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2006-06-17 - 11.36pm��previous entry��next entry
3 days old - milk and stuff :)
Just an ultra super duper quick entry to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for the lovely congrats and sweet words!!! I was so overwhelmed by how many of you signed to say such lovely things, thank you all! :)
It's late and I am meant to be asleep as everybody else is (at last!), but I just had to quickly update to say everything is going well.
My milk is in already! It started to change less than 48 hours after the birth, which I guess must be down to tandem nursing, as it was 5-6 days before it came in with Arthur (who had refused to take the breast at all in that time!). Last night there seemed more of it and it was a more watery consistency than just thick colostrum, but still clear like colostrum. This morning my breasts are like TWICE the size they were last night, hehe! And Matthew is gulping and swallowing, Arthur too :) I LOVE hearing my boys gulp and swallow as they get my milk! It feels like ages since I produced real milk, when the last of it dried up at around 18 weeks pregnant. True to form, Arthur hasn't shown the slightest acknowledgement that there is anything different as he nurses! The only difference I can see is that he's definitely making drinking/swallowing sounds as he feeds now, so I know he is getting Mummy-milk again :) I love that!
Matthew seems more settled since my milk came in. He is possetting little amounts of Mummy-CREAM, so I can see that he's getting some good stuff :)
The midwife came today and weighed him. He now weighs 7lbs 4oz, which is a loss of 7oz on his birth weight, which is normal and fine. I expect he'll pile it on again pretty soon! I wondered if he had a teeeensy bit of jaundice today, just in the very corners of the whites of his eyes, but the midwife said his colour was fine. She's really pleased with him. His cord stump is clean and starting to look like it wants to detach sometime soonish. He didn't wee as much as I would have liked last night, but it's SO hot and humid again and now that my milk is in, I feel reassured that he'll be getting plenty of fluids. He's still pooing meconium!
He is so alert! He holds his head up really well and stares around like he's taking the whole world in. His eyes are much better at focusing today - they were a bit random yesterday sometimes! He does everything with his eyes open, until he falls asleep. He breastfeeds staring widely at everything, and I love watching his eyes get sleepier and sleepier and finally closing as he gets near the end of a feed. I am demand feeding, and sometimes he seems to be on the breast constantly, and other times he will sleep for 2 hours or so in the Moses basket. He is pretty restless still, and last night I didn't get much sleep again. He just won't stay asleep! He stirs and cries after 20 minutes or so, and I can't seem to drop off within that time, so I end up awake till like 3am and then Neil comes in and rocks him, and for some reason both my boys have always stayed asleep really soundly after Neil has settled them to sleep! As newborns, anyway. So Neil helped me a lot last night, and eventually I got a few hours sleep before Arthur woke. Then I got a little more during the first part of the morning.
I am so utterly drained and tired today. My brother and his Sarah, and my grandparents came to see Matthew today, and it was lovely to have them round but in hindsight maybe we accepted too many visitors in one day? Arthur loved having them round though!
I am doing fine otherwise. I am taking my prenatal vitamins with iron because I feel a bit "pale" and weak like I did after I had Arthur, which turned out to be anaemia back then, so I'm hoping to knock it on the head if it's the same thing this time. My stitches are healing fine and feel a little better today already. The hot weather means open windows though, and for me, that means hayfever and thus sneeezing! And sneezing + stitches in pelvic floor muscles = owch! And just because I never hold back anything in this diary (!), I have successfully managed a poo without being all scared about my stitches, so that's a relief! I always dread the first time that has to happen!
Arthur is still fine with Matthew, and calls him "Maa-maa" (as opposed to the name he has for me, which sounds more like, "Muh-muh"). Today though, he has been a bit highly strung with all the heat and the visitors, etc, and got rather overtired and stressy at one point. He wanted to breastfeed when Matthew did, but he wanted specifically to nurse from the side that Matthew was on. When I said he could have the other side while Matthew was on that one, he had his first moment of tired annoyance with Matthew, and tried to push his head away from my breast! He also had a mini-moment a bit later when I had Matthew propped in a sitting position on my knee, patting his back to burp him. He tried to gently shove Matthew aside when he wanted to get near me. He has cried and been more tantrumy today than usual, and sometimes that has coincided with Matthew crying and being desperate for milk, and that has been hard at times. I hate having to choose between my lovely boys, and decide on meeting one of their needs and not the other's. But I guess that has to be.
I had a sort of baby-blues session this evening. I guess it's Day 3 so that would be normal right now. I was just feeling all hormonal and weird and insecure, and I was sitting on the sofa while Neil made us some dinner, and I had a big afterpain. My hands happened to be resting on the lil bump that is left over after being hugely pregnant, and I felt my womb tighten up into a little hard ball. It is now about halfway between my pubic bone and my tummy button, so it's contracting down well. Anyway, I had that familiar surge of fondness as I felt that little baby-house under my hand, and then just started to cry and cry because I realized it was empty now and disappearing down where I wouldn't be able to lay my hand on it again for some time, like the sun setting at the end of a beautiful day. I felt so empty-of-baby and so sad that there was no little life inside my body any more. Matthew was sleeping in the Moses basket right across the room from me, and I went and sat with him and gazed in at his sweet sleeping face. I felt so happy that he is here and so glad to have him, but also sad that this whole chapter of my life and his is already finished. I'll never again feel him inside me, or lay my hand on my round belly and feel that surge of love and excitement at the knowledge that he's in there. It's all over. The next WONDERFUL chapter has begun, but I mourn the loss of the previous chapter already, as it will never be here again. Anyway I cried a lot. Neil held me (again!). He's so wonderful. I just feel a bit hormonal tonight. I guess that's very normal though.
I also have a lot of back/rib/pelvic pain today, as though allll my muscles are complaining because they aren't used to holding a newborn in the same position for 20 minutes while he breastfeeds or something. But I think the pelvic pain is down to ligaments resettling and stuff after the birth. I feel a bit battered today! I am using my homemade cloth maternity pads and LOVING them! I'm so glad I made them! They are so much more comfy and "clean" feeling than the disposables.
Matthew has a really different body shape to Arthur when he was a newborn. Some of the nappies that fit Arthur wonderfully don't seem right on Matthew, and I ended up digging out the bag of nappies that I was going to sell on, as they had not suited Arthur at all so I figured we wouldn't use them again. Matthew fits the newborn Proraps way better than Arthur did, as his build is more lean and long around the hips and legs. He fits my homemade Very Baby AIOs wonderfully too, and my homemade wraps. I am thrilled that Matthew fits the newborn Honeyboys that I made before ARTHUR was born, really well! Arthur never wore them, because he didn't fit them well, and anyway he peed right through them, fleece and all! Matthew pees so lightly and they are such a perfect fit for his shape, so I'm keeping those after all! I only wish I had made more now!
Okay this is a much longer entry than I had planned and it's getting really late. I do have photos but they aren't uploaded from the camera and I have no time/energy to do that at the moment, so I'll try to post them when I can. Thank you again for the lovely messages! :)
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