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2006-06-22 - 11.41pm��previous entry��next entry
8 days old - photos and stuff :)
Will have to write this entry in bits and snatches, so I'm starting it now (mid-afternoon) otherwise I won't get anything much written today!
Matthew is 8 days old today (well, tonight, to be more specific!), and I am pretty sure he has hit the "10-day-old" growth spurt a bit early. Arthur did too, at about 7 or 8 days old. I know it's just a growth spurt, I DO know, and that it shall pass, but oh my gosh I am finding things so hard today.
Matthew hasn't slept for longer than an hour for at least 24 hours now, and often he just dozes off for like 10 minutes and then wakes rooting again. I have NEVER put out so much breastmilk in my life, EVER! I do have enough, thank goodness, but seriously, I have spent about 20 out of the last 24 hours breastfeeding somebody! Yesterday Matthew wouldn't settle much in the day and kept wanting another side and another and another, and then last night was soooo sleepless for me. Well, not sleepLESS, I think I got a couple of hours in bits.
This morning Arthur woke at 5.30, urgh. It is getting really hard to get him to stay asleep/in bed till 6am these days, which we're still trying to do because it's just not reasonable for Mummy or Daddy to have to get up before 6am! He just needs to learn that, even if he's a bit too young to yet. So he stays awake but Neil keeps him in bed till 6am or near enough. Poor Neil. This morning when Arthur woke at 5.30 I was already sitting up in bed with Matthew (in the spare room - at the moment it would be difficult, to say the least, if we were all in the same room!), burping him after a big feed. The rest of the morning literally went like this (I'm approximating the times):
5.30am - burping Matthew
5.35am - breastfeeding Matthew
6.00am - Put Matthew down asleep
6.02am - Matthew wakes, rooting and fussing - back on the breast again
6.15am -Burp Matthew and put him in bed with me to nurse (my back is too tired to sit up)
7.00am - Matthew wakes (I had just dozed off) and gets burped and cuddled, then breastfed
7.05am - Big Poo occurs during feed!
7.15am - change nappy, burp, Matthew still rooting so back to the breast
7.25am - burp for ages as he seems writhey and uncomfy - much better after burping, but now rooting again so back on the breast, in bed with Mummy
7.40am - awake after dozing off on the breast and fussing. Burp Matthew then lay down in bed with him tummy-down on my chest. He goes right off to sleep
8.00am - Transfer totally unconscious boy to Moses basket and get a little doze in bed! Need food and drink but need sleep more.
9.00am - Matthew wakes, wet right through his sleepsuit, and not happy! Change nappy.
9.10am - Breastfeed. Matthew poos during feed.
9.30am - Feeling totally wiped out. Neil changes nappy and burps Matthew while I lie down for a minute.
9.50am - Matthew rooting and fed up with being rocked by Daddy! Back on the breast.
10.00am - Matthew poos during feed. Neil changes nappy and burps Matthew while I lie down. Arthur wreaks havoc on the downstairs during this time!
10.10am - Matthew still fussing but I'm completely knackered, so Neil takes him downstairs to make sure Arthur isn't up to too much mischief, and rocks Matthew downstairs. I lie in bed trying to fall asleep.
10.30am - Matthew asleep but wakes when Neil puts him down. Roots immediately so back on the breast.
10.35am - Arthur desperate for nap and asking for milk like crazy. Tandem nurse the boys for a few minutes on the sofa.
10.40am - Hand Matthew (still awake) to Neil and take Arthur up to bed for his nap. Arthur drinks a CRAZY amount of breastmilk for 10 minutes without going to sleep, while I lie and listen to Matthew cry and cry in Neil's arms down the hall.
10.50am - Arthur appears asleep, but wakes when I try to get up and starts to cry when it looks like I am thinking of not letting him breastfeed any longer. Give him the breast again and cry until he falls asleep.
11.00am - Still haven't had breakfast so go downstairs and cry over a bowl of cereal while Matthew cries in Neil's arms and Arthur sleeps.
11.10am - Feeling slightly less wobbly, so head back upstairs and put Matthew back on the breast.
11.20am - Matthew poos during feed. Give him the other side anyway and figure I'll change him after that.
11.40am - Neil takes Matthew's nappy off and starts to clean him up, and Arthur wakes crying after only 30 minutes sleep. Switch with Neil so that he can try and re-settle Arthur.
11.50am - Matthew back on the breast, with clean bum. Arthur absolutely inconsolable, even cuddling Daddy - odd for him.
11.55am - Take Matthew off the breast and leave him in the bedroom. Neil goes to Matthew and I go to Arthur, who seems better for my presence but wants a long breastfeed in bed to fully calm down.
12.15pm - Arthur up - nap abandoned! Matthew asleep for the time being.
And that was just the morning! I can't remember what happened after that. It's 10.45pm now - had to stop writing earlier and this is the first chance I've had to continue. I need to go to bed but I soooo wanted to just write some stuff down here first, about the last couple of days. And post a few more photos.
Matthew had a 2 hour sleep this afternoon, at last, and it coincided perfectly with Neil taking Arthur out shopping, but wouldn't you know, that when my body decided it was wide awake and I couldn't relax in bed, let alone sleep! Tsk. He's been really restless again since, feeding a LOT, etc. Arthur has fallen and hurt himself a couple of times and needed the breast then too, and he nursed for a good while at bedtime. Matthew had so much milk by Arthur's bedtime that he had his first episode of projectile possetting, yeurgh. All over the sofa too. Then he rooted, but I always get nervous about continuing to feed them if they have obviously just thrown up the stuff they have overfilled with! I remember the breastfeeding counsellor told me (with Arthur) not to worry about that. She said just breastfeed anyway if that's what they are asking for, or if it's the only thing that will settle them. And not to worry about the huge swathes of milk that come back up! She said he'll just return what he doesn't want.
Matthew cried for ages this evening and I think he had wind or something. We walked him, rocked him, even tried him in the Hug-a-Bub, but he was beside himself. He was all stiff and didn't want the breast so I think he must have had some painful wind. He's fine again now though, and has breastfed a lot this evening again.
Today I just feel like I have never been so "demanded of", in terms of my physical output! It has been so hard to keep up with, and I have felt quite physically drained. I feel like I have constantly been having milk drawn from me, by one or the other of my boys. I have barely had time to eat or drink or wee or anything. I absolutely and totally cannot FATHOM a possible way that I am going to cope when Neil is back at work, especially when Matthew has another growth spurt, which he will several times while I don't have Neil around to help me settle one of the boys or fetch me a drink. Today I really feel like I'm not coping WITH Neil around, so it panics me somewhat that I'll be without his help in just 7 more days. I know in 7 days, Matthew may be more settled, but on the other hand he might not be, and in any case, it's only a matter of a few more days before he hits another growth spurt and feeds around the clock again. Mummy says I just have to compromise and not beat myself up over it. That Matthew can never have what Arthur has had, being the only baby to focus on, and Arthur can never have what he has always had so far, now that he has a baby brother around. But I hate to short-change either of them in any way, and I just can't settle to the idea that one of them will have to cry while I tend to the other one. I just wish I could give both of them EVERYTHING to the absolute max of their needs and wishes. I know I'm only human and I can only do so much, but at the same time I feel irked at myself that I can't stretch that far, because I SO want them to have all that they need at all times.
Our house is so cluttered and messy. It's crazy. We just can't keep on top of it, even remotely. The floor is absolutely covered in clothes, toys, and various miscellaneous objects. The thing I hate about it even MORE than how crap and unrelaxing it looks, is that it is getting unsafe for Arthur. He is tripping over stuff and I feel so angry at myself and Neil for letting it get so bad that our little one is falling over crap on the floor and hurting himself. But I CAN'T do anything about it, and Neil apparently can't either. Urgh. You should see our kitchen. Literally half the floor is covered with clean-but-horribly-crumpled laundry - about 5 loads that have been pulled out of the tumble dryer when they are done and just rifled through to find the urgent thing of the moment, and then the rest is left there. The other half of the floor mainly consists of crumbs and dirty laundry/nappies. Ugh.
Okay. I have that off my chest. Now I should write some newsy/upbeat things before I REALLY have to stop and go to bed! Oh but I need to shower before bed. I am slacking on my thing I'm meant to do where I bathe my stitches twice a day. The twice isn't happening any more because I don't get time, but at least I'm still bathing them once a day. They are healing up well and starting to dissolve already. They hurt a lot less today. My bleeding is still going but not so bad as a few days ago. I can't wait to be done with that.
Neil and Arthur bought a Fisher Price Kick and Play bouncy chair today! We got �30 Mothercare vouchers from the church (isn't that lovely?!) and another �30 Mothercare vouchers from Neil's team at work, and that's what we decided to spend some of it on. Matthew is already starting to look like he fills the Moses basket quite well (yikes!) so pretty soon I will have nowhere to lay him downstairs if I'm needing to grab Arthur from some dangerous climbing escapade or even if I want to do jigsaws with him or something. I figured a bouncy chair would be good for that. Matthew could be propped at a good angle to see everything, and there are activities on it he might like too. Or if he was sleepy he could even snooze in it. We have a second hand bouncy chair from when Arthur was tiny, but it never actually bounced and I wasn't that impressed with it. So I'm happy to have the Kick and Play! :) I hope he likes it! Arthur seems highly excited about it, and I'm sure I'm going to have to deter him from climbing in it all the time once it's put together!
Matthew had his GP and midwife checks a couple of days ago. He is doing great, and they were both really pleased with him. The only thing the midwife made note of was that he has really dry, peeling skin on his torso, and she said to just rub olive oil into it. We've been doing that but it isn't getting any better. I know it'll just sort itself out in the end. Arthur had very dry peely skin too, and that just resolved itself. I can't remember how long it took though. The doctor's only "note" was that Matthew is slightly plethoric, which just means he is more red in colour than most babies. I asked why that was and she said they don't really know. It'll clear up in a short while and it's nothing to worry about. Some babies are just redder than others, she said! The only reason they note it, is that it can put a baby more at risk of developing jaundice, but at 6 days old he was already past the main risk age for that starting, and he had no jaundice at that time anyway, so that's fine. I THOUGHT he seemed quite flushed all the time! But he's doing fine. His reflexes and heart and all his bits and pieces are normal and healthy and fine.
The midwife is coming back on Tuesday (a whole week between visits!) to discharge us to the Health Visitor, but my lovely GP who came to do his newborn check said she would notify the Health Visitor that all was fine with Matthew, and so she rang and arranged to come round for her first visit on Tuesday as well :) I can't wait to see her again - she was so lovely and supportive with Arthur, and I feel proud for her to see Arthur again and how well he's doing!
Matthew had his Guthrie (Heel Prick) test this week and it went fine! Yay! I asked if I could breastfeed him while she did it, and Matthew didn't flinch while I nursed him :) I saw his eyes change for a second when his heel was pricked but he was fine, even with all the squeezing going on to his foot. He bled well and she got a good sample, so I'm relieved! She weighed him and he weighed 7lbs 13oz!!! He was 7lbs 4oz just three days before, so he gained 9oz in those 3 days!!!! Wow. That also put him 2oz above his birth weight, and the midwife was really pleased with that, at 6 days old. It took Arthur days longer to reach his birth weight I think, but then we had a rough start with breastfeeding, and Matthew has been feeding wonderfully (and hungrily!) from the start. I can't wait to have him weighed again on Tuesday! :)
Okay I need to hurry up! Matthew is stirring and it's late, so if I have to stop to breastfeed again then I won't have time to finish this tonight.
Here are two sleepy photos from yesterday (I think, or the day before):
Nooo, he doesn't sleep on his front, I keep on trying to get different photos of him as potential ones to use for the birth announcement, but I'm never satisfied with what I take, lol! Actually, I need your help with it. Please could you guys tell me which (if any) of the photos I have posted of Matthew so far (previous entry and this one - including the rest of the ones I'll post in a minute) you like best for using for his birth announcement picture? I think I would like one main photo and then a few inset to one side, preferably one of them being with Arthur in it too. But I need help choosing the main one. Do any of them fit the bill or should I keep taking pictures some more?! I just can't decide.
Here are a couple of random ones that Neil took today :)
Arthur held Matthew today for the first time! I asked him if he wanted to hold Matthew, and held him out towards him, and he just looked at me like he was amazed that such a possibility even existed! He looked so awed by the idea, and he reached out eagerly with both arms for Matthew, it was so sweet! I put Matthew on his lap and he never once took his eyes of Matthew's face. We got a few photos and Arthur held on so carefully, even with me keeping one hand on Matthew. He was just transfixed, and he looked so thrilled with his experience when I took Matthew back. Since then he has been asking to hold Matthew a lot, and at bedtime Matthew was crying while Arthur got his night nappy put on. I sat on the bed with Matthew in my arms, and Arthur got up and literally TOOK Matthew from me! He just reached out for him and grasped him gently round the waist and PULLED him into his body, it was so lovely. He was so gentle with him, and when Matthew stopped crying, he looked up at Neil and I and just BEAMED! I think he was so pleased that he had made Matthew feel "better" enough to stop crying for a moment :) He's the sweetest love. Anyway, here are photos of Arthur holding Matthew for the first time - some rather blurry and a few with Matthew crying, but oh well, I can't choose which ones to post and which not, so here they all are!
Okay he's awake and it's 11.40pm so I MUST go! I hope tonight won't be too sleepless! I'll update again as soon as I can. Please do give your advice on the photos - I want to get those announcements sorted soon and I can't decide!!! Thank you! xxx
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