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2007-08-09 - 3.07pm��previous entry��next entry
13 weeks, 4 days - still yeurghy
Matthew is napping and Arthur is upstairs in his room having Big Boy Quiet Time, so we'll see how this goes!
I'm 13 weeks and 4 days pregnant today (I so love being a day ahead of what I previously thought!!). I was feeling soooooo much better this time last pregnancy! No nausea left or anything. The last few days I haven't been able to write because I have felt SO. SICK. And completely exhausted out of my brains. Every night I have been going to bed REALLY early for me (between 10 and 11pm - trust me, this is hours earlier than I would normally go to bed, pre-pregnancy!) because I am just exhausted and pale and yucky. And I'm just as exhausted when I get up the next morning, if not more so! It's crazy. I have also had a bad headache 2 out of the last 3 days. One day it lasted from 9am till I went to bed over 12 hours later. Two lots of painkillers did nothing at all, and it was really hard to get through the day with the boys. Reeeally hard. The next day it didn't start till after lunch but it was pretty horrible till I went to bed. Today I got the same headache in the morning, but the INSTANT I felt it juuuust beginning, I took painkillers, to try and get it before it really started, and it didn't develop! Yay! I feel a bit headachy now at 3pm but hopefully it won't kick in today.
I am just sooooooooo tired. And in the evenings I feel soooo sick. At least I have always eaten my dinner, because I eat early with the boys. I hope it goes away soon. It MUST be soon, even if it's another 4 or 5 weeks like with Arthur - that still feels "soon" to me because I've done way more weeks than that so far! I can count those off without too much trouble, and they'll pass pretty fast. I just hope it goes soon! I hate feeling sick.
I am also bleeding still, but it's all old blood from the haematoma. I know it has only been a few days, and also I know it's GOOD that the haematoma drains, so to speak, rather than staying in there causing trouble, but I am already so fed up with bleeding. I think I have done more than my fair share of bleeding this pregnancy! I hate always feeling yucky and not-clean, and having to wear pads like I have a period (which I hate SO much that I never use those when I get a period anyway, but you have to use pads when you're pregnant). I hate the tension over constantly checking my underwear, and looking every darn time I wipe to see if I have to worry or not. Some times in the day I am barely spotting, and I think, "Yay! It's clearing up at last!" and then 2 hours later I will suddenly bleed heavily and be back to square one. The haematoma was big so I know there is no small amount of blood there to come out. But pfthth. Since the day before I had my first positive pregnancy test, the longest patch I have managed WITHOUT bleeding or spotting has been a week. Just a week. Seven days. I hope once this haematoma goes, that will be IT for me, with bleeding! I really hope so.
To comment on a couple of things from my guestbook - they think the haematoma was caused by a bleed from the edge of my placenta. Once the fresh bleed finished, most of the blood stayed inside my uterus and formed the "pool" of blood that they call a subchorionic haematoma. It isn't a relief to me to find out about it (although I'm glad to see a cause for the bleeding that started the night before the scan) because it's apparently completely unrelated to my previous heavy bleed a couple of weeks ago. They never did find a cause for that one. They just noted that my placenta was touching my cervix, and suggested that perhaps I had had a bleed from the placenta and it had all pretty much fallen out of my cervix (hence the "torrential" aspect of my bleeding that time!). There was no haematoma present at my scan 2 weeks ago. If I bleed red blood again, the doctor told me that it would not be related to THIS haematoma either. I don't like it one bit that I have bleed substantially TWICE in as many weeks, from two seperate incidences. It makes me nervous that it will just keep on happening. But I really hope not! They said there's no predicting it, so hopefully I was unlucky twice and that will be it.
Okay I probably don't have long now, so I must write the other stuff I wanted to update with! Annoyingly, some of it has already fallen out of my head while I've been writing the above! Tsk. I HAVE had to go upstairs to fix a broken car transporter THREE times, so that hasn't helped either! ;)
I forgot to say, the morning of the scan, I listened to Beanlet with the doppler, just for reassurance. I like to know he/she is still alive in there BEFORE I go to a scan. I know that's probably crazy of me, but oh well. Anyway, Beanlet's heartrate is starting to slow, which is normal. It was 159! I don't think it's been below the 170s until now. I can hear the umbilical cord pulse easily now. Beanlet is really getting so big in there, for the size of my tummy (not that big yet!). I can't believe it when I hold my finger and thumb apart the size of Beanlet's crown-to-rump measurement, and hold it against my tummy low down! It's SO BIG!
I weighed myself the other day! I can't remember exactly which day, and it was AFTER breakfast, so not the most accurate. But anyway. I weighed 8lbs 7.5lbs, and if I remember rightly I was 8st 5lbs for my pre-pregnancy weight. I went down a few lbs over the first trimester, sort of as expected but I was still eating 3 meals a day, etc. Maybe I just wasn't eating my normal amounts with the nausea? Anyway, so now I am up almost 2lbs. The weight gain of pregnancy has begun! :) I have no idea why it's already going UP while I'm still this morning sick! But then, Beanlet and his/her house are growing fast now, so that could account for it, maybe.
I am starting to have real trouble this week with clothes for my bottom half! Every day it seems to become more of a problem, and I swear at the weekend I didn't have half as much trouble (it's Thursday today). ALL waistbands are uncomfy. My favourite jeans sit funny, like they are the right height on the waist at the back, but they sit lower at the front, like my beginnings-of-a-bump is filling out the fabric and the waistband can't reach as high therefore (if that makes sense?!). I'm surprised that it's happening already! At this stage with my other pregnancies, I simply got out the maternity clothes and fit the smaller ones really comfortably. But for some weird reason I feel odd about getting out my maternity clothes ALREADY! I feel like I'm being silly to put them on this early! But it has got to the point where the alternative is baggy stuff that doesn't really fit. I'm fine for tops though! The little bumpiness I have is reeeally low down, all below my tummy button. Which, by the way, is changing already!
I used to have SUCH a nice inny. *sigh* And then it never went back to normal after Arthur. I never had an outie with my pregnancies, but it did stretch completely flat. There's a stage where the uterus is just coming up below my tummy button where the top of my tummy button appears to stick out a bit, until the uterus is filling the space underneath my tummy button. And then it goes flat. At the moment, the bottom half of my tummy button is flat - completely flat. And the top is starting to stick out a bit. My uterus is only a couple of inches below it though - higher first thing in the morning than later in the day (some weird gravity thing that I noticed the other two pregnancies as well, when I've been lying down all night!).
Yesterday Arthur said that my tiny baby is a girl again! I asked what we should call her, and he said, without hesitation, "Granny Murray!" *sigh* Granny Murray is a character from a preschooler's TV programme called "Me Too". She's a daycare provider sort of person. The names he suggests are always crazy!! Hehe! Needless to say, we won't be putting that suggestion on our list! ;) I am not even looking at or thinking about girl names these days, and I don't think I have for weeks now. I'm too convinced that Beanlet is a boy, and I know myself too well to want to risk getting too curious about whether the baby MIGHT be a girl, because before I know it, curiosity will have turned to hope, and hope to expectation, and then I will end up DISAPPOINTED when we find out my precious baby bean is another sweet boy. Which I don't want to do!! So I'm trying to stick with my gut feeling. Which, if I'm honest, I'm not 100% sure about now.... I DO get what Mia means about Beanlet looking rather girly (if that's even possible with a 13-week fetus!), and Neil is now wondering given the fact that this is our first EVER nuchal scan where we didn't walk away saying how we both saw the boy bits! Even though we didn't have chance to see. He still wonders.
For myself, I can't imagine having a girl! If it IS a girl, then I just can't can't CAN'T believe it! I mean. I don't DO girls! I can't fathom my body ever growing one! It's too surreal. But we'll see :) It makes me chuckle because Neil suddenly said to me the other evening, "I don't know what to DO if it's a girl! I'll be so nervous! I don't know how to DO girls!" Hehe! It's funny because he has a sister who is 12 years younger than him, and he did LOADS to help his mum when she was tiny. He changed nappies and burped her and dealt with her when she was crying and inconsolable, etc. When I was pregnant for the first time, with Arthur, and we found out we were having a boy, he said, "I'm SO happy we're having a boy! But I'm SO nervous! I don't know how to DO boys! I only know girls, because of my little sister..." and now he has forgotten all about that, with the more recent experience with the boys :) He'll be fine. We both will. I am getting curious to see what Beanlet is, but I do still lean strongly towards BOY, for now!
Talking of small boys, one of mine is up from his nap and standing rather too close to the laptop for my liking when I haven't saved this entry! Arthur is packing up his Quiet Time toys upstairs so I need to go. I know there are little things I haven't said that I keep forgetting every time I update, and which I was determined to write this time! But I have forgotten them AGAIN, and run out of time besides. I'll update again asap. I can't in the evenings because of feeling grim, and daytimes do not offer many opportunities at all, so we'll see! I'll try though. And I MUST update my arthursmummy diary next - it's soooo neglected these days! Tsk.
Thanks SO much for all the lovely messages after my scan! :) They really lifted me up to read them! Oh! I must email Meg! I will try to do that later! :)
Oh, I remembered a small thing! Yesterday I was exactly one third of the way through my pregnancy!! Except that it's probably TODAY for me, since I tend to go over my due date! And tomorrow is 10 weeks to the day (or is it the next day?) since I found out I was pregnant! I can't believe it has been that long! Ten weeks is AGES!! It's all going so fast....
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