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2003-03-25 - 5.50pm��previous entry��next entry
Wed. 19th March (backdated entry) Feelings and stuff.
Here's another back dated entry from when the modem died (!!) and I was offline for a week. I wrote two entries offline while it was broken so here is the first one. The other one has all the explanation in it because it's the one people will see first I guess. So yay, I'm back online!!! And here are my thoughts and stuff from a week ago, although I could have sworn I posted this entry already..... Hmmm. But oh well. It isn't there so I guess I didn't. Here it is anyway:
Wednesday 19th March 2003 - 11.45pm
I am getting the feeling like I can't imagine ever really being pregnant. I know this is a stupid question and I already know the answer really, but does that mean I won't get pregnant? D'uh, silly me. I know, I know, feeling that way doesn't mean I won't. But it's just not something I can get my head round when I really seriously think about it. Did any of you guys who've been pregnant get this feeling before you ever had any children? I just can't imagine tomorrow being like July, and me doing a pregnancy test just over there in our bathroom, and it being positive, and me thinking, "Oh my gosh, I'm actually pregnant!" I can't imagine it really happening. So weird. Right now I'm having some mixed feelings, like I am still sooooo impatient to be pregnant and have a baby, and all the plans we're making and things we're preparing is making the wait harder somehow. But also this month it is dawning on me that there aren't many months to go, and the last one just zipped by, and that makes me feel kind of scared actually. Erk.
Well, aside from the weird feelings (!!), everything is still going smoothly. We have four months to go and five cycles. This last cycle charted perfectly which is reassuring. I am getting tired of taking my prenatal vitamins in so many different tablets. I just need a basic one-tablet prenatal supplement don't I?! I know. I currently take a multi-vitamin and mineral supplement (the A-Z type), extra zinc (good for reproduction, plus many women are deficient by pregnancy), high dose Vitamin C, Folic Acid in a basic B complex thingy (I was low on B vitamins around Christmas when I started), and last but not least, 10mg of B6. I read research about how women who take 10mg of B6 before pregnancy and early on, before morning sickness starts, have a hugely reduced incidence of morning sickness. That sounds good to me! Plus it sometimes helps me with period stuff, so yeah, I take that. But five tablets, pfthth. It's more easy to miss one or two a day if I take them this way, and three months after starting, it is getting kind of tiresome to keep on popping them like this! So I need to switch to a prenatal supplement. I've done lots of research but I can't really find any with levels of some vitamins that I want, and I've researched a lot to find out what the optimum levels of certain vitamins are for pre-pregnancy. I know about the ones that are BAD for pregnancy, but I also know the levels that are safe and I'm WAY below them right now. I am happy taking the levels of stuff that I currently take up to a month before we try to conceive, and then I want to switch to a normal prenatal one I think, but I don't see any reason to right now, except for the 5 tablets thing.
Also, although my diet is super-smashingly healthy (sort of!) these past 3 months, having read the diet section in What to Expect When You're Expecting, I realised my diet is not nearly what it should be for pregnancy. I mean, it's fine now, and I am eating healthily (but also still stuffing the cookies and sweets), but the stuff I'll need during pregnancy isn't being met. But does it NEED to be met yet? Hmmm. Like I know I don't need all that calcium 4 months in advance. But hmmm. So much advice, makes things more confusing!
Nappy-making has slowed down lately, but then being away for Grandmummy's funeral meant that I didn't do anything like that for a while. I made a wipe yesterday out of yellow towelling and a cute moons and stars flannel print. I am excited about wipes like I'm excited about nappies. It's a strange phenomenon! Wipes are great for if I'm kind of tired, because they take all of 10 minutes to run off, plus they use up scraps and look cute. And it gives me a kick to think I am never buying those stinky wet wipes for my baby's bum. I'd much rather have water and laundry-fresh soft towelling and flannel to wipe my behind than chemical-impregnated cloths. Wow I'm kind of activisty on cloth aren't I? Who'd have thought it!! I still can't believe how I'm planning to be thoroughly AP and use cloth nappies, etc, I really can't. It was not how I planned originally! But I'm very happy with it now :)
Oooh, oooh, I ordered books from Amazon the other day!! Mothers at UKparents on the Attachment Parenting board were recommending a book called "Attachment Parenting" by William Sears, they all said it was the best book they'd read on the subject. So I went to check it out, and found that Dr. Sears has written loads of books on stuff I want to know about. Like breastfeeding, and healthy nutrition, and positive discipline (the one I said I needed to read more about), and pregnancy, and birth, etc. Loads of them. So I went slightly crazy and bought FOUR (!!!). I am glad that Grandmummy is actually paying for them, because of the big sum of money she gave us before she died. I'm so glad she's sort of involved in this way. I ordered "The Discipline Book", "Attachment Parenting", and "The Breastfeeding Book", and then I did a little more nosing around and discovered that William Sears and his wife are Christians and have written plenty of Christian books as well, which suits me absolutely down to the ground! So I also bought their book about Christian parenting and child care (a medical and moral guide to raising children or something like that), which I think I am gonna find invaluable. So I can't wait till they arrive and I can start reading!!!! I will let you know if they are worthwhile. I'm sure they will be though, they all have rave reviews.
Hmmnmmm, what else? More baby things have been arriving in the post, mostly basics like vests and sleepsuits and stuff like that. I am so glad to be buying the basics for so little money, because I just think what's the point in spending loads on baby underwear-type-stuff when you can get perfectly good stuff that will get grown out of in a matter of weeks, for pennies. Some of the stuff is sooo perfect and adorable - I would have bought it full price in the shop if I'd seen it there. So I am one happy girlie! The swinging crib is set up in the small bedroom, but that was really so my mum could see it when she stayed last weekend. She loved it, and was really soppy over the lovely clothes and nappies too :) We are going to put the crib in the loft some time, because it's just taking up space here and we won't need it for a while. We most likely won't need it at all, but hey it's a good backup.
Ohhh yes, I got more maternity things in the post too. I now have three pairs of trousers/jeans, which is all I think I will need - a cream pair, a dark denim pair of jeans, and a pale denim pair of jeans with embroidered leggies :) I like them all and they seem to fit. They were all wonderfully cheap. The embroidered jeans have the most ginormous stretchy panel though, much more so than the others! Mind you, the lady I bought them from had triplets, so maybe that's why!! But they still have tags on, so..... I think those won't fit me too well till the end of pregnancy, but that's fine because they're kind of spring-wear jeans and I am hoping to be around 35 weeks pregnant this time next year so they would be good for that time. Woah, what a mad thought!
I have two maternity tops and one pair of dungarees. I am pretty sure I will win the bid on a lovely maternity dress at eBay too, but I will wait and see. I need short sleeved tops and a sweater or two. But that can wait as well.
Anyway I could waffle on all day about stuff like this and it's really not that relevant yet, since I have months left till we even start TTC. But poo, I like preparing. I am so impatient. I am going to go and take a walk now, which is something I seem to be doing daily lately - hooray!! I am so determined to get fit for pregnancy. I will write again when I have more stuff to say or feelings or whatever. I hope I can do this - be a baby-oven/parent, I mean. Hmmm.
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