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2006-01-24 - 11.25pm��previous entry��next entry
21 weeks pregnant (almost!) - A girl's name!!!!
Here I am with an entry for 21 weeks, even though I am 20w6d today, because tomorrow is Neil's birthday and I doubt I will get chance to update! Arthur is napping and I am itching to write so I figured I might as well make it an entry to cover the 21 week stats and stuff!!
Thank you SO much for the lovely comments about my belly pics!! I hadn't noticed the slight pointy-up difference in my bump this time until you girls mentioned it!! I see it now! I still don't know WHAT to think about whether Sprout is a boy or a girl. Out of the people who have left me messages and notes about it, everyone seems pretty split - lots think boy, and lots think girl. I am not sure about that boy vibe anymore, because it was based on the fact that my pregnancy feels soooo similar to the last time. But now I know that doesn't have to mean anything, so I'm not sure. I guess it will be a total surprise when we find out, which is lovely! Talking of which, only SIX DAYS TO GOOOOOO!!!! Woohoooo! I am so so so so excited! It is beginning to feel rather surreal that I am actually going to go and see Sprout in action again and probably find out if we have a daughter or another son. How strangely "real" that feels! I can't believe that this time next week, Sprout will probably not even be called Sprout any more, and I will constantly be referring to him/her with a real name! And saying, "He is moving a lot today" or "She is getting so big!" My head can't get round that idea at the moment! It seems too surreal.
BUT, if Sprout is a girl, then we may not have a name for her at the scan! We still have our shortlist of 4 girls names, but lately when I think of them, none of them thrill me anymore, they seem tired and like I have heard them too many times. And Neil feels the same way about them. Even if we still liked them a lot, we haven't been able to agree on one yet. Last night Neil just said, "We need a new list of girl names!" But I am sure we have already done the thing where we rake every name we vaguely like out of the books and websites, and THAT is where the four names on our shortlist came from! So I don't think we will get anywhere by trying to find a whole new lot of names. Especially by the scan (when we had hoped to have "the" shortlist ready)! Poo. It will be soooooooo easy in comparison if Sprout is a boy. His name is absolutely definite, and our feelings about it don't change at all. We stopped even thinking about other boy names long ago, so that's great if it's a boy! Not sure what we'll do if it's a girl though!
Sprout is very active at the moment. I am noticing a vague pattern emerging to his/her sleep-and-wake cycle. I feel kicks and very active movements at around midnight, 6am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, and 9 or 10pm. In between it is pretty much quiet, though I get the odd thump if I suddenly change position or Arthur knees me in the belly or something! I am hoping the midnight to 6am thing bodes WELL for us! It's the longest gap in activity - but sometimes I DO notice the odd movement if I get up in the night, almost as though Sprout has been woken by my activity and gives me a sleepy thump before going back off again! Arthur was very active in the night, pretty much all the way through my pregnancy. Every time I woke he was bumpling! He woke at midnight, 3am and 6am like clockwork to kick me HARD and squirm about, every night. So I hope Sprout is going to prefer sleeping at night more than Arthur has!
Sprout now measures 10.5 inches (26.7cm) from head to heel, and weighs 12.7oz (360g) - getting so big in there!!! Nearly all the kicks and thumps I feel are down low on my cervix or bladder. I feel some very hard kicks to my back and bowel sometimes, and occasionally I feel thumps out to my sides, but almost never feel kicks up towards the top of my uterus. That is very different to Arthur. All his kicks were up and made my tummy ripple and lurch! I feel the same lurching and heaving inside me but it's all so low and down into my pelvis that only my insides feel it, and it doesn't show too much from the surface of my belly. I am wondering if my placenta is right up over the top of my uterus?? At least I feel reassured that I don't have any sort of placenta praevia, because I feel kicks and movements extremely clearly all over the cervical area, and a good way up from there too.
Today was the first time I felt some really big kicks up near my tummy button, but they only lasted for one "waking" and by the next time Sprout was active and awake, the kicks were back down again! Arthur was mostly head down but occasionally breech, and boy did I know it when he was! Sprout seems breech all the time, or transverse. But it doesn't matter at all yet, this early on. I will be interested to see at the scan where my placenta is located. With Arthur it was high and posterior. I wonder if it might be slightly right lateral this time?? I guess I can't know, but I am trying to figure it out by where I DON'T feel the kicks.
I hope everything is healthy and normal with the placenta and Sprout. And the cord. I hope Sprout has 3 vessels in his/her cord and everything. I just hope there is absolutely NOTHING abnormal at the scan. I just want everything to be fine.
I spoke way too soon about my immune system, hehe! Arthur and I went to Playgroup for the first time on Wednesday (with over 100 toddlers!) and HE is fine and dandy but I had a horrible cold by Friday night. Sooo I have my first virus this pregnancy. But I still say my immune system is way better than last pregnancy. I know I have avoided at least two colds that I was exposed to so far, and this cold - although yucky - isn't kicking my butt like everything did if I caught it last pregnancy. In fact it is probably the least terrible cold I have had in years. I haven't had much sleep with my throat and congestion, but that's just the way colds are, and I am fine really. Tireder than usual, but oh well. I feel strangely cheerful and optimistic about everything this pregnancy, it's almost WEIRD of me, hehe! Although maybe it's a second trimester thing?? I wasn't quite so cheerful at times when I felt horrible in my first trimester. Right now this just feels like something to ride out and it will be gone in a few days, which is NO time at all :) My body is fighting it well, so that encourages me.
Arthur's awake. Will finish at the next nap! :)
Okay he's napping again, but I think he will wake any time as I have been sooo busy doing a million things so there's not really any time left to write.
We went out shopping this afternoon, and I am so happy that I just feel a bit coldy and not ill as such. This is the easiest cold I have had in years - SO weird how my body seems stronger than ever since I've been pregnant. I am certainly enjoying this pregnancy, but like it's just unfolding that way, not because of anything I'm doing. I am so thankful! :)
Two supermarket checkout people (we went to TWO supermarkets and a million shops for birthday things, urgh!) asked how old Arthur was and nodded at my bump saying, "And another one on the way?!" Sooooooooo fun!!!! I love that I'm showing! I feel like I have waited an age to get to this exciting part of pregnancy. I just want to shoooow so everyone can knooooow, hehe!
Talking of things showing - oh my giddy crumpet, my butt is expanding yet further! Last night I was getting changed and Neil said that you could really tell I was pregnant now... (tactful pause)... from ALL angles! ;) I stood in front of the mirror, and lo and behold, in the space of just a few days (I kid you not) my bottom is headed to the east and the west to the tune of several inches (each WAY from the look of it!!!). Or north and south, depending on which way I'm facing ;) It does NOT cut a pretty figure any more, and it's sooo sudden. I guess I must have put weight on, and it's all gone on my bottom. Which it did NOT do last pregnancy, and I have heard soooo many people say when the weight goes on your bum and hips, etc, it's a girl. So hmmm. I am suddenly a real triangular shape! This afternoon I changed into some maternity jeans (the ones I've merrily been wearing these last few weeks) and they are noticably too tight over my bum! Yikes! I actually had to put them (and several other pairs) on the "too small" pile!!! Fortunately I had a lot of bigger ones put aside from last pregnancy, so I put a pair of the next size up on (which was baggy as anything at 15 weeks and I honestly could not have worn them), and they fit perfectly. So something has happened, very quickly! If I remember, I will check my weight again tomorrow for 21 weeks. I seem to remember that it piled on FAST once it got going last time. Oh dear. I hadn't planned to gain 50+ lbs again this time!!
What else is there to report? Oh my breasts are SOOOOOOOOOOOO painful!!!! They hurt all the time, and the last two days they have been burning on and off like crazy, all over. Also - new in the last week or two - I have no milk left. Not one drop. Nada. But I'm thrilled that Arthur hasn't batted an eyelid, bless him! He is still nursing just as frequently and wanting to nurse for a long time at bedtime, etc. I love that he obviously gets so much comfort out of it, because that's all that is left now, and he's continuing as normal! I wish I still had milk for him, but I am just so thankful that I had milk for him all this time so far! I know it could have easily dried up in the first few weeks of pregnancy, but it didn't. Also it now feels so much closer to the end (even though I'm only halfway there), so I know it won't really be that long before there is milk for him again :) And before then he will get colostrum at some point. I noticed in my diary that I was 20w5d when I first saw beads of colostrum leaking, so that would be yesterday in this pregnancy! So I am watching out for it any time from now really. I hope Arthur likes it, but I am losing my worries about him being put off by anything, as he hasn't hesitated at any of the changes so far - even no milk at all! I think he'll be pleasantly surprised at the arrival of colostrum! :) I hope it comes soon. I like him to have SOMETHING when he nurses. Right now, nursing is horribly painful, but I am doing it anyway. It's worth it, to me. I still love my snuggle time with my little one too much to cut it down when it hurts.
Okay it's the end of the evening now - this diary entry has been an all-day epic! ;) I didn't really have much else to add before, but I do now!!
We have a girl's name!!!!!! Yay! Neil and I were discussing the girl's name crisis this evening (!!) and we were tossing those shortlisted names back and forth and both saying how none of the names we've picked really feel SPECIAL to us at all. They just feel like "nice" names that we like a lot. We were wondering if that's all there is to it, that's how it is when you pick a name for your baby. With Arthur it was totally different. His name was instantly special, like it shone amongst the others to us. Also (and rather weirdly!) it felt like we had always had a little boy named Arthur - I can't explain it at all, but that's how it felt. Deep down from that moment I felt sure it had to be a boy. I just didn't trust that instinct till I saw for myself at the scan!
This time, no names have jumped out like that - none of them feel special in the same way. It has made it really hard to pick a name because we wanted/expected the same experience and even sort of figured that only the RIGHT name would give us that feeling. If we didn't have that feeling then we hadn't found the right name, that kind of thing. Tonight we began to think that wasn't going to happen and we would just have to pick a nice name that we like and which will no doubt grow on us and become wonderfully special when it is attached to our little precious one!
Anyway then Neil went in the kitchen to turn the oven off, and while he was out there, I tried to think if there had been a name I LOVED but didn't feel we could use for some reason or other. When he came back in, I said, "You know, a name that I really love is Emma. But we can't use it." And Neil loves Emma too, and he remembered the conversations we'd had months back about it. We dropped the name from our list because of three reasons:
1) Jane WILL be the middle name. Emma Jane is a popular brand of maternity lingerie, and somehow I felt like it would be made fun of - either to us when we announce it, or to our Emma Jane at some stage in her life.
2) SIL had a baby girl LAST June and she is called Ella. Too similar? We wondered if it might be, so that was another reason.
3) The newest baby born at church is called Emma, in November. So for me, that was the last straw and we put it off the list.
But I love the name. Neil loves the name. It goes well with Arthur.... Arthur and Emma. I like that. It goes perfectly with our surname, and aside from the maternity lingerie connection, it goes the nicest with the middle name Jane out of all our girl's name choices. A special reason for me wanting to use it is that my great-grandmother's name was Emma, and she was the only great-grandparent I knew. She died when I was 16 and we saw her frequently and I felt close to her. If we used that name, I would feel particularly proud and moved that I had named our little girl after her in a way. Even though we would mainly be using it because we just love the name. Actually she HATED her name, and had all her friends call her "Nan" for most of her life! But I love it, and I love that connection with her. I know my family will find it very touching too, as they were all close to her.
I told Neil the bit about my great-grandmother, and he said I never told him that before. I can't remember. Anyway, he suddenly went all decisive on me (!!) and declared that if this baby is a girl, he wants her to be called Emma Jane. The one thing I wanted to do before throwing away my much-edited list with relief, was to ask people online what they think of the name. I did not want to let you guys know our final name choice for Sprout until I announced his/her gender after the scan. But it might still be a boy, and then I'll get to do that anyway! But in case it is a girl, I need your opinions. I don't mind whether people LIKE the name or not, I specifically need honest feedback about the maternity lingerie association - is it a potentially bad choice because of that? Could it be a problem for "her" at some point - I don't want that. Will we regret it and feel embarrassed announcing her name when she is born? I know I am being overly petty about it, but I just want to err on the side of caution and get some opinions before we make it a definite choice. Otherwise we'll think again I guess. Or consider doing so.
I asked at a baby names forum and so far I have 3 responses, all saying it's a cute name and no negative associations so far. One lady just said it was fine so long as we were okay with Emma being an extremely popular name at the moment, which we are. I checked the England and Wales list for 2005 and it's at number 22, which isn't overly popular at all really. I think it's a lot more popular in the States and this board is American so maybe that's why she mentioned it. But strangely enough (for us anyway!) we hadn't even thought about the popularity. We just love the name so much that we don't care! So I guess that really does make it a name that stands out as special to both of us :) Hooray! I just need to know about the other thing - please let me know what you think!
I DO have this feeling about the name. Emma, I mean. I'm excited about it. Like it has me buzzing just to be thinking of the name. Just to think we might have an Emma makes me want to hug myself with glee for some reason! Thinking we might have a Sophie or a Georgia or a Bethany does NOT. I can SEE Emma in my arms. I know we might be having a boy (who I can also see by name in my arms - with the name we have chosen), but it's so strange. It's like I already know MY Emma. A bit like how I felt about the name Arthur before we even knew he was a boy. BUT I do feel the same way about our boy's name choice, like I said. So it's a total mystery as to which it will be!!!! Oooooh now I'm more excited than EVER to get to find out if Sprout is a boy or a girl.
There's another weird thing. Emma feels so much like a real permanent "thing" that using the name Sprout now feels weird and I just don't feel like using it any more. I feel like writing "the baby" rather than Sprout. So weird. I wonder if it IS a girl?.... I will be so excited if it is!!! Emma Jane. I guess I can see that name looking really plain to lots of people, written there, but to me it's the most beautiful name ever! I will be so excited if it's a boy though, as well. I am so in love with both possibilities and so in love with both name choices, that whichever it is, I know I am going to want to do this all over again in the hopes of having the one I didn't have this time! ;)
Anyway, yay! I feel so high about it all! So happy and excited that it's such a wonderful WIN-WIN situation!! And I am so blessed to be getting one or the other! :)
It's so late. I am going to bed. We have playgroup again tomorrow. I hope we don't catch another lurgy! Please do let me know what you think about Emma Jane. Thank you so much!!!! xxxx
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