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2005-10-05 - 10.18pm��previous entry��next entry
Five weeks pregnant! :)
FINALLY a moment to update!!! I wish soooo much that I had updated twice since my last entry, but never mind. I have been too tired or busy, and other things got done first online - I seem to have such tiiiny windows online now!
I am five weeks pregnant today!!! Yay! Officially past the 18DPO "there's no way you're not pregnant now" milestone! Now I am 21 days past ovulation. Something AMAZING is happening deep inside my body today. The two muscular tubes that were formed yesterday in my tiny baby have fused, and today (or definitely by 22DPO - different sources seem divided over whether it starts at 21DPO or 22DPO) the S-shaped tube spontaneously started beating!!! I cannot fathom the idea of a tiny person with a beating heart inside me again! It's so mind-blowingly wonderful. And amazing. How AMAZING is this process?! I am in total awe of it all.
So Sprout has a beating heart! And is about 2mm long now. Soooo tiny! And yet that's soooo much in comparison with the invisible group of cells a week ago, or even a few days ago! Sprout has a neural tube which is beginning to close at various segments. I need to remember my prenatal vitamins. Sprout could really use the folic acid right now. I forgot yesterday, and I almost forgot again this evening except that the website about Sprout's development reminded me! I can't believe I forgot them.
Sprout also has about 4 pairs of somites, which are tiny little bands of tissue along the primitive trunk of the body, and these will develop into muscle and bone. Tomorrow Sprout will already have at least 8 pairs of somites! The growth and development is so fast at the moment! Sprout now has a "head fold" at one end of his/her length. Also the placental development is coming along nicely - it has now developed secondary blood vessels!
I am feeling okay. My spotting stopped on the third day, and I haven't had any since. My cramping has died down somewhat, but I still feel quite crampy at times. That's normal though. I feel somewhat yucky in my stomach and never really want to eat, but I keep doing it anyway. I know from last time that I need to just snack and snack no matter how bad I feel! I am hungry underneath it anyway. I have horrible painful wind and am really constipated. How nice! I am also extremely bloated on my tummy, which I remember from last time. It's reassuring to see like EVERYONE in my June due dates buddy group saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm soooooo bloated! Anyone else?!" :) I have a lot of heartburn, several times a day, and after I eat, my food always feels like it's just sitting in there in my oesophagus, like it never quite went down. It makes me feel a bit yeurghy, but that's okay. I like being pregnant! :)
I went to see the doctor on Monday. That's one of the days I really wish I had had time to post, but never mind. It went well. I told her about the spotting and cramping, and she said if it lasts another couple of days then to go back to her and she'd refer me for an early scan. I hardly had any spotting that day so that was fine with me. I'm also glad she didn't consider doing an internal. I think I would have said no if she had suggested it. They aren't necessary and can cause more trouble than their worth really. Also I know my cervix is closed, which is all she would have been looking for. I have stopped checking my cervix and temping now. I miss it though!
Anyway. She took my blood pressure. It was 118/68, but I know it was probably a WHOLE lot lower, because a) that's actually pretty high for me! And b) I was majorly tense at the time. I was so excited and adrenaliney about my appt that I was actually shaking by the time she went to take my blood pressure!!! I was so excited to tell my doctor I was pregnant. She is really lovely and JUST got back from maternity leave after having a baby in April. We always chat like friends before we get down to business! So I was shaky with excitement over telling her :) Plus when I had the cuff on my arm, I was holding Arthur in the other arm, who was making lunges for the velcro on the cuff! I had to restrain him whilst keeping nice and still, so there's NO way my blood pressure was accurate. But oh well. It's normal so that's the important thing.
She weighed me too, but with clothes and shoes on. I weighed 8.5 stone, so I guess I have lost some weight since I last weighed myself here (our scales are broken - poo!). I weighed 8.5 stone without clothes then, and I was wearing jeans and heavy clothes and shoes at the doctor's. BUT, I am soooo delighted about my general weight!! I was 7st 10lbs at the beginning of my pregnancy with Arthur, and then dropped to 7 stone with morning sickness, but both those weights were too light for me I think. 7 stone 10lbs was my constant weight no matter what I did, for years, so that WAS my healthy weight I guess. But after I had Arthur I was really hoping that I would not go back down to that, because I thought it seemed too light for me while I was looking after a baby/toddler and starting another pregnancy. I hoped to stop losing weight at 8.5 stone, so I was glad to reach that, but worried that I would continue to lose weight with all the breastfeeding, etc. That was a few months ago. Then the scales broke. Tsk. Sooo I'm really thrilled about my starting weight this pregnancy. It seems a MUCH healthier weight to set out as, for pregnancy. My mum says maybe I'll gain less this time as a result, but we'll see. I am not too fussed about weight gain during pregnancy, but I DID gain like 4 stone (which I think is like 50+lbs!!!!!) over the whole of my last pregnancy!!! I don't really want to gain 4 stone this time! I was too heavy for comfort at the end of Arthur's pregnancy, and I think that is why my blood pressure started going up at the end. I was just too heavy for my body's frame. I don't think I will get the chance to gain that much this time though, since I will be breastfeeding and running around after a very active little one!
Anyway, then the doctor booked me in :) Yay! She filled out a big questionnaire with me. I love things like that! Mostly about my previous pregnancy and medical history, etc. The doctor explained that I would now be waiting for a scan appt in the post, which should arrive in the next fortnight. I got a printout titled, "Second or subsequent Baby" - how exciting!!! It detailed the stages of various appts and things. My first appt of any sort is my first scan, somewhere between 12 and 14 weeks, according to the leaflet. My scan with Arthur was 13 weeks exactly. At the scan I will book my first appt with the midwife and also my next scan date at 21 weeks.
So now I just wait! And hope that Sprout (I wrote Bean, oops!) stays nice and healthy and grows well in the meantime. Of course before the scan there will be plenty of excitement! I know I will feel my womb rise above my pubic bone before then. I felt it so early last time - I could feel a firm ridge of it at 9 weeks!!! Also movements. I read that you feel movements earlier after the first pregnancy, and I felt Arthur move very very early. So early that most people didn't believe it possible. I felt him shift and shove from 11 weeks. Neil and I could even feel it from the outside. I was relieved when it happened at my 13 week scan and I was able to see on the screen my confirmation that I HAD been feeling the baby all along :) I felt proper blips and kicks from 14.something weeks.
Also I will (hopefully!) be able to hear the baby's heartbeat way before the scan when I get my doppler back from Jemma :) I am leaving it with her for a few more weeks though, as I don't need it just yet and she will enjoy being able to listen to her little one for as long as she can, I'm sure! With Arthur, I got the doppler in the post at 9w3d, and heard him within 5 minutes of unwrapping it! So I will be eager to start trying to hear around 9 weeks, even though I will try to remember that it's early and not worry if I don't hear it yet. Of course, you know me, if I have the doppler here at 8w4d or something, you can bet I'll be squidging it around my belly for hours on end anyway! Hehe! I have no patience, even when there's little chance...
I told my grandparents about the pregnancy yesterday. They were very weird and quiet about it, which was a bit disappointing. Granny perked up pretty quickly though, and said it was exciting news and asked me lots of interested questions, but Grandoug was a bit weird. He didn't even change his expression or meet my eye. He even went out to change the bird feed after a while!! So I was a bit disappointed. But today they left me two messages on the machine to say they were happy and excited and they hoped they hadn't come over too "quiet" about it yesterday. They said they were so taken aback by the news! They hadn't expected it at all! And the first thing they thought was how much extra we would be having to cope with now, what with Arthur being so little still, and Neil's potential job and the potential house-move to a new city.
So that was nice :) I think a lot of people are going to react very surprised though. I don't know what it is about people with babies under a year old - when they say they are expecting another baby it somehow IS a bit of a shock. I don't know why that should be, but even I feel it as my first gut reaction. Usually just for a split second though, and then I am thrilled and excited :) So I guess I can understand other people's reactions. I just hope they will be positive about it for us. Neil told his brother today on the phone. He was really pleased for us. He did ask if it was planned though. That's the third person who has asked that now. The doctor was one, but I guess that's official medical questioning! I know it was a bit of an oopsie this cycle, but I always answer yes it was planned. Unplanned is when you have noooo concept of pregnancy until suddenly you're confronted with it! We definitely weren't in that boat.
So now there's only Neil's sister (the one who had a baby in June this year!) to tell. Then all our family knows.
I have to admit it is all still so surreal. This time last pregnancy I was already so besotted with Arthur, and spent my every waking moment tracking his progress or dreaming about him and our future together, or planning and preparing, shopping, looking up names, etc. But this time feels so different. The days are passing with very little time to think about the new baby, as I'm so busy with Arthur. I already have such a major focus in my life, whereas before I was kind of just waiting for it! I had Neil as my main person to focus on, but that still left me a WHOLE lot of time to dream away, with him working and stuff.
I feel slightly odd that the development of this baby is whizzing along and I'm not telling everyone I know about how many parts of a millimetre the baby has grown since yesterday, etc! I feel less overawed and excited in general, although I DO feel really amazed at what it taking place inside me. I know I will fall in love with the baby in no time, but it does feel weird that I don't really feel that yet. I feel like I have no feelings for the baby in comparison with how I felt for Arthur this time last pregnancy. But I DO have strong feelings for the new baby. They really aren't as obvious, but there are feelings there. In a way I'm nervous about whether this pregnancy will yet go wrong. Also I feel like I can't see past Arthur right now. I can't imagine having two children, or having a child who ISN'T Arthur. I know all this is perfectly normal and natural right now, so I'm not worried at all about my feelings. I know there is plenty of time for all that yet.
Today my mum made a comment about the baby being not really a person yet, and I was amazed at how defensive I got and how strong my feelings were, thinking how my baby IS a person, and his or her little heart is beating and he/she is doing his/her very best to grow furiously to survive and join our family. I felt so protective and fond of the baby right then. So I know the feelings will bloom soon enough. They are under the surface already. I just have so little time at this early stage of pregnancy to dwell on things. I know it will change as I feel my womb, or feel movement, or hear a heartbeat, and find ways to connect physically with my new little one. I am slightly scared to do those things for fear of losing Sprout, but it's one day at a time I suppose.
I haven't had time to think about names either. At my grandparents' we had salad and ham for lunch. We always have that when I go over, because I like it. Well yesterday it was all weird. I felt gaggy on the tomatoes again, and everything seemed too salty! That seems to be a major thing for me at the moment - everything is too salty. I am heartbroken because my beloved Marmite on toast is too salty for my taste at breakfast time! This is the first time in my whole life where I have not been able to eat Marmite. Of course I am persevering! ;) I love Marmite too much. But it's too salty. The ham was WAY salty yesterday. I could barely take it. And the mushrooms! Mushrooms are not salty!! But they tasted so to me. The salad was coated in vinegraitte salad dressing - my main craving last pregnancy - and how WEIRD is this? I could not BEAR to have the salad bowl next to me. The vinegary smell was offensive to me somehow. I ate some, but with effort and only because I hadn't told my grandparents about the pregnancy at that stage and I didn't want them to get suspicious!
But how weird!! So much is seeming completely the opposite to last pregnancy, re. foods and things. I am perfectly happy with sweet foods though. Last pregnancy I couldn't stomach anything sweet for the first 8 weeks I think. It does make me curious as to whether this baby will be a girl, since I read so much about how salty/vinegary cravings were common with boys (true for me, as I had Arthur!), so I wonder if the fact that I am completely the opposite this time means that the baby's gender might be the opposite also. Lots of people have said the oopsie 4 days before ovulation is way more likely to result in a girl as well, so it makes me all the more curious!
I don't know how I feel about the baby's gender yet. It's another thing I have hardly had time to stop and think about. I would love another little boy, as I do cute boys, hehe! ;) No seriously, I like the idea of Arthur having a brother, especially since they will be so close in age. And I like being able to say, "My boys" :) I like that a LOT. Also I "know" boys now that I've had Arthur. I would be so happy to have another! BUT, I know I would also love to have a girl. I definitely want to have a daughter (at least one!) amongst our children, and it would be so nice to have one of each for our first two children. Also it's something different for us as a family. We have only been parents to a little boy so far. I would love to expand on our experience! But that same reason also sometimes makes me nervous of having a girl, because it's something "different" I suppose. But it will be wonderful either way, and I guess the great thing about it is that I really don't mind one bit whether the baby is a boy or a girl. I can't tell yet if I have a gut-preference one way or the other. Last time I said I would be happy either way, but deep down (unrevealed till after we found out!) I had a slight leaning towards preferring a boy :) But I can't feel any leanings so far. It will be wonderful either way.
Okay this entry is really long and I'm tired out. I wanted to update my other diary but I don't know... I need to go to bed really. I must get to that tomorrow. So behind on emails still. Working on it when I get a chance!
Oh wow, I just noticed that on Arthur's belly gallery, the first belly photo was FIVE weeks!!!! Yikes! I had better get Neil to snap me in my nice pink penguin pyjamas that I'm wearing (!!) to start a new belly gallery - how exciting!!! I can't believe I'm starting another belly gallery already! Okay I'll do that, then add the gallery, then post this. Then bed! :)
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