone else to be too!
I�m looking at baby names at the moment. For the first time, boys names are turning out to be harder than girls names! NOT that this necessarily means Beanlet is a girl, because it�s probably just that we�ve used the two boys names we really liked, and now we have the ones that we LIKE but which didn�t thrill us completely. We haven�t used any girls names yet, so I feel like there�s plenty for us to choose from! I have my favourite girl name but Neil won�t have it. He said he doesn�t think he should be pushed into using a name that he simply doesn�t like. Okay, okay, I get the picture Neil. *sigh* I am trying to find other girls names that I like since he won�t let me use the one I love the most. I feel a bit annoyed about it, because of how much I have loved this name since before we HAD kids, and there really aren�t any others that do the same thing for me. But oh well. We have to BOTH like it, I suppose. I gave him a list of about 10 that I thought were nice, last night. He said he would have to think about them. I also have some boys names listed but none of them do it for me like Arthur and Matthew did. And it�s harder every baby you have, because the name has to GO with the previous kids� names, to some degree. Anyway. That will keep us busy, I�m sure!
I�m sure there were a zillion things I wanted to write. There was all that stuff that I lost on that entry last time, but I can�t think of it now. It�s soooo late, so maybe I should just go to bed now? I will try to update sooner next time, because I really like to update frequently for my pregnancy diary, to keep a precise track of everything. It�s SO worth it when I am next going through pregnancy and I want to check exactly what was going on at 4 weeks and 4 days last time round. Even a gap of a week means that a ton of stuff relevant to that week is missing. Each week has its own joys and difficulties, in pregnancy. I want to record them all!
Beanlet is now visible to the naked eye, yay! Well, he/she is still only 1.5mm long! But hey, visible at last! :) Beanlet is still working on gastrulation, and is now pear-shaped with a big groove down his/her length which will become the neural cord. I just can�t wait to meet my tiniest one, already! I am beginning to think �boy�, but actually I just don�t knooooowww! I wrote a ton about this in my lost diary entry, but I haven�t got time to go over it again tonight. I will soon, though!
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